by Angela Blake
“I made your favorite. Hot chocolate.” She said leading the way to the kitchen.
“You’re an angel sent to comfort me,” Livy said with genuine warmth. Nobody made hot chocolate like Nikora did.
“Yes that’s me. Angel in disguise.” She said with a laugh.
They both sat down on the kitchen island, sipping hot chocolate and eating cookies quietly. Nikora looked up at her at some point, eyebrows raised.
“So. Spill. What’s got you spun out?”
Livy took a deep breath, closing her eyes and then fixing her gaze on Nikora, “I had a curious visitor yesterday,” she began cautiously.
Nikora’s eyelids fluttered and she looked down at her cup, “Oh yeah?”
“Uh huh.” Livy said and just looked at Nikora.
There was a pregnant pause.
“What did she want?” Nikora asked.
“I didn’t say she was a she.”
They stared at each other some more, each waiting for the other to say something. Then Nikora sighed.
“Just tell me Livy,” she said.
“Well, this…woman…” she cut her eyes at Nikora as she said the word, to see her reaction. Apart from a twitch, Nikora was impassive, “she told me something about Tane. About your family really.”
Nikora gave her a sidelong glance, “My family?”
“Yeah. She said there was something…unusual about you guys.”
“Huh.” Nikora said.
“Yeah.”
“And…?”
“And? I tell you that some woman told me tales about your family and you tell me and?”
“What else did she say Livy?”
“She said it was a secret.”
Nikora sighed, “So why are you telling me?”
Livy looked down at her plate, “Because I figured if she came to me…she might have come to you too?”
“And what if she did? Does it make what she said any less secret?”
“No. I mean I just…I wanted someone to tell me I’m not crazy I guess.”
“Do you think you’re crazy?”
“I honestly wasn’t sure,” Livy said with a small laugh.
Nikora picked up a cookie from the pile and held it out to Livy. Livy looked down at the biscuit then up at Nikora. She reached out slowly and took it.
“Eat your cookie,” Nikora said, “You’re not crazy.”
***
Livy could not sleep. She didn’t know what she was going to say to Tane when he finally got here. It was stressful. She didn’t even know what he wanted to say to her. She knew she was borrowing trouble with all these extraneous thoughts but she couldn’t help it. She decided to call her sister and let her talk her down from the ledge she found herself on. She thought back to her conversation with Nikora, shaking her head at how surreal it all was.
“How is this my life?” she asked herself even as she dialed her sister’s number. It occurred to her that this was one thing she could never share with Gill. It made her feel curiously lonely. There never had been anything she couldn’t share with her sister.
“What up girl?” Gill answered her phone.
“Hey you.”
“Its midnight honey is there a fire or is this one of those,” Gill’s voice rose two octaves, “Gilly I can’t sleep read me a story! calls.”
“The second one,” Livy said with a laugh.
“Nervous about tomorrow?”
“How could you tell?”
“Midnight phone calls make me psychic.”
Livy laughed again, grateful to her sister for always knowing what to say to shake her out of the doldrums.
“What do you think he’s gonna tell you?”
“I think that if he wasn’t interested in you, he wouldn’t bother to get a whole ass plane here to come tell you.”
“You’re probably right,” Livy said.
‘Plus there’s the small fact of that visit from mermaid god,’ she thought.
“So what are you really worried about?” Gill asked.
Livy sighed; there really was no fooling her sister, “Maybe I don’t know what I’ll say to him.”
“I think that you probably can’t prepare for that. Just see how it goes, speak from the heart, it should be alright.”
“Speak from the heart. Got it.”
Gill laughed, “I promise you, it’ll be fine.”
“If it’s not can I hold you liable?”
“Sure Jan. Do that.”
The joy of Gill’s laughter spread through her body like a balm to her disturbed spirit.
“Goodnight Liv,” Gill said.
“Night Gill.”
Livy hung up with a smile on her face.
“Okay time to sleep. Tomorrow’s a big day,” she told herself.
***
Tane touched down in Maui at 9am in the morning. He wondered if it was too early to go to Livy’s straight away. They hadn’t agreed on a time but he imagined she was just as anxious as he was to get this done. Still, he decided to go home, drop off his laundry and then call Livy. Maybe they could talk on the beach.
His father’s words echoed in his head. Tipene had apparently never directly discussed his suspicions with Nikora but he still believed she had an inkling about his heritage. But he and Livy were not at that stage. At this point, they weren’t even dating. He wanted them to be dating. Maybe more than that. But he knew he wasn’t ready for more. There was school to finish and Wilson Enterprises to sort out. But he was getting ahead of himself…
***
“Hey.”
“Hey. Are you…?”
“Yeah, I’m at my house. Wanna come over? We can go for a walk on the beach?”
“Good idea.”
“Okay then. See you in a few.”
“Yeah. See you.”
Livy hung up, heart rabbiting so hard she thought she might pass out. She took a few deep breaths to steady herself before changing out of her PJs into a flower patterned sun dress and white sandals. She put on some lip gloss and sunglasses and piled her hair on top of her head.
Examining herself in the mirror she nodded, “Yep. You’re a rock star,” she told her reflection before whirling around to leave the house.
Tane was waiting on the borderline between his house and the beach. He smiled when he saw her and she felt her knees go weak.
“That’s actually a thing?” she murmured to herself as she struggled to keep walking.
“Did you say something?” he asked.
“Nope. No. Hey, how are you?” she said reaching up to kiss his cheek.
“Hey. Nice to see you.” He said.
They took a moment to stare at each other before Tane took her hand, “Walk with me?” he asked.
“Gladly.”
They walked slowly along the beach, enjoying the cool breeze coming in from the sea and the relative emptiness around them. There were a couple of fishermen in a boat a few miles from the shore but other than them, they were the only people on the beach.
“So. Tell me. You came to Honolulu for why?” Tane asked.
“I came to tell you that I get it. There are some things you can’t, or won’t talk about. I just wanted to say that I understand that and I respect it.”
“Really?” Tane said with a huge smile.
“Yeah.”
Epilogue
“How do you feel about long distance relationships?” Tane asked.
“I think they’re better than not having a relationship,” Livy replied with a naughty smile.
“Yeah. That’s kinda what I think too. Serendipity!” he waved his hands in the air playfully, grinning at her all the while.
“We have at least thirty six hours before I have to go back to school, you wanna like…do something?” he asked.
“Yeah I do.” Livy replied reaching for his hand.
“Cool,” Tane said tucking her hand in his elbow.
***
He didn’t want this to end.
Deeply, viscerally, with her licking chocolate chip milkshake from a long, slender spoon, he absolutely did not want this evening to end any time soon.
‘Ever’, something insidious whispered inside him. He punched it down, as that was . . . problematic. It was the shortest route to this and everything ending for good and all.
‘Ever’, it said again. Not a whisper at all this time.
He scowled.
She caught him.
Laughed, like there was nothing more amusing than the way his rich internal life played out all over his face and this was getting away from him.
Everything was getting away from him, so he dug in. Focused. He didn’t want this to end. Tonight.
She came out with him.
Slipped her arm through his - wouldn't let him carry her garment bag - and ordered an enormous quantity of food without the barest flicker of self-consciousness. She also shanghaied the waiter to pay the bill when he wasn't looking.
But she came out with him, and she liked the red tie. She liked the light jacket and the sea green shirt that offset his ice blue eyes. He knew because she kept flicking glances his way. She kept her eyes mostly on her shake and her plate of fries, sure, but there were all these tiny glances through her lashes, too, and he was not going to let this end here.
"You've seen it, right?" He opened his mouth and it fell out.
She looked up at him, perplexed, and no wonder. It was a complete non sequitur that he was still catching up with.
"The movie," he clarified for both of them, but it didn’t help. Because it was not a clarification at all. "The Shape of Water."
Oh. So that was what he meant. Ok?
Or not ok, maybe. Not ok with her. She took another pull on her shake. It was a hollow, bottom-of-the-glass sound that made him panic. Made him panic more.
"Trust you to want to see that one." She raised an eyebrow, and brought her napkin to her mouth, torturing him silently. "Though I would have thought such tooth rotting fluff was beneath you." She said with a grin.
He sneaked a fry from her plate, trying for cool, but it went down the wrong way and he was choking. She took pity on him and pushed her water glass across the table. He waved her off, nodding hard that he was fine—he was fine—even though he was not. He was a nervous wreck and he did not even know why.
"I’m confident in my sexuality." He said softly smirking.
She set down her napkin and leaned back against the booth. There was a depressing finality to it. The evening was coming to a close. He felt his face fall. His posture deflate; and he was powerless to stop it. He shifted on the bench, fishing for his wallet. He would leave the tip, at least. He was prepared to make a scene if she tried to keep him from that.
"Pieces of it," she said. A non sequitur of her own. She was fiddling with the silverware. Swapping the empty silver shake cup with the pedestal glass and trading them back again. Nervous little motions and he looked at his own hands, curiously stilled for the moment, his fist still wrapped around a few bills. She flattened her palms on the time table like she was thinking it, too. About this strange, sudden reversal. She looked up at him.
"In my online film class, we watched pieces."
"You’re taking an online film class?" He leaned in when she nodded her head. "You didn’t tell me that. I didn’t even know you were interested in film." He sounded too eager. Too much like his voice might break any second. He cleared his throat, paranoid. "It was . . . you should . . . You should see the whole thing."
"You have it?"
Their eyes locked and he could have sworn he saw her swallowing hard. He would have sworn it was a struggle to keep her hands still, and he would have sworn there was a little pink in her cheeks.
"Oh, just the Criterion Collection Blu-Ray." He puffed out his chest. An over-the-top nerd brag to make her laugh.
"Come on." She pushed to her feet and grabbed his wrist. She pulled him up and tugged the cash from his fingers, dropping it on the table.
"Come on?" It came out suspicious. Wary and he couldn’t make his feet move.
She rolled her eyes, three steps closer to the door than he was already. "Do I have to invite myself over?"
"No!" He practically shouted it, hustling to slip his arm through hers for the second time in as many hours. "You have to come over, Livy. Right now. I insist."
She laughed with that trilling joyful sound that thrilled him and he grasped her hand firmly in his and ran to his dad’s jeep.
***
“I don’t get it,” Livy said once the movie was over.
“What don’t you get?” Tane asked sitting up from where he was slouched on the couch.
“The whole concept. I mean, okay yeah some deaf girl fell in love with a god from the sea. Woo hoo. Why do I care?”
Tane stared at her, “Wow, you have no romance in your soul.”
“My soul is fine; it’s the movie that’s super cheesy.”
Tane nodded, “Okay, okay I’ll give you that one. It was super cheesy.”
“So? Why all the hullabaloo? What separates it from all the other cheesy romance out there?”
“Well, for one thing…god of the sea or water and what not…”
“Hmm, so falling in love with what’s maybe essentially a mermaid is exceptional?”
“I think so.” Tane said with a shrug.
“Okay…well I mean I guess we all want someone whose ‘different’ but falling in love is falling in love, right?”
“I guess.”
Livy wasn’t sure if they were still discussing the movie. She took a deep breath.
“So, what now?”
Tane looked around the room, “Drink?” he asked.
“I thought alcohol made you ill.”
“It does. Doesn’t mean you can’t drink.”
“Okay. I’ll have a martini please.”
Tane stood up and walked to the bar. He knew how to mix a martini because his mother liked them too. Sometimes when he came home from college they would sit and talk, his mother with her martini and him with a root beer. Now it was Livy and him having a drink and he was struck by a curious sense of déjà vu.
He brought her her drink and then flopped down on the couch next to her.
“We should talk.” He said.
“We’ve talked a lot.” Livy protested, “I thought we were gonna get to the good part.”
Tane grinned at her, “the good part?”
“Yeah you know, sex and stuff.”
Tane threw his head back and laughed. He reached out with his hand to her, still smiling.
“Livy? Will you do me the honor of spending the night with me?”
“Why yes kind sir. I certainly will.”
He stood up, helping her to her feet and led her to his room. When he hit his twenties, he’d converted the basement into a man cave, sound proofed and everything. So he wasn’t worried about his mother hearing them.
He led her down the stairs, keeping her hand in his, savoring its soft silky feel and the tight grip she kept on him. It was good to know she wanted this as much as he did.
He stopped at the bottom of the stairs, opening his door and standing aside so she could enter. He closed the door behind him and turned to face her.
“So, what you should know from the jump is…” he began.
She inclined her head curiously, watching him with those curious grey eyes.
“I am in this. Like totally. Completely. I want us.”
Livy smiled, “I want us too. So much.”
“Good to know.”
Livy’s mouth met his, warm and sweet and slow, lips kissing his insistently, hand rising from Tane’s thigh to caress his jaw, thumbing beneath their fused mouths. His mouth opened for Livy, tongue sliding to meet Livy’s halfway, both of them slowly circling. He felt the way Livy kissed him back; fingertips pressing into his cheek,
pulling him in deeper with a humming sound. Tane couldn’t stop the way he moaned, felt Livy shiver and shake, felt the way Livy eagerly ate the sound with a quick gasp of breath. Jesus fucking Christ, Tane had kissed a lot of people in his time and it had never been like this—not once, not ever. This was like real kissing and Tane felt kind of dizzy, the way Livy’s tongue was circling his.
He couldn’t help the sound he made when Livy trailed her tongue down the length of Tane’s throat to the point of his collarbone. Livy nipped at the line of his collarbone, and Tane was hard, and Livy’s teeth felt way better than they should against his skin.
Livy was grabbing him by the jaw, yanking him and tilting his head back, tongue hot as it flickered across his lower lip and then pushed inside, brushing over Tane’s and then suckling.
Tane felt every nerve in his body pulse with surprise, the way his veins contracted and then rushed with blood, heart beating a sudden wild rhythm in his chest.
“Can’t get enough of you,” Livy breathed into him, biting against Tane’s lower lip before her tongue swept inside again, slow, hot, slick tangle around Tane’s. Tane could feel his knees flash hot, suddenly weak as he tilted his head up. his hands clutched Livy by the face, kissing back into her on pure instinct. His knees were wobbly but holding as he leaned in, bending to meet the twist of Livy’s tongue, pulling Livy in to taste more of her.
Their bodies weren’t touching except where they were kissing, but Tane could still feel the heat radiating from Livy’s chest, her thighs, so fucking close, electricity like a living thing in the space between.
Livy tilted her head back another fraction and the noise she made into Tane’s mouth wasn’t human. Sheer, pure want poured into Tane’s mouth, rumbling down into his chest, and Jesus, Jesus fucking Christ-
They both pulled apart at the same instant, staring at each other, lips parted and shiny wet, breathing hard. Livy’s eyes were wide, soft, burning stormy grey, staring back at Tane with everything Tane was feeling. God, it was like he was underwater without gills; mind spinning dizzily, vision blurry.
“Hey, you wanna like…get married some day?” Tane said suddenly, surprising even himself as well as Livy.
She laughed, taking a step closer and cupping his crotch.
