by Mari Carr
“I’m here. I’ll have your coffee ready in just a minute.”
“May, wait.”
She hesitated, clearly hoping to make a quick escape. “Yes?”
“What time did you leave my place this morning?”
May was surprised by the question. “I don’t know. I guess it was around six.”
That would explain the dark circles under her eyes. She was the picture of exhaustion at the moment.
“Did you really take a cab, or did you walk?”
She opened her mouth, but he stopped her before she could dig herself into a hole. “Don’t lie,” he warned.
May sighed, a sure sign she had intended to. “We walked.”
“You realize it’s got to be a good two miles from my place to yours. I would have driven you home.”
She shrugged. “It’s a pretty day. Besides, we’re used to walking.”
Lochlan was working hard to keep his temper in check, but she was testing all his limits. The woman made it impossible to help her. “Come in here.”
She looked over her shoulder, but did as he asked. She was only two steps into the room when he stopped her. “Close the door. Lock it.”
May shook her head. “We’re at work now. You’re the boss again.”
“That’s right. I am. Lock the door.”
His words came out more gruffly than he’d intended, but he hadn’t liked waking up to find her gone. Her absence, coupled with the way they’d left things unfinished last night, bothered him.
She locked the door, then leaned against it. If he weren’t so annoyed, he might have laughed at the fact she thought staying on the other side of the room would change anything he planned to say.
“How’s Linda?”
“They had to push the procedure back. She’s going in late this afternoon and they’ll most likely keep her another night.”
He glanced at his calendar. “My afternoon is clear. Actually, my whole day is.”
She frowned. “No. It’s not. You have several meetings.”
“I shifted things around, moved the meetings back. I’ll head over to the hospital with you.”
Lochlan waited for her to reject the offer. She didn’t disappoint him. “That’s not—”
“Necessary. I know. I’m doing it anyway.”
He walked around his desk, but didn’t cross the room. “You look tired.”
“I fell asleep with the girls.” She rubbed her neck. “Must’ve been at a funny angle. I woke up at three with a stiff neck.”
“Is it okay?”
“It’s nothing.”
“I didn’t hear you leave.”
She shrugged. “Like I said, it was early. We tried to be quiet so we wouldn’t wake you.”
“Grab your things, May. We’re taking the day off.”
May didn’t reply, which proved to him exactly how tired she was. He couldn’t stand seeing her so quiet, so defeated. He cut the distance between them, reaching for her. Drawing her into his arms, he released the breath he didn’t know he was holding when her arms circled his waist, returning his hug.
“I’m here, May. And I’m not going anywhere.”
“I have to…stop…I can’t let you in, Lochlan. I’m sorry, but the way things are now, with my mom and the girls, they need me to be strong.”
“You are strong.”
“I don’t feel that way…when I’m with you. I feel like I’m losing control. I can’t do that.”
Her words were muffled, her cheek pressed to his chest.
“You’ve got it wrong, sweetheart. Relying on me doesn’t make you weak. It means you don’t have to deal with all the pain, all the fears alone. Lean on me. I can help you get through this.”
“I don’t know how to do that! And I shouldn’t. I mean, I know it probably looks like it’s just been a couple of bad days, but the truth is, this is my life. Pretty much around the clock. You’re a nice man and I know you want to help, but the best thing you could do for me is to just let me handle it. Please.”
“No.”
For the first time since she’d entered the room, May showed some spunk. Her temper flashed. “Dammit! You’re not going to win this argument because I’m right. I know what I need. I know what’s best for me.” She stepped away from him, walking halfway across the room before whirling around in a fit of pique. “You just have to believe me when I say I’m fine!”
Her words were out before she could rethink them.
The second they passed her lips, the moment she saw his face, she understood her mistake. He could see it in the way her guard went up and her hands rose in front of her.
“I mean—”
“I know what you mean.” He was standing next to her in an instant, his hand on her back, turning her toward his desk. He propelled her forward.
“What are you—”
Her question was cut off when he pressed between her shoulder blades, bending her over his desk against the flat surface. He followed her down, his chest snug against her back so that he could whisper in her ear.
“I told you what would happen if you lied to me again. Do you remember?”
“Yes.” Her response was more breath than sound.
“I’m going to spank you—and you’re going to come. Then I’m taking you back to my condo, to my bed. To sleep. From the looks of those dark circles under your eyes, you need at least eight weeks’ worth, but you’re going to have to settle for a few hours.”
“My mom’s surgery is at four. I have to get the girls off the bus and go—”
Lochlan stood up and slapped her ass. She was in another skirt. He didn’t bother to lift it for the first few spanks because he didn’t want to take the time. She needed the distraction.
“Lochlan,” she whispered.
He considered the sound of his name on her lips a welcome change to her grocery list of never-ending duties, so he decided it was a good time to raise her skirt and tug her panties down. Her anxiety was starting to fade.
“Open your legs, sweetheart.”
She did as he asked without comment. Progress. Her natural submissiveness was starting to override her strong sense of responsibility. All Lochlan had to do was prove to her she could have both. An outlet for all the worries pressing down on her and someone to help her shoulder her burdens.
He ran his finger along her slit, loving the sexy squeak his touch provoked. His dick was erect, thick, and all he could think about was driving into her, pounding deep and hard.
Lochlan wouldn’t give in to that need. Not here. Not now. The first time he took May was going to be in his bed, and he was going to make love to her. This time was just for her.
He knelt down and ran his tongue along the same path he’d just stroked with his finger.
May jerked and tried to close her legs. “Lochlan!”
He gripped her thighs, holding them apart, as he pressed his tongue inside her, loving the little sounds escaping from her lips. May didn’t hold back her enjoyment. After a few minutes, he stood again, slapping her ass half a dozen times more, until her hands were balled up in fists she beat against the surface of his desk.
“Please. Lochlan. God. I need…something more.”
He shoved two fingers deep, fucking her tight hole roughly with them as she met him blow for glorious blow. Her back arched as she came, but very little sound emerged. It was as if she didn’t have the breath for sound, but the way her body trembled told him exactly how intense the orgasm was.
She went limp as it waned, lying still, draped over his desk. Lochlan had never seen anything more beautiful. A small niggling voice in the back of his head had him questioning her experience, but he ignored it. There would be plenty of time for them to learn about each other’s past relationships later.
He gave her a moment to compose herself before he helped her stand once more. He knelt to pull her panties back up, then draw her skirt down again. May’s hands rested on his shoulders as she tried to steady herself.
&nbs
p; She looked at him, her expression fluctuating between looking at him like he hung the moon and frustration that she’d succumbed to him once more. May wasn’t finished fighting this thing between them.
He didn’t care. He had the rest of his life to wear her down, to convince her that he was worthy of her love and trust. He had to. He couldn’t imagine a life without her.
“Stop looking at me like that,” she said as he rose and smiled at her affectionately.
Apparently, she wasn’t the only one without a poker face. “Like what?”
“Like…” She paused, and it was clear she didn’t want to say what she thought.
“Tell me.”
She shook her head. “I’m tired. Seeing things. Forget it.”
“Come on, May. We’re going home.”
“To your home.”
He didn’t correct her. At some point, she would understand that his home was wherever she was.
Until then, he’d let her make the distinction.
7
When May opened her eyes, it took her a moment to figure out where she was.
“Shit!” She jerked upright, her heart racing when she realized it was late. It was growing dim outside, the sun sitting too low to provide much light. Glancing around, she found a clock on the nightstand.
“Seven-thirty? Oh my God!” She scrambled from the bed, muttering to herself.
“Why would he let me sleep so late? The girls…Mom!” Panic ensued as she hastily threw on her skirt and blouse. She had shed both just before she’d climbed into Lochlan’s bed earlier in the day. Actually, he’d taken them off her, then tucked her in with the sweetest kiss she’d ever received.
Nine hours ago.
May grabbed her shoes and darted out of his room, racing toward the front door.
She pulled up short at the sound of a little girl’s giggle.
Following the sound, she stood in the doorway of the kitchen and tried to make sense of what she was seeing.
Lochlan was chopping salad fixings and tossing them in a bowl. Chloe was standing on a chair in front of the counter, stirring something, while Jenny was sitting at the table, decorating cookies with sprinkles. Her silent niece wasn’t smiling exactly, but there was definitely an air of happiness about her.
“Did you forget to wake me up?”
Lochlan turned and smiled. “She lives,” he said in a scary voice that prompted a giggle from Chloe. “I was just about to come get you. The girls and I almost have dinner ready.”
“We made sgetti,” Chloe chimed in.
“Spaghetti,” May corrected. “I thought we were going to go to the hospital.”
Lochlan walked over. “We were. But you were down for the count, so I called and spoke to your mom briefly on the phone just before her procedure. She said there was no point in coming over simply to sit and wait. Said we could do that just as easily here. I promised we’d all come by later tonight.”
Chloe pointed to Jenny’s creations. “We’re taking Nana cookies to make her feel better.”
May was fairly certain her mother wouldn’t be allowed to eat them tonight, but she would like the gesture. “Those are beautiful, Jenny.”
Her niece actually established eye contact with her, her typical scowl replaced with a more peaceful look. How had Lochlan done that? In just one night?
“Can I talk to you for a second?” May asked Lochlan.
He nodded, leaving instructions for Chloe to come get him when the timer for the garlic bread went off. “And stay away from the hot stove,” he warned.
“Okay.” Chloe hopped off the chair and started putting sprinkles on the cookies with Jenny.
As soon as they were out of earshot of the girls, Lochlan said, “Listen, May. I’m sure you’re upset with me for—”
She cut him off with a kiss. She went up on tiptoe, reached for his face and pressed her lips against his.
If Lochlan was shocked by the impromptu affection, he recovered quickly. His hands found her hips, pulling her flush against him, and he teased her lips open, giving her a preview taste of dinner, a lovely blend of tomatoes and something sweet.
“Have you been sampling the cookies?” she asked when they parted.
He grinned. “Every good cook tastes the food before they serve it. Wise words from Aunt Riley. What was the kiss for?”
“I just wanted to.”
Lochlan chuckled. “I can roll with that.”
“I feel human for the first time in…forever.”
“A few peaceful, uninterrupted hours of sleep can do that for you.”
May considered that and realized he was right. Her current sleeping situation on the couch was less than ideal. For one thing, it was very uncomfortable. Add to that the long workdays and stress, and May couldn’t recall the last night she’d managed to sleep more than three or four restless hours in a row.
“I didn’t even dream. I’m not sure I rolled over.”
Lochlan reached out, tugging the ponytail holder out of her hair.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
“I want to see your hair down.”
She ran her fingers through it. “It probably looks a mess.”
Lochlan lightly pushed her hands away, running his own fingers through her hair, and she recalled the way he had looked at her in his office this morning. At the time, she’d dismissed it, thinking she was misinterpreting it due to her exhaustion.
But he was doing it again. Looking at her like he cared about her, like she mattered to him.
Like he loved her.
No man had ever looked at her like that, so she didn’t have a frame of reference. But she’d seen plenty of romantic movies.
She was wrong. She had to be.
“I need to get it cut, but I haven’t had much time.” Typically, she trimmed it herself, as well as the girls’ and her mother’s.
“It’s beautiful. You should wear it down more often.”
She lifted one shoulder casually, not bothering to explain why she wouldn’t do that. She looked too young when her hair was down and if she was going to succeed at work, she needed to project a more mature persona.
Then something occurred to her. “How did the girls get here?”
“I was waiting for them at your apartment when they got off the bus. We packed bags for the three of you and came back here. I was surprised to find you still sound asleep, so we did homework and started dinner.”
It was all too much. “I’ll never be able to thank you enough for the past few days, Lochlan.”
He smiled. “I don’t need thanks. You’re easy to be nice to.”
“Lochlan,” Chloe called. “The buzzer is going off!”
“Come on,” he said, taking her hand. “Dinnertime. Then we’ll head over to the hospital to check on your mom.”
The next few hours flew by as they did just what Lochlan said. Thanks to the long nap, the delicious dinner, and the nice visit with her mother—who already looked a thousand times better—May felt stronger than she had in months when they returned to Lochlan’s place.
They put the girls to bed together, each reading them a story, and then Lochlan poured them both a glass of red wine as they settled on the couch, enjoying the view of the water from his living room.
May took a sip of the wine and enjoyed the way it warmed her up from the inside out. She rarely drank—okay, she never drank—so she made a mental note to stop after this one or she’d be dancing on the table.
“How’s your neck?” Lochlan asked.
She was confused by his question for a moment, then she recalled this morning. “Oh. It’s okay. I just slept at a funny angle. Worked out the worst of the kinks on the walk home.”
“What did your dad do for a living, May?”
May grinned as she recalled her father. “He worked for UPS, managed one of the offices, until he got sick.”
“Sick?”
May swallowed heavily. “Lung cancer. Smoked when he was younger, but Mom made h
im quit after Jeff was born. He fought it for about two years.”
“How old were you when he passed away?”
“Just shy of nineteen. I’d gotten the job as a receptionist at the tech firm and kept living at home to help pay bills and take care of Dad. My mom…”
“What’s going on with her?”
Lochlan’s words confirmed she wasn’t the only one seeing it. Her mother’s fading memory, her weak grasp on reality.
It also drove home the fact letting him in had shown him too much.
She didn’t reply. Didn’t know how. She hadn’t even admitted what she suspected to herself, continually pushing the dark thoughts away. If she faced it, it would only reinforce how completely alone she really was.
Lochlan stretched his hand out, palm up. She slid hers into it.
“Dementia?” he asked.
She started to pull her hand back, but he clung tight.
“No,” she insisted, unwilling to go there. “She’s just under a lot of stress, and she’s been grieving for years. It’s taking her some time to bounce back, but she will.”
Lochlan didn’t push the point and she was grateful for that. She was grateful for a lot of things, actually.
“Lochlan, this week… Well,” she said with a grin. “It should have sucked, but it didn’t. You and your family have been so amazing. I wish there was some way I could pay all of you back for your kindness.”
May was confused when her comment provoked a frown from him.
“When’s the last time you asked someone for help?”
May took a sip of wine to stall, to give her time to think.
“You can’t remember a time, can you?” he pressed.
She shook her head.
“Why don’t you?”
May shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess I don’t like to bother people with my problems.”
“What about girlfriends?”
“I lost contact with my high school friends after graduation.” She’d actually begun pulling away from them before that. Her father had been ill, so she’d taken on a couple of part-time jobs her senior year and spent every free minute home with him, knowing their days were limited. It was crazy to think she looked back on so many of those days almost fondly, but that time with Dad was precious to her. They talked for hours about everything. It was as if he’d had a lifetime of wisdom, hopes, dreams and fears to impart to her, and she’d soaked it all up like a sponge.
