She frowned. “Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”
He had her in his arms, gripping her to him painfully hard, his hand holding the back of her head to his chest.
“Elijah…”
“Had you not already taken more lashes than any female I’ve ever met in my life, I’d paddle your ass, Brie.”
“That sounds promising.”
Rolling her over, he was suddenly inside her and she gasped in pleasure laced with a bit of pain as her tender back met cool sheets. His fist tightened in her hair and he pulled her head back to look at her eyes.
Hard, fast, he drove his cock into her until she was on the cusp of an orgasm that threatened any hope of control.
“M-may I come?”
“No.” His hand wrapped around the knee of her good leg, raising it to his hip and granting him deeper access as she tightened around him. “Look at me, Brie.”
Not realizing her eyes had closed, she opened them and stared into glowing green.
“You will never do that again. Do you understand?”
She wanted to come but she couldn’t agree to something that wasn’t true. “I can’t promise that.”
“Tell me why. Do not come, Brie.”
Struggling to find coherent words as he stole her ability to think, she managed, “I-I want Harper to know peace.”
“He has to find his own way. No matter how beautiful your heart is, you can’t endanger yourself for him.”
Reaching up with shaking hands, she held his face. “You do it every day.” He stumbled in his thrusts. “I’m useless as a fighter. I have one weapon. You can’t tell me not to use it to protect men I love, Elijah. It’s one command I won’t obey.”
He fucked her harder and Brie fought not to come as her muscles and skin drew taut.
Staring into his eyes, she forced her mind to focus on the striations of green. To breathe through the want, to deny the need by diverting her mind.
“Brie!” She snapped back to the moment and her body tried to defy her. Elijah wrapped his arms around her and whispered, “Come for me, Brie.”
The climax tore through her and he held her tight as he sealed them together and pumped himself dry. When she could breathe, she stared into his face with a smile.
“You hypnotize yourself.” She frowned. “You withdraw from the surface of your mind. Why did you learn such a skill?”
She blushed. “I’ve always had a high tolerance for pain, even when I was little. I’d never had surgery until I…I had my breast reduction. I was afraid to get addicted to the pain medication so I’d take half and practice meditation.”
“You meditate often?”
“I can’t always draw. Sometimes I need to but circumstances don’t allow it. I have to calm my mind to focus.” One side of her mouth lifted. “I have to appear normal.” He smiled. “It helped when I was…suspended the first time. It allowed me to separate the sensations so I could take everything in.”
“It heightened it for you. You liked the way it made you feel.” She nodded. “Then you had the accident.”
Nodding, she inhaled carefully. “When I came out of the hospital, it felt like someone was raking a fucking saw against my bones. I was losing my mind with it, leaning more and more on the pain meds so I could function. I felt weak.”
“You aren’t weak, Brie.”
“I couldn’t control the pain itself so I worked harder to disconnect from it when it got too bad.”
Harper’s voice beside them made her turn her head. “It’s why you knew not to risk sex before the stress tests.” He reached out to smooth his fingers through her hair. “You knew you’d compartmentalize any pain and we’d hurt you accidentally.”
Brie nodded. “It was hard to wait.”
He stared at her for a long time. “You gave too much.”
“No, Harper. Each time Elijah brought me up, I took stock of my body, knew I was fine, and that I could handle more.”
“What if he hadn’t brought you up?”
“I trusted him to know. Elijah sees both of us clearly. He watches for signs, ensures we’re never in danger. It’s why you trust him with your life. It’s why I trust him with mine.”
Turning her face, she grinned at the man watching her intently. “I must ask that you remove your weight from my bladder before this becomes the kind of kink I’m not into…”
Laughing, he pulled away and stood on the floor in a single smooth movement. He held out his hand.
She whispered, “That was…really hot.” He laughed and helped her up. She walked to the bathroom without looking back.
The heat of their eyes on her ass didn’t need confirmation.
* * *
Elijah met Harper’s eyes as he stepped into the pants he’d worn the night before and settled them over his hips. “Are you alright?”
“Better than I’ve been in too many years.”
Getting off the bed, Harper half-dressed as well and stood in front of him, his silver eyes clear, the familiar tension eased at last.
Lifting his hand, he stroked through black hair and smiled when his thick lashes lowered in response. “You used to crave touch as much as Brie. I let you become too isolated when you married Danielle. I let you hurt yourself. I failed you, Harper.”
Opening his eyes, he shook his head. “I didn’t give you a choice. I didn’t know how to get back. I didn’t know how to tell you I was sorry for choosing a life I didn’t even want over what we’ve always been.” Lifting one broad shoulder, he whispered, “I pushed you away, changed too much. I regret every woman I forced you to endure in the years since.”
“Had we not shared them, we might not have seen her.”
Harper lifted his hands and cupped his face. “That never would have happened. She’s the piece we didn’t know we were missing.”
Claiming the mouth of the only man he’d ever loved, Elijah hoped it was the start of a new chapter between them.
A chance to begin again and get it right.
He sensed rather than heard Brie’s return but he didn’t break the kiss. Gently leading Harper into trusting her was critical to melding all of who they were individually into the whole.
Something new and different.
Raising his face, he turned and met the eyes of a woman who touched every part of who he was as a man.
Harper tensed.
Her freshly scrubbed body was flushed, her nipples furled, her thighs pressed together. Elijah loved how easy it was to read her response to stimulus.
“I could come watching you kiss.” She placed her hand over her belly and said breathlessly, “I realize it’ll take time to have trust and ease with me here but I’d like to officially say yes and more please. You know, whenever you’re ready to show me all the hot man on hot man action. Sign me up.”
A rough exhale and the tension drained from the man in his arms. Hugging him tightly, Elijah wrapped his arm around his shoulders and turned them to face Brie.
The fingers of her drawing hand tapped her upper thigh. She zoned out for a minute and shook her head to clear it.
“May I politely request a protein shake or field ration of some sort? I just realized I haven’t eaten anything or hydrated at all.”
“Holy fuck, Gabriella. I’m sorry. Let me call downstairs.”
Moving to break from Elijah’s hold, he held him back. Meeting his eyes, he took a deep breath and kissed him lightly.
As he passed Brie, she said, “Hey…”
Harper stopped in confusion and she wrapped her arms around him, lifting her face. One arm went around her. The other lifted so his fingers could smooth along her neck.
“Elijah was trying to fuck me into behaving.” With a wink, she whispered, “As if that’s going to work. I’m not going to tell him though because I’d like him to keep trying.”
The laugh he gave her made Elijah feel amazing.
“I was supposed to wait for you. I was distracted. As a result of my outrageous orgasm, I didn’t
say good morning to you properly.”
“You fucking earned it.”
“May I have a kiss pretty please, Harper?”
“Your oddness is growing on me.” Then he grabbed the hair at the back of her head and kissed her roughly. By the time he lifted away, she was boneless.
“Forget the food.” She rubbed her fingertips over his nipple and trailed down to cup his cock through the sleep pants. “Breakfast of champions.”
“You’re so fucking tempting, Gabriella.”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing. I know you’ll both be gone in a day or two. Let me overdose now to hold me over.”
“Brie.” She turned her head, her hair everywhere, and stared at Elijah. “You need to eat.”
“I can eat after.” Staring into his eyes, she pushed the fabric over Harper’s hips. Resting her face on his chest, she stroked her palms over his ass. “He didn’t get to come, Elijah.”
He walked to them, stroking his hand over her hair. “You have no survival instincts, Brie.” Smiling, he wrapped his arm around the other man and told her, “Harper is familiar with waiting for those things that mean more.”
She whimpered.
“At this rate, we’ll have you addicted by sundown.”
“Too late.”
He bent to kiss her. The way she opened to him, sliding one arm around his back, giving everything she was to the kiss while he hugged the two people he loved…it blew his mind.
When he lifted away, she followed. Eyes fluttering open, she rested her head on Harper’s chest.
“You have to eat, Brie.”
“Semen has lots of nutrients.” Neither of them could hold back their laughter. “It really does though.”
“Not enough.”
He picked her up and her legs wrapped around him, one arm around his neck. She held Harper as well. Puckering her lips, she stared at him until he smiled and kissed her again.
“You have a gorgeous mouth, Gabriella.”
“You should…”
“You are eating first, Brie. Cock doesn’t count.” Slapping her sharply on her bare ass, Elijah shook his head and she grinned.
Walking through the sanctuary and his bedroom, he set her on one of the leather barstools in his kitchen.
Chin in her hands, she watched him move around the kitchen. “Elijah?” He glanced over his shoulder. “Your ass looks amazing in those pants. I kind of want to bite it.”
He made her a bowl of microwave noodles, setting it in front of her with a bottle of water.
Frowning, she took a bite. “Don’t be offended but…this stuff is disgusting. I’m eating it so I get naked play time but I’ll make the next meal.”
He grinned. “I don’t cook.”
“Thank god you microwave like a motherfucker so you haven’t starved.” Tilting her head, she choked down another couple of bites. “I could show you a couple of easy recipes. I know you’re not home much but…you have to feed that fine body.”
While she watched, he drank a packet of liquid nutritional supplement that distance runners used. He had many similar products in his cupboards.
She shivered. “That’s not food. That’s like…slime. Please let me help you.” Laughing, he walked around the counter and tilted her chin up for a kiss. She wrinkled her nose. “Water first.”
“Do you know what fluids we’ve shared, Brie?”
“That’s organic.” She lifted a brow. “The stuff you just…swallowed? Slurped? I’m not even sure. That’s a totally different animal. We shouldn’t cross-contaminate.”
She always managed to make him laugh. He winked and downed most of her bottled water. Then he kissed her smiling lips before walking to a phone on the wall and ordering the poor thing some real food from the kitchen on the first floor.
“Stop eating that before your system freaks out.” He didn’t have to tell her twice.
Twenty minutes later, three stacked and covered plates were delivered through an old dumbwaiter system that had been fully upgraded.
She looked like she was in heaven as she ate stuffed chicken breast and salad. He and Harper finished first and he returned their plates to the tiny box that was designed small for a reason.
Harper stood behind her stool, lightly stroking his fingertips over the pinked skin of her back.
“For such a delicate woman, you took a lot of pain, Gabriella. I’ve never seen anything like it with another female submissive.” Sliding his palm along her shoulder, he asked, “Had you ever dabbled before Winters?”
“No. I barely touched myself before I met them.” She cleared her throat carefully. “I didn’t understand my own body. I didn’t know…much at all.” Shrugging, she added, “I was ashamed about what I did know because I’d been taught to feel that way.”
The admission floored Elijah and he saw Harper was similarly surprised. He sent up a silent prayer of thanks to Winters.
She finished what she could, they ate the rest, and he took her plate.
Wiping her mouth daintily, she drank her water and smiled. “Thanks. Better than the post-apocalypse food.” He winked and watched her mind working. “You always mention Hudson, ask about him specifically. Natalia was as important to me sexually. In some ways, definitely more.”
“Why?” Harper was genuinely interested.
“She was the first woman I’d ever met who embraced her sexuality openly and without apology. She was confident. When I asked her questions, she answered them and didn’t make me feel bad that I didn’t know or dirty for wanting to know.”
Elijah hated that she’d clearly encountered those attitudes before meeting her friends. “You should never feel ashamed of wanting to know things, Brie.”
She shook her head. “It’s different for women and I know you know that. When I was in high school, I was tormented constantly about my breasts. Every degrading thing boys could come up with, I heard them. Yet, I was almost suspended when I argued with my health teacher for discussing male ejaculation but not female climax.”
Shrugging, she took a deep breath. “I accepted the way it was. Then I met Natalia. She was the first woman to look me in the eye without blushing and say words like cock and pussy. The first person to discuss topics like trust, orgasms, and need in a context that fit who I’d crushed down all my life.”
Nodding, Elijah admitted, “I’ve never been so grateful for her existence.”
It made her smile. “I’m glad you didn’t get her. She belongs with Hudson.”
“Agreed.”
“With him, she’s completely submissive. Stunning in her stillness and calm. As the focus, she’s so beautiful to watch.” Her eyes met his. “I learned from watching her.”
Elijah planted his palms wide on the countertop. “You’re an outstanding pupil, Brie.” He meant it.
“Thank you.” She blushed. “She taught me many things.”
Harper lowered slowly onto the stool next to her. His face was filled with curiosity. “She was different with you. She was dominant with you.”
She met his eyes. “Yes.” Elijah watched her choose her words. “When I was the focus, Hudson was in control, but she sort of…facilitated at specific points. I know she was generally dominant with women.”
It explained her knowledge of switching with Harper.
“Brie.” Her eyes lifted. “You’re comfortable in any role as long as you feel you’re giving something to the interaction.”
“Does it bother you that I’m submissive, Gabriella?”
Turning her head sharply, she frowned. “Hell no. If I was bothered by your natural tendencies, that would imply that for us to be alike is a bad thing. Do you think that’s bad?”
He shook his head with a small smile and Elijah knew Brie’s mind would never bore him.
Her hands cupped his face and Harper stared at her with incredible focus. “I find you strong, brilliant, and beautiful. I don’t give a damn which end of the whip you’re on or whether you’re giving or receiving cock. None of
that matters. You have to know it doesn’t matter before you understand how I feel about you, Harper.”
That she’d said it so plainly stunned them both.
“I’m afraid, Gabriella.”
“I know. I’ll never push and you might never feel comfortable. You’ve had your relationship forever. It fascinates me, stimulates me, to think of you and Elijah together but I don’t have to be included if you don’t want me to be.”
“It would hurt you. Eventually, it would hurt you to be left out of that aspect of our lives.”
Elijah watched her face and how she considered her answer.
“Maybe it would…long-term. We’ll have to see. If I get to that point, I’ll talk to you about it.”
There was no doubt in his mind that Brie didn’t expect to be part of their lives for long. Harper’s eyes locked with Elijah’s and he saw that he understood what she wasn’t saying.
Gathering her in his arms, Harper pulled Brie into his lap. Her entire body wrapped around him and her pleasure in the simple attention was awe-inspiring.
“I like you, Gabriella. I trust you more than any woman.” He rubbed her back.
“Thank you.”
“Twenty years ago, I wanted to be with Elijah publicly. Hudson and Natalia witnessed an interaction between us and for weeks after, the stress of how he’d use the information weighed on me. Though he never did, I didn’t forget the way I felt. Most aren’t as honorable.”
“The ones that aren’t can fuck off. I’ll never give you any reason to regret your trust.” Her smile was gentle as she traced his face. “No matter what happens, Harper. No matter what, I love you and nothing would make me betray you.”
There was a long silence. Elijah straightened slowly and watched Harper process what she was telling them.
“If you’re ever in danger, if you have to make a choice between withholding details about me and saving your life, save your life, Gabriella. Elijah guards my back.”
“Who guards his?” She shook her head and Elijah thought his heart would stop with the implication. “I’d never take the risk. I’d rather die knowing you still have each other.”
The loving and stubborn expression on her face told him they wouldn’t get anywhere talking to Brie about appropriate responses during crisis situations.
Radiance Page 26
