by Hamel, B. B.
“That’s true, but they’re going to do what’s best for them. Listening to me and going through with this plan is the right play.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“I’m not,” I said, shaking my head. I shifted my weight and got off the chair, kneeling down next to her. I leaned over and took her hand, my body against hers, and she stared into my eyes. I saw the fear and the uncertainty, and it was astonishing that she’d come this far at all. So many other people would’ve given up already, but she was still in it and still wanted to fight. “But I know this is a risk worth taking.”
“I wish I had an ounce of your courage. I’m afraid all the time.”
“Being brave isn’t about not having fear, it’s about controlling what you can control, and doing what needs to be done despite everything else. That’s what having courage means, and trust me, you have it in spades.”
She gave me a tight smile. “I don’t know what you see in me.”
I reached out and touched her cheek. “I wish you could see what I see.” I reached out and pulled her towel down, away from her breasts, and further, down her stomach, letting it fall off and to the side. She wore a black bikini and she shifted slightly, leaning toward me, as my fingers trailed down her chest, along the swell of her breast, and down toward her belly button. I turned and found the first pink scar, the bullet wound still puckered and ugly. She flinched away, but I held her there, and leaned forward to kiss her neck.
“Do you know how many people could survive something like this?” I asked her softly, afraid of scaring her off.
“It had nothing to do with me. I got lucky.”
“That’s not true and you know it.” I massaged the bullet scar and kissed her neck again. “Most people would’ve curled up and hid away from the world.”
“That’s what I did.”
“No, you didn’t. You’re here, and you’re still going. I think you mistake worry for fear.”
“Ren,” she whispered, half-moan, and hearing my name on her lips like that drove me crazy.
“You have to realize how beautiful this makes you.” My fingers continued to caress her scar, then moved down her body, toward the scar on her leg, then back up, trailing along her beautiful smooth skin until I found the scar on her pelvis. “You’re a survivor, and you’re even more gorgeous in your flaws.”
“I thought you’re supposed to tell me that I’m perfect.” She smiled a little, head tilted toward me.
I bit her bottom lip. “That’d be a lie. Nobody’s perfect and I’m not about to pretend like you’re an exception. But these scars make you special. They make you stronger. I wish you could understand that.”
“I hate them. They’re not who I am.”
“That’s where you’re wrong.” I slid my fingers along her skin again, down between her legs. She let out a soft moan as I slowly rolled them along her gorgeous wet spot, damp from the pool, but pulsing and warm with desire. “They’re exactly who you are. All your scars. All your imperfections. It all adds up to what we’ve become.”
“Where are your scars then? Your imperfections?”
I smirked and leaned back. I pulled off my shirt and tossed it aside, then pointed to a small scar on my shoulder. “Stabbed when I was ten.” I showed her another. “Shot with a .22 rifle here when I was fifteen.” Another, and another, and another. “Bar fight, glass bottle, cigarette burn. I’ve got hundreds of scars and I earned every one of them.”
I kissed her then, pinning her back against the chair, and my hand moved back between her legs. She rolled her hips furtively and I slipped aside her bikini bottoms. She was soaking as I ran my fingers along her slit and found her hard little bud, rolling around it, making her moan into my kiss. She grabbed my hair and tugged me closer, than touched my chest with her palms, finding the scars I’d pointed out with her fingertips.
She explored my body like that while I explored hers. I teased her, faster, slower, faster again, and kissed her neck, then her chest and her breasts. I took off her top and rolled my tongue around a hard, pink nipple while I made her wetter, soaking, wild with my touch. She kissed my neck as I buried my fingers in her, then my chest, then my scars, one after the other, until I couldn’t take it anymore.
I moved back, taking off my pants as she wiggled out of her bikini bottoms. I tumbled onto the chair, grabbing her hips to pull her along. She straddled me, sliding her palm along my hard shaft, as I wrapped her hair around one fist and held it tight while I kissed her and teased her wet spot with my other hand. And as she moaned into my kiss, her warm, gorgeous body above mine, I took her as close as I could, letting the tension build between us, the tension that had been growing for days and days and days, and finally took her hips and pushed her back, making her moan as she slid along my shaft and took me, all of me, deep inside her body.
She held me there for a moment and we kissed, bodies warm and close and perfect. I felt her, all of her, and I wanted more.
She began to work her hips and I was in heaven.
Her skin tasted like salt and chlorine from sweat and pool water. I didn’t care—I wanted to feast on her, every inch of her, all the spots I’d been dreaming of since first seeing her what felt like forever ago. I bit her lip and kissed her throat and tightened my grip on her hair before grabbing her ass. My fingers dimpled her ample flesh and god, she was gorgeous, every little moan, every little gasp driving me wild. My heart pulsed to the rhythm of her hips, and I felt like we sank into each other, so lost and deep in it, drowning in the pleasure of each other.
She went faster, hips working. I rolled a tongue around her pink nipples, hands teasing them, before spanking her tight ass, before pulling her hair. I growled my pleasure and made her moan as she went faster again, faster and faster, making the chair rock, the legs clatter against the pool tile. I couldn’t take it anymore, couldn’t stand another second of being passive, and pulled her off me. I rolled her over and spread her legs wide before feasting, then sinking myself inside, stretching her out and moaning my joy.
Her eyes rolled back as I took her like that. I kissed her, pinning her down on the chair, and it felt like the whole room rattled for us. The pool itself sang, like pleasure sang in my mind, like my blood sang in my ears. I continued to have her, listening to her breathe, and her whispers like sweet music, and every perfect muscle, every gorgeous swell of her skin, her breasts shaking with my thrusts, her pink nipples hard and gorgeous, the line of her collarbone, the pink in her lips, it all made me forget the world, forget anything else, and for a few incredible minutes, or maybe hours, or maybe years—there was only her.
I kept going, moving faster, grinding into her, listening to her moans. “Come on, gorgeous girl,” I whispered, biting her earlobe. “I want to hear you say my name.”
“Ren,” she gasped.
“I love the taste of you, you know that? Ever since we first met, I keep dreaming about your body. Do you know what I want from you?”
“I think so,” she moaned, back arching.
“Tell me then.”
“You want to fuck me.”
I took her hands and pinned them above her head. I bit her nipples and made her gasp. “I’m already fucking you.”
“What more do you want?”
I thrust deep and stared into her eyes. “I want to take your body and make it feel something you’ve never experienced before. I want you lying on my bed, sweating, moaning, half-blind from pleasure, and I want only one word coming from your lips, over and over again: more, more, more. Can you say that for me?”
“More,” she moaned.
“Again.”
“More.”
I fucked her faster, deeper, staring into her eyes, keeping her pinned down beneath me. “Beg for more. Tell me you’re mine.”
“More, Ren,” she gasped. “I’m yours. All of me, I’m yours, for whatever you want. God, you feel so good, I want it all. More, please, more.”
We moved together in wild rhythm and her m
oaning pleas and my growled grunts of pleasure mingled into one mass as I continued to take her again, again, and I felt her come then, felt her orgasm rip through her body in waves of incredible gorgeous beauty. I watched it pass over her face, her back arching, her body out of control, and I took her, fucked her through it, before my own orgasm took me over. I came between her legs, deep inside of her, and we floated there together in that perfect moment, those sweet seconds where we were deep inside the orgasm together, locked in that incredible space, before plummeting back to earth.
I stayed there, kissing her, still inside and still hard. “Fuck,” I whispered. “I’ve been needing that.”
“Me too.” She smiled at me, ran her fingers through my hair. “Really, really badly.”
I kissed her again before sliding myself to the side. She curled up against me, and we barely fit together on the chair, but I didn’t care. I held her tight, her body smooth and firm and fit in the space I left perfectly.
“For a little while, let’s just stay here,” I whispered, brushing her hair aside to kiss her ear.
“I’d like that.”
“Good.” I kissed her again and held her, and the quiet fell back down around us, only the hum of the pool pumps and footsteps from upstairs and her breathing, and that was all I needed.
19
Amber
Ren sat behind the wheel of a borrowed black SUV and stared out through the windshield. The street was quiet. Sparse cars parked along the curbs, and the weak yellow glow from the street lamps gave us barely enough light to see. We were up north in a neighborhood I didn’t know, parked outside of a pair of rundown abandoned rowhomes next to a patch of overgrown grass and weeds.
“They should be here already,” I said, looking at the time. It was a few minutes past three, and we were supposed to meet at two thirty.
“They’ll show.”
“What if they don’t?”
“They will.”
I slouched down in my seat. “I still think this is a bad idea.”
“Too late for that now,” he said softly.
He was right about that. The day before, he’d set up the meeting with Felix, and Dante had given him the combination, though not without a long speech about being safe and not being stupid and not double-crossing him and all that stuff. Through it all, Ren seemed cool as anything, like he made deals like that all the time.
I let my mind roam back to that afternoon by the pool, a few days ago now. I could still feel him between my legs, his hands on my skin, the way he touched my scars with a strange reverence, the way he looked at me like he never wanted to close his eyes, the pleasure as we came together. I could hear his whispers in my ear still and taste him on my lips. I wanted to stay in that memory forever, because I wasn’t sure we’d ever get another chance at something like that, at a perfect moment, uncomplicated and right.
“Up ahead.” His voice pulled me back into the present. “Car parking.”
I squinted and saw it. White sedan, lights off. “Think it’s them?”
“Doubt anyone else is driving around without their lights.” He leaned over me and popped open the glove box. Inside was a small, black handgun. I stared as he took it out, checked the magazine, then slid it into the back of his waistband. “Stay in here.”
“No way. I’m coming.”
“Amber—”
I jumped out of the car before he could argue. He’d made me promise to stay behind during the actual deal, but I wasn’t about to let him leave me out of this, not when it affected me so much.
He got out and followed me down the sidewalk. I felt his hand on my arm, but he didn’t squeeze, and he didn’t try to stop me.
“I wish you’d listen at least once in your life,” he said, sounding resigned.
I smiled up at him. “And I wish you knew me well enough to know I wasn’t going to keep that promise.”
He rolled his eyes then gazed straight ahead, expression sober.
The doors of the sedan opened and two men stepped out. The driver was Felix, and the passenger was Lukas, the same men as before. They walked into the center of the street then stopped, Felix’s arms crossed over his chest.
Ren stepped off the curb and slowly approached. Lukas hung back toward the car, leaning up against its hood and picking at his nails with a bored expression.
“Glad you could make it,” Ren said.
“Almost didn’t,” Felix said. “I thought about staying home, since you couldn’t have possibly come through this fast.”
“I guess my reputation isn’t as good as I thought then.” Ren gave him a winning smile, and I felt my stomach do flips.
There was a short silence as Felix stared at him. The man looked gaunt in the weak overhead light. He wore tight jeans and a black leather jacket, his hands shoved into the pockets. That made me nervous—I wanted to see that he wasn’t holding something. Ren didn’t seem bothered either way, and I did my best to mimic his gentle calm, even though I felt like I might pass out at any second.
“What do you have for me?” Felix finally asked.
“I have one code.”
Felix snorted. “I wanted them all.”
“I managed to get you one.”
“Come back when you have more.” He turned to leave.
“I’m not getting more anytime soon.”
Felix hesitated and turned back. A look of frustration flickered over his face but he pulled his hands from his pocket and ran his fingers through his dark hair.
“And why’s that?”
“This one was in Vincent’s desk drawer, but it was a bitch to break in there and I almost got caught. I’m not risking it again until they’re not paying attention to me again.”
Felix smirked. “Vincent’s laid up in the hospital, or didn’t you know that?”
“Of course I know. Dante’s been watching me like a goddamn hawk. That man doesn’t trust me.”
Another short silence. Felix looked toward me and tilted his head. “Is this guy full of shit or what?”
“He’s telling the truth,” I said, and I heard the quaver in my voice. I hoped Felix would see it as nerves, and not as a lie.
“I’m sure you think he is,” he said, shaking his head. “But this man’s a professional thief. He bends the truth for a living.”
“In this case, I’m thinking about keeping my ass alive,” Ren said. “I got no reason to turn on you. I’m not a part of this bullshit war.”
“True enough,” Felix said, frowning thoughtfully.
“All I want is to get the fuck out of this city without having to look over my shoulder every day.” Ren gestured over at me. “And I want her to come with me.”
Felix walked forward suddenly, closing the gap between the two men. I took a step back but Ren didn’t move. He was an inch taller than Felix, but Felix was muscular and built like a tank.
“You sure that’s what you really want?” Felix asked, voice soft. “You sure about that, Ren? This is your city. You’re something of a celebrity around here. You leave Philly and you’re a nobody.”
“I’m a nobody that’s alive. I care more about breathing for another day than I do about some bullshit notoriety.”
Felix snorted. “Living is overrated if you’re just passing time.”
“Good one. Where’d you read that? Hallmark card?”
Felix sneered and held out a hand. “Give me the code.”
“Promise you’ll cover our asses if we leave tonight.”
“The deal was for all the codes. This is only one.”
“Felix,” Ren said, sounding annoyed. “This is the best you’re going to get right now.”
“Then I’ll be patient. I’m a patient man, did you know that?”
They stood in silence. Ren looked frustrated as hell, and I genuinely couldn’t tell if it was put on or real, which was probably a good thing. I was willing to bet he didn’t really know, either.
“Fine,” Ren said, pulling a crumpled piece of paper from
his pocket and shoving it into Felix’s hand. But he didn’t let go right away. “I want more time.”
“If this pans out, you can have more time.”
“I mean it. Another couple weeks. Stop attacking the Leone family.”
“Can’t do that.” Felix narrowed his eyes. “Why would you care either way?”
“The more heat you put on them, the hotter it is around the house.”
“I’m distracting Dante from watching you every second of the day.” Felix yanked the paper from Ren’s hand, glanced at it, then shoved it into his back pocket. “You got two more weeks, but I’m not stopping shit.”
“Then you’re making my life impossible.”
“I’ll slow down. That’s the best you’ll get from me. No big attacks, no more hits on the top brass.”
Ren grunted once and nodded. “Fine. That’s a deal.”
“Two weeks, and I want the rest of the codes. You hear me? You get me those codes, and I’ll make sure you get out of the city without any trouble. I’ll make damn sure the Leone family doesn’t come after you.”
“I’ll get the codes.”
“I’m sure you will.” Felix grinned then looked at me and winked. “You’ve got a real winner here, girly. I hope you know that.” He turned, walked to the car, and got inside.
Lukas moved away from the hood and sneered at me before getting behind the wheel and driving off. We moved onto the sidewalk and watched them pull down the street, their headlights popping back on and illuminating the crumbling, broken-down building lining the silent block.
“That went well,” Ren said.
I looked at him and thought I might puke. My hands were trembling, and he laughed a giddy, heady laugh. I couldn’t resist joining in. We stood there and laughed for a second before he pulled me against him and kissed me, lips and tongue and hands on my hips. We held that for a few moments before he walked back to the car, my hand trailing in his.
“What’s the chance they’ll take the bait?” I asked as he started the engine.
“They’ll take it,” he said. “Sometime in the next two weeks. We’ll have that place crawling with guys from here on out. Whenever they show—we’ll be ready.”
