by Carew, Opal
Pain and anger blazed through Kate. She remembered the panic that had swept through her as weeks, then months passed, and she hadn’t been able to get work. At first, her boss had assured her they’d find something, then they had laid her off. She’d approached other consulting firms who had courted her in the past but who now flatly slammed the door in her face. Even the smaller firms. A couple had taken a chance and bid her on a couple of contracts, but those didn’t pan out and, finally, one helpful associate had given her the tip about a contract in Connecticut and suggested that starting over in a new location would be a good idea. Everyone had assured her it had been the state of business in New York at the time. She’d had no reason to question it.
But now, to find out that Matt had been the cause of her career plummeting …
“You destroyed my career? You ripped away all the good will I’d built up. Wiped out all the hard work I’d put in.” Having to pack up and leave everything behind her had been devastating. She’d loved living in New York. She’d had friends. She’d had a great place to live.
She’d had a life she loved. But she’d had to walk away from it all.
“I’m sorry, Kate.”
“You’re sorry?” She glared at him in amazement. Did he think that could fix everything? “Did you know the effect this was having on me?”
He sighed and stared past her. “I wish I could say I didn’t.” His gaze caught hers, but at the blaring anger emanating from her, it flicked away. “But I did. I hadn’t realized how broad the effect was, but I did know it was causing you problems.”
“So you and Ileana must have enjoyed that. The two of you”—she cast a look of disgust at the big bed they’d just shared for their poignant lovemaking—“lying in that bed having a good laugh.”
His lips compressed. “I never laughed about it, Kate. I never even discussed it with Ileana. I’d been bitter and angry, and I admit, I wanted to hurt you, but I hated myself for it. Even then. And now. Oh, fuck, what I wouldn’t give to take it all back. To make it different.”
“But you can’t. And you can’t change who you are.” Her hands clenched into fists and she paced the room. “Why do you think I never wanted to submit to a man? Because you don’t care who you hurt. It’s all about being in control. Making the world the way you want it to be. And if you can’t have that, then you strike out to hurt others.”
Just like her father had. He’d controlled Kate and he’d controlled her mother. And Matt had done the exact same thing. But she saw it now and she’d never, ever let it happen again.
“Kate—”
His tone, the look in his eyes, told her that he was going to make a plea. To proclaim his love again and tell her he was sorry and wanted to make it up to her. But she couldn’t take it. She wanted nothing to do with him.
She slashed her hand through the air. “No!” She shoved the sheets away from her, mindless of the fact she stood before him naked, then she strode to the closet, grabbed a pair of jeans and a shirt, and pulled them on, heedless of her lack of underwear. “I’m out of here.”
She strode to the door, then retrieved her purse from her room. Moments later, she hurried down the street. She tugged her cell phone from her purse and called for a taxi.
* * *
Kate opened the dryer door and pulled out her warm clothes, then placed them in a heap in her blue plastic laundry basket. It had been almost a week since she’d run out on Matt and her heart still clenched at the thought of his betrayal. She dumped the basket of clothes on the sorting table, picked up a light gray shirt, and folded it.
She’d ached knowing how he’d suffered after she’d walked out on him two years ago with no understanding of why it had happened, but then finding out how he’d taken his revenge on her cut her to the core.
“Hey, Kate. There you are.”
Kate swung her head around to see Ellen standing in the laundry-room doorway.
“Oh, hi, Ellen.”
Kate dropped the folded blouse into the basket, then picked up a striped shirt. She felt a little guilty because she’d been avoiding Ellen, but she knew her friend would pick up on her mood and try to get her to talk about what was wrong. Kate had been nowhere near ready for that.
Ellen grabbed a shirt from Kate’s pile and began folding. “So I thought maybe we’d share a bottle of wine. I have the feeling you could use someone to talk to.”
“I don’t know. I’ve got to finish this laundry, then I was going to catch up on some paperwork.”
Ellen dropped the folded T-shirt into the basket. “Your laundry’s almost done and that paperwork is for the business, right?”
Kate shrugged.
“Business can wait until Monday. Especially since you had booked last week off, yet you came back from your trip early and went into the office anyway.” Ellen dropped another T-shirt into the basket. “So? What do you say?”
Kate sighed. Ellen was being a good friend. And Kate could use someone to talk to.
“Okay, but let’s make it my place.”
Ellen had pictures of her and her boyfriend around her place and the last thing Kate needed was images of a happy couple glowing at her all evening.
* * *
Kate sipped her glass of wine as she sat on the couch facing Ellen.
“So, he was the reason you had to move to Connecticut?” Ellen said. “Well, I guess I’ll have to thank him.”
“Ellen, he ruined my life.”
“Really? But you have a business you love, you’re your own boss”—she grinned—“and you’ve got me as a best friend. Is life really so bad?”
Kate’s heart ached. “It’s true that I’ve rebuilt my life in spite of what he did. But it doesn’t change the fact that he betrayed me. For revenge.”
“But think about it, Kate. Would you have been willing to give him a recommendation after what you thought he’d done to you? You said you left the project with his company.”
Kate nodded.
“The guy’s only human. And I bet he didn’t realize what it was doing to your life.”
Kate sighed. “I know. I’ve told myself the same thing. But it was so hard to have to leave everything behind. And it was his fault.”
Ellen leaned forward and placed her hand on Kate’s. “You know, I don’t think this has anything to do with what happened to your job. I think it has to do with the fact that he had control over your life and you think he abused it. I think this has to do with the fact your father was abusive and now you’re running scared that Matt will be the same kind of man as your father. But do you think he is?”
“Ellen, when I was a kid, my mom was totally under my dad’s control. He controlled what she wore, what money she had to spend, where she went, who she saw. And she let him. I hated that. When my aunt took sick and Mom’s family called her to come and see Aunt Lily before she died, Dad wouldn’t let her go. And the worst was, Mom didn’t fight back. Aunt Lily died and Mom was devastated. She didn’t get a chance to say good-bye, but she could have, if she hadn’t let Dad control her.”
“But you’re not like that, Kate. You’re stronger. You will never let a man control you like that.”
Kate shook her head. “How do you know that? I don’t know that. When I’m with Matt, I don’t know myself. This past week, I had started to believe…” A well of emotion flooded her and she sucked in a breath. “I thought that maybe we could make it work. But that was because I trusted him. I knew he would never abuse his control over me. But … I mean, now I’ve seen that, in the right circumstances, he can be selfish and would strike out.”
“Oh, Kate, who isn’t like that? When we’re pushed to the wall, we’re all capable of acting out. But think about it. If he’d really been trying to hurt you, he could have done better than that.”
“You mean he could have gotten me fired from my job? Oh, wait. He did.”
“Okay, I get it. But it wasn’t on purpose. He told you he didn’t realize the effect his actions were having on you. He
simply held back giving you a glowing recommendation. As I said, he’s human. I’m sure you wouldn’t have been up to telling people what a wonderful human being he was right then, either. On the other hand, if he’d really wanted to hurt you, he could have given you a bad review. He could have said you’re unreliable and that your work sucked. That you couldn’t be depended on to see a project through, et cetera. If he’d done that, would you even have gotten the job here?”
“I suppose you’re right.”
“Of course I’m right. Kate, I’ve seen how you look at that man, and it’s clear as day you’re in love with him. Right?”
Kate pursed her lips and nodded. “But sometimes love’s not enough.” Tears welled in her eyes as she remembered how her mother had always said how much she loved her father, yet she’d always seemed so miserable with her life.
“You’re only saying that because of your mom and dad, but Kate, Matt isn’t the same as your dad. And you’re not the same as your mom. You know that deep inside, don’t you?”
“Maybe. But that doesn’t mean it’ll work.”
Ellen’s eyebrow arched. “Have you thought about the fact that no matter what you decide about being with Matt, you still have to see him on a regular basis because of your business arrangement?”
Had she thought about it? In fact, she’d thought of almost nothing else over the past several days. The big question in her mind was, how could she possibly continue the business arrangement with Matt now?
* * *
Matt finished the e-mail to his marketing director and hit SEND, then leaned back in his chair and rubbed the back of his neck. He hadn’t slept well over the past week, tossing and turning at night with thoughts of Kate. A part of him wanted to go after her and beg her to take him back, while another insisted he seduce her with his authoritative manner and demand she be his.
But, damn it, neither of those approaches would work.
As much as he’d known it had to end between them, that Kate would never love him after finding out what he’d done, it didn’t make it any easier.
He glared at his screen, his teeth clenching. He was a man of action. A man who fought for what he wanted.
But he couldn’t fight for Kate. He couldn’t make Kate love him.
The phone rang and his gaze darted to it. His secretary knew this was the time he blocked off every day to be undisturbed. He snatched up the handset.
“What is it?” he snapped.
“Oh, uh … Sorry to disturb you, Mr. Pearce, but … I mean, I explained that you don’t take visitors right now, but she said it’s important. I … uh … Should I send her away?”
Damn. His secretary was out sick today and now he’d intimidated the hell out of the poor temp.
Why would a woman appear at his door without an appointment? His business associates and senior staff knew he didn’t take visitors in the morning. His heart lurched, wondering if it might actually be Kate, but he knew better and tamped down that hope before it could unbalance him. Why would she come all the way here from Connecticut, especially without letting him know? He was sure she wouldn’t want to see him, and if she wanted to talk business, she’d probably have her lawyer or one of her staff contact him.
“The woman is quite insistent,” the temp said quietly into the phone.
Quite insistent? That sounded more like Ileana.
“Fine, send her in.”
He clicked on his browser and opened the calendar window. The door opened and from the corner of his eye as he reviewed his schedule, he caught a quick impression of a woman in a tailored black suit with a pencil-thin skirt, red pumps with stiletto heels, and carrying a red handbag. Definitely Ileana’s style.
He had a half hour free before his meeting with the board.
He might as well get this over with because, knowing Ileana, whatever it was she wanted, she wouldn’t let it slide. He leaned back in his chair.
“So, Ileana, what is it you want?”
But the woman standing before him was not Ileana. He sucked in a breath and stared at her, ensuring that he wasn’t seeing things.
“Kate?”
“You were expecting Ileana?” She closed the door behind her and glanced around his office.
“No, of course not. It’s just that when my secretary … the temp … said a woman was insisting to see me…” He stood up. “I don’t take visitors this time of day.”
“Yes, she made that clear. So I’m disturbing you.”
“No, Kate. Not at all. Please come in and sit down.” He gestured to the chair facing his desk.
She stepped farther into his big office, but paused yards from his desk. She stood tall and confident, commanding the room. Her presence surrounded him, mesmerizing him.
Silence hung between them as he waited for her to say something, but finally he needed to break the silence. “Why are you here, Kate?”
“You and I have unfinished business to discuss.”
“I have a meeting in a half hour,” he stated distractedly, concerned it didn’t give them much time, but he instantly regretted saying it aloud.
“All right, another time then.” She turned and headed toward the door.
“No, wait. I can cancel.” He snatched up the phone, relieved to see Kate stop and turn back. He did not want her to leave. The temp picked up. “Cancel my next meeting, and I’m not to be disturbed.”
He hung up. “I’m all yours, Kate.” Body and soul. If only she wanted him.
She frowned. “What I want to discuss is sensitive. I don’t want anyone walking in.”
“My secretary won’t let anyone in.”
She raised an eyebrow. “And yet, she let me in even though she had standing instructions not to allow anyone to disturb you.”
He sighed and nodded. “Point taken. I’ll lock the door.”
Damn. That meant this was going to get messy.
When he’d told her what he’d done, she hadn’t yelled or screamed, or even cried. She’d just walked out. Clearly, she’d chosen now to let him know what she thought of him, and she didn’t want anyone walking in on their emotional confrontation.
He strode across the office and locked the door, then he turned back to face her.
“So why are you here, Kate?”
“If I told you I’m not comfortable with you having any control whatsoever of my company, would you be willing to dissolve the business agreement between us?”
His chest tightened. “That’s not a good idea.” They both knew that without the capital he was providing, her company would fail.
She walked to the round table by the window where he held one-on-one meetings and placed her slim leather briefcase on the tabletop, then opened it and pulled out a document.
“I’ve had my lawyer draw up papers to replace our business agreement. Essentially, to dissolve the partnership. I’d like you to sign it.”
“Do you have another investor?”
If she didn’t, her business would not survive and he hated the thought that she would let it die, just to cut the connection between them completely.
“No, but I do have something I hope will pan out.”
She held out the document and he stepped forward and took it from her hand. He caught a whiff of her lilac shampoo, a new scent for her. Delicate and enticing.
He glanced over the typewritten words, most blurring under his quick perusal, but it was clear what it was. Kate was cutting him loose.
He glanced up from the paper and met her gaze. “Are you sure you want to do this, Kate?”
“Under the circumstances, the agreement no longer works as is, so yes, I’m sure.”
He sighed and pulled a pen from the inner pocket of his jacket, then set the agreement on the table and signed. Then he handed it to her.
“Is there anything else, Kate?”
“Yes, we haven’t even begun to deal with the fact that you nearly destroyed my whole career.”
He nodded, his heart aching. “I know. If there
was any way I could make it up to you, I would, but I know there’s nothing I can do to offset the pain I caused you.”
“Actually, there is something.”
* * *
Kate almost laughed at the way his gaze shot up to hers, then at the perplexed expression on his face.
“What is it?” he asked.
“Well, you caused me pain, so I should cause you pain.”
She placed the signed agreement beside her briefcase on the table, then opened the case again and reached into the leather divider in the lid. Her fingers found the pencil-thin crop and she pulled it out, then turned to face him.
“You should be punished for what you did.”
His gaze darted to the leather-wrapped riding crop with the rhinestone-trimmed handle and the heart-shaped leather tag on the end. His expression didn’t change, but she could see the gleam in his eyes.
“You want to punish me?”
She resisted letting her lips turn up in a smile. “That’s right. Now, stand facing your desk and take off your jacket.”
He walked to his desk and turned his back to her, then slipped off his jacket and tossed it onto his leather chair behind the desk.
“Now, drop your pants.”
She watched as the belt loosened, then the pants slipped to the floor and landed with a clunk. He stepped out of them and kicked them aside. He now stood in his shirt and boxers, but she needed to see bare ass.
“Now, the boxers.”
“Yes, Mistress.”
She couldn’t prevent the smile this time. Her heartbeat increased as his boxers dropped, but his shirt covered his fine ass.
“Pull your shirt out of the way.” She drew in a deep breath as he revealed his tight, hard buttocks. “Very good, now bend over.”
She stepped toward him as he obeyed, bracing himself against the desk. Then she flicked the crop back and slashed through the air until it connected with his gorgeous ass. A red mark appeared, in the shape of a heart. That’s why she’d chosen this crop. Because she liked the idea of leaving red hearts on his ass.
She flicked the crop again, on the other cheek this time, then watched the heart appear.
