by Shelly Jones
There’s a shift in the mood. Its borderline sexual tension, and something else. Not sure what it is, but now I’m wondering if this is a bad idea.
This song comes over my radio I’ve never heard of before.
“Do you know what this song is?”
“Drink a Beer” By Luke Bryan.” She says.
I’m listening to the lyrics, “Ok Nate, I hear ya loud and clear. Thanks big brother!” I say, I didn’t even realize I said it out loud, but I did.
“It’s amazing how they let us know they’re still around even after their gone.” She says quietly.
“Yeah, it is. He doesn’t do that very often for me. So this is pretty cool.”
We find a rock to sit on and look at the city lights below us. We don’t talk. We just sit here in pure silence. This was the worst idea I’ve had. All I can think about right now is kissing her. Son of a bitch, I want to kiss her so fucking bad.
“I’m wrong for you Emily.” I blurt out.
“What?”
“I’m wrong for you. I just want you to know that.”
“Ummm ok? Not sure where that came from, but ok.” She takes a deep breath, “No wait, why the hell did you just say that?”
“What you heard in the kitchen, it’s who I am. I don’t do relationships. I can’t do them.”
“Who the fuck said I wanted a relationship? Or that I was even interested in you?” She snaps at me.
“No one did, but I didn’t want you to get any ideas.”
She starts to laugh, “No worries, Xander. You’ve made it loud and clear! Thanks for making it even clearer!”
It’s quiet for a moment, I hear her sigh, “Ok so hypothetically, if I were to kiss you right now, or tell you I wanted you. You would say no?”
Fuck! How the hell am I supposed to answer this? Tell her the truth, that I’d fuck her right here, right now, or lie and tell her I’m not interested in her?
“Let me just put it to you this way. If I were to fuck you right here, right now. That’s all it would ever be. It would be hot, it would be the best sex you’d ever have, but it would end there and I don’t think you could handle it.” I get close to her,
“Yeah and who’s to say I want more than a good fuck?”
I throw my head back and start laughing, “Because baby, once you’ve had me, you’d want more and I don’t do that.”
“You know Xander, you’re pretty fucking cocky! You think you’re God’s gift to women. I can promise you this, if we were to fuck, you’d be the one calling me wanting more, not the other way around. Take me home now!” She snaps at me. And I won’t lie, it turned me on a little.
“Just remember Emily, I’m not the one for you!” I tell her and get on the bike. She follows and wraps her arms around my chest. She tells me where her place is. Well pull up to her house and she gets off the bike.
“Thanks for the ride home.” She snaps at me.
“No problem.”
“I’ll see you on Monday.” She says and walks away. She gets into her house and slams the door.
“Well, I’m pretty sure you’ve done it!” I say out loud.
I don’t even want to go home so I head over to the bar. It’s closed tonight, but there’s work I can get done. I park out front and go through the front door. I walk over to the juke box and start it up.
“Kryptonite” By Three Doors Down comes on. I walk over to the bar and get a beer. I head back into the office and get some paperwork and walk back into the bar and sit at one of the tables.
I don’t even know what time it is, when the front door opens. “We’re closed.” I announce and look up.
Fuck! I say to myself.
“What are you doing here?” I ask her, getting up and locking the door to the bar and turning around. I didn’t even notice what she was wearing, until just now. She’s wearing these Daisy Duke-like denim shorts, her cowboy boots and a white button down shirt. This is not the same outfit she had on when I dropped her off a couple of hours ago.
“I came to see you,” She says softly.
“Why?”
“Because I need you to touch me, I need to feel your skin on mine. My skin burns at the thought of your touch. I need you to touch me. Please? I wanted you to touch me tonight, but you didn’t.” She begs.
“Emily, I’m no good for you. I told you this up at the mountain. If I touch you now, I’m not going to be able to stop touching you and once I’m through with you, I’ll leave you and you’ll be left broken. It’s who I am, it’s in my blood.”
“Xander I don’t care if I never see you again, I need you tonight. It’s all I’ve thought about since I saw you outside this bar. I can’t think without thinking about you and what it feels like to have your hands on my body. I need you to touch me, your body against mine. I need you, please!” She stares at me, licking her lips.
She’s unbuttoned her shirt and her bra is now exposed. “Damn it Emily, you deserve better than this.” I tell her, watching her chest move up and down, her breasts shine in the bar lights. She sits on the pool table and it’s taken everything in me, not to fuck her right now on this table.
Her shirt falls to the table. “I’m not going to ask again. Xander touch me, even if it’s just for tonight. Touch me.” She says but this time it’s in a demanding tone.
“Fuck this!” I say softy, and it’s the last thing that comes out of my mouth before I crash my mouth into hers. Jesus Christ she tastes sweet, perfect. She moans into my mouth and it sends chills down my spine. She’s fucking perfect in every way.
“Touch me,” she whispers against my lips and I do as she asks.
The music has changed and the song couldn’t be more perfect. “S.E.X.” By Nickelback.
My hands find the waistband of her shorts and I undo them, gliding them off her ass. God she’s smooth, to my surprise, she’s not wearing any panties. “You’re making this way to easy baby” I give her that smirk I know drives her wild.
She bites her bottom lip “No” I say pulling it out of her teeth. “it’s mine to bite” I reply, biting her bottom lip. Her hands find the hem of my shirt and she rips it off over my head. I unhook her bra and let her breasts free, I take them in my mouth savory every inch of them. She moans even louder as I nibble, suck and pull on her nipples.
Tracing my tongue down her belly, I find her sweet soaking pussy. I gently stick one finger in and move it around, while kissing in between her legs. The sounds coming from her make it almost impossible for me not to come right in my pants.
Plunging three fingers in her wet pussy and my tongue finding her sweet nub. I suck, lick and flick my tongue. Within a matter of seconds she’s already come twice.
I stand up in front of her licking my fingers “Finger licking good Em” I growl.
“Fuck me, Xander. Fuck me hard!” she demands.
“You sure, Babygirl?” She unzips my pants and pulls down my pants and boxers. “Fuck me, please.” She hisses.
With her ass still on the pool table, I know she’s already wet and I just slam myself into her. She lets out a yelp and I’m afraid I’ve hurt her. “You ok?”
“I’m fine,” she says out of breath. She grinds against me and our motions are in sync. Before I’m ready to come, I pull out of her, turn her around, her ass up against me and I slam myself into her again. “Fuck yes, Xander” she screams and we come together. Fuck, I could love this girl forever.
She stands up and pushes me away. Grabbing her shorts, she puts them on and finds her bra and her t-shirt and puts it on.
“So, I guess that’s that?” She says looking down at the floor.
“Em, you knew what you were doing when you came here.”
“I know.” She whispers and wipes a tear from her eye.
“Damn it Emily! Why? Why did you do this? You know who I am. Everyone has warned you about me, I warned you! Yet you come to my bar and demand this shit from me and now you’re going to cry?”
“I came here because I needed to f
eel you and now that I’ve felt you . . . I’m not crying. Have a good night Xander.” She says grabbing her purse from the bar and unlocking the door and she’s gone.
I pick up a bar stool and toss it across the room, “Mother FUCKER!” I scream. I slam my fists into the door. “You fucking idiot!” I say out loud locking the door so she can’t come back in to get hurt again. “You should have made her leave. This is not going to end well. Not for you or for her!” I say out loud pacing back and forth.
I close up the bar, get on my bike and just take off. I drive for a good two or three hours. When I finally pull into my driveway, it’s close to four in the morning. I walk inside, close the door and walk straight to my room and throw myself on the bed. Running my hands over my face, my mind wanders back to her. The way she moaned, the way she tasted. God damn it! I swore I would never let a woman get to me like this. God damn it! I’m laying there, staring at celling and I guess at some point I passed out.
I DON’T EVEN remember my drive home from the bar, I’m numb. “Why the hell did you just do that? You’re not going to make him change his mind.” I shout, hitting my hands on the steering wheel.
I walk inside and just go right to my bedroom slamming the door behind me. Stripping out of my clothes, walking into the shower, I have to wash him away. If I don’t, I’m going to want him even more. He made it clear that won’t be happening. I stand here letting the hot water run over my body. Trying to erase his memory, but as soon as I close my eyes I see him. I see him smiling at me. His eyes and the hunger in his eyes when he saw me unbutton my shirt. I can feel his hands on me. Fuck his touch, the moment he touched me there was this sting on my skin. His touched burned me, I’ve never felt anything like this before. I can smell him, taste him still. I lean up against the shower wall and start crying and once I’ve started, there was no stopping it.
“Emily?” I hear Mel’s say softly.
“What?” I snap.
“Umm Xander is here . . .”
I sit straight up in my bed. “He’s WHAT?”
“He’s here, sitting outside on his bike. Not sure how long he’s been here but I went outside to see what he wanted and he told me he needed to talk to you.”
“Motherfucker!” I growl. I throw back my covers and walk past her, walking down the hallway, through the living room. I swing open the front door and walk right up to him. Not even giving a shit I’m just in flannel shorts and a T-shirt.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” I snap.
“Just wanted to make sure you were ok and to tell you I’m sorry . . .”
“Sorry for what?”
“For letting it go that far last night. I should have kicked you out.”
“Whatever.”
“You’re pissed at me?”
“Nope, I’m pissed at myself. I’ll be fine though. I’m your daughter’s teacher and that’s it.”
“Ok . . .”
“I’ll see you tomorrow.” I turn on my heel and start to walk away.
“Emily?”
I roll my eyes and turn towards him. “What Xander?”
“Friends?” He asks and smiles at me, but the smile is different. Almost looks like a pity smile.
“Yeah sure, friends.” I turn and walk away and walk back into the house.
“You fucked him!” Mel shouts.
“Not now Mel, not in the mood.”
“Holy hell! You did! Was it good?” She smirks.
“MEL! Will you just shut up! I’m not talking about it.”
“Wow, ok. Sorry . . .” As she throws her hands up in surrender.
“I’m sorry, I’m just not ready for the judging, and the third degree. It’s not worth it right now.”
“I’m not going to judge you. What you do with your body/life is your thing. But just get one thing straight. I’m always gonna be here for you.”
I pour myself a cup of coffee and grab the aspirin. “Never, ever, ever drinking again!” I say quietly.
“You say that now, you’ll change your mind.”
“Yeah probably not. It’s obvious that when I drink I go to bars and strip my clothes off and beg a man to touch me. Even though I knew what would happen.”
Her eyes got big and her mouth open. “I have no idea what to say.”
“Right? Oh, I owe you a bottle of Fireball and I owe Scott some beer.” I take a sip of my coffee stare blankly at the floor, “Got back here after he dropped me off. And I had this urge that I needed him, knowing I wouldn’t have the balls to do it sober. I drank a lot! So after having a beer or two. Took a large drink out of the Fireball bottle and went back to my room. Grabbed my daisy dukes, cowboy boots and white button down shirt, put the shit on. Came back out here drank some more and ended up at the bar.”
“I thought it was closed last night?”
“It was, but I went looking for him and saw his bike parked at the bar. Took a chance that he was alone.”
“Would it be wrong if I high-fived you right now?”
I glare at her “Yeah, it would be. What the fuck have I done? Oh and don’t say shit about this to Scott either.”
“You sure there’s no hope for you guys. I mean he did come over to check on you. That has to mean something, right?”
I can’t help but start laughing. “No Mel, there’s no hope for us. Trust me. He made it SO clear last night, but you know what? I’m not letting him get to me. I made friends last night and if they want to see me, well then so be it. Fuck him!”
“Ok, no offense, but I have no idea who you are. But I like it! Oh and don’t worry, not telling Scott shit. He’s being a douche right now!”
“Thanks.” I say walking back to my room and grab my phone, then go outside and sit. I start scrolling my through my phone and going over all the messages.
Xander had tried calling a few times before he came over. Missed a call from my parents, a couple of my friends from back home called. Reese sent me a text to ask how I was doing this morning. I replied quick and told her I was doing fine and thanked her for inviting me out last night.
The rest of the day went by like any other day for me. Nothing happened. I got caught up on my school work, sat and watched movies with Mel, doing everything in my power not to think about last night. It’s becoming hard as hell though. As soon as I start to relax, my mind wanders back to him.
I jump off the couch, “I’m going to go for a run.”
I go get my running gear on. “Since when do you run?”
“Since I need to keep my mind busy.” I say rolling my eyes. I put my earbuds in and crank the music as loud as I can to block out the voices in my head. I start out slow and eventually start to pick up the pace. I’m not even sure how far I’ve gone or anything. All I know is this feels good and I don’t want it to stop. I’m feeling the pain shoot through my body, I know I’m going to pay in the morning, but right now this pain is good for me. I run for a little while longer and end up back at my place.
Last night I slept for shit, and today I’m in so much pain, but I got to get through today and this week.
I walk into the school and right away I see Reese. “Shit.” I say to myself.
“Morning . . .” She says.
“Hey,” I reply.
We walk through the hallway in silence. It’s weird.
“Are you ok?” She finally asks.
“Yeah,”
“You sure? You don’t have to be strong around me.”
“Do you know?” I ask.
“Yeah, he was fucked up when I came to get my car and he sang like a canary to me and Blake.”
“Oh,”
“Just so you know, this doesn’t change our friendship. I’m here for you.”
“Yeah but you have been friends with him longer than me, so . . .”
“Yeah. So what? I like you, Emily. I think you’re an amazing girl and I’d like to think you’re one of my close friends. Not just a work friend.”
I have to fight the tears, “Thanks Reese.
That means a lot to me.”
She gives me a hug, “You busy after work?” She asks.
“No, Why?”
“Come over to my house for dinner. I’d say let’s go out, but it’s Blake’s night to work at the bar and I got to get the kids.”
“I’ll let you know.” We get to our classrooms. “Have a good day.” We both say and part ways.
I get my class set up, everything ready for the kids to come in. 8:00am and the kids start to come in, and the moment I’ve been dreading the most happens. Xander and Harlie walk in. “Miss Hayes!” She shouts.
“Good morning Harlie, go get your stuff ready. Ok?”
“Ok!” She says happily. She gives her dad a hug and says good bye.
“Hey,” Xander says.
“Hey,” I give him a weak smile.
“You ok?”
“Yep, I’m great.” I lie.
“Ok. Well I’ll see you in a few hours, I guess.”
“Ok, have a good day.”
“Yeah, you too.” And out he walks.
Yep, sleeping with him was the biggest mistake I’ve ever made. I have fucking feelings for him. Son of a bitch! I think to myself.
I get through the day, like I always do, with a smile on my face and not letting my personal feelings interrupt my professional life.
All the kids get picked up except for Harlie.
“Is Daddy or Grandma picking you up?” I ask her.
“Daddy, I think.” She says.
“Ok,” A few minutes go by and I hear a knock at the door and Harlie and I both look up.
“Daddy! You’re late!” She says in a stern voice and I want to high five her for that.
“Yeah. Sorry about that baby girl.” “Why don’t you get everything cleaned up you were playing with while I talk to Miss. Hayes real quick.”
“Ok!” She goes over and cleans up the blocks I let her play with. Xander walks over to my desk and sits in the chair next to mine, “Hey, I’m really sorry.”
“It’s ok. I figured I would give you a few minutes and then I was going to call.”
“No Emily, not about being late. About what happened between us.”
“Xander, if you want to talk about what we did, wait until I get off school property. When you enter this school, it’s about your child and nothing more. Anything else happens off school grounds.” I snarl. The hell he’s going to do this to me in my classroom, my safe place.
