She reaches across the table and pats my hand, giving me a small smile. "Nothing changed, sweetheart. I simply woke up."
***
“Lisa! Come on in,” my mother says kindly as she answers the front door herself. “Can I get you something to drink? Tea, coffee, water?”
“Uh, no thanks, I'm fine,” she answers, looking at me strangely as mum kneels down to hug and baby talk to Perry, whose tail is wagging so happily that I can barely see it.
‘Wow,’ Lisa mouths to me and in return I mouth, ‘I know!’
“Can I take him outside?” Mum asks, and when Lisa tells her yes, she's outside in a flash, throwing a stick for Perry to chase and return.
“What happened?”
“I have no idea. It's like she just woke up and decided she was done with grieving.”
“Maybe she's in denial?” Lisa suggests.
“No, she isn't. She's talking about dad in the past tense and even mentions the circumstances surrounding his death at times. I think she's just hit the point where she's ready to put her life back together again.”
“Wow, well, I'm glad. This has been a really hard six months for the both of you. Maybe now you can both get on with your lives.”
“Oh no, not you too,” I say, shaking my hand and place my hands on my hips.
“What? I think you should call him.”
“Lisa, I thought you of all people would support me on this. After what happened between the two of you, I'd have thought you'd tell me to be careful of him because he's such a player.”
She shrugs and pulls one side of her mouth up in a slight smile. “Perhaps, but things are different now. And we aren't kids anymore. And well, when he spoke to me about you, I could tell that he meant it. He loves you, Sandra, for real, and I believe it when he says he's waiting for you too. You can tell he's changed by the way he is in his interviews. He believes in what's between you. Why don't you?”
“For the exact reason you said. Because we're not little kids anymore, and fairy tales aren’t real.”
“I think you're being stubborn,” she argues.
“I think I'm being sensible,” I counter, before heading outside to join my mother and Perry.
Chapter 27
Pushing me out the door, my mother blocks my re-entry with her body. “Go! I don’t want you here.”
“Mum!”
“You’ve been watching me and worrying about me for too long. I’ve been fine for two months now, Sandra. I can be left on my own. Please, go and be a young woman. Go and have some fun,” my mother insists, as I hesitate when the cab I’ve called beeps its horn angrily to remind me it’s there.
I’m supposed to meet Lisa and her friends at The Basement in Sydney where the indie rock band Matiari is playing tonight. It will be the first time I’ve been out and left mum on her own since the funeral, and I kind of feel like I’m being irresponsible by leaving her alone.
I tried to get her to let me call Aunt Liz to come and sit with her, but she won’t have it. She keeps insisting that she’s fine. And really, I suppose she is. Ever since that day a couple of months ago, when she asked to go into the city, she’s been behaving more and more like herself. She’s even begun to talk about dad more, as well as talking about travelling and even moving house. I’m not sure how I feel about any of that, it all seems too soon to me…
“Why don’t you come? You like music,” I suggest, waving to the cabbie to let him know I’m coming.
“Sweetheart, you don’t want your mother hanging around with you and your friends. Go. Have fun. I promise you, I’ll be fine. I’ll just hire a movie and get an early night. Stop worrying.”
She pulls the screen door shut and locks me out, giving me a little finger wave through the mesh while she grins, looking very pleased with herself.
“Alright,” I laugh. “I’m going. But I won’t be late.”
“Take your time,” she smiles, closing the main door and locking that shut too.
Taking a deep breath, I go and get into the cab and give him the address to the venue. When I arrive, I head straight to the door where my name is on the list, and get let straight in without having to wait with everyone else.
In a way, it feels kind of nice doing this again. The last time I was here, I was working. It was that night that Lisa was recognised as Leisil Marx, and that set about the chain of events that lead to Jonathan and I meeting.
I pause for a moment, feeling my chest tighten as the memories revisit me, then, seeing Lisa waving at me from inside, I shake them off and push them away, trying to keep my regret over breaking up with Jonathan pushed to a dark corner of my mind. I miss him a lot. But, I know that what I did was right. We wouldn’t have made it, and I didn’t want to be responsible for him missing out on what was going to be the most exciting role of his career–already the buzz surrounding his performance is hailing as award winning work.
“Come on,” Lisa says, walking over to me and taking my hand. “Come and grab a seat. The show’s about to start.” She leads me to a large table and makes quick introductions of the couples who are sitting around it. I meet a tall blond couple called David and Katrina, a very muscular man called Elliot and his stunning, curvaceous wife, Paige. They’re introduced as friends of Naomi and Theo’s who I’ve meet before. They’re up on stage right now, getting ready to start the show. I don’t get much of a chance to talk to anyone before they play their first song, but I’m promised the chance to talk later when we all go backstage.
The lights go down and we’re treated to an hour and a half of Matiari’s sweet, folk-like sounds as they play all of their most popular songs as well as some of their new, never before heard work. Then as their final offering, they play the song that Lisa has become best known for, Together We Are One.
They put their own spin on it, singing it as a soulful duet that has Lisa almost crying with happiness as Marcus places his arm around her shoulder and smiles down at her, kissing her softly and nodding when she says something close to his ear which leads me to believe that he knew all about this surprise.
Tears fill my eyes also, although it’s not for the same reason. Watching the loving gestures between Marcus and Lisa causes me to feel very alone, and as much as I’m happy that they found each other, I’m also jealous of what they have. Reaching out, I lift my wine and take a sip to cover my emotion, my eyes drifting around the table and noting all of the couples, sitting close, reminding me that I’m painfully alone.
I drink slowly, until I once again have control, reminding myself that I chose this.
I chose this.
Suddenly, the crowd cheers, and I realise the band has finished playing. The lights brighten slightly, and the band members hand off their instruments to their stage hands, then step off the small stage to mingle in this intimate venue.
“I think I’m going to go and get another drink,” I tell Lisa, standing from my seat.
“I’ll come with you,” she offers but I shake my head.
“No need. I’ll be fine,” I smile, picking up my bag and heading to the bar.
“House white, please,” I ask the bartender when he asks for my order.
“It’s on me,” a man says as he moves up to the bar beside me, and as he reaches out to pay, I recognise him by the artwork on his arm.
“Brad,” I smile, turning to face him. “Fancy meeting you here.”
He gives me a wink then orders his own drink as well, pocketing his change as he hands me my wine.
“Thank you,” I say, tapping my glass with his beer bottle in cheers before drinking.
“Any time. So I saw where you were sitting–you’re friends with Marcus Bailey are you?”
“Not so much friends, but I know him through work and I’m good friends with his wife, Lisa. She actually used to work for Voyeur in the advertising department, although she left before Quay became a client.”
“Interesting. Goes to show how small a city Sydney really is. So, I’m guessing you know the
band too?”
“I do, but not personally. I’ve just interviewed them for work and chatted on occasion.”
“So are you back at work now? How’s your mum, and how are you of course?” he asks, taking a sip of his beer as he waits for my answers.
“Work is still on hiatus. But mum is doing a lot better. Probably better than me right now to be honest. I’m feeling really out of my element here; like all of a sudden, I aged ten years but everything else has stayed the same, and I’m too old to belong anymore. Does that make sense?” I laugh nervously, feeling as though I’m rambling slightly, while at the same time enjoying having this slightly revealing conversation.
“You’re making perfect sense. It’s been, what–almost a year since your dad passed?”
“Almost.”
“Well, from what I know about it, grieving changes people but it doesn’t change the world. Things keep moving along exactly as they were, and it can be really hard to get back on the horse – so to speak.”
I nod, sipping my wine thoughtfully when a female hand reaches in between us with an apology, to take a bottle of water from the bar tender.
“Sorry to get in your way, guys. The bar is a bit packed tonight,” Naomi, the violinist and female vocals of Matiari says before tilting her head as she looks at me, recognition lighting her eyes. “Hey, I remember you. You’re Lisa’s friend, right?”
“I am. I’m a bit of a fan too. Such a wonderful show,” I respond.
“Thank you,” she says, before turning to Brad and smiling at him. “And you’re friends with Elliot aren’t you? I saw you talking to him when we were setting up for the show.”
“Yeah,” Brad smiles. “Elliot and I were at high school together. I haven’t seen him for years so we we’re just catching up for a bit.”
“You should come backstage. We’re all about to go back there so it isn’t so loud and we can talk,” she offers Brad. “If you’re here with friends, bring them back too. I’ll let security know.”
“Sure. That’d be great,” he smiles in return as Naomi makes a move to leave but then stops and grabs my arm as if she’s just remembered something.
“I haven’t seen you around for a while. Are you still working for Voyeur?”
“Not really. They’ve kept me on as a freelancer but I haven’t submitted anything for a while.”
“Oh damn, we’re doing an interview with Voyeur next month and I was hoping you’d be the journalist. Can I still request you?”
“I don’t see why not.”
“Great,” she smiles. “I’ll do that.”
“That sounds great,” I smile.
Then she leaves with a wave and I excuse myself from Brad to go back to where I can see Lisa signalling for me to come back.
“Thanks again for the drink. Are you going to come backstage?” I ask before I go.
“I might. I’ll see what the guys I’m here with want to do. If I don’t see you, it was nice catching up. I feel a bit like I’m seeing you more regularly these days than when we were dating,” Brad comments with a smile.
“Hardly,” I laugh before heading back to Lisa.
“Who was that? He’s a bit of a spunk,” she comments, looking over at Brad who has now re-joined his friends.
“That’s Brad. I met him in the lift at work. Do you remember me telling you about him?”
She thinks for a moment and then her face changes when I see the memory hit her. “Oh yeah, the ghost joke guy. So what happened with him?” she asks.
“It just didn’t work out,” I say, waving my hand to dismiss it as no big deal.
“Why not? There’s chemistry there,” she says before her face changes again and she looks apologetic. “Oh, he’s the chef you broke up with for Jonathan isn’t he? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to push…”
“You didn’t. It’s fine. The Jonathan thing is in the past now. I’m sure he’s moved on many, many times by now.”
She links arms with mine as we head through with the rest of our group to the muted backstage area where there’s a private function room set up.
There are maybe forty people in here, and although it’s quieter than the main area of the venue, with all these people it's still quite loud and you need to lean in to hear a little better.
"Well, I don't really know that he's moved on,” Lisa says, tilting her head a little and shrugging as if she knows something she isn't telling me.
"Why wouldn't he move on? This is Jonathan were talking about here, and it's been almost a year. I can't see a man like him not moving on in that amount of time."
"I don't agree, Sandra. You didn't hear the way he talked about you, he's changed. And before you argue that leopards don't change their spots, look at Marcus. He used to be just like Jonathan, and now…well…" she turns her head to where he’s standing talking to his brother, Theo, and it’s as if they are connected by some invisible cable from across the room. With no logical reason as to why, I see Marcus’s attention shift and immediately, his eyes find Lisa’s and his face lights up. You can tell how special their relationship is just from being in the same room as them.
"I agree what you two have is really special. But it’s different. You have the same kind of thing my mum and dad had. And I really don’t think that’s what was happening between Jonathan and me. I haven’t even heard from him since he left. At least with you and Marcus, it was only because he couldn't find you that he didn’t go after you. Jonathan knows exactly where I am, and there hasn’t been a peep. He's moved on. I'm sure of it."
"If you say so,” she says, reaching out to squeeze my arm, giving me one of those tight smiles that says she feels bit sorry for me. “I’m sorry I mentioned him."
“It’s fine. I’m not so fragile that I can’t handle the mention of his name. Let’s just go over with everyone else, and drop the subject okay?”
She links arms with me and leads me across the room to where everyone from the table is standing and chatting with Naomi and Theo. When we enter the conversation, they are talking about pregnancy cravings.
“I never had any cravings with my two,” the dark curly haired woman, I’d been introduced to as Paige says with a shake of her head.
“Well, you had a bit of a craving,” her husband, a very tall, very broad man named Elliot counters.
“I did not,” she argues with a frown, then he leans down and whispers something in her ear that makes her blush, and the entire group burst into laughter as they realise that the craving was more of a carnal nature. Shaking her head, she slaps Elliot on his muscular arm and then rolls her eyes good-naturedly as he kisses her on the side of her head in amongst her wild curls.
Quietly, I observe the conversation as the light-hearted banter continues. This group seems to have known each other for quite some time, and when I ask how they all met, I’m told that Elliott and Paige met Naomi when they all travelled to the UK and rented a flat together. They met over there, and when they returned home, they've all kept in contact, so they’ve been with Naomi through every step of her music career.
Then there’s David and Katrina. They became a part of the group because Katrina and Elliott's mothers are good friends. From what I can gather, Katrina and Elliot dated once but it was very brief and they have since become friends with each other and their spouses.
Then of course, there is Naomi and Theo, who are the reason Lisa and Marcus are involved in this friendly bunch. Marcus and Theo are brothers who both went to school with Naomi and enticed her to join their band a few years ago. After Marcus left the band it caused a bit of a rift in the family, but they’ve since mended fences and everyone is married and talking children like any group of young married couples. And being the only single girl here, I’m feeling kind of left out.
"So do all of you have kids?" I ask looking around the group of couples.
“We have one boy,” Katrina answers for everyone. “I’m not sure if I’m cut out for more than one kid. But Paige and Elliot have two and another
on the way.” Paige smiles and holds up her bottle of water as if it’s evidence of her pregnancy.
“And I’m getting ready to announce my first,” Naomi explains with a smile. “I’m about four months along. So that’s what we’re going to be announcing in our Voyeur interview next month.”
“Oh wow, congratulations,” I say to both her and Theo.
“Thanks,” Theo says. “Knocking her up was tough, but someone had to do it,” he jokes, earning himself an elbow in his side from his wife.
“And as far as kids go for me and Marcus, well, we have Perry,” Lisa says with a wink, although I already know that she isn’t ready for kids, it’s something we’ve spoken about before. So I think she’s saying it more for the groups benefit than mine.
“I love Perry,” Naomi says. “Every time we look after him, I don’t want to give him back.”
And from there the conversation slowly shifts from kids to dogs, to jobs then memories. They’re all very lovely and they include me as much as they can, but their happiness is a little hard to be around and when I notice my wine glass is empty again, I excuse myself to go and get another drink, checking my phone on the way to the bar to make sure my mum hasn’t called and noticing that it’s only ten o’clock.
“What will it be?” the barman asks and I once again ask for the house wine.
"I know you," a blond haired man notes, as I turn away from the bar with my drink in hand. I know him too, it’s Lachlan Hurst, the bass player in Matiari. I haven’t had much to do with him besides a few interview questions and noticing that he spends a lot of time enjoying the female company that many musicians are privy to. "You’re a reporter or something aren't you?"
"I am," I smile, taking a sip from my wine. "But I'm not here reporting tonight. I’m just he enjoying the show, which was really great by the way,” I add.
A big grin crosses his face as his eyes travel down my body. "Well, we do our best to put on a good show for beautiful women like you.”
A Beautiful Star (Beautiful Series, Book 5) Page 15
