by Carew, Opal
The blouse was gorgeous, but she had several good, serviceable blouses at home. Pretty lingerie, however, was a different story.
At first, she refused to try any on, until a pretty red and black lace bustier and matching thong caught her eye. She couldn’t resist trying them on. As she studied herself in the mirror—her breasts hiked up high, her long legs bare, the bustier making her body look shapely and sexy—she couldn’t help thinking of Matt. He would love this on her. She could just imagine his blue eyes darkening as he gazed at her.
Heat washed through her. And she would love him taking the lingerie off her.
Oh, God, what was she thinking? Matt wasn’t in her life anymore, and for good reason. If she saw him again, she would avoid him. She did not want to see him again. She did not want to talk to him. The man was dangerous.
She changed into her own clothes again and left the changing room. The saleswoman already had her new purchase in a suit bag hanging behind the counter. Kate looked at the black and red lingerie on the hanger in her hand and waffled for a moment, then drew in a deep breath and laid it on the counter.
“This, too.” She pulled her credit card from her purse.
Matt Pearce wasn’t the only man in the world. She deserved to have something sexy and feminine to wear, just for herself. And who knew? Maybe things would work out between her and that handsome doctor.
“Would you like a pair of black stockings to go with those?” the saleslady asked.
Kate nodded. Why not?
Once the transaction was complete, the saleslady handed her the suit bag, which Kate draped over her arm, and a small black and gray paisley bag with her new undergarments and stockings.
She returned to the flow of intent shoppers, beaming with thoughts of the possibility of meeting a new man. Going out to dinner, maybe seeing a show. After she got things sorted out with her company, she would make a point of ensuring she took time for a social life, and going out and having some fun. And definitely finding a man she could show off this new lingerie to.
With a big smile on her face, she stepped onto the escalator, descending to the second floor where she would slip into the department store at the center of the mall to treat herself to a new nail polish.
“Kate!”
Her breath caught in her throat. That voice!
She swung around and saw what she feared most. Matt Pearce, staring directly at her. He leaned over the third-floor railing overlooking the escalator, only three yards away—straight up.
She gasped and glanced desperately at the press of people in front of her. Panic exploded through her. She pushed past the teenage couple in front of her, excusing herself, then continued past the next few people, ignoring the dirty looks she received along the way. Mutters of discontent behind her made it clear Matt had decided to pursue her. At the bottom of the second floor, she hopped off the escalator and slipped into the throngs of people.
“Kate. Wait!”
He was much too close. Kate hazarded a glance over her shoulder and saw Matt only several yards behind her. His height made him visible over the crowd. Dodging back and forth amid the clumps of people, she headed toward the center of the floor. Would she be able to duck into one of the service hallways, under the obscurity of the crowd? Matt would assume she’d head for the set of stairs and continue that way once he lost sight of her.
Before she could swing around the corner, she felt a tug on her arm. She yelped and stumbled. The bag with her lingerie had caught on an information display as she’d rushed past. A quick yank didn’t free it and a quick glance back told her she didn’t have time to struggle with it, so reluctantly, she let go and forged ahead.
“Kate!”
She actually thought he had reached her when she felt a hand brush against her arm through the sea of people as she surged forward. But it hadn’t been Matt. The mirrors on a nearby wall showed that someone had tried to grab her attention, holding up her precious paisley bag. But Kate couldn’t stop. Matt was closing the distance rapidly.
Suddenly, through the throng, she could see that the mirrors surrounded an elevator only a few steps in front of her. And the doors were closing. She sucked in a lungful of air and raced forward. She made it inside but she’d caused the doors to whoosh open again. Glancing back, she saw Matt burst through the crowd. She jabbed the CLOSE DOOR button.
As though in slow motion, the next moment stretched on forever. Completely helpless, her breathing stopped and every part of her body froze while the opening between the doors shrank as Matt raced toward it. With his arm flung out in front of him, he strained to reach the barrier before it closed between them. Kate’s throat tightened. Anxiety ripped through her at the thought of being trapped in the tiny elevator with no possible escape.
Face-to-face with Matt.
Her heart thumped loudly as the doors finally closed. The elevator began to move downward.
Panting, Kate leaned against the wall, the rasping sound intensely loud in the silent elevator. The other shoppers made a concerted effort to ignore her and she edged toward the doors, ready to flee once they parted.
Until this moment, she’d always hated the layout of this mall. The stairs and escalators were placed at each end of the single straight corridor, while the elevator she rode was in the center. She knew Matt couldn’t dodge his way to a set of stairs and get back in time to catch her, especially through the crowd of Saturday shoppers.
The doors whooshed open and she dashed through the crowd and out the mall’s main door. Within moments, she had reached her car, unlocked it, and hopped inside. As she started the ignition, she had trouble controlling her breathing as she gulped in the frigid January air. As she pulled into the main traffic area of the parking lot, she gasped as she glanced in her rearview mirror and saw Matt tear out the main entrance, scanning the parking lot with an efficient eye. A line of tightly packed traffic in front of her prevented her escape, and she was confined between a concrete pillar and a narrow walkway.
Trapped.
Her heart thundered in her chest. Any second now he’d recognize her car and there’d be no escape. But then Matt marched past the cars behind her and into the parking area.
Not toward her.
The car in front of her started to move. She pressed the accelerator, moving slowly ahead with the traffic. She watched in her side mirror as Matt walked toward a gray van and glanced inside. She giggled nervously as realization struck. Last week, he had seen her driving Ellen’s van. She sucked in a deep breath and released it slowly.
He thought she drove a van.
Five minutes later, she drove onto the highway and sped away from the mall.
If she’d thought it would help, she’d have gone faster.
She frowned. Matt knew she was a creature of habit, and typically went out shopping every Saturday around the same time. She wasn’t sure why he had been at the mall last week, but she was sure this week it was because he’d been watching for her.
But why?
* * *
When Kate arrived at her apartment, she heard the phone ringing. She unlocked the door and rushed inside to snatch up the handset.
“Kate, thank goodness you’re home.” Ellen’s voice on the other end, out of breath, almost frantic, accelerated Kate’s heartbeat. Her fingers flexed tightly around the phone.
“What’s wrong, Ellen?”
“You’re asking me what’s wrong? For heaven’s sake, I saw you racing through Cavendish Mall with that guy right behind you. What the heck was going on?”
She struggled for something to say that would satisfy her friend, but failed miserably. She pressed her hand to her forehead and shoved her hair back. “Ellen, it was nothing.”
“I don’t believe you. Look, I’ll be right over and we’ll talk. It’ll take a few minutes because I’m just leaving the mall now. Is there anything you want me to tell mall security about him?”
“About who?” Kate asked, afraid of Ellen’s answer.
&nb
sp; “The guy who was after you, who else? Come on, Kate. Get with it.”
Kate sank onto a dining room chair. “Why would security—”
“Are you kidding? When I saw you in trouble, I raced straight to get help.”
Oh, God, Ellen hadn’t really reported Matt, had she? Images of Matt being handcuffed and dragged off to jail flared in Kate’s mind.
“Did they … go after him?”
“No, mall security isn’t what it’s cracked up to be. I was a few minutes from calling the real police. If you hadn’t picked up…” She heard her friend take a deep calming breath.
It was just as well. Even if the police had apprehended Matt, he would have had them apologizing profusely for detaining him, and probably offering to help find her. He had a knack for turning every situation to his own advantage.
“Do you know this guy?” Ellen asked.
“Ellen, I just … really don’t want to talk about this.”
“Okay, not over the phone.” Ellen’s frustration was clear.
Kate could imagine her friend’s face puckered into a scowl.
“But I’m coming over there right now so we can talk in person,” Ellen continued.
By the time Ellen rapped on Kate’s door, she’d pulled together a pot of coffee and a plate of chocolate chip cookies, desperate to distract herself from agitated thoughts of Matt.
“So,” Ellen said as she strode into the room, “tell me what that was all about. Who was that guy?”
Kate waved her to a chair and sat across from her. She poured some coffee for both of them from the thermal jug she’d set on the table, then added cream and sugar to her own cup. Ellen sipped her black coffee, watching Kate carefully.
“Remember I told you that just before I moved here, I was in a relationship, but it didn’t work out?”
That’s all she’d told Ellen about it. Just the bare facts.
“Sure. That’s why you never date. I figured you’re still hung up on the guy.”
More like gun-shy, but Kate didn’t confirm or deny Ellen’s assumption.
When Kate didn’t explain any more, Ellen’s eyes widened in astonishment. “You mean that was him?”
At Kate’s confirming nod, Ellen’s expression of astonishment shifted to one of anger. She grabbed the phone from the stand and handed it to Kate. “Call the police,” she commanded. “Right now.”
Kate took the phone and laid it on the table. “I’m not going to do that.”
Ellen sighed in exasperation. “You’re crazy. The man could be dangerous.”
“Ellen, I am not going to call the police.”
“But the way he was chasing you, I don’t think he had a pleasant chat in mind.” Ellen examined Kate’s expression. “Have you seen him hanging around recently?”
Kate pursed her lips. “It doesn’t matter.”
“Uh-huh. The guy’s stalking you.” Then sympathy filled her eyes and her tone softened. “Kate, you really need to call the police.”
Kate’s sense of helplessness flashed to annoyance. “Why would I? They aren’t going to do anything just because an ex-boyfriend pursued me in a mall. And even if they did, Matt is a rich and powerful man. With his resources, he’d be out immediately.” A pounding started in her temples and she pressed her palm against her forehead.
Ellen paused, watching her with concern.
“I know I get a little overzealous sometimes, but…” She reached out and took Kate’s hand. “I’m just worried about you.”
Kate patted their clasped fingers. “I know. Look, I’m sure he just wanted to talk.”
“If you think that, why did you run?”
Kate frowned as her gaze darted to Ellen. What could she possibly say?
“Kate, why don’t you tell me about what happened? For instance, why did you break up with the guy?”
Kate’s hands clenched tightly around her mug as she shook her head.
“Just go back to the beginning and tell me as much as you’re comfortable with,” Ellen said gently. “From the look of you, you really need to talk about it.”
Kate stared into her coffee, wondering if she should. It couldn’t hurt if she was cautious. She took a quick sip of coffee, giving herself time to compose her thoughts, then she placed her mug on the table.
“All right.”
Ellen leaned forward in her chair and nodded. Kate could feel her friend scrutinizing her every movement, which made her more nervous.
“I was the project leader for a consulting contract for Matt’s company. That’s how I met him.”
“You weren’t worried about an office romance?”
“Not really. I didn’t actually work for him. I was a contractor and didn’t even work on-site. The only reason we met was because he visited our offices to meet my team. Later, I went to his office to talk to some of his staff, and Matt happened by. He invited me to lunch, and things progressed from there.”
A half smile turned up her lips as she remembered the flutter of her heart when he’d asked her to lunch and she’d sensed his interest had more to do with her than the project. “He was this incredibly sexy, intelligent, successful hunk and I just couldn’t believe he was interested in me.”
“Come on, Kate. Have you been near a mirror lately?”
Self-consciously, Kate shoved her hair behind her ears and stroked its length. Matt had always loved her long, auburn hair.
“I know there were things about me he found attractive but … Well, every time he stared at me with that sexy grin on his face, I had to stop myself from glancing around to see who he was really looking at.”
Ellen waved a cookie in Kate’s direction. “You obviously had something that attracted him or he wouldn’t still be chasing you after all this time.”
Kate sipped her coffee. How had such a wonderful beginning led her to such heartache?
“Did you love him?”
The unexpected question caught her off guard. She stared at the arrangement of pink silk roses on the center of the table. She didn’t have to think about the answer. She thought about it every night before she went to sleep and every morning after she woke up. Her dreams wouldn’t let her forget. Nights full of passion, and pain.
“Yes, I loved him.”
“So why did you break it off?”
Oh, damn, she couldn’t answer that. At least, not the whole reason. She tightened her fingers around the mug, refusing to think about the nightmare that had torn her from Matt.
She grabbed a cookie and nibbled. Maybe it would be good for her to tell Ellen part of it. To share what she’d never shared with anyone before.
“I…” Her free hand bunched into a fist. This was hard. She set the cookie down. “When I was with Matt, I didn’t like how I behaved.”
Ellen’s eyebrows raised, but she said nothing.
“Matt was always strong-willed and when we were … together…” She glanced at Ellen. “He was very dominating.”
Ellen’s eyes narrowed. “So, in the bedroom he was too rough with you?”
“No, not that. It’s not the way he was, it’s the way I reacted to him.”
At Kate’s hesitation, Ellen shook her head. “I’m not quite getting it.”
“I became another woman. He took command, and I wanted him to. I wanted him to totally control me.” She drew in a deep breath. “And that bothered me.”
“Really? Because there’s nothing wrong with a little role-playing in the bedroom … as long as he didn’t take things too far.”
He had gone too far, but that’s not what Kate wanted to talk about.
“But to totally submit to a man? It didn’t feel right.”
“They why did you allow it?”
Kate shook her head. “It’s not that I allowed it. As I said, I wanted it. I needed it.” She stood up and paced. “The closer we got, the more I gave up to him. I felt I was losing myself.”
“Did he take advantage of your submission? Pressure you to do things you didn’t want to do?
”
A memory flashed through her mind. Of lying in bed, Matt stroking her cheek with a loving look in his eyes.
“No, never.” Her jaw clenched. But that wasn’t really true. At the end, during that party …
“Kate, are you okay?”
She drew in another deep breath. “Of course.” She gazed at Ellen. “It wasn’t about what Matt did.”
Again, that wasn’t quite true. Ultimately, it had been what Matt did that caused her to walk away, but even before that, Kate had struggled with the relationship, and still didn’t understand why she’d behaved the way she had.
“It’s about why I submitted to him so completely.”
“And why is that?” Ellen asked.
“That’s the thing. I really don’t understand it.”
“Well, okay. Tell me a bit about your childhood.”
Kate thought back. She really didn’t like thinking about her childhood. She’d been happy to get out on her own and away from her family.
“Well, my father was overbearing. And very critical.”
For as long as she could remember, he had constantly berated her mother. Then as Kate and her brother got older, he’d started on them, too. He’d often told Kate she would never amount to anything, and she was sure that had led to a lack of trust in her own abilities. Something she’d had to fight against her whole life, including getting through college. She’d had to keep telling herself she could do it and not let his constant voice in her head discourage her.
“My mother never really stood up to him,” Kate continued.
Her mother hadn’t protected Kate and her brother from the emotional abuse. As an adult, Kate realized her mother had been incapable of doing so, but as a child, Kate had felt that lack of protection as a deep betrayal.
Neither of her parents had been a very good role model, and Kate had certainly learned not to trust authority figures, even when they meant well, like her mother had.
A big reason Kate had been attracted to Matt was because while he was authoritative, he was slow to anger, he stood up for what he believed, and he encouraged his subordinates to grow and thrive.
