by A. P. Butler
“Two coffee’s, two spoons and one slice of warm chocolate heaven please.”
His reluctance to leave testament to the sexual chemistry between us. The poor little man-boy just stood there, his eyes not knowing where to look, my dress but inches from my privacy or Laura’s mesmerising bust. Half expecting him at any moment to release his dragon of tiny might and start relieving himself right there in front of us. “Thank you! If you don’t mind!” My words spoken with polite authority, as eyes grew and brow rode high, jolting him from his sordid little daydream.
“Yes, Ma’am sorry,” splurging out his words as he turned from pasty pink to the bright red awkwardness of embarrassment in the flash of Casanovan eye caught dining upon hidden delight.
“An assertive girl Elizabeth, I like.”
“Do you like to be controlled then my naughty little Laura?”
“Sometimes I do, and sometimes I like to play a little darker too!” As seductively and naughtily as any woman could say her words copulated with canal of ear, as eyes glinted with anticipation. Paying the bill before we finish coffee or cake, both hurrying to ascend the staircase back to reception above, the sexual tension’s becoming unbearable. The young waiter of earlier whispering freely to receptionist as we approach, stopping only to grow smile and offer our coats. Assisting Laura to slip into hers, she turns provocatively to assist, spinning me round she pulls me close, her hand wandering across body and bust, thumb crossing path of flourishing lust, closer she comes to whisper to me.
“Let’s give them a show, our little tip.”
Hand gently touching face of mine she moves in, kissing me fully and passionately, her soft wet tongue dancing in perfect harmony with mine, nipples grow as she gently caresses with thumbs delicate brush. Our hearts beat in perfect harmony as passions rise, the man-boys face transfixed by our open display of sexuality, his eyes now broad enough to sail through. As our embrace comes to a tantalising end, it’s my turn to offer a playful bite. Both smiling we turn to the man-boy rooted to spot, a little wink of blue eye was all that it took, at that very moment you could have shot him with a single bullet to head, he would have died a euphoric young man.
“Let’s go home beautiful; I can’t wait any longer.” My words of impatience revealing my hopelessness towards her advances. “Nor I Elizabeth,” her only verbal reply, her body screaming for desires to commence. Ceremonially opening the door, the receptionist looked through amorous eyes and crimson cheeks; obviously she’d enjoyed our performance as much as the man-boy, still rooted to spot behind counters discretion.
Out into the cold night's air of London, I step, relays hand behind searching for Laura gloved mitt. Arm in arm we walk towards Marylebone Road, the road’s as fertile now as it had been earlier. Within seconds of hand reaching for the moon a perfectly kept, shiny black cab with chrome wheel caps pulls up in front. It's cosy warm protection from years end tempest welcoming us aboard, as the door slams nostalgically shut behind.
“Where to girls?”
“Lupus Street, in Pimlico if you please,” is all I can say before Laura pulls me close as we snuggled down to warm each other.
“Bitter cold out tonight girls, you had a good one then?”
“Yes, thank-you, it’s nice to be warm.”
“Kiss her again Elizabeth, that’ll quieten the dribble of stupid.” Lilly’s whispered reply.
Fifteen minutes we spend passionately kissing and caressing each other, the cab driver spent almost as much time watching us in his rear-view mirror. Outside my house the cab pulls up as I offer the pinkness of her Majesties face, insisting he kept the change, more to impress Laura than to champion his excellent driving skills. “Fuck me darling fifty squid! You sure?” His only reply in an astounded south London accent.
As front door mates with frame and lock the cloud of sexual tension between us erupts into a tempestuous downpour, Laura and I devour each other. Before dead bolt penetrates home, Laura’s coat’s upon timber floor. Still facing the door, her hands reach round fumbling across chest releasing buttons and zip as jackets detached. As passion boils, she spins me round. Pulling at my little black dress to expose my breasts. Stooping her head, she takes me into the warmth moistness of mouth. Tongue dancing erotic path round nipples ascent as I grow inside her. Clasping her head pulling her back to me. Kissing her deep with passions free. Releasing perfect breast from fabric confinement. Unable to resist I slide my hand beneath shortness of dress. As tongues embrace, her wetness flows allowing finger to glide as lips gently part. Pulling away she pushes me against the wall, slowly dropping to knee, eyes locked in fleshly desire. Over hips rides my dress, as she kisses my sweet. Gently sucking at Pearl inside dewiness of mouth. Hands cupping above as tongue kisses below.
Somehow we manage to make our way to the bedroom, clothes littering the stairs in our wake. By the time we got close to my bed, we were both exposed, inside each other with finger and tongue. Laura falls back upon the softness of bed, her legs drop wide and freely inviting me to dine upon her. Each brush of tongue enticing her perfectness out from shy retreat. For Hours we indulge, conducting our own private orchestra of gasps, moans, shudders and deep, rapid exhilarating breathing. Culminating with every flick and lick, as crescendo after crescendo of orgasmic pleasures echoes in the vastness of our pleasures.
Laura melts around tongue, her juices sweet and plentiful. Pulling deeper with arched back as hip convulses high into the air. Serenaded by a chorus of fuck me’s and pleadings to the divine above. Our opera of sexual decadence and carnal pleasures continues as bodies writhe uncontrollably in serpent like entanglement. Hearts pounding in rhythmic accord as the exhilaration of wrist deep pleasure sends us both into shuddering submissions of exhaustion and trembling ecstasy. Laying silently entwined within each other's arms for what seems like decades. Laura’s fingers sending electrifying tingles of pure pleasure through me as she dances them up and down my arm. Without speaking a word, we quietly slip into deep and blissful slumber.
Schrödinger’s Cash
The bittersweet hot black espresso pours from the cup as I freeze in fear as the harrowing cold voice of demonic girl climbs upon my back once more, whispering sinister dark memories. Her breath breaking upon goose-ridden skin as old father time dies allowing my childhood fears to gather round, to torment me, stabbing at heart while biting at soul.
“Remember when they tied the little one up?”
“Can you see them force themselves upon her Lisa-Boo?”
“How she cried silent rivers,”
“Remember Lisa-Boo, how they made you watch.”
“Can you hear her cry out for you when she needed you the most my dirty little Lisa-Boo?”
A dam of tears build from behind pain filled eyes, as the sights and sounds of another child rape encapsulate me. My heart pounding to a terrified beat as the smells from that dark distant hell engulf me once more. Ears filled with the sounds of others crying, although nothing but silence from the little girl in my sight. Just staring at me, her eyes locked in torn distant agony, praying to survive, but longing to die.
“Remember how they forgot her when it was your turn to please.”
“How they stole the childhood, the innocents of the young?”
“Remember the pain when they turned upon you.”
“Chasing breath from lung as they pushed it in.”
“Remember the taste that lingered on tongue, my dirty fucking Little-Boo.”
Roller doors of delivery truck crash shut from outside shocking me back into my present reality, sweat rolling down face, body saturated with fear. Hairs upon neck and arms slowly recede, crotch soaked with now cold coffee, pooling as I sit in paralysing fear, the sickening enveloping me once more. Slowly with shaking hand, I place the now empty porcelain of cup upon tables top, my stomach convulsing, bile begins its ascent as I battle to fight its imminent delivery.
The images, sounds and smells I endured as a young girl being raped leave their indelible scar
s upon my soul and psyche, as they do to all those who’s childhood is stolen from them. But watching a baby child experience the same takes an even larger, more painful bite of my soul, the cliff of my abyss eroding faster than my escape can permit. Without warrant or control, I burst into a torrent of a billion razor-edged little tears, each cutting deep into my very existence as I scream with pain, anguish, hate and vengeance.
“It’s not your fault Elizabeth; you were tied up.”
“It’s okay your safe now Elspeth; we’re here.”
“Why didn’t I try? I should have fucking tried! She was five years old for fuck sake!”
Hysterically I scream at myself, fractured by self-loathing and hate. Hands cupping mouth I rock to metronomic beat, backwards then forwards hoping praying hands will defeat shallow rapidness of breath. Muttering to myself how sorry I was to have failed her. A full revolution of cosmos it felt like I’d sat, consumed by guilt, ripped apart by remorse, I despised myself deeper than my abyss, darker than my past. Quietly, as if she were sitting comfortingly next to me, Lilly’s words broke the deafening silence.
“You couldn’t save her Elizabeth; they beat you every time you disobeyed them.”
“Christ Lilly I let them rape her, I should have stopped them, I should have tried!”
“Don’t let them win Elspeth girl, don’t let them back inside, you’re stronger than this.”
For the next few hours, I continued to cry uncontrollably and completely, Lilly and Ubel offering my only comfort, my only absolution. Ubel might be rude and obnoxious, but he’s also loving, caring and very protective of me, I can feel his loving arms embrace me with tenderness and warmth as he attempts to reach out and save me from my abyssal descent. All three of us sit, emotions of resent, pain, guilt and regret raining down upon my trinity of three.
“We could pop out for a bit of fun tonight Elspeth girl.”
“Ubel’s right Elizabeth, you know how much better you feel after a little fun.”
“Come on Elspeth my little button; let's fuck up a Tinder twat.”
“We could use the money to buy Laura those cute little blue suede Oxfords.”
“Lilly’s right my button, think of our lovely Laura.”
“Our past should make us stronger, not weaker Elizabeth.”
“Elsbeth, stop looking through eyes that hate you, see only through eyes that love you.”
The thought of Laura slowly draws a contented smile back to a mascara ridden face. She gives me strength, I know I can conquer the world with one hand, as long as Laura were holding the other. The mismatched pair always find a way of bringing me out of the darker recesses, pulling me away from the abyss. Lilly and Ubel may be obnoxious as individuals, but together they are strong, opposing forces of life they marry to create the perfect beauty of unity.
The abyss is where I find myself staring into after the little girl visits, but the thought of feeling another life slip away does fill me with excitement, helps keep the demons at bay. Standing to look in the mirror above fires place I see only a tortured little girl from yesteryear stare back, all I can say is sorry once more as she fades into the nothingness of the lost and forgotten.
-1-
Three long lifeless days broken by a single afternoon of passion have born and died since I spent the most fantastic first night with Laura. She’d gone when I woke, her scent lingering on pillow accompanied by a million tiny diamond stars which covered both the bed and I alike. She left a simple note explaining her absence, laying upon crumpled pillow next to me, a dusting of diamonds whispering away from beneath.
OMG!!!!
Got to go moon-pie,
Last night was amazing!
Still feel tingly now,
Need you in my life,
Got to go Evan will be suspicious,
Call you later.
Laura :-) xxx
Texting a few hours later to explain her exit in greater detail, explaining she’d to keep her fiancé Evan on side for now at least, he’s a bit obsessive apparently. Not wanting him following, making a scene, she’d told him she been consoling a girlfriend after a torrid breakup. She needed to get home early, or he’d have started to ask difficult questions. Yesterday she returned, and we spent a most enjoyable day together, giggling and laughing like young lovers do. Trying on clothes and shoes, we embarrassed every male shop assistant of New Bond and Oxford Street with our open sexuality and displays of attraction. We’d an even steamier afternoon locked in another embrace, this time we played a little darker than before. She'd text again this morning saying she’d better stay in tonight; her pet Evan was getting suspicious of her newly found elation. Apparently, he was questioning her happiness, which said a lot about their relationship and his male self-esteem.
“App-twat! Let’s get an app-twat Elspeth!”
“Can we please get a gentleman this time Elizabeth? It would be nice to be wined and dined first.”
“Gentleman on Tinder? You gone fucking lar-lar Lilly?”
“You never know Ubel there must be at least one.”
“All directors and dickheads!”
Tinder’s awash with hunks and goddesses, but alas there’s even more monsters to flick through. Ubel’s so comical when we search the dating app’s; he loves nothing more than a good old-fashioned soapbox rant, some of the things he says embarrasses and astounds both Lilly and I on occasion. It worries me at times, after all, he’s part of my psychosis, he only says what I must secretly be thinking. We’ve all a little Ubel and Lilly in us I think, most can’t or don’t want to listen, but both are there, hiding in the shadow’s of our subconscious minds, regurgitating our darkest most private thoughts. A prehistoric tribal defence mechanisms ready to run free should the need arise.
“If you touch yes Elsbeth, I’m gonna pre-frontal your cortex with my man pole!”
“Man pole, more like boy pin! You have the landing gear of a Mayfly Ubel.”
“Fuck off Lilly I was actually thinking of getting a reduction! Christ, God must have had a massive hangover the morning he regurgitated you.”
“Oh, dear Elizabeth his brains got flatulence again.”
“How can you love nature Lilly when it did that to your face!”
“Children please!”
“Sorry Elizabeth, and before you start again Ubel it’s not up to you, beauty’s in Elizabeth’s eye.”
“She better close em then, he’s a fucking mongrel.”
“As you know Elizabeth, I don’t like to judge, but his face does look as if it would feel ugly to the blind.”
“Jesus fisting Mary’s ass, you’d need a waterfall to get you wet!”
“He’s not that ugly Ubel!”
“Ugly enough to have a mother with a loud bark.”
That’s how we spent the afternoon, relaxing, joking and laughing as we swipe our way through hundreds of potentials, unfortunately there seemed to be far more profiles whom appearances made bestiality an attractive option.
Lance, my buyer, ex-lover and life long friend’s name pops up in the address book of my phone, pressing the dial icon I sit and wait for his joyful voice to boom out of the tiny speaker. My reason for calling, simply to enquire of this week's requirements, his answer as cold and unfriendly as any other time, male, heart, liver and kidneys, mid to late twenties, 12 to 15 stone, non-smoker, bonus for a gym rat. A man of few words is Lance, at least on the phone anyway, get him in the flesh, and it’s difficult to shut him up, but I still adore him. Tall, good looking, muscular, dark brown eyes, light milk chocolate skin, tattoo’s almost everywhere, but they kinda suit him. My appointment confirmed I arrange to meet Lance at his place early tomorrow morning with fresh produce.
“Decomposition’s more appealing!”
“Oh Elizabeth, quick he’s nice. A very handsome young man.”
“Rather blend my own genitalia than fuck one of his kind thanks, you’d be better off with a banker.”
“Off you go then little Ubel, Elizabeth and I wi
ll enjoy him alone.”
Gazing down at the shiny little screen, the most attractive man I’ve seen in a long time staring back. Tall, dark and incredibly handsome, big dark eyes with a rugged alpha maleness about him, a rugby boy if ever I’ve seen one, short cropped hair with a smile to melt the hearts of mother and lover alike. A lovely dark blue tailored suit is how he dressed, immaculately tied Eldredge knot of lavender tie. A man in a suit is a man I can desire; a suit makes a man look proud, responsible as if he looks after himself. Clicking the big green keep button, I send a wink then wait. Forever and her friends float by until a reply I get, a butterfly-inducing wink flutters its way back to me.
Jonathan Stephen Davies will tonight become a hero to so many, whether he wants to or not, his parts now destined for greater things. Less than twenty-four hours and he will live again, all be it in different locations simultaneously, within the harvesting community we affectionately refer to these type of donors as Schrödinger’s. Simple flirts consume the first few communications; he plays it cool, I flirt outrageously even texting him a photo of me in just black lacy underwear. The exquisite pieces from Rigby & Peller, not the cheap sweatshop junk from the high street. To the picture, I add a naughty tag line suggesting he can remove it all tonight if he’s a good little boy. Milliseconds later his bite upon hook confirmed, all I’ve to do now is meet, maybe fuck, a quick surgical procedure then make my delivery to Lance.
Forty-five thousand pounds is what Lance quoted for tonight’s order, not the best price in the business but it should keep Laura and I happy for a few months at least. One day I’d love to take Laura to Paris, maybe even to that same little room if the police have finished with it. This time I’ve fallen hard, I’m usually much more reserved about these things but not with Laura, she’s my everything, she deserves the world. Unfortunately, I can’t give her that so I’m hoping she will accept my little world instead. More than happy am I to provide her with the life she desires in exchange for her companionship, her love, her passion, and of course her courtship. The world could be ours should she want, what I do can never be hit by recession or credit crunch, north to south, east to west I can be, never to run out of produce or buyers, a quick call to Lance no matter where and a deal can be made.
