She offered a quick nod. “And I make him sponge cakes.” She rolled her eyes. “I can’t let him starve, Levi.”
A grin tugged his lips as he contemplated Old Sam and the three who looked after him. Since Levi’s return, he’d heard all about Esther’s death and how Annie, Rachel, and Rebecca made sure he was well taken care of.
“Sam has it pretty good, Annie.”
“You think?”
“You bake for him and Rachel listens to his stories. Of course, Rebecca’s married now . . .”
“Oh, but she still takes him flowers.”
He threw her an amused smile. “You see what I mean? Sam must be the envy of every guy in town.”
“Speaking of Rebecca, it seems she and William are happy.”
“I’m glad.”
“William’s father was really sick for a while; William went to Indiana to help with his cabinet business.”
Levi offered a nod. “I know bits and pieces of the story from talking with William at the wedding. That he even left the Amish community for a while.” Levi couldn’t imagine Annie’s strict Amish parents allowing her that opportunity. Not even during Rumspringa.
Annie nodded. “Lizzie and I were talking about it yesterday. Rebecca’s parents’ approval didn’t come easy. The bishop finally offered his blessing under the condition that she accomplish certain goals while she was away. And in the end . . .” Annie threw her hands to the sky and shrugged. “It actually proved to be a good thing. For both of them.”
Levi laughed. He could hardly imagine that, but he knew it was true from his conversation with William.
“William was at odds with his dad because he moved out-of-state to marry outside the faith.”
Levi let out a low whistle.
Annie gave a quick nod. “It was a shock to everyone. And then Daniel left William behind . . .”
Levi shook his head before offering a wry smile. “It couldn’t have been all bad, though. His auntie Sarah’s the best. Still, I imagine William’s relationship with Daniel was pretty rocky after that.”
For long moments, Levi considered the shunning and the big move his family had made to an English lifestyle. “At least my dad took me with him. You’re right when you said that things could always be worse. Can you imagine life without your own father?”
Annie gave a firm shake of her head. A long, comfortable silence passed while they leaned back on their elbows. In front of them, cascades of water rolled over the path of big pebbles, eventually falling into the creek. The scene was so serene, beautiful, and this time with Annie was precious. He never wanted it to end.
Years ago, moments like this had been plentiful. His stomach tied in knots when he thought of leaving.
Annie’s voice was edged with a combination of persistence and desperation. “Levi, I wish there was some way your daddy could reconcile with the Amish.” She put up a defensive hand. “I know what you’re going to say. That I’m the eternal optimist. That I always want a happy ending. But, Levi, I keep telling you, we make our own endings. Many times it’s within our power to make changes to our paths. Don’t you think?”
Levi gave a slow, sad shake of his head. “Annie, too many years have gone by and too much has happened. And I’m not sure that’s a bad thing. To be honest, I can’t imagine my dad wanting to be Amish again. And in his demanding work, I don’t know how he’d make it without owning and driving a truck. Not to mention electricity.”
“Old Sam has his own business and he does fine without it.”
When the sun moved across the sky, the temperature dropped a notch. Levi knew the day would soon be over and this might be his last time with Annie. The thought prompted an ache in his chest.
Her voice broke his reverie. “Let’s get back to you. Tell me about your house. What you do these days.”
He offered a casual shrug. “What d’you want to know?”
“Details.” Her demand was followed by a shy grin.
“We live in the country. Our place is bricked in front; it’s two stories, with four bedrooms. My room’s upstairs; the folks sleep on the ground level.” He hesitated. “According to Mom, the kitchen is a cook’s dream.”
Annie pressed her hands together and let out a wistful sigh. “Why? Is it huge?”
“Yup, but the way it’s designed is unique. Mom helped Dad and me draw up the plans.” He paused. “In the middle of the kitchen is what we call an island.” Before she could get in a question, he went on, “With a stove and a chopping block. And what’s really cool is that stainless-steel pots and pans hang from the ceiling. The roof’s high, but it dips in that particular spot. I guess you could say it’s space friendly.”
“What about the walls?”
“Cream-colored; the ceiling is a light shade of turquoise.”
“Cabinets?”
“Cherry. With matching dining room table and chairs.”
“Sounds beautiful.”
“I should have thought to take pictures on my cell phone. So you could see for yourself.”
Annie’s voice softened with disappointment. “So really, you did get that new house you always dreamed of.”
Levi hesitated, then said, “No. It’s not at Pebble Creek.” He thought of the future. “I still dream of building here for my own family.” A long uncomfortable silence ensued as he considered his own words. When he glanced at her, Annie’s expression was unreadable. He hoped his own thoughts were as well.
What he’d said was true. Yeah, he wanted a family. He looked forward to designing a house with his dad, a place for him, his wife, and kids.
He thought of Annie. She, too, would marry someday. The Amish usually wed young, so he was certain it would most likely happen in the next few years. A hard, uncomfortable lump formed in his throat that he tried to swallow. To his dismay, it remained.
They had easily picked up where they’d left off. As if they’d never been separated. But . . . he regarded her from the corner of his eye. As he studied her, his heart picked up to a fast, unsteady beat. He chastised himself, but he was a guy. And during their years apart, Annie had turned into an extremely beautiful woman. He couldn’t deny what was right in front of him, and there was no way to ignore it.
There was nothing ostentatious about Annie; there didn’t have to be. Her loveliness was simple, quiet, subtle. Of course Amish girls didn’t wear makeup. Obviously she wasn’t obsessed with fashion. Simplicity was one of her most attractive traits. Along with her high cheekbones. And her large blue eyes with long dark lashes. And her soft, silky-looking skin. The only thing he would change about her was her hairstyle; he’d love to see her blond strands loose. He wondered how long they were. If there were natural highlights.
He stopped himself. Thinking of Annie as anything other than a friend was foolish. He couldn’t marry her. They lived two different lives, and he was sure she planned to join the Amish church. Though she hadn’t joined yet . . . Maybe he could convince her to become English.
Levi noticed her watching him. If she could read his mind, his cheeks would be as red as the bright shade on the American flag. Good thing she couldn’t.
“How about the yard? Is it large? Fenced? Do you own cattle? Horses?” As she leaned forward, impatience edged her voice. “Come on! You can’t leave me hanging!”
He shifted to a more comfortable position. His feelings for her were still strong, but she had changed. And so had he. They were no longer carefree children. They were adults. Has she thought of marrying someone in the Amish community? That question nagged at him.
He tried to push it out of his mind by addressing her questions. “We have a car. Cattle?” He shook his head. “However, we do have hens. To be honest, the transition from Amish to English wasn’t all that difficult. If only restarting Dad’s business had been as easy.”
“I imagine. But he’s such a talented builder. There was never a doubt in my mind that he would succeed. But what he had to go through . . . I mean all of you,” she corrected hers
elf. “Over the years, I’ve always kept you in my prayers.”
After that admission he gently caressed her hand and squeezed it. But touching her like this was crossing the line. She allowed it. There was something between them . . . he knew it and guessed she did, too. Yet he wasn’t sure what the strong, unchartered emotion was. “Thank you, Annie. That means a lot.” He paused. “I kept you and your family in mine, too.”
“Yeah?”
“Yup.”
“What did you pray?”
His lips curved into a mischievous grin when their eyes locked. The hazy flecks in hers lulled him in to another world. Mesmerized, he stared into her deep Mediterranean blue eyes and lost his train of thought. The gorgeous color captivated him even more than usual as the sun lightened the hue to the most mesmerizing shade he’d ever seen. When she raised her chin a notch, he suddenly realized she was waiting for an answer, so he quickly looked away to think more clearly.
“I prayed for God to protect you.” He grinned, adding, “And for you not to get into trouble for your directness.”
They shared a laugh.
She lowered her voice. “Sometimes I think I must disappoint my parents.”
“Why?”
“’Cause they always talk about how Elizabeth is so perfect.” Annie sighed and added, “She is.”
“You know what I really like about you?”
She shook her head.
“That you’re independent.”
Excitement entered her voice. “Jah?”
He nodded.
“But I wish I were more like Elizabeth and the other Amish girls my age. They don’t question things the way I do. Lizzie is perfectly happy doing what she’s expected to do.”
He cocked his head. “Is that a good thing?”
“I think so.” She did a helpless roll of her eyes. “The rules don’t leave much room for questions. Everything is pretty cut and dried. But sometimes I don’t know if I can live up to everyone’s expectations.”
Her honest admission surprised him. “Annie, don’t try so hard.”
“But I have to, Levi. I can’t ignore it ’cause it won’t be long before I have to decide whether to join the church. But when I think of the strict standard everyone expects, sometimes I wonder . . .”
“What?”
“If I measure up.”
He smiled with understanding. “But you were raised that way.”
“That doesn’t mean I’ve made everyone happy. It seems like Mamma is always waiting on me to go somewhere. I’m not even a good cook. Except for sponge cakes.”
His lips curved with amusement. “You always ran a little late when I came by to walk you to school. But in the scheme of things, that’s minor.”
“I’ve tried to be more prompt. And I’m doing my best to become a better cook.”
He cleared his throat. “There’s something I’d like to do before I head back home.” He paused to clear his throat. “Remember that trip to Six Flags I promised you years ago?”
* * *
That night, in slow, uncertain motions, Levi folded a pair of socks and packed them into his small suitcase. He glanced around the four corners of his cousin’s bedroom and pressed his lips together in deep thought. His time here was ending. It was hard to believe the wedding had been only four days ago. Standing, he pressed his finger against his chin and glanced out of the window.
As he took in the view in front of him, vivid memories raced through his mind. His life used to be simple, like this. He stepped closer to the window and glimpsed visions of yesterday. The large red barn where he’d helped stack bales of hay. Cattle. Chickens running through the yard. Tall oak trees that shaded the house in the summertime. He swallowed an emotional knot and for the first time realized that not everything here was bad. In fact, there were certain parts of this place he wished he could put in his travel bag and take with him. Like Annie.
That thought stopped him. He shook his head and silently scolded himself for allowing his mind to go there again. He had suffered every bit as much as his dad. In the process of leaving town, he’d lost the person most dear to him: Annie. He’d taken for granted she would always be there for him. And now that he’d found her again, he didn’t want to let her go.
Sounds of dishes clinking floated up the stairs. His aunt kept such a clean kitchen; dirty plates didn’t stay in the sink long. He looked around himself; there wasn’t a trace of dust. Of course there wasn’t much to dust around in this austere room.
He looked down at his hand, lingering on the suitcase handle as he revisited yesterday’s conversation. There was more that troubled him than leaving Annie. Not sure what it was, he thought of all they had discussed.
“Please don’t go.”
He closed his eyes. Her heartfelt words had etched themselves into his heart. But he’d get over this. He had to. The moment he left, he could never look back.
* * *
That same evening, Annie’s mind also was on her conversation with Levi. Her chest ached at the thought of never seeing him again.
Her mother’s voice startled her. “Annie? Did you hear what I said?” Mamma motioned to a kitchen chair and continued churning.
Annie took the seat and faced her role model. The enticing smell of creamy homemade butter filled Annie’s nostrils. Mamma was about the only person around who still made her own. Everyone else bought it. But Mamma loved doing it. And she took pride in the end result. And that was fine with Annie. Even though she wasn’t fond of cattle, at least something good came from them.
“You want to talk about him?”
Annie was quick to detect concern in her mother’s soft voice. “What?”
Her mother sighed and continued her task. “Levi Miller.” Her voice softened to an understanding tone.
Annie looked down at the wood floor. When she lifted her eyes, she met her mother’s inquisitive gaze.
“There’s really not much to say, Mamma. The shunning forced Levi’s family to move away and start all over.” She exhaled and raised her voice. “There’s nothing that can ever change that.” She lifted her shoulders. “Why did something so devastating have to happen? I still don’t understand.”
The expression in her mother’s eyes was a combination of uncertainty and disappointment. “Like it or not, in any faith, there are standards, and if a person chooses not to follow them, he must be prepared for discipline.”
“I know; I just wish things could be different. Obviously the Millers aren’t coming back to our church, but why not mend the fence? Nothing good came out of what happened.” She threw her hands in the air. “Life is too short.”
“Annie, there have been others in the community who were shunned but chose to stay here. I can’t help it that Levi’s father didn’t want to do that.” She paused to push out a deep breath. “I know how you don’t like drama. That you want everybody happy. But, honey, life isn’t perfect. You know that. Even you are always saying that this isn’t a perfect world.”
Annie waited for her mother to continue.
“We can’t fight every battle and win. There are some things you just have to accept.” Mamma’s lips lifted into a gentle smile.
“I’m aware you like Levi. Your friendship with the boy is beautiful. When you went to school together, why, you never stopped talking about him. And I’m not denying what a fine child he was. I’ll never forget how hard he worked, baling hay for your uncle. Never once heard him complain about the heat. Your dad and I thought . . .” She stopped.
Annie leaned closer so her shoes touched the tall, heavy butter churn. She cocked her head in curiosity. “What did you and dad think?”
With a careless shrug of her shoulders, Mamma lifted a finger to push back a lone black hair that had escaped her covering. “We thought he would make a good husband for you.” Before Annie could respond, her mother went on. “Of course . . . that was years ago. And there are other nice young men, honey. Did you notice how David Stutzman made it a point to ta
lk to you after the wedding dinner?” She sweetened her voice. “I think he likes you, Annie.”
Annie frowned.
Mamma rested a firm hand on her hip. “What’s wrong with the Stutzman boy? Now, don’t you go writing him off. He’s hardworking; he’d make a good husband.” Mamma used her most defensive tone.
“Mamma, not tonight.” Annie waved a hand. “I don’t want to hear any more about him. He’s nice and all, but I can’t imagine spending the rest of my life with someone so . . .”
Her mother lifted a disappointed brow. “So what?”
Annie giggled. “Boring.”
“Annie, what do you think marriage is?” To Annie’s chagrin, Mamma’s tone sharpened.
Annie shrugged.
“Well, I’ll tell you. It’s supporting each other. Annie, he’s from a good, honest family. Don’t forget that love should be based on respect more than emotion. Of course it’s wonderful to have both. But as you get older, you’ll see that lending a helping hand or taking care of children speaks true love. What’s more important than that?”
Annie contemplated the question. “Nothing. Levi’s a hard worker.” Tired of defending her opinion, she forced a reassuring smile to her face and threw an affectionate arm around the person she loved most in the world. “Don’t worry. If I marry, he’ll be Amish.”
She started up the stairs. When she turned, she was quick to note concern lines around her mother’s eyes. “Mamma, what have I done to make you doubt me?”
There was no response.
Annie took another step before turning back to glance at her mother again. “Mamma, if God wants me to marry, He’ll give me a husband.”
Mamma’s expression finally relaxed. She smiled a little and turned back to her work. “He will. And whoever it is will have to hold his own around you.”
Chapter Six
Two days later Annie was almost jumping with excitement as they arrived at Six Flags. The decade-old dream of hers and Levi’s was about to come true.
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