“Uh-huh. I love everything about today. I don’t ever want it to end.”
“Me neither.”
To their right, a roller coaster soared up and down the tracks. Screams floated through the park. Above, a giant balloon hovered. Annie wondered if the person inside it enjoyed the view as much as she did.
Before today, she’d never been on a ride. It wasn’t so much the thrill she was enjoying; it was the grand view. She was in a moving lookout tower.
It amazed her that God had this kind of front-row seat of the entire universe. And He saw everything, good and bad. What was even more incredible was that He knew what each person was going to do before they did it. The knowledge that God had so much power, and that He was full of love and forgiveness, was overwhelming.
When the ride ended, Levi helped her out of the seat. “Where to next?”
She eyed him with uncertainty. “It’s your call.”
He raised a curious brow. “You like pirates?”
She giggled.
“I’ll take that as a yes. Pirate’s Flight, here we come!”
Several rides later, they shared a bench on the grounds. Annie stretched her legs and sighed happily. “Oh, Levi, this is everything I dreamed it would be. Even better.”
“Because you’re English for the day . . .”
She grinned at the way his brows scrunched when he said the words.
“We didn’t bring sunblock,” he said, eyeing her forehead.
“I’ll be okay. I suppose you don’t have to worry about burning.”
“Fortunately not. I inherited my dad’s dark complexion. I tan easily.”
She waited for him to continue.
“As you know, I spend summers outside, working on houses. Roofing. Guttering. Painting. Siding. Even landscaping. All that stuff.”
“Which do you enjoy most?”
Levi pressed his lips together in a straight line. “I’ve never really thought about it. But if I had to choose, it would be laying stonework above fireplaces.”
She considered the admission. “That requires creativity. It’s a talent.”
They got up at the same time and automatically proceeded to the next ride. As they waited in the queue, he replied, “Now that you mention it, yeah. I love choosing where to place the rocks so when the project’s finished, it looks like a finished puzzle. And that each stone was meant to go where it is. Of course there’s nothing as satisfying as admiring the finished product. There’s something so rewarding about knowing someone’s going to enjoy the thought and planning that went into building a place.”
A loud cry startled them. They both looked to the side, where a kid had fallen and scraped his knee. The child’s father quickly picked him up while the mother pulled a Band-Aid from her oversize bag.
A smile lifted the corners of Annie’s lips. “I’m really proud of you and what you’ve become. And working with your dad? It’s great that you two get along so well. It must be every boy’s dream to partner with his father. You think that’ll happen?”
He shrugged. “It already has. I mean, we do every project together. Some things I’m faster at, like masonry stuff. Dad’s better at laying drywall. Overall, when we work together, everything seems to get done pretty seamlessly. I’m making great strides at creating the overall picture from scratch. But no one does it like Dad.”
They stepped forward as the line ahead of them became shorter. He looked down before continuing. “As far as planning the entire idea on paper and coming up with a price, he’s the pro. Dad bids for the materials. And it isn’t as easy as it looks. There’s way more to it than meets the eye. But he’s taught me everything I know.”
She took in his proud expression. “When we were kids, you drew me pictures of the houses you wanted to build. And it’s interesting that you had the very notion of putting up your own house when you were this high.” She raised her hand above her waist to estimate.
He nodded.
“Now here you are, Levi, helping your dad build beautiful mansions. I would love to see your work sometime.”
They were quiet for a moment. When Levi spoke, emotion edged his voice. “Someday, Annie, I want to show you my world. Drive you around in Dad’s truck so you can see what I do.”
She didn’t respond. With all her heart she wanted to take him up on his offer, but at the same time, she knew it would never happen. What was she going to do? Take a horse and buggy to Morton? She doubted horses were permitted on the interstate. Besides, she was fully aware of the limits on her relationship with the wonderful man beside her. They were of marrying age. Because of that, she had to let him go. Her lips slipped a notch in disappointment.
As they moved forward in the line, he raised his voice to be heard above the screaming and yelling. “Dad’s proud to have me with him.”
“Did he tell you that?”
Levi shook his head. “No, but it shows. I see it in his eyes. Hear it in his voice. He loves when we’re riding in the truck together. In fact, I think he’s living his dream by us working together.” Levi cleared his throat. “But I have my own dream, Annie.”
She waited.
“Building my own home. A two-story.” He looked off in the distance. When he spoke again, he moved his hands in front of him, as if making a visual of his thought. “I can see the circular stairwell with a beautiful dark oak banister. A double-sided gas fireplace. Granite countertops throughout the kitchen. And large gray stones above the fireplace.”
Annie swished her hand to chase away a fly that had appeared in front of her. She wasn’t sure why, but her heart had sunk a couple of notches. She silently scolded herself. This was her best friend. She should be happy he had such goals. And she was. She forced a smile. What made her sad was that she wouldn’t be part of his bright, wonderful future. Finally, she was ready to admit it. In the back of her mind she’d known it. But for the first time she officially acknowledged it. Her shoulders sagged. She lowered her chin. After Levi left there would be no more trips to Six Flags. No more conversations about dreams. Still, she was happy to be with him while she could.
He turned closer to tip her chin up with his finger. His voice was edged with concern. “Hey. What’s wrong?”
She remained silent. Maybe it was better not to broach the devastating reality. Then, as usual, she decided on honesty. “I was thinking about our friendship.” She took a deep, desperate breath. “Levi, does it have to end? Just because we live in different towns . . .”
The tan circles around his pupils darkened even more. In fact, the color had changed so drastically, the brown shade was almost black. His tone was more serious than usual as he pushed her chin up another notch with his finger.
When a man motioned to them, they stepped quickly onto a seat. The bar in front of them locked into place. As they started to move up into the air, Levi continued their conversation. “Annie, I’ll always be here for you. No matter that we attend different churches. Or towns. You’ll be my best friend forever. And no one can stop it. Deal?”
Her lips relaxed before lifting into a big smile. “Deal.”
Their gazes were locked in mutual understanding as their bench stopped in midair. But even though they were higher than she’d ever been, Annie’s focus was on what he’d just told her. “Suddenly, everything looks wonderful again. I couldn’t stand the thought of you leaving, but when you put it like that, how can I be disappointed?”
His smile was sympathetic. “I don’t want you to be unhappy. Ever. I’m going to make sure that every moment I spend with you will be a memory I can go to whenever I’m lonely.”
“Do you keep a journal, too?”
He shrugged. “Sort of. But it’s not in writing.” His lips curved mischievously. “That’s to my benefit ’cause no one can find it and read it.”
She sighed as the ride stopped and a man released the bar in front of them. As they stepped out into the main area, he told Annie, “I store all the good times in my mind. They’re like chapter
s in a book.”
She pressed her lips together thoughtfully as their steps slowed. “Okay, Levi. That’s certainly a unique way to keep a journal. What about the bad?”
He shook his head. “Why try to remember them? It’s a waste of time. God didn’t put us on this earth forever. I’m sure He wants us to make the most of our days. And focusing on things you’d rather forget would be a poor investment of time, don’t you think?”
She considered his words and finally nodded. “I like your take on that. And it makes sense. So . . . today: You’ll store it in a mental chapter?”
He offered a quick nod.
“Then I need to know how you’ll decide which chapter. I want you to make sure you remember, so you can find it without any trouble. And I want you to revisit it often. So will I. Of course my journal is in writing. Today is like a good book that I’ll want to read over and over.” She crossed her hands over her chest and breathed in with excitement. “I never want to forget this.”
His eyes sparkled. “How many rides have we been on?”
They counted on their fingers. “Six.”
“That decides it. Today is chapter six.” He winked. “I’ll bookmark it for easy reference.”
She giggled. “I’d never considered life experiences as book chapters before. But they are, really. And you’re right about focusing on the good ones. After all, why on earth would anyone reread a bad story?”
He shrugged. “They wouldn’t. But you keep a journal? A real one?”
She gave careful consideration to his question. It wasn’t as if she didn’t have an answer. It was just that she’d never shared that she kept a journal with anyone. Of course she wasn’t as close to anyone else as she was to Levi. But he’d shared that he kept a mental journal with her, and there was no reason to hide anything from him. In fact, the more she thought about it, the more she realized she very much wanted to talk to him about it.
They walked past more rides, food stands, and games, trying to talk above the noise. She nodded. “Jah. I started when Old Sam gave me a hope chest.”
“He’s really fond of you, isn’t he?”
She gave her eyes a happy roll. “I make sure he has a steady supply of sponge cakes.”
“Obviously he appreciates that.”
She nodded. “I write in my journal every night. But mine’s different from yours. Before I go to bed each night, I like to rethink the things that happened during the day. How they affected me. Sometimes I’m not sure how to see things, but as soon as I study them in writing, everything becomes clear. I jot down what’s important, what I don’t want to forget when I’m old. I don’t even try to ignore something I don’t like; I write about the good and the bad. Things that worry me. What makes me happy. It’s funny, but sometimes I don’t know how I truly feel until the words are on paper.”
“So your journal’s kind of like a therapy.” He paused, then reworded. “It helps you get things straight in your head?”
“Uh-huh. Because life’s about both good and bad. I like it that you just store the happy times. I wish that worked for me. But for some reason I have to walk myself through every moment to figure out how I think it will all play out in the end. And I love storing my thoughts in Old Sam’s beautiful chest. He even engraved a sponge cake recipe on the lid. And the wood smells so good.”
“Like oak?”
She nodded. “I keep the lid open while I write to glance at the recipe and to enjoy the woodsy scent. It’s comforting.”
“So the chest really has a special place in your heart.”
She considered his words before acknowledging their truth with a nod. “It’s a place to store my dreams. And jah, the chest is very special. Just like my thoughts. I don’t share my sentiments with anyone but you and Old Sam. So, in a way, the journal’s kind of a sounding board. You have a thinking place, maybe?”
He darted her an expression that was difficult to read. “Can you keep a secret?”
“You know I can.” Her heart pumped to an excited beat. Levi was going to confide in her again, tell her something he trusted her to keep confidential. That he would tell her something private made her feel important.
“I do have what you would call a ‘thinking place.’”
She waited for him to go on, nearly losing her footing when a couple of kids bumped her. Levi was quick to steady her, and she thanked him. He resumed their conversation. “Like my journal, it’s a place I go in my mind when I want to relax. And when I need to make important decisions.”
“So . . . it’s like me heading to my journal in my hope chest.”
“Yes.” He rolled his shoulders before meeting her gaze.
Her chest rose and fell to an anxious beat as their gazes locked.
Finally, he spoke in what was barely more than a whisper. “It’s Pebble Creek.”
Chapter Seven
Two hours later, as sunlight still warmed the amusement park, Annie and Levi sat down in front of a large water fountain. As the water spewed upward and landed into a small pond, Levi thought about what he’d told Annie. Unexpectedly, a deep sigh of relief escaped his lungs. Finally, he’d admitted it verbally. After many years, he’d finally confessed it out loud.
For some strange reason, he wondered why it had taken this long to acknowledge that Pebble Creek was his mental haven. It didn’t make sense. After all, Pebble Creek was a painful reminder of his father’s shunning. It was a part of his upbringing he’d struggled to put behind him.
He decided to talk more about it with Annie. Maybe she could help him understand how something he wanted to forget had actually become a place he treasured.
“Annie, I know it probably won’t make sense to you . . .”
“What?”
“That Pebble Creek would be the special place I treasure. It doesn’t make sense to me either.”
She frowned. “I’m not sure I understand. Why on earth would it not be? Pebble Creek is the most beautiful spot in the world. The place where we became best friends.”
He shrugged and gave her question more thought. “Because in the whole scheme of things, it’s connected to the shunning. A part of my past I’d rather not remember. It’s complicated. It’s like I can’t forget the shunning without pushing Pebble Creek under the rug. Trust me; I’ve tried. But I haven’t been able to put it behind me.”
Annie’s voice bordered on enthusiasm. “That’s because you really don’t want to.” She hesitated. “Levi, as you said, life’s complicated. Not everything can be black and white. You’ve always had a special place in your heart for that land. No matter how hard you try, there’s no way you can put something behind you that you love with everything you have.”
“But remember what I told you about keeping only good chapters in my mind?”
She nodded. “Maybe you could look at it as a great scene in a bad chapter?”
He sighed. “Pebble Creek is a large part of my life.” His voice was emotional. “It’s where we used to hang out. Where we dreamed up all sorts of stuff we’d do when we got older.”
He hesitated, trying to translate thoughts into words. “For years I’ve struggled to erase Pebble Creek from my memory to help me forget what happened. I mean . . .” He lifted his hands in a helpless gesture. “Let’s face it: That’s a treacherous chapter. A place I never want to revisit.”
She smiled. As he watched the corners of her lips lift, he swallowed a sudden lump in his throat. He wasn’t sure he wanted to deal with this unexpected emotion, but he saw Annie was waiting for him to continue.
She pressed her lips into a thoughtful line. “Levi, I understand why you’re torn.”
“I knew you would. ’Cause you’re a problem solver. So . . . what do I do?”
She squinted down at the ground before leveling his gaze with hers. “I’m not sure. I guess it’s up to you to decide.” The expression in her eyes was hard to read.
“Are you kidding?”
“No. Let me put it this way: Do you rea
lly want to forget everything associated with the shunning?”
He contemplated what she’d said.
While she changed positions, Annie waited before responding until a group of women speaking a different language passed by. “Think about it, Levi. Sure, Pebble Creek is connected to what happened to your dad. But so are other things. Take, for instance, little Jake. And your aunt and uncle.” She lowered her voice. “And me. When you get right down to it, I’m a large part of your past. Do you want to forget me?”
He rolled his eyes. “That’s a no-brainer. Of course not.” A knot that was a combination of happiness and sadness formed in his chest and he placed a gentle hand over the ache to rub it. But, to his chagrin, it wouldn’t go away. Nor would the shunning. How could he escape what bothered him?
Several thoughtful moments passed. Finally, Annie said, “Levi, I understand what you’re saying. But in the end, you’re Levi Miller. So even if I tried, I couldn’t tell you how to cope. All I can do is explain how I would handle it. And why.”
He waved a hand for her to go on. “I’m listening.”
She crossed her legs and rested them against the bench. She clasped her hands together on her lap and flexed her fingers while she turned to better face him. “Remember what I told you about writing everything in my journal? Good and bad? Because exploring the whole picture is the only way I can decide how I feel?”
He nodded.
“When you said you only store good chapters in your mind, I wondered how you did it.”
He started to interrupt, but she stepped in before he could continue.
“To me, it’s impossible. Because life will always be a combination of good and bad. When you get right down to it, there’s no way to have one without the other.” A laugh escaped her. “Have you ever read a book with just good chapters?”
He shook his head.
“Of course, not. Because there aren’t any.” She raised her hands to the bright blue sky in a helpless gesture. “Levi, you can’t skip the bad parts in life.”
He dropped his palms to his thighs. “I didn’t mean I planned to go through life only remembering happy things. What I said was that I preferred to delete what’s bad from my mind. And only remember what’s good.”
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