by Lyle, Travis
Hearing her speak those words, my gut hits the floor as if it’s weighted with lead. Physically I find myself being able to handle this, but it’s the mental aspect that places my fears in power. Looking up at Amanda, I witness the carefree feeling that she’s shown since I’ve met her. That feeling is what I now begin to feel. It feels like she’s giving me strength by watching her, helping me to overcome my fear. With each step up the winding tower in the tree, I begin to follow Amanda much closer.
A thought sorely blisters my mind.
“I haven’t had a panic attack yet.”
My chest clutches, I begin to grasp for air as now my stasis is hyperventilation. My equilibrium flutters. I lose grip on the spiral stairs that leads up this tree. Vision begins blurring, and my knees tremble as I fall backwards. In this moment no thoughts dare pierce my mind. It’s as if nothing exists for a few milliseconds during freefall. Somehow, Amanda reaches back and grabs the collar to my shirt. Holding us both against the tree, she gives me enough time to get a grip on the wooden boards used for steps.
I’m not sure right now how I’m even holding on as I still can’t quit hyperventilating. A soft voice begins to sync in rhythm with my breathing speaking as if she truly cares about me,
“It’s okay. Hollister we’re both alive. Calm down and take slow deep breaths.”
I think to myself,
“Who is this wonderful woman?”
I’ve never met a person besides my mother that instantly shows this type of care for me. She doesn’t even really know who I am, but it feels like we’ve never spent a day without each other.
With just her voice alone my panic attack begins to subside as now I’m breathing slowly and deeply rather than the short, rapid, and pulsating breaths that left me gasping for life. Nearly in tears, not from fear though, from joy and shock I say,
“Amanda, you’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met. Thank you for saving my life.”
She begins with a humorous tone, but quickly changes to concern,
“Quit being a baby Hollister, you would’ve only just broken something from here. Now can you finish this climb with me?”
Stating with confidence because Amanda’s driving me to do things I’ve never been let to do before I say,
“I can do it. Well, at least I think I can, but I want to do it. I’ve already made it this far, for me Amanda, there’s no turning back.”
Amanda doesn’t speak rather she smiles. I think she knows that I really like her. How could you not, she’s amazing. With no more incidents we reach the very top of the wooden stairs. A floor with a hatch door is directly above us. Releasing the hatch lock, a hole opens up where we can walk to the upper level. Carefully climbing up, Amanda quickly moves me out of the way so she can lock the hatch from the top.
Fully stretching up and glad to be on solid footing without the fear of falling, I become immersed in the most breath taking sight to behold. Dusk is here sending a reddish orange glow through the horizon, toppling over the tops of millions of trees. The land here is so full and lush, thick forest and brush encumber every open spot of land around the lake. Feathery clouds lightly blanket a few spots in the sky giving a purplish tint with the blending variety of colors. Looking through the trees, I can see colors of the changing season from fall to winter. Everything described, glistens like crystals off of the lake. The view alone relaxes your mind and body.
The air is fresh and clean, though now is becoming mildly cool, even considerably cold. As dusk begins to settle, I catch the glimpse of a light shimmer in the center of a large tree. The shimmer looks like a small LED flashlight. With my eye lids squinting, I can barely see a fence surrounding the tree.
A hand grabs my shoulder. Sounding as if her mission’s complete she says,
“It’s quite the breath taking view huh Hollister?”
Amanda can now sense an intense emotion kindling within me. Looking deeply in her eyes I say,
“Breath taking isn’t even the word to describe this. That’s just something that happens when you see what I see now.”
Amanda goes to speak, but only slight sounds come out as I’m is quick to interrupt,
“Amanda, there are no words to describe how amazing and beautiful you are. This breath taking view only takes my breath because you’re the one I see painted in this picture.”
Before she tries to speak again I softly utter the sound,
“Shh”
This is only to grasp her full attention for what I have to say next. Romantically saying,
“Amanda, I’ve never met anyone like you. In fact, I never wanted to even become serious about anyone until now. I like you. I have a feeling you like me too. I guess what I’m trying to say is, will you go out with me?”
Through my actions of jittery hands and twitching feet, she knows that I’m nervous. Who wouldn’t be with someone like her and being someone like me who needs a bunch more practice talking with women. Rather than speaking to me right away, Amanda now gazes deeply into my eyes. Grabbing my broad muscular shoulders, she pulls me closely into her. Seductively she presses her body up against mine, while looking at me innocently. Slowly and carefully working her way over to my lips she speaks with her voice sounding like sex,
“What do you think my answer is?”
An intensity of hormones collides with one another creating a battlefield of lust and wonder. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve never had sex before. The passion I feel right now has never beleaguered me like this. It feels like an army of love soldiers surrounding me with no options of escape. What do I do? Do I make a move on her? She’s already brought me this far.
Our bodies are still pressed up against one another. Slowly I close the other ten percent gap that lingers between our lips. The entire time I pray she doesn’t turn away. Tenderly caressing the crevice between her closed lips with my tongue, we begin to softly touch the tips of our tongues together. Slowly I circle Amanda’s tongue with mine, massaging it back and forth. Softly I place my hands on her hips. Pressing inward and rubbing upward, my hands firmly flows up Amanda’s sides. Mental fireworks begin exploding into reality. Feeling the softness and warmth of her body causes my blood to flow deep in my pants like a river. Amanda speaks surprisingly to me,
“Hollister!”
Hoping I’m not doing anything wrong I say,
“Yes Amanda, what is it?”
Speaking as if not wanting to ask,
“It’s nothing. Just… can we go sit over there on the bench?”
Looking intently into her now grey eyes, few words become softly spoken from my lips,
“I’d like that.”
Sitting on the bench, a bright glimmer catches my eye in the distance. Saying to Amanda,
“Do you see that light over there?”
That’s it, the light glows to a blinding glare. What was it about those words? Time stops, all life pauses on the planet. At least that’s what it feels like. Not even blackness can encumber me, no thoughts think through my mind. Is this even real? Wait, am I dreaming? Am I dead?
Chapter Three
I awake still on top of the tree tower. I think to myself getting extremely excited,
“This is real. Wait! Did I have sex with Amanda?”
Amanda’s gone. Dawn’s rising over the horizon glistening off of the lake. The water shimmers brightly, like diamonds in the morning sun. The almost full moon still lingers in a light feathery cloud painted sky. Nearly giving the same appearance at dawn, as what I viewed at dusk, though the sky is painted red. In the distance, what looks to be a black wall is present in the sky. There’s a saying I vaguely remember,
“Red sky at night is a sailor’s delight, but a red sky in the morning all sailors take warning.”
Not able to get her out of my mind I think,
“Maybe Amanda had to get home real quick. Uh oh, her dad’s going to be so pissed at me. Well, I love her and I’m going to face the music. I’m going to her house and my mind is made up. Besid
es, I’m rich.”
Even though I may have thought this, I’d pay almost any cost to be with her. As everything has its price, everything also has its limits as well. This feeling I have with her, somehow I feel like I’d even die for her which is odd because I don’t want to die at all. I’m the very last member of my blood line.
I’ve seen too many horror movies, and most all characters are dumb. I’m the first to run away from anything odd. I’m not the first to suggest everyone to split up. You can call me a chicken shit if you’d like. I feel that I’m being logically smart. I wouldn’t even suggest anyone walk alone in some creepy woods, out in the middle of nowhere. In fact, so far out that a cellular signal is a rare occasion. Wait a second, this sounds like my current predicament. A thought brought a major pep talk in getting me out of this tree.
“Why did Amanda leave me now?”
I didn’t even notice how I made it on the ground. The four-wheeler is started, and I now find myself racing out of the woods. Actually, Amanda must be a good teacher. I feel like I’ve done this for a while, years even. This feels almost like a black out, only because I faintly remember even doing it. I believe I noticed Amanda’s quad still at the tree. Couldn’t be, I must’ve seen wrong. My eyes must be deceiving me this early in the morning.
I drive the quad to the front steps of my porch. Being light outside now, I quickly race inside to freshen up and complete my morning hygiene routine. Finishing, I race to the four-wheeler, I saddle up on it as it’s become my metal horse. I have a mixed bag full of emotions going on inside of me, and all of these emotions deal with Amanda. I just can’t get this girl out of my mind, and I must learn about what happened between us last night.
On my way down the driveway to the caretaker’s home, I see Jim drive out towards town in his flatbed ford. Staring intensively at the back glass of the truck, I only see Jim inside. I think to myself,
“Amanda must be home.”
Drifting into the driveway, I see Amanda’s mother sitting on the porch swing. Using my manners as I fear my mother mentally smacking me if I hadn’t I ask,
“Excuse me Elizabeth ma’am, is Amanda home?”
Sounding like she’s been expecting company Elizabeth replies,
“Well, if it isn’t young Mr. Hollister himself. Yes hun, Amanda’s just inside the house. Follow me and I’ll take you to her room.”
Knowing I need to withdraw some money to buy a vehicle I ask,
“Thank you. Do you know when Jim will be back? I’d like to go to town and run some errands.”
What ever vehicle it is that I pick out, it’ll have to be equipped with a four wheel drive because of the area. I can sense sadness in her voice,
“Ooh, I’m so sorry Hollister. Jim’s going to Tulsa for the weekend to be with his older sister. She’s in the hospital right now fighting for her life.”
Feeling bad for Jim’s sister I reply with a lesser pep in my tone,
“I’m so sorry to hear, if you don’t mind me asking, why didn’t you go ma’am?”
Her voice quickly becomes sounding more like that of a deranged witch,
“It’s just I stayed here because of Amanda. She needs me here, she’s just so little.”
Elizabeth takes my hand and pulls me inside of their home. For a woman in her late forty’s, she can pull me around with ease. It’d almost be unnatural if she wasn’t so tall. Once inside, she closes and locks the door behind me.
Her voice and actions are freaking me out as she creepily says,
“Don’t mind that, come with me.”
She drags me to Amanda’s room. Tossing me near her bed, her room looks like it belongs to a teenager with big dreams. Many collegiate type books clutter the room, though it’s tidy and perfect. There’s one main thing I notice, everything looks so dusty. Like this room hasn’t been sat in for years. Some of these books look to be older editions as I’ve done much schooling myself. Trying to show some masculinity, I know this giant woman could pummel me.
“Okay ma’am, Amanda isn’t here. I think I need to be going.”
Her voice is now fully scaring the shit out of me. She’s nearly squealing as if she’s being possessed by demons.
“No she’s not, she’s right here.”
Elizabeth grabs me and tosses me onto Amanda’s bed. A cloud of dust encapsulates the room. With her trying to rip my pants off of me, I kick my feet with all my might and squirm around as fast as I can. Shrieks and wails of horror rampage through my vocal cords as I‘ve never been this frightened in my life. The door to the room blows open with explosive force, like God is answering my plea for help. Jim yells as he rushes to aid me,
“ELIZABETH!!! Not again, not him.”
Jim quickly subdues Elizabeth, but only for a moment before she punches him to near death on the ground. I didn’t hesitate any longer. Just as a horror movie came to life and in front of me, I complete step one. That step is to run like hell. It’s not just about running either. I also have to tell myself the correct direction to run. Last thing I want to do is run into Elizabeth’s arms. In this moment where it counts, I bail out the door and into Jim’s already running truck. That completes step two, which is to take the fastest route out of dodge.
Thinking as I press the clutch, shift to first, and give it gas to haul ass out of here,
“Sorry Jim.”
Racing down highway twenty, a Delaware County police officer quickly pulls me over before reaching the town of Jay. The officer directs me over to the nearest dirt road and pulls in caddy corner behind me, protecting him from any passing traffic. I can see the officer sitting in the car talking on the radio looking up the license plate to the truck. He’ll know I’m not Jim, but I don’t know how he’ll approach me. I dare not move in fear of being shot.
A static crackle echoes as if a public address system’s being turned on.
“This is the Delaware County Sherriff’s Department. Turn off Jim’s truck and toss the keys out of the window. Then I want you to slowly open the door and step out of the vehicle placing your hands on the hood of the truck.”
I held my breath and done the first thing he stated. The last thing I want is to be shot and killed before I can tell them that I was almost murdered already. Die before I’m able to let them know of the crazed lunatic woman that has her husband probably eaten by now, definitely dead. That wouldn’t look good. My chest begins to feel like it’s going to collapse at the continual thoughts of recent events. Continually flowing in my mind,
“Oh my God, please let nothing happen to Amanda.”
Not wanting to think of anything else, I open the door to the truck. I notice the officer now standing at the corner by the tailgate on my side keeping a safe distance, making sure I don’t have a weapon. My chest feels like it’s going to explode. I feel a sudden jerk dragging me out of the truck. I plant face first on the rocky dirt road. Without the ability to speak one word, not only did I break my jaw on a large rock, another rock is shoved through my left eye socket.
The pain quickly sets in while I come to from a near daze. The Delaware County deputy stands in shock knowing that he didn’t do any of this to me. It’s my panic anxiety which I’ve dealt with ever since I watched my grandfather rape my mother. The deputy asks me in confusion as if trying to determine whether I’m drunk or having the worse day of my life,
“What the hell is going on with you? Have you been drinking young man?”
I couldn’t speak any words, only moans of extreme pain trembles from my mouth. The deputy now knows that I’m in a serious condition. He sees the blood pouring out onto the rocky dirt road from the left side of my face. Hesitating for a few moments, the deputy relies on minor field medic training to stop my bleeding while awaiting the ambulance’s arrival. If it wasn’t for the pain on the entire left side of my face and my adrenaline, I think I would’ve fainted by now. Crying in agony, I notice the deputy approaching me again through my tears.
Having seen a few movies about crooked cop
s, I can’t stop thinking,
“Is he going to finish the job?”
Right now a part of me wishes he would. Amanda could be dead by now. I have no more family left, questioning what’s there to live for. I’m in so much pain, really just wanting to die. Amanda could still be alive and I feel that’s enough to continually fight for. The Deputy carefully places his arms underneath me and moves me to my side. He pulls out the needle like rock that impaled into my eye socket, adding slight pressure to get the blood gushing out of my head to stop. Sounding like he’s going to cry,
“Oh dear Jesus, this isn’t good.”
Emergency sirens sound off, echoing loudly on the roadway. I notice the flickering of red and blue lights. I begin to hear the deputy speak, but then nothing. Everything around me becomes black, as if I don’t exist any longer.
Becoming conscious to the voice of the deputy,
“Do you think Hollister is ever going to wake up doc?”
Noticing my eye struggle to try and open, the Doctor quickly replies,
“It looks like he’s waking up now.”
I feel the deputy’s presence move closer to my bedside. When I try to open my eye, all I can see is blurry objects which quickly make me nauseous. Mustering up the energy needed to move my muscles from what feels like days of hibernation, a clanking sound echoes from the right side of my body. I begin to feel large bumps on the inside of my mouth. Slightly wiggling my dry lips, I feel wires attached to the bumps. My mouth can’t open because my jaws wired shut.
Sounding confused on the entire situation and condition that I manage to conjure myself into, the Doctor is direct and stern with his tone.
“You may need to wait a few minutes before you can question him. We’ll have to keep things to yes or no answers at first. You can have him use hand signals for his answer.”
From outside of the room a female voice strongly speaks as if trying to alert a crowd.
“Excuse me sir, you can’t go in there.”
A familiar sound echoes faintly from the distant. My eye is still shut so I can’t tell how distant. He speaks with a special twang that reminds me of a Mark Twain novel. Southern charm is what I call it.
