by Mari Carr
“There’s a sex club in town. I’m taking you there.”
“That’s not funny.”
Lochlan pressed his lips against the back of her head. “And I’m not laughing. There’s nothing wrong with what you need, what you want. This was my fault. For starting this here. I need you in my condo, May. In my bed. It would take years for me to do everything I want to do with you.”
Years.
She started to push up, hoping he’d get the point. He didn’t.
“Wait.” He withdrew until the head of his cock remained, then he slid back in slowly, every inch reigniting the still sensitive flesh. “One more time.”
She didn’t bother to pretend she didn’t want the same. He took her slowly this time, but the impact was just as powerful. It might have been more potent because he paired his soft lovemaking with the most beautiful words she’d ever heard.
“You’re perfect, May. Gorgeous. Smart. You’re everything. I can’t get enough of you. I never will.”
On one last deep thrust, the two of them gave in to the climax. They remained together, leaning over the table for several minutes, long after the sensations had faded.
He was the first to move, rising, then reaching down to help her up. He drew her into his embrace, and once again she was reminded of her nudity, his clothing.
She pulled away, retrieving her clothes. She didn’t resist when he helped her dress again, both of them silent, lost in thought.
Once she was put back to rights, May broke the silence.
“Lochlan,” she said, unlocking the door, leaving the kitchenette. “We can’t keep doing this.”
He nodded, shocking her with his seeming agreement. “You’re right. We keep risking exposure in a less than ideal way. I’m not happy with carrying on this relationship at work exclus—”
“They know about us,” she interrupted, suddenly aware that he didn’t know.
“What?” The two of them were walking through her office to his, but Lochlan pulled up short. “What do you mean?”
“I overheard a couple of conversations on Friday. About us.”
“I see. And you thought the best way to handle it was to leave work early and hide all weekend rather than tell me?”
It was obvious he didn’t think that was right, but she didn’t agree. “I wanted some time to figure out my next move.”
Lochlan shook his head in annoyance and continued into his office. “Our next move.”
Lochlan walked behind his desk, obviously intent on issuing some office-wide proclamation, though she didn’t have a clue if he was going to lift the ban on office romances, or tell everyone to fuck off about his personal life. His stoic expression revealed nothing.
“I’ve already fixed it,” she said, the moment his eyes landed on the letter of resignation.
He picked it up and read it. Then he balled it up and threw it across the room.
“No. You didn’t.”
“Yes. I did. This isn’t a fight you can win, Lochlan. No matter what you say.”
He crossed his arms. “Are you sure about that?”
She nodded, not certain at all.
Especially when he said, “I love you, May.”
Too many things crashed in on May all at once. First and foremost was the realization that she loved him too. She’d fallen madly in love with Lochlan.
But that didn’t change the rest of the realities smashing into them.
Her mother’s dementia. Jenny’s silence. Her place here…as his assistant. The fact that she came with two children in tow.
They stared at each other in silence.
He was waiting to hear those same words from her. But was it crueler to say them and drag him into her messy life? Or to remain silent?
Ultimately, the decision was taken away from her. Phillip walked into the outer office and saw her standing in the doorway.
“Hey, May. Is Lochlan in his office?” he asked as he crossed the room to her.
Once he spotted Lochlan, he walked past her. “Good. You’re here. I…” Phillip looked over his shoulder at her, before he turned back to Lochlan. “I was wondering if you had a minute. I’d like to talk to you. Alone.” He stressed the last word.
May didn’t need a college degree to know what this talk was going to be about. She took a step backwards, out of the office.
“May,” Lochlan called out.
She shook her head, hoping he could see how much she didn’t want him to follow her.
So much for that.
As she continued out of his office, Lochlan was right there, matching her step for step. Once they were out of earshot, she grabbed her purse from her desk.
“Where are you going?” he asked, his voice mercifully lowered.
“Please don’t follow me.”
“May.”
“Please,” she repeated, hating the way her voice broke. There were tears in her eyes. She had to get out of here. Fast. “Please.”
He pulled up short. “Three days.”
“What?” she asked, her eyes on the exit.
“I’m giving you three days to work this out in your head. Then we’re going to talk. About all of it.”
She started to shake her head but his eyes darkened, his jaw clenched. “Three days, May. Not a second longer. Push me on this and I’ll start the conversation right now. Right here.”
“Three days,” she said quickly, simply so she could make good on her escape. Her emotions were off the charts and she needed to leave. Now.
“By the way, you still work here. I’m not accepting that resignation no matter what.”
“Three days,” she repeated in a whisper, uncertain how to reply to assertion.
He nodded just once, and she could see how much it was costing him to let her go. Her heart broke and her eyes filled with too many tears, her vision blurred.
Before they spilled over, she turned and ran, not stopping until she reached the elevator. Part of her feared he’d follow her.
The other part—the stronger part—feared he wouldn’t.
When the doors opened, she rushed inside.
And as they closed behind her, she realized she was alone.
Again.
11
Lochlan sat in his office, stewing, angry. He’d been in this desk chair, in this frame of mind, for the past three days. Ever since May ran out and begged him not to follow her. Then, like an idiot, he’d given her time to think about what he’d told her.
He should have followed her, pushed the issue, told her he loved her over and over until the words sunk into that stubborn, prideful, beautiful head of hers.
Her crumpled letter of resignation lay on his desk. He’d read the fucking thing a thousand times since Monday, and it still pissed him off.
She couldn’t leave AdLoch, leave him.
He wouldn’t let her.
He needed her.
He’d fallen apart in the past seventy-two hours. He’d been late to three important meetings and missed one completely. Two men in the tech department had gotten into a disagreement that had escalated into battle lines drawn, half the office supporting one technician, the rest standing behind the other. Apparently, the situation had been brewing for weeks, but May had found ways for them to keep the peace. Without her presence, there was a backslide, and he didn’t have the energy to even attempt to fix it.
Then he’d spent the better part of yesterday morning looking for a file, only to discover it on top of a stack of folders on May’s desk. Right on top. In plain sight.
He ran a weary hand through his hair, muttering, “Fuck.”
“Language.”
He looked up at the unexpected voice.
“What are you doing here?” Lochlan asked, surprised. Pop Pop didn’t drive, and he hadn’t been in Lochlan’s office in probably close to five years.
“Bubbles is waiting in the car. I asked her to bring me by.”
“Why?”
“I was watching you Sunday at the
football game.”
Lochlan felt guilty. He’d been so wrapped up in his troubles with May, he’d barely said three words to Pop Pop. And he definitely hadn’t noticed Pop Pop watching him.
“Why?” He felt like an idiot, repeating the same silly question. He rose and came around his desk, gesturing toward one of the two chairs on the other side.
Pop Pop sat in one, Lochlan the other.
“It occurred to me how much you’re like your father.”
Lochlan gave him a crooked grin. “That’s hardly earth-shattering news. Mom has called me Dad’s mini-me since I was five.”
“She has, though I never thought the word ‘mini’ fit in regards to you.”
“It’s from a movie.”
“Ah,” Pop Pop said, and it appeared that something he’d never understood suddenly made sense. “I always wondered about that. Well, anyway,” Pop Pop reached out and patted his knee, “the Collins family was a bit of a mess when your mom met your dad in his English classroom.”
“Our family?” Lochlan found that hard to believe. He’d never met a more solid group of people in his life.
Pop Pop grimaced sadly. “I’m afraid so, my boy. There were a lot of rough years for us after Sunday passed. I had seven kids all under the age of eighteen and a business to run. As a result, a lot of the mothering fell to your mom. She took so much onto her young shoulders. And because I was blinded by grief, I let her. Will was the one who saw how badly she was hurting, but you know your mom. That Collins’ stubbornness runs thick in her veins.”
“You don’t have to tell me. My first name is Patrick. Even though we already had a Padraig.”
Pop Pop laughed. “That girl of mine,” he said affectionately. “She is a bird in this world.”
Lochlan had heard that expression from his grandfather countless times, but he didn’t have a clue what it meant.
Before he could ask, Pop Pop continued, “Will fought hard for your mother’s heart, but she didn’t make it easy on him. She was determined to put her family first, to put our needs above her own. Will taught her that she could take care of herself and still be there for us. I have very few regrets in my life. I’ve always tried to live in such a way that I could wake up every morning and respect the man looking back at me in the mirror, but I know I failed your mom in those years after Sunday’s death.”
Lochlan had never heard this story. Had no idea his grandfather had been harboring this guilt. “You wouldn’t have changed my mom’s need to take care of you all, Pop Pop.”
“No. But I should have seen what it was costing her. Will did. And through patience and perseverance, he got through to her. You’ve got bucket loads of perseverance in you, son.”
Lochlan knew where this was going. “It’s the patience part that’s lacking, right?”
Pop Pop leaned back in the chair. “Half the battle is knowing your own weaknesses. May has a lot of responsibilities for one so young. Like your mother, she’s dug in her heels and figured out how to survive. Not live, mind you. Just survive. She needs your patience, your understanding, your love.”
Lochlan sighed. “I told her I loved her. She ran away.”
“Did you follow her?”
Lochlan realized there was a regret he was going to be carrying around for a long time too. He shook his head.
“Take a look at what’s holding her back. Start chiseling away at the list. I saw the way that girl looked at you at your sister’s wedding. You’ve already won her heart. You just have to convince her to share the rest—her pain, her stress, her responsibilities, her fears. Love is the easy part, Lochlan. It’s the rest that makes life interesting.”
“Okay. I’ll do that.”
Pop Pop pushed up from the chair. “Well, I better get back downstairs. Bubbles was eyeing that fancy bakery across the street from your building. If I leave her alone too long, we’ll be toting home three dozen cookies and a mountain of cupcakes.” Pop Pop patted his lean stomach. “Can’t have that or I’ll lose these six-pack abs.”
Lochlan laughed. And then he did something he didn’t do enough. He reached out and hugged his grandfather. “I love you, Pop Pop.”
He was surprised by the strength in the hug Pop Pop returned. “I love you too, son.”
Lochlan walked Pop Pop to the elevator, then he took a deep breath.
Time to start chiseling away at the list.
First on the agenda was work.
Lochlan sent out an email, flagging it urgent, and calling an emergency staff meeting. Within thirty minutes, he had ninety percent of the office employees gathered in the conference room. It was a tight fit, but he wanted to make sure the information relayed came from him—and that it wouldn’t be misunderstood or misconstrued.
“The ban on office romances is lifted.” It was a simple pronouncement and from the grins of at least eighty percent of the faces looking at him, everyone in the joint knew what had prompted his change of heart.
“And I know you all know why. Let me set the record straight on a few things, so the rumors don’t include anything that isn’t the truth. I didn’t hire May. Sally did. I’d never laid eyes on her before her first day on the job here. I’m pretty sure Sally was playing matchmaker.”
A couple women sitting near him laughed and one murmured, “That sounds like something Sally would do.”
“Her scheme to set me up worked. I’m crazy about May and I’m going to propose to her.”
The room—absolutely silent until then—erupted in applause.
He finished up with his hope that she would not only marry him, but continue on as his assistant because he was a mess without her.
That comment got a “hear, hear” from the man who’d had to hold the meeting Lochlan missed on his own. He dismissed everyone back to work, shaking hands with at least a dozen well-wishers. May had clearly misread her colleagues’ feelings in regards to their relationship. He would be sure to set her straight on that.
He’d just returned to his office, ready to tackle the next thing on his list, when his cell phone rang. He picked it up, intent on silencing it, when he saw her name on the screen.
Had someone from the meeting texted her? Told her what he’d said?
“May,” he said, thrilled she was calling him. Maybe she’d come to her senses.
“It’s Chloe.”
Lochlan’s stomach lurched even as he grabbed his car keys.
“What is it, Chloe?”
“Can you come over?”
He was already halfway out the door. “Yes. What’s wrong?”
“Aunt May is in the bathroom and she won’t come out. Nana…” The little girl paused.
“What about Nana?”
“She didn’t remember us.”
Lochlan was confused. “You mean she forgot to get you off the bus?”
“No. She didn’t know who Aunt May was. She kept calling Jenny May and yelling at her for taking a necklace. Jenny started to cry. Then Aunt May started to cry.” From the thick sound of Chloe’s voice, she was fighting her own tears.
May had been denying Linda’s fading grip on reality, unwilling to see the onset of dementia. Not that he blamed her. At twenty-four, May had lost her father and her brother. Admitting her mother’s illness would only drive home that she was losing her as well.
“Is your nana okay now?”
“Yes. She went to her room to take a nap and when she woke up, she was back to normal. But Aunt May got sick, and now she’s in the bathroom and she won’t come out.”
There was true terror in the little girl’s voice, and it sparked an overpowering determination in Lochlan.
He’d tried to be sensitive to May’s fears, but that was over. From this moment on, her family was his. And he took care of what belonged to him.
“I’m on my way, Chloe. You and Jenny hold tight, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Do you want to stay on the phone with me?”
There was a pause. “Yes.”
Lochlan grinned, delighted that at least one Flowers woman would accept his help. “Okay, that’s fine, sweetheart. Why don’t you tell me all about your day? How was school?”
The distraction seemed to help Chloe forget to be scared, but it helped him too. He listened to her voice as he drove across the city, anxious to get to May.
Once he arrived, he hung up, parked the car and sprinted up the three flights of stairs.
The state of May’s door gave him pause.
The dead bolt was hanging loose, and there was a dent in the middle of the door. A big one.
He knocked, and Chloe opened the door, rushing to wrap her arms around his legs. He lifted her up and gave her a hug.
“It’s okay, baby. I’m here.” He looked around the room, noticing it was in worse disarray than normal. The TV was gone. Actually, it looked like quite a few things were missing since the last time.
Jenny was sitting on the couch, her face pale, her hands balled into fists in her lap.
Lochlan carried Chloe over, the two of them sitting down next to Jenny. “Is May still in the bathroom?”
Chloe nodded.
“And your nana?”
“Reading in bed.”
Lochlan sighed. “Okay. Here’s what I need you to do. Go to your room and pack bags. Put in as much as you can carry. We’ll come back for the rest. You two, your nana and Aunt May are coming to live with me.”
Chloe’s face lit up and, much to his surprise, Jenny smiled as well.
“For real?” Chloe asked, squirming off his lap, clearly ready to start boxing up the entire apartment.
“Yep. While you do that, I’m going to go talk to your aunt May, okay?”
Jenny and Chloe raced ahead of him down the hallway, disappearing into their room. Lochlan walked slower, trying to figure out how he could convince May to come with him peacefully.
Even though that wasn’t exactly necessary. He’d toss the stubborn woman over his shoulder and kidnap her if he had to. She wasn’t staying another night in this shithole. For God’s sake, not only wasn’t there security on the building, now she had no dead bolt on her own front door.
He knocked on the bathroom door. There was no reply, so he tried the knob, surprised to find it unlocked.
