by Lane Hayes
“Gosh, I didn’t realize you were cooking for all of us, Aaron.”
“It’s okay. If you’d rather go out, I don’t mind.” Aaron turned away as he spoke.
I cast a wary look between them. When I first walked in, they were laughing, but the temperature had gotten chilly awfully fast.
“We’re staying home. You obviously made dinner and it smells amazing, by the way. What did you make?” I asked cheerily.
Aaron slid a glass of Pinot Noir in front of me and smiled. “Chile verde.”
I grinned. “My favorite.”
“That’s a little spicy, isn’t it?” my mother commented casually.
“No, not really,” I said, giving her a “What the fuck?” look.
“It can be a little spicy. Matt, if your mom wants to go out for dinner, this will keep. I can freeze it. No problem.” Aaron’s voice was painfully bright and cheerful. And completely phony.
“We’re staying ho—”
“Lombardi’s! That’s the name. But if they’re booked, I noticed a cute Italian restaurant on your block. We can give that one a try,” Mom suggested. She gave Aaron a dismissive once-over before adding, “You’re welcome to join us too, Adam.”
“His name is Aaron,” I said sharply.
“Of course. That’s right. I’m sorry,” my mom replied. “If you’re ready to go, I’ll grab my purse. By the way, it’s so bare in your room, sweetheart. Maybe we should go shopping and do a little decorating while I’m here.”
You know that sick feeling you get when you think you’ve dodged a major hurdle, only to find you’re actually under it? My momster had insulted both Aaron’s cooking and decorating skills in the ten minutes since I’d opened the door. I couldn’t believe it. She would have killed me for acting the way she was behaving. She was being spiteful and petty, and I didn’t know how to deal with this side of her. I was at a complete fucking loss.
“I’m gonna go for a run. I’ll see you two later,” he said, flashing another faux-happy smile before making a beeline for our bedroom.
“Stop! What the fuck is going on here?”
They both paused and looked at me like I’d lost my mind. I probably had.
“Matthew!”
“Matty!”
I shoved my hands through my hair in frustration. I didn’t have the words, and I needed to gather them quickly. “Mom. Look…Aaron obviously made dinner for us and—”
“We’ve already been through this, Matthew,” she insisted belligerently.
“Matty, it’s okay.” Aaron shook his head and stepped backward.
“Don’t go anywhere,” I said sharply before rounding on my mother. Fuck trying to find the right words. I lost it. “Why are you doing this? Don’t you see what he’s done here and the trouble he went through to make this nice for you?”
“For me? Matt, now you’re being silly.”
“No, I’m not!” I hissed. “You have no idea how hard he’s worked to make this place a home in less than two weeks. I’ve looked at more paint swatches, towels, pillows, and had my opinion asked about what—”
“You’re roommates. Of course he’s going to ask your opinion.”
“No! Aaron is not my roommate, Mom!” I shoved both hands through my hair in frustration and paced away toward the window. “He’s my lover, my boyfriend, my best friend. He is my…everything. I knew it wasn’t going to be easy for you to accept, but I asked you to try. For my sake, Mom. I know this isn’t what you thought I’d have. The truth is, I didn’t either, but I’m happy. Really happy. I am so…in love with him. Crazy head over heels in love, and I never want to lose him. If you can’t accept that, then maybe it’s better if you leave.”
“You don’t mean that,” she choked.
“I love you, Mom. But I’m not giving him up for you. He’s it for me. I’m not gonna let him go.” I glanced over at Aaron and gave him a lopsided half smile. I hated seeing him so upset. I wanted to comfort him, but I had to deal with my mom first. I couldn’t pretend this would magically get better. If she couldn’t see me and accept me as I was, I had a bigger problem on my hands than I’d ever anticipated.
“I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. I don’t have any—” My mom’s voice was filled with emotion. She held her arms out and then dropped them in a gesture of hopelessness.
“Matty, I’m gonna go for a run,” Aaron said shakily.
I grabbed his arm as he passed. “Don’t go. Please,” I begged.
The three of us stood in an awkward triangle while John Coltrane played soothingly in the background. My mom braved the silence between us first. She sniffed, then offered a tepid smile.
“I apologize. To both of you. Aaron, I—you took me by surprise. I hoped I wouldn’t like you, but of course I did. I do. I panicked when Matt got here. I don’t know how to do this. How to be…just okay with everything. Because you’re right, honey. I didn’t expect you to fall in love with a man. Not in a million years. I’ve never been anything but supportive of gay people, gay rights, but I didn’t think…I didn’t know you were. And I hate that I didn’t see it. That I didn’t know all along. I should have known.” She closed her eyes briefly and then gave me a piercing look. “I love you, Matthew. I love you, and I’m sorry. And Aaron, I don’t know you, but I do like you. If Matt loves you, you must be something special. Please accept my apology.”
Aaron sprang forward and hugged my mother. I stood back for a moment and let them be. I knew there would be other challenges ahead and this wouldn’t be our final obstacle, but this felt like a significant moment, and I wanted to relish the sweetness. When he released her, he slipped his arm around me. I held him tight and leaned close just as he whispered, “I love you.”
Valentine’s Day
A couple of days later, I stumbled into the kitchen, looking for coffee. Aaron beat me to it. He hummed as he flipped pancakes, wearing boxers, an apron, and nothing else.
“Mornin’,” I grumbled, kissing his neck before pointing at the griddle. “Those are hearts.”
Aaron turned in my arms and nipped my bottom lip. “Hearts everywhere today, Matty. Happy Valentine’s Day morning. Go sit. I’ll bring your coffee to the table.”
I pulled out a chair with a dopey smile. “Thanks. Happy Valen—what’s all this?”
I widened my eyes comically and picked up a fistful of candy hearts. The entire table was covered with them. I snickered as I picked one up, fully expecting the naughty messages. “69, Eat Me”…that kind of thing. It would have gone nicely with the naughty underwear I was planning on giving him later. Don’t worry, that wasn’t all I bought him. I just figured I’d start with something sexy before I presented the wine-tasting gift certificate.
I read one heart and turned over another and then another. They were all the same. My pulse raced as I glanced over at Aaron.
He skirted the island, holding a cup of coffee and a plate of heart-shaped pancakes. He set them in front of me and sat on my lap. “This is…wow.”
“Did you read them?”
“Yeah.”
“I love you, Matty.” I opened my mouth to speak, but Aaron gently placed his finger over my lips. “Shhh. Let me talk. I’ve known it for a while, and I should have said it sooner. I love you, Matt. I believe you when you say you feel the same way. You show me every day and…you’re my everything too. Everything. My earth, my moon, my stars…my heart. Happy first Valentine’s Day, my love.”
4
Better Than Pride
Part 1-
As summer neared, Aaron broached the topic of us taking a vacation.
“A short one, Matty. I know you’re busy at work. So am I, but wouldn’t it be fabulous to get out of the city and away from the daily grind? Maybe the beach, or even the mountains, or…”
It was a Sunday morning, and we’d just come back from a run. I sat at the kitchen island, sucking down water while he made us a hearty breakfast of scrambled eggs and fruit. My stomach wasn’t quite ready for food yet. Jogging ten
miles with him ended up feeling like twenty sometimes. He was an avid runner while I was…not. He was faster and set a grueling pace. I wasn’t a novice by any stretch—in the year or so we’d been together, my stamina had improved considerably, but I was still no match for my man. Not only could he run for miles and barely break a sweat, but he could talk nonstop the entire time. And when the topic of a getaway kept coming up, it was clear he was on a crusade.
I took a deep drink from my water bottle as I studied his small, lithe body. He moved gracefully from the refrigerator to the island, setting out ingredients as he chatted away. I loved the way his dark hair fell in his eyes as he looked down to concentrate on chopping peppers to “spice up the eggs.” He was so damn beautiful. I could lose myself staring at him sometimes. I tuned back in when I heard a subtle shift in conversation from the getaway to something about Pride.
“What does that mean, exactly?”
He stopped to eye me carefully with one hand on his hip. “You weren’t listening, were you?”
“Uh…well, there were mountains, and then it went a little fuzzy,” I admitted. I stood and walked around the island, feeling a sudden need to be closer to him. “And you said ‘Pride.’ How does that fit in and…what does it mean? I know it’s parades and stuff. But is it a day to get your rainbow gear out, or what?”
He chuckled and squirmed slightly when I bit his neck, wrapping him in a tight hold with my arms around his stomach. “Cool it, Matty. You’re distracting the chef. And the answer is…yes. It’s a day, a weekend, or whatever works for us to celebrate being fabulous.”
“Hmmm.”
“You didn’t go with me last year because you were studying for the bar exam, but this year you can. Right?”
“Um. I don’t know if that’s really my thing, Aar.”
He went still in my arms. Obviously I’d put my foot in my mouth. But I was being honest. I wasn’t into parades, and the truth was…I really wasn’t sure I was comfortable going to an all-day rainbow-infused one. Aaron nudged me aside and gave me a piercing look before lowering his head to resume chopping peppers.
“Hey, I’m not saying I don’t support the community. I do. It’s just…” I let my words float in the air and turned to grab a carton of orange juice from the refrigerator. I had to shut up. I was going to ruin the morning if I tried to defend myself, but of course I couldn’t think of anything better than, “It’s not my scene.”
“Not your scene,” he repeated. “Really? It’s nice that you support the community, though. I guess I thought since you had your dick in my ass last night, you actually were part of the community. And don’t even think about drinking out of that carton. Get a glass.”
He turned just as I’d tilted the carton to my lips, catching me in the act. Oops. He’d set down his knife and had swiped me with a kitchen towel before blasting me in Spanish. It gave me a slight reprieve since I didn’t know what the hell he was saying, but it wouldn’t last. He was pissed.
I held up both hands in surrender. “Don’t get mad, Aar. Geesh. I’m part of the community. I don’t really know what that means, but I’m head over heels in love with you…even if you do have a lot of rules. I saved us from washing a glass for no reason.”
“Drinking from a carton is gross. Germs, Matty,” he huffed with his arms crossed.
“We share lots of germs, baby. But, let’s stay on topic. Look…” I yanked him into my arms and squeezed him tightly, chuckling when he tried to wiggle away. “I’ve never been to Pride, so I don’t know what it’s all about. I’m not opposed to going, exactly, but if I’m honest, I’d be going for you, not because it means anything to me.”
He was still tense. I had a feeling I’d accidentally dug my hole a little deeper. I kissed the top of his head and tugged at his hair until he looked up at me.
“You don’t get it, do you?” His tone wasn’t angry anymore. It was sad, and fuck…that was worse.
“Aaron, I’m…okay. Explain. What don’t I get?” I released him and leaned against the granite counter.
He sighed before turning back to pick up his knife. “Pride isn’t only a party or a parade. It’s a show of support for the strength and spirit in the LGBT community. It isn’t for gay people only. Parents, friends…anyone who cares to celebrate is welcome.”
“But what exactly is being celebrated? I guess that’s where I get lost. I’m gay and I’m in a relationship with a man I love. Everyone who knows me or you knows it. So why—”
“It’s not a requirement, Matty. I go every year because I believe I have a right to publicly acknowledge my sexuality in a dignified manner. Well, mostly dignified…sometimes it can get a little raunchy. What I love is that this isn’t about politics. It’s a celebration. Holding your boyfriend’s hand and walking down the street in a part of town you usually wouldn’t dare. Fear is still a factor for lots of people. Of all ages. Not just teenagers. It’s important to show up, to let everyone know we’re here and we lead amazing lives doing the same amazing things our heterosexual friends and family do. We have good jobs, we have families, lovers, coworkers. We’re just people, but we’re proud people. We aren’t going to hide.”
We stared at each other for a long moment. Aaron’s impassioned speech moved me. I understood his argument and yes, I felt a little ashamed. He was thinking of others. I was thinking of myself. I nodded and reached for a glass to give my hands something to do. He’d moved back to the eggs, expertly cracking them into a large blue bowl. I’d learned a lot about how Aaron communicated since we’d become a couple. We’d lived together for a few months too, so I was getting even better at reading him. Thank God. He was giving me an out if I wanted to take it. Letting me off the hook. He wouldn’t be angry if I didn’t want to go, but he’d laid everything on the proverbial table.
“How does Pride fit in with us taking a small vacation?”
“Huh? Oh.” He lifted his right hand to brush his hair away from his eyes distractedly. I moved toward him and took over. I pushed the stray strands aside and kissed his temple. He gave me that beautiful smile. The one that made my heart skip a beat every fucking time. “Let’s get out of town for Memorial Day weekend. We can both probably swing taking an extra day off. I was thinking a gay-friendly zone, like Rehoboth or P Town for a small Pride celebration. That’s all.”
“Okay.”
“Really?” Aaron cocked his head to the side and eyed me warily.
“Sure. Getting out of town for a few days sounds great. Beach, mountains, you decide. As long as I’m with you, it’s good.”
Aaron lunged into my arms. I held him tightly, closing my eyes for a moment. Who was I kidding? I’d waltz down Pennsylvania Avenue wearing a rainbow tutu and not much else if Aaron asked me. I was head over heels and really fucking proud to be with someone so amazing. A small vacation with him sounded great. I’d worry about the Pride part later.
Fourteen-hour days were stressful as hell. I’d worked late every night to finish an important contract for a prolific senator who was pissed it hadn’t been done last week. Of course, it wasn’t due to be completed until next month, but there was no point in complaining. This was what I’d signed up for when I joined a prestigious DC law firm as an associate last fall. I knew the days could be long and would often bleed into my weekends. Music kept me sane, I mused as I tuned my guitar in the guest room. At the very least, it was a good distraction until Aaron got home.
I heard his key in the door and grinned when he called my name like he was making a grand entrance in a sitcom.
“Yoo-hoo! Matty, I’m home!”
“In here—hey, you look hot,” I commented with a somewhat lecherous smile as he posed in the doorway with one hand on his hip and one on the doorjamb. He was wearing work clothes, slim-fitted linen-blend trousers, and a pink Oxford shirt. His sleeves were rolled up, and he had that end-of-day mussed look I found really fucking sexy on him.
He grinned in appreciation and gave me a once-over before coming to sit across fr
om me on the guest room bed.
“So do you…except, you look tired.”
“I’m exhausted. Cooked. Toast. I got nothing left.”
“Oh baby,” he soothed running his fingers through my hair. “Nothing?”
I chuckled as I set the guitar on the desk and launched at him. I pushed him onto the mattress and flattened his smaller body under mine, breathing in his scent. Fuck, he smelled good. He smelled like home. I kissed him soundly, then turned on my side to face him.
“What did you have in mind?”
“I’ll show you.” His hand went straight for my belt but stopped suddenly.
“Don't stop. Keep going.” I reached for his hand and placed it over my crotch.
Aaron chuckled, palming my dick through my pants. He bit my chin and licked my lips, pushing his tongue inside with a moan as he arched his hips.
“Mmm. I want you. Clothes off.” I knew it wouldn’t take much to get me hard as a rock and reduced to short phrases and commands. I was so horny and geez, this was exactly what I needed after the day I’d had.
“Wait. I was going to tell you something.” Aaron didn’t stop gyrating. He unbuckled my belt, unbuttoned my fly, and unzipped me. Then he nipped my stubbled chin and slipped his hands under the elastic of my boxer briefs to grip my cock. “We’re going to P Town. Memorial Day weekend…Jay, Peter. Okay?”
“Mmm. Fuck, yes. Your buttons are impossible. You do them.” I sat up, pulled my shirt off, and arched my back to remove my pants and briefs. I tossed my clothes on the floor and rolled sideways to reach for Aaron, who didn’t seem to be in as much of a hurry as I was. His shirt was half-buttoned and his khakis were undone and hung low on his hips. But they were still on. “What are you waiting for?”
“Are you okay, going with them? They’re renting a beach house for the entire week. Peter’s fussy about it being in a quieter part of town, so we’ll have to ride bikes to the action, but that’s okay. Nothing’s too far, anyway. It has two bedrooms, and it’s on the water. They have the extra room and I thought you might be—”
