“I guess,” said Lissa, sounding unconvinced.
“The best gifts aren’t always things we buy, they’re gifts from the heart that help us remember special times together. Honest.”
Lissa nodded, digesting Jamie’s words of wisdom.
“Look, Daddy, hats!” cried Mandy, running ahead to a booth sporting all kinds of goofy hats, and Emma took off after her and Lissa, leaving Josh and Jamie to follow along behind. Subtle as always.
“Thanks,” he said.
“No problem,” she said, keeping her gaze straight ahead.
“It’s not that I didn’t want her to give you those,” he added.
“I know.” She kept her gaze straight ahead.
“I just don’t want to make you feel like we’re pressuring you somehow. Although if I thought it would work, I would,” he added, and she could hear the smile in his voice.
Now she couldn’t help but turn to look at him. “I’m sorry, Josh. You seem like a great guy.”
“Actually, I am.”
“It’s just too scary for me.”
“I wish you could bring yourself to trust me. What if we turned out to be perfect for each other? What if, instead of scaring you, I made you feel safe?”
She shook her head. “I always thought I’d feel safe with Grant. The year I was married to him was the scariest year of my life.”
Josh nodded. He shoved his hands in his coat pockets as they walked. “I hope you find somebody who makes you feel safe. You deserve it. Until you do, maybe we can be friends.”
“Do you really think that’s a good idea?” asked Jamie.
“No, but it beats not seeing you at all.”
Jamie nodded to where Emma stood, modeling a Cat in the Hat stovepipe hat for the girls. “There’s your perfect woman.”
“She’s great. Too bad she’s not you.”
They joined the others and Lissa held out a cap for Jamie to try on. It was orange with a coxcomb and designed to make her look like a giant chicken. She struck a pose. “It’s me, dontcha think?” The girls giggled and Jamie plopped it on Lissa’s head. “Oh, no. It’s you.” She held one of the hand mirrors so Lissa could check it out.
The child smiled at her reflection. “Can we get it, Daddy?”
“It’s your money,” he said.
“No, it’s my treat,” Jamie insisted. “Mandy, you pick one out, too.” That was bright. Here she was trying to distance herself from this family and now she was buying funny hats for the girls. And right after giving Lissa a lecture about not buying gifts. She needed a shrink.
By four the temperature was dropping and the sky was turning gray and the air was smelling like snow. “Well, girls,” said Josh, “what do you say we go home and let Grandpa cook up that pizza?”
“Pizza!” cried Mandy, jumping up and down.
“Can Jamie and Emma come?” asked Lissa.
Josh gave Jamie a you-can’t-stop-a-train shrug, and before she could come up with an excuse Emma was saying, “Sure. We can come.”
“Okay, we’ll see you there,” Josh said. He pulled Jamie aside and whispered, “Just friends. I promise.”
Just friends was so not going to work, not when every time she was with him she felt like a female Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, with Jekyll fretting that this experiment was a bad idea and Hyde wanting to grab Josh and swing from the chandelier together.
“Nice of you to commit us,” Jamie growled at Emma after they’d gotten directions and were walking to Jamie’s beater.
“If you don’t go after this guy you need to be committed,” Emma informed her. “Anyway, I want to go. I have no life.”
“I’ll take you home and you can drive yourself.”
“You’ve got new, all-weather tires and I don’t,” Emma argued. “I need your car.”
“I’ll loan it to you.”
“I can’t drive a stick. You’re stuck. This will cheer me up,” she added. “I want one of us to live happily ever after.”
Jamie grabbed her arm and shook it. “Don’t talk like that. We’re both going to live happily ever after. You’ll see.”
It almost felt like happily ever after at Josh’s house as they sat at the kitchen table, eating George’s slightly burned pizza and playing Sorry. The house was a simple tract home with rooms done in neutral colors. Jamie had seen a painting of the girls hanging in the living room as they passed through on their way to the kitchen. It looked like the work of an amateur, short on skill, long on love, and she couldn’t help wondering if it had been painted by the girls’ mother. Other than a well-worn crocheted afghan on the big, brown leather sofa, motherly touches were sadly lacking. Still, there in the kitchen, warm from the heat of the oven and filled with the sound of little-girl giggles, it felt like home.
“I won!” Lissa finally crowed as she moved her piece to the finish. “I’m good, I’m good,” she chanted.
“And modest, too,” observed Josh, who had actually done his share of crowing when he won the first game.
“Daddy, stop making fun,” Lissa said, and gave him a shove.
He pretended to fall off his chair, making the little girls giggle and the big girls smile. He resurfaced with a comeback. “You have to be humble if you’re going to be the Virgin Mary.”
“Daddy, that’s not for real. That’s pretend.” But still obviously important. Lissa turned to Jamie and Emma. “Can you come to our Sunday school program next week and see me? Mandy’s going to be an angel,” she added to sweeten the pot.
“Oh, gosh, we can’t miss that,” Emma answered for both of them.
“I’ll have to check my calendar,” Jamie said evasively. Lissa looked instantly worried. “But I’m sure I’m free,” she added, and the child beamed at her. Great. Is this how you distance yourself? You’re only making things worse for everyone. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
“Okay,” George said as he finished wolfing down the last piece of pizza. “Who wants root beer floats?”
“I do,” chimed the girls.
Jamie looked out the window and saw fat flakes of snow falling. Even though she’d probably be fine with her new tires, she wasn’t looking forward to driving home in the snow.
Josh followed her gaze to the window. “I hate to tell you this, but it’s been coming down for the last twenty minutes.”
“Oh.” That meant the roads would already be bad.
“How about letting me drive you both home after our floats?” Josh suggested.
“Good idea,” George seconded.
“But my car,” Jamie protested.
“Dad and I can bring it to you as soon as this latest mess melts away. Or I can drive your car.”
“Then how would you get home?”
“It’s not that far to walk from your place.”
Two miles in the snow? That was crazy. “We’ll be fine,” Jamie decided. “But we’d better leave now.” She stood and Emma followed her lead.
“Okay,” Josh said, and went to the coat closet. But when he was done fishing around for their coats he’d gotten his parka out, too.
“Oh, no,” Jamie protested.
“Oh, yes.” He grinned. “It’s easier than pulling you out of a ditch anyway.”
She sighed and resigned herself.
“Grandpa, can we make a snowman?” asked Mandy, root beer floats now completely forgotten.
“It’s cold out there,” George protested. “Why don’t you see if our guests will help you and your dad make one before they leave. Since you don’t have to worry about driving in the snow now,” he explained to Jamie.
George and Sarah were in cahoots, Jamie was sure of it.
“Great idea,” said Emma, and a moment later she was rushing out the door after the girls.
George and Sarah and Emma were all in cahoots.
Reluctantly, Jamie followed them outside.
Josh was already busy, helping Mandy roll a snowball into something bigger.
“This is getting out of hand,” Jamie whispered
to Emma.
“No,” Emma corrected her. “This is getting good. Remember that scene in The Family Man . . .” she began.
That was it. She’d had enough of Emma and her movies and her matchmaking. She grabbed a handful of snow and deposited it down her friend’s back. “What movie is that from?”
Emma let out a yelp and squirmed away. She bent and picked up a handful of snow, but Jamie was already darting across the lawn.
In another minute they were all hurling snowballs at each other. Finally the focus shifted to Josh, with all the girls pelting him. He held up a hand. “Okay, okay, I give.”
“I want to finish the snowman,” said Mandy, who was starting to shiver.
“You’re getting cold, little girl,” Josh observed.
“But I want to finish . . .”
“I know, I know. We’ll work fast. Everybody help.”
A few more minutes and they had a snowman standing in the front yard with branches for arms, two tennis balls for big, googly eyes, and a carrot nose, and the chicken hat Jamie had bought for Lissa sitting on its head. And two little girls were laughing hysterically.
“Okay, now. Inside and take a hot bath,” Josh commanded. “And I expect you two to be in bed in your pajamas with your prayers all said by the time I get home.”
“Yes, Daddy,” they chorused. Then, before they went in the house, Mandy turned and hugged Jamie fiercely. Not to be outdone, Lissa hugged her from the other side.
“That was a real movie moment.” Emma sighed as she and Jamie started for the car while Josh nudged his daughters back into the house.
“This is not the movies,” Jamie reminded her. “And after the Sunday school program I’m cooling it with these guys.”
“Those kids need a mom.”
“Go for it,” Jamie told her. “You’ve got my blessing.”
“I would if I thought there was a chance. I saw how he looked at you. He’s hooked.”
“I’m into catch and release,” Jamie retorted.
Josh trotted up to them, ending the conversation. He opened the doors for them, and then took over the driver’s seat, squeezing his massive frame behind Jamie’s steering wheel. Moving the seat back helped some, but he still looked too big for the car.
He shouldn’t even have been in the car at all. What was she thinking? “You so don’t have to do this,” she reminded him.
“I know. I want to.” He smiled at her. “Makes me feel noble.”
“Okay, fine,” Jamie said irritably. “If you get hypothermia, don’t blame me.”
“I’m too tough for that,” he said, and edged the car out onto the snowy road.
They had a couple of slippery moments, but Josh easily kept the car on the road. By now, most people in their right minds were tucked safely indoors so the town lay quiet as they sledded around the frosted lake, which lay under a blanket of white, fringed by fir and alder trees with snowy coats.
“It’s like Narnia,” Emma said softly.
“It does feel magical,” Jamie had to admit. If this were some other man, some other time, she’d have sworn she was falling in love.
They got to Emma’s safely. Josh waited until she was through her front door before sliding the car away. It was a small, chivalrous gesture, and Jamie was beginning to suspect that it was typical of this man.
“While we’re out is there anything you need from the store?” he asked.
“I’m fine,” she said.
“I know,” he said with a smile, “but do you need anything?”
“I’ll be okay.”
He nodded and fell silent, and they drove the rest of the way with only the soft hum of her radio going. Sheryl Crowe and Sting began to sing “Always on Your Side.” She suddenly wanted to cry.
She dammed the tears back and quickly got out of the car the minute it came to a stop in her driveway. It was still snowing, gently though, with little flakes drifting down like the last remnants in a snow globe.
Josh unfolded himself from the car and walked around to where she stood by the passenger door. He lifted her hand and put her car keys in it. “Back safe and sound.”
“I’m sorry you have to walk home in the cold.”
“Me, too.” He closed her hand around the keys. “Call me if you need anything,” he added.
“I’ll be fine,” she insisted. “I’m sorry . . .” About a lot of things.
“It’s okay.” He gave her hand a squeeze, then pulled a flashlight out of his coat pocket and set off down the driveway.
She watched him walk away under an arch of bowing trees, snow drifting around him, and was possessed by a sudden, crazy urge to chase after him, to grab him and kiss him and tell him to come in the house and get warm. Instead, she ran inside the house and shut the door and locked it.
Josh had gone to college in Idaho, so snow didn’t bother him. He was at home skiing on it, driving in it, and walking in it. He also liked to end a day in the snow in front of a roaring fire.
Lissa had been conceived in front of a fire on a snowy night. That one last ski run had chilled Crystal to the bone and he’d been more than happy to warm her up. And boy, had she gotten warm in a hurry. It made him hot just remembering.
But the memory quickly cooled, leaving him feeling empty.
He could have done a good job of warming up Jamie Moore if she’d have let him in.
If he wasn’t a cop.
Josh couldn’t help what he was. His life path had been set from grade school when he was on the Safety Patrol, holding out that flag at the crosswalk, helping students get safely from one side of the street to the other. Boy Scouts, Ski Patrol—if it involved helping other people and keeping them safe, he’d done it. It was probably in his DNA. How did a man change his DNA?
He didn’t. He trudged on. Jamie had been right about one thing. It was a long way from her house to his.
TWENTY-THREE
Heart Lake was still a winter wonderland on Sunday morning, but that didn’t stop Josh from making sure the girls got to Sunday school. Crystal would haunt him if he didn’t. He also made sure Lissa made it to her new friend Damaris’s house. They had all kinds of special girl plans for the afternoon, and Liss hopped out of the truck with a plastic bag filled with mysterious essentials for a good time and a two-liter bottle of pop because Crystal had been big on never going to someone’s house without bringing something and he suspected that she’d want her daughters to do the same.
On his way home he drove past Jamie’s driveway. He couldn’t help wondering what she was doing to pass the time. She had plenty of wood for her stove; he knew that. Maybe she’d thought of something she needed from the store. Remembering how cute she’d looked the night before in that black sweater and those butt-hugging jeans, he could think of something he needed.
Damn it all, there had to be a way to convince this woman that he wasn’t like that piece of shit she’d been married to. He wanted to help her heal her broken heart, but going over to her place when she’d made it clear she didn’t want him around would be dumb.
Almost as dumb as wanting her in the first place. He forced himself to drive on by.
He resisted the same temptation on Monday when he was on patrol and saw that her shop was closed. If she needed anything she had his number. She had his number. Period.
He frowned. Women sure complicated a man’s life.
He finally finished dealing with the fallout of morning traffic accidents due to icy roads and decided to swing by and check on Mrs. Kravitz and see if she needed anything. There was one woman who would be happy to have his help.
“How nice of you!” she declared. “I was just wondering how I was going to get to Vern’s to pick up my blood pressure medicine.”
“I’ll get it for you on my lunch hour,” Josh promised. “Anything you need from the store?”
“Oh, I couldn’t.”
“Sure you could. What would you like me to get?”
Ten minutes later he left with the ten-dollar
bill she’d insisted on giving him and a list of groceries that would probably total closer to twenty. But he wouldn’t tell her that. Instead, he’d mysteriously lose the receipt. How many other folks were in Mrs. Kravitz’s shoes right now? he wondered. He stopped by the station to see who else was around and found Martinez at his desk, writing a report. “Hey, when you’re done with that, I’ve got an idea.”
They had finished making calls and were dividing up their list of known needy subjects when Chief Romeo walked in. “This is a chance for some good PR,” said the chief after Martinez told him what they were up to. “You two stay put a minute.”
“Gawd,” muttered Martinez. “How much you want to make a bet this ends up involving Quinn?”
Sure enough. The chief returned wearing a big grin. “Okay, guys. You both got a ride-along.”
The two cops exchanged looks.
“Martinez, you’re taking Mayor Quinn. Armstrong, you’ve got Lezlie Hurst from the paper.”
Josh let out a heavy sigh. “You know, Chief, we weren’t out for publicity.”
“I know. But it’s good for the force. People need to see us as the good guys. So here’s the deal. You said one of you was picking up stuff for the food bank?”
“Yeah, me,” said Martinez.
“Well, now I want both of you to go. We’ll get a shot of you guys and the mayor getting stuff at Safeway, then you can do a photo op at the food bank. After that, you can just get on with it.”
Josh frowned.
“Get all this done and get the ladies back by four. Temperatures will be dropping and we’ll probably be up to our asses in bent fenders by five. And, Armstrong.”
“Yes?”
“Make sure you smile for the camera,” added the chief.
No need, thought Josh, the mayor will smile enough for all of us.
He was right about that. The mayor not only smiled. She talked, starting the minute Lezlie showed up. Josh tuned most of it out.
“This is such a great idea,” said Lezlie when the mayor finally came up for air.
“We think it’s a wonderful way to serve our community,” the mayor said, beaming. “This is why we’re all here.”
This is why some of us are here, thought Josh. He looked at his watch. Almost two. Their allotted good-deed time was shrinking. “If you’re ready, Mayor, I think we’ll get rolling,” he said. He walked out of the station, Martinez falling in step with him, and leaving the mayor no choice but to put her money where her big mouth was and follow.
Angel Lane Page 21
