by Karol, Helen
She walked to the door intercom to let her escort for the evening up and was surprised to see a much younger man than she expected in the camera feed. He also looked faintly familiar. The cameras were old so a bit blurry. It was hard to make out all his features. She would be able to recognize him better when he arrived at the door. She pressed the intercom.
“Is that you, Julian?”
“Yes.” His voice sounded a bit tight, awkwardness at meeting someone new, probably.
“Come on up.” She pressed the door release.
She put on her evening sandals, collected her bag and opened the door. She was surprised to see he was just rounding the steps leading to her apartment on the second floor. He hadn’t taken the elevator and was bounding up them with purpose. Was it her imagination or…was he annoyed? He certainly had a dark expression on his face and his hazel, or were they green, eyes were flashing a bit. He took the last step and moved towards her. He seemed about to say something, but then just stopped in his tracks in front of her.
She stopped herself.
Wow!
Chapter Six
Bossy
Wow! Wow!
Again. Wow!
Standing in front of her was the most beautiful, drop-dead gorgeous man she had ever seen or probably would ever see. Movie stars paled in comparison. Looking up, she noted that his eyes were green, a startling emerald green, nothing as indiscriminate as hazel. He stood at least 6’2” or 6’3” and weighed in at around 210lbs. He was lean, but he was built. The material of his traditional black tuxedo jacket stretched across his broad shoulders and she couldn’t help notice the muscles in his long legs rippled as he moved swiftly to reach her. He clearly worked out and moved with an animal grace that was mesmerizing. He was an Adonis.
That was it! She remembered now. Why he was familiar.
A quick flash of his detached figure at the window, the sun streaming in through the glass behind him. Julian. Julian West. The tabloids and ezines were always full of him and even more so since his wife died. Julian West, too handsome, toy boy of the late Susanna Ainsley.
Like hell. This beautiful man was no boy.
She had first seen him over eighteen months ago at another event with her father. He had been standing apart at the window poignantly removed from the crowd. His presence drew her gaze to him, entrancing her. Later she overheard a conversation that his wife was dying and his mood became clear. Now, here he was, the young widower of a screen legend. A Greek god come to earth, standing at her apartment door.
Standing and starting to look a little pissed at her, maybe even a lot pissed. She got the distinct impression she had done something to displease him. She was amazed at how that disturbed her. She found herself wanting to please him. And he was standing very close to her, looking more pissed and a bit scary as the minutes passed. She thought he was annoyed as he rounded the stairs, but when he saw her, his expression changed and he looked at her a little dazedly for a few minutes, like she was the last thing he expected to see. She even thought that maybe he was admiring her. If so, the admiration was fleeting because now he was definitely pissed.
He undid the lower button of his expertly cut tuxedo jacket, slipped his hands into his pants pockets and looked down at her with narrowed eyes. He made her feel tiny, which considering Claire was 5’6” and always wore at least four inch heels and tonight was wearing five inch ones, was not that easy. He definitely had presence.
“Did you know what I was supposed to look like before you looked in the intercom?” He growled.
“No.” She shook her head, even more mesmerized. No one had ever growled at her before. It sounded sexy, scary, but sexy.
“So, when you asked if I was Julian, I could have been anyone for all you knew.”
“Ye… Oh!” The reason he was pissed sinking in.
“Yes, you gave me the name you were expecting, instead of waiting for me to say it. Not very safe. You are a beautiful, young woman, living alone. You should be more careful.”
Claire felt she should probably get all feminist and be pissed at him for his high-handedness. Except he was right, it was a stupid move. Besides, he just told her she was beautiful. Plus he was gorgeous. She decided he could be as high-handed as he liked.
She looked up at him and adopted the penitent look that always worked with her father and others. Not that he made her feel remotely like her father had made her feel.
“Sorry. I’ll try to be more careful.”
He relaxed and grinned at her, but there was still some steel in his look and tone. “Don’t try that with me. It might have worked on your adoring father, but I was married to an award-winning actress. I know when I am being played. Don’t try to be more careful. Be more careful. Do not do that again. Understood?”
Oh. My. God. No way did he make her feel the way her father did when he corrected her. Or when anyone else lectured her. Not her teacher. Not her prof at college. No. Not. At. All. She never felt all wobbly legged or hot when anyone else set her straight. Who knew being told off could be such a turn on? Who knew she liked bossy? Bossy with class and a touch of humour, but bossy just the same.
She closed the door to her apartment and watched as he checked the lock and then placed his hand at the small of her back to lead her to the elevator.
“You always this bossy?” She asked testing the waters with a sideways, sexy little smile.
“With naughty girls? Yes.” His smile was sardonic and he raised his eyebrow.
Oh no, he found her attempts at flirting amusing. Not a turn on, just amusing. All Claire’s insecurities kicked in. Now, she felt foolish. Trying to ignore the tightening in her pelvis, she decided she should take his teasing advice.
“Be a good girl and I‘ll lighten up.”
Girl. Of course, he thought of you as just a girl.
He had been married to a mature woman, one of the most alluring film stars in Hollywood. Plus, he was a Greek god. What was she thinking, trying to flirt with him? He probably thought of her as just a kid. She dropped her eyes from his and bit her lip in embarrassment, cursing the light complexion she knew would fail to hide the blush spreading across her neck and face.
Christ. What was he thinking, embarrassing the kid like that, watching her bite her lip and the quick blush. No wonder she couldn’t look at him. She probably thought he was a pervert. He was so used to Susanna getting hot when he did her bossy, he forgot not all women were into that kind of thing. Especially not the sheltered, nineteen year old daughter of a friend of a friend – because Liam Fitzpatrick would have sheltered his daughter. A-nineteen year old girl who Andrea had entrusted to him. Hell, you fell into your dominant lecture mode and then used the naughty girl code on her. At least you didn’t get totally out of line and threaten her with a spanking.
He did feel he could be forgiven for forgetting she was so young and responding to her as a man to a woman. She was stunning. She didn’t look like a kid. He had taken the stairs two at a time when she pulled that stunt with the intercom. He could have been anyone and she let slip his name and buzzed him up without any real sense of safety. He expected to see a young girl and had planned to give her a lecture on good security practices for real, not slip in to scene speak.
But when he reached the top of the stairs, he was rendered speechless for a moment. With her shimmering dress, sylvan figure and height, and those wild, cascading golden tresses, she looked like a Viking goddess. She was the complete opposite of Susanna, but he hadn’t been so moved by the sight of a woman since the day he met his tiny, voluptuous, dark-haired wife.
Susanna. A sudden memory of doing her bossy in great detail invaded him and he was surprised by an instant hard on. So many of his recent memories of her were when she was frail and delicate from her illness that the memories of their rough and tumble, sizzling hot sex life had almost escaped him. Man, how could he have forgotten? How could he even think of another woman when just the fading scent of Susanna still held him fast? No ma
tter how stunning, Claire Fitzpatrick was a kid and he was going to make sure he didn’t forget that again.
Chapter Seven
Moments
Julian and Claire didn’t look at each other as the elevator travelled down. They were both silent, caught up in their own turbulent thoughts, each inwardly blaming themselves for overstepping self-imposed, mistaken boundaries. The elevator reached the ground floor and they walked out of the building into the cool night air a slight awkwardness between them as he ushered her towards his car.
When they reached the green Audi, he opened the passenger door for her. He was left-handed and he noticed her gaze went to his ring finger and the pale strip of skin. He rubbed it again, feeling exposed. Most people would have looked away, but she surprised him by asking him softly.
“Did you love her a lot?”
It was in that moment that any awkwardness between them slipped easily away. She really was still an innocent, but Julian knew she possessed a depth of understanding and courage he needed around him. No-one asked him that. No-one even approached it, got anywhere near it. Not once since her death had he been able to acknowledge the simple fact of loving her. Everyone wanted him to get over loving her, to move past that fact. His jaw tightened and he answered, grateful to be able to voice his feelings.
“Yes, very much.”
That was the only time she ever asked about Susanna, but somehow that moment created a profound bond. He knew he could call her again to attend another function and there would be no misconceptions, no expectations, only genuine, unconditional acceptance and affection.
Slowly, quietly, sweetly over three years their bond built and a deep friendship grew. Landmarks in their lives were shared: her college graduation, his best–selling collections and awards, her first job. They dated other people, took an unimportant lover here and there, but they were the constant in each other’s lives, the safe, platonic, significant other.
In the solidness of their friendship, they both forgot the feeling of those first passionate moments in front of Claire’s apartment door. The feeling stayed where it suited them both – safe, quiet and undisturbed.
Until one sparkling afternoon on the beach in front of Julian’s house, when she came running out of the water to flop beside him. Lying down, she tossed away her long mane of hair and, handing him some suntan lotion, asked him to put it on her back. Then, without so much as a trace of self-consciousness or coquetry, she un-hooked the back of her bikini to avoid strap marks.
The sexuality of the moment thrust him back three years to when he took the stairs two at a time to scold a young girl and was stopped in his tracks by the primal beauty of a virgin goddess with cascading golden locks who was all woman. The woman had retreated into the blushes of the girl who became his friend, but now she was emerging full force and he and the plan were well and truly screwed.
He was thankful she kept her eyes closed throughout the procedure and afterwards he went for a swim to counteract the effect she was having on him. At the time, he told himself it was simply a natural reaction to a beautiful woman and didn't mean anything other than Claire had matured. But as weeks passed, he knew it was more than that - he was in love with her.
It wasn't the intense emotion Susanna had elicited, but it was love.
She started to fill his thoughts more and more. He started to imagine a future and he began to notice how his sketches took on her appearance, how much his designs had changed over the past year. Their cut now flattered her tall, full figure and the colour and fabrics were attuned to the cool tones of her pristine beauty.
Uneasily, he began to realise how insidiously love for her was infecting him. It was then he began to fear what that could mean; how vulnerable he could become. It was then he was truly grateful for the plan. He had carefully nurtured and developed the plan with great success in the past three years.
Claire played an important role in that success. Her platonic friendship allowed him to bank his emotions, to stay clear of intensity or emotional intimacy on an erotic level. He had learned to guard his emotions carefully, to create a life with a safe structure that could not be toppled by emotions as futile as passionate, intense love.
Been there. Done that. No longer part of the plan.
Chapter Eight
Coming Home
When Claire was offered the job with Choices lifestyle magazine in New York, he let her go. Encouraged her. From that distance, the plan worked well for another three years. They kept in touch, emails, texts, a weekly Skype. As a fashion designer, he made trips to New York and they would have lunch together, dinner if she wasn't seeing someone. Overall, her move to New York had seemed to provide him with the distance he needed for the plan to work. He could avoid how he felt when he only actually saw her a few times a year and only had to deal with her digital presence.
A presence that far too often left him rattled, restless, rampant.
On the nights of their weekly Skype, he would be mesmerised by the sight of her lips, the swell of her breasts, the cascade of her long golden hair as she shifted it from side to side, absently, while animatedly sharing her news. Sometimes he had to fake their conversation because he lost track of what she was saying as he imagined crushing her against him, taking her lush lips with his own, darting and invading with his tongue inside her sweet mouth and other sweet places.
Most weeks he just took a cold shower determined to stick to his decision not to cross the line of friendship into the minefield of the love and depth of emotion that he knew could be so dangerous. He couldn’t risk that. He couldn’t go there again. But some nights…some nights, he allowed himself the luxury of imagining her in his bed, her naked softness pliant and arching in his arms. He would slowly undress her, leaving her hair to the last, taking the pins out one by one. He could almost feel its silkiness falling around them both, see the golden waves spilling across his pillow, hear her voice heavy with desire as his name flowed tremulously from her lips swollen and throbbing with his kisses.
Those nights he put away from him, kept them separate from reality and the simple workings of the plan
Then things changed. Their contact lessened. The weekly calls dwindling until it was a couple of months since their last Skype. He had struggled with missing her, telling himself it was for the best. Desperately trying not to give in to the jealous imaginings of who was keeping her too busy to keep in touch. When she called claiming to be the bearer of good news, he prepared himself for the inevitable.
Only it wasn't.
She wasn't calling to announce impending marriage; she was coming back to L.A. Choices was branching out and starting a local edition in Los Angeles. She would be returning, expecting to fall back into the intimacy and security of the close friendship they had built over the years. Back to the easy camaraderie of shared meals, movie nights, walks on the beach. That they would slip back into the easy attendance of the galas, charity events and benefits that their mutual, undemanding escort made so simple. To her, he was still the nice guy she could turn to for advice and comfort – the uncomplicated friend she could count on.
Before she left for New York, three years ago, he fooled her, playing the platonic friend when, in fact, he wanted nothing more than to take her as his lover and more, much more. He couldn’t do that; he had to stay guarded, not let those emotions overtake him.
But now she would be back. Here around him. Everyday.
So. How. Long.
How long could he hold out? How long could he stay guarded?
Just how long could he stick to the plan?
If you enjoyed meeting Julian and Claire and want to find out how long Julian sticks to the plan read…
Available at Amazon
In the US http://www.amazon.com/Chances-Choices-ebook/dp/B00BIPUGM8/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1369588302&sr=1-1&keywords=chances+and+choices
In the UK http://www.amazon.co.uk/Chances-Choices-ebook/dp/B00BIPUGM8/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1378903
094&sr=1-1&keywords=chances+and+choices
Helen’s Goodread Page
http://www.goodreads.com/author/dashboard
Upcoming Titles by Helen Karol
Intimate Knowledge - An Erotic Romantic Suspense - How long can vice-cop, Raisa Gordon resist Leo Gold her undercover target? Especially when he has Intimate Knowledge about all her taboo desires.
Coming Soon to Amazon in Weekly Installments
Her Keeper - An Erotic Romance - Sara Michaels has never forgiven Rick Andrews for humiliating her in her freshman week in college, but now eight years later he has the power to lay down the law in a way she can't escape.
Coming Soon to Amazon in Weekly Installments
