by Shelly Jones
I get off the floor and sit next to her on the couch, I grab her and put her on my lap. “Ride me, Emily.” I say looking into her eyes.
She slides me into her, I grab her ass and hold on to her while she bounces, she grinds and she fucks me good. I suck her tits in between kisses. She taste so fucking good.
There’s something different this time though, we don’t normally make a lot of eye contact but tonight, our eyes didn’t leave one another.
“I’m going to come, Em.” I tell her and she smiles “Me too.” And we come together.
“Holy fuck, Em. That, Wow that was . . . I have no words.”
“A night you’ll never forget?” She smiles at me.
“Yeah, I’ll never forget this one.”
“You like the candy, huh?”
I let out a chuckle, “We’ll have an unlimited supply when you come back.”
She gets up to get dressed, and she turns to me. “So what’s the rules here? While I’m gone, am I allowed to text you? Or should I just ignore you? Just curious since we’ve never talked about this sort of stuff.”
“Let’s go have a drink.” I grab her hand and walk her out to the bar.
She walks over to the jukebox and hits play. “Awake and Alive” By Skillet comes on. This song reminds me of her. She makes me feel alive, and I’ve never felt this kind of shit before.
“To answer your question. Yes, you can text me. We are friends you know.”
“Ok. Just wanted to make sure, so I’m not crossing any lines.”
“There are no lines Emily. You know my “fuck buddies” have normally only been with multiple girls. Not one constant. You are my only constant “Buddy.””
“I am? Ok . . .”
“I don’t normally fuck the same girl twice, so you’re different and I’m not making any rules up except for keeping the feelings out of it.” It’s a lie, cuz I do have feelings for her and I should have never agreed to this, but I did, and there’s no backing out now.
“Ok, well, I guess this is a good thing.” She smiles and goes to put another song on.
“I’m probably going to text you while you’re gone too.” I wrap my arms around her waist. She doesn’t say anything, she just lets me hold her.
“Alright Xander, I gotta rip this band aid off and leave. Otherwise, I’m not going to leave.” She pulls away, “I’ll see you in a few days.”
“Ok,”
“Before I go, I’m gonna say something and when I get back, the balls in your court. If I don’t hear from you after tonight, I’ll get the message loud and clear.” She takes a deep breath and I know what she’s going to say.
“Emily, don’t. We will talk when you get back. Ok? No saying stuff and leaving. We will talk when you get back. Go enjoy being with your family and enjoy your mini vacation. I’ll be here when you get back.”
“Ok, bye Xander.” She says and leans in to kiss me on the cheek, but I catch her lips with mine and I give her a deep passionate kiss.
“Bye Emily. Hurry back.” I whisper against her lips.
I walk her out to her car and kiss her one more time and watch her leave. I watch her tail lights ’til I can’t see them anymore. “Oh my god, what am I going to do?” I say out loud and walk back into the bar. I clean up the bar, lock up and get on my bike and go to the same look-out spot I took her two months ago when I told her I wasn’t any good for her.
“I’m falling in love with her and that wasn’t supposed to happen!” I say out loud looking out at the city lights.
“ALRIGHT EM, HAVE fun, say hi to your mom and dad for me ok? Oh and give Grandma and Grandpa a hug for me too. Text me when you land!” Mel says giving me a big hug.
“Ok! I love you. I’ll see you in a couple of days.” I walk into the airport and go through security and all the other shit. I sit and wait for my flight, I send my mom a text that I will be boarding soon.
I feel like I’m making a huge mistake leaving right now. Not sure why, but I’m afraid when I come back everything will be different and things will have changed. I want to text Xander, but I stop myself. I want him to text me, not the other way around. My flight is called and I board my plane at 10:00 am but I won’t get to Wisconsin until after 4:00pm. When I get to Minnesota for the hour layover, I text Mel and Reese to let them know that I made it safely. I call my mom to let her know I’m on time and to make sure someone will be there at the airport to pick me up. While I was on the phone with my mom, I got a text message and I checked to see who it was from. Xander!
“Hey are you there yet? Just checking in.” He writes.
I quickly get off the phone with my mom and send him a message.
“I’m in Minnesota. Almost there.” I reply.
I wait a few minutes and he replies back. “Ok well that’s good. Text me when you get there. Ok?”
“I will.” I send him.
I hate that I don’t know what he’s doing or who he’s with. I hate feeling like this, especially since he’s not mine.
They finally call my plane and I’m Wisconsin bound. The flight was quick, maybe an hour. I grab my things and follow everyone off the plane. I look around “Yep you’re not in Phoenix anymore.” I say under my breath. When I left Phoenix it was in the 80s, it is now 50 degrees colder.
“Emily!” I hear a girl shout and I turn and get slammed into by my younger sister, Hilary.
“Damn girl, trying to knock me over are you?” I catch my balance.
“Sorry! I just missed you.”
“Missed you too, Squirt.” I give her a hug.
We walk and find my mom, “Hi Mom.” I smile.
“Hi Emily.” She says. My mom, the foundation of our family stands there smiling at me in her jeans, cream colored sweater and oversized winter jacket with black boots. With her blonde hair down and tucked behind her ears.
“How was the flight?”
“It wasn’t too bad.”
“That’s good.”
While walking to baggage claim I send one mass group text message to everyone back in Phoenix.
“Have landed safely. Missing the heat, it’s too fucking cold for me. : ( Don’t miss me too much!” Shit, probably shouldn’t have sent that to Xander, but fuck it.
I grab my bag and we walk to my mom’s minivan. It’s an hour drive from the airport to my small town, Manawa Wisconsin. My mother doesn’t seem too happy with me. This is going to be fun . . . NOT!
“So, how’s everyone?” I ask, trying to get a feel for what I’m about to walk into.
“Everyone is good. Dad is working a lot. He’s coaching the hockey team this year and will be helping coach the middle school football next year.”
“That’s cool, I’m glad he’s doing well. Is Danny coming home?” My younger brother, the wild child of the family. Was always in trouble and never went to church with us. I wished I was like him, I never had the guts to stand up to my parents and tell them I wasn’t going to church or anything like that.
My phone buzzes and it’s from Xander. “I bet I could keep you warm, as far as missing you. We’ll see.”
Damn it. I can tell my face has turned red. “Oh there’s no doubt you could keep me warm. Warm just thinking about it . . .”
“Who’s the guy?” My mom asks.
“Just a friend.”
“Just a friend makes you blush like that?”
“He’s just a friend.” Who’s my fuck buddy at night, and by day I teach his daughter. Good lord if she only knew. She’d probably kick my ass.
“You and Hilary will be sharing a room this weekend.”
“Ok, no biggie.” I figured they turned my room into the office.
We finally pull into the driveway of the two-story farmhouse that I have lived in since I was born. It hasn’t changed at all.
I walk inside the house and it smells of apples and vanilla. “Love this smell!” I say under my breath.
“Jim . . . We’re home!” My mother calls for my dad.
Dad neve
r comes out, “Help me with my bags?” I ask Hilary.
“Yep!” She says and grabs one bag while I grab the other.
“Is Dad still mad?”
“I don’t know, Dad is Dad. He’s quiet and doesn’t talk to anyone unless they’re at church. Not sure what’s going on.” She may only be 15 but the girl has a mouth and speaks her mind.
“So tell me about Phoenix! I wanna know everything.”
I unpack my laptop and show her pictures.
“I want to come for a visit!”
“Maybe this summer. I’ll see if Mom will let you come stay with me for a couple of weeks.”
“Really? That would be awesome.”
“We’ll see. I can tell they’re still not too happy with me.”
“They’ll get over it soon! I promise.” Hilary says.
I walk back down stairs and no sign of my dad yet. “I’m gonna go for a walk.” I tell my mom.
She just smiles and nods her head.
I put on my layers and head outside. I walk our property. It’s cold as hell, but the cold feels good. I start to think about Xander, and what him and I are doing, and I’m not sure I’ll be able to keep being his fuck buddy. I need more. I want more. I want him all to myself.
“Emily?” A man’s voice from behind me says. I turn,
“Dad!” I say walking right into his arms and hug him.
We don’t say anything for a while. He just hugs me.
“You ok?” He asks me.
“Yeah, I’m great. Just wasn’t sure if I was going to see you. I know you’re mad that I left.”
“I’ve been an ass. I know that. I’m sorry.”
“It’s ok, Dad.”
Dad and I talk for a bit. He asked if I was happy and if I thought I made the right decision. I told him I was very happy and I couldn’t be happier.
“Well there you two are.” My mom says to us as were walking in.
“Well I’m beat. I will see you guys in the morning.” I kiss them both on the cheek and walk upstairs.
Hilary’s on her phone when I walk in. I go into my bag and get my flannel pants and long sleeve shirt and head to the bathroom to change.
I get back in the room and grab my phone charger out of my bag and plug it in.
My phone rings, “What the fuck?” I say out loud and I answer.
“Hello?”
“Miss Hayes, its Xander.”
I let out a giggle. “Yes, Xander? What can I do for you?
“Oh I just wanted to make sure Harlie didn’t have any homework for the holiday.”
“Xander, she doesn’t have anything to do but have fun. Is that why you called?”
“Well, sort of. Also I wanted to hear your voice. I didn’t catch you at a bad time, did I?”
“No, I just crawled into bed.”
He starts to chuckle, “Oh really now, what you wearing?”
“Umm, I’m sharing a room with my little sister.”
“Oh fuck! I am so sorry!”
“It’s ok.”
“Well, I should let you get some sleep. Happy Thanksgiving, Emily.”
“Happy Thanksgiving, Xander. Night.” I reply and hang up.
The next morning the house was loaded with people by noon. My grandparents, my aunts and uncles, and a few cousins. “Why didn’t Mel come with?” My grandma asks.
“She has to work tomorrow and there’s just no time for her to fly in quick. I’ll get her up here soon.”
“So who’s the guy?” My sister Kathy asks.
“Nobody.” I say quietly.
Kathy’s brown eyes get big, “Yeah, that’s bullshit. Come on. Let’s go talk.” She grabs me, we grab our coats and walk outside.
“Talk to me.”
“Kathy, I don’t even know where to start.”
“Well start from the beginning.” Oh my sister, she knows me better than anyone. I tell her everything about Xander and she’s speechless.
“WOW! Umm, you go girl, but it isn’t going to end good for you.”
“I know. I know.”
“I don’t have any advice for you. Just be careful.”
“I am.”
“So how many tattoos do you have?”
“Why?”
“I see this one.” She pulls up my sleeve.
“How many more?”
“2 more, one of each side of my rib cage.”
“Good call hiding them.
“I know, that’s the whole reason.”
We go back inside and I sit at the table just listening to my family laugh and have a good time; it’s nice. Didn’t realize how much I missed them ’til now.
Thanksgiving dinner was delicious. Everyone asked how my job was and if I was happy. Then, the main reason why I left this town reared its ugly head.
My cousins start gossiping about the entire town and just started talking shit. I rolled my eyes, “Wow! Some things never change.” I said out loud.
They just glared at me, “I’m sorry but I did not come all this way to hear about who’s screwing who. Or who’s pregnant or whatever gossip you guys are spreading.”
“So Emily, when are you going to settle down and get married?” My aunt asks me.
I busted out laughing, “Umm I’m in no rush.”
“Oh come on, you’ve had your fun out there. You should move back home, find yourself a nice boy and settle down. You’re not getting any younger.”
“I didn’t move out there for fun. I moved out there for a life and I’m my enjoying life. I’m enjoying getting to know me. My life is great.”
“But you’re single. Don’t you want to have kids?”
“Yeah, later on, but not right now. No need to rush.”
My dad finally speaks up, “You find a church out there?”
Oh shit, here we go. “No Dad, I haven’t. Been too busy to even think about it.”
“I can’t say I’m not disappointed in you. I thought you’d be going to church.”
I just shook my head. Get me out of here!
The rest of my time in Wisconsin has been anything but fun. Getting grilled by every family member was annoying the hell out of me.
My alarm goes off at 6am and I jump up and I am ready to go within an hour. I’ll shower when I get back home. The sooner I get out of this town and this state the better. I walk downstairs with my bags.
“What time does your flight leave?” My dad asks
“9am.”
“Ok, well after breakfast, we’ll head out.”
I nod my head. We sit and eat our breakfast in silence. I know they have spotted my cross tattoo by now and I don’t care.
Mom, Dad and Hilary take me to the airport. The entire ride here was in silence. “So are you coming home for Christmas?” My mother asks.
“Not sure, Mom. We’ll have to see if I have the money.”
“Oh,” She says. I just roll my eyes.
They don’t come in with me, and just drop me off at the terminal. Dad gets out of the van. “Text when you land. It was good to see you.”
“Ok, Dad. I love you.”
“Love you too, Emily.”
I say goodbye to my mom and my little sister and I walk through the doors. My flight departed on time and I was in Minnesota in no time for my lay over.
I sent Mel a quick message that I should be right on time. I didn’t text Xander. Actually I didn’t hear from Xander after that night that he called. I have no idea what is going to happen when I get home, but I’m a little anxious about it.
I get on my flight to Phoenix, and once we’re in the air I put my headphones on and listen to music. “Want To” by Sugarland comes on. I’ve always loved this song, but it has a different meaning now. “Alone With You” by Jake Owen follows after Sugarland. My sound track for Xander and me. I think to myself.
My flight seemed faster this time around. After a while they finally let us off the plane. I couldn’t get off this plane fast enough. I walk out where everyone’s loved ones are waiting
for them and I start looking for Mel. I can’t find her. “Shit!” I say under my breath.
“Emily!” I hear someone shout my name and I look, “Thank God!” I say, walking over by Mel.
“How was is it?” She asks.
I let out a small laugh, “Let’s put it to you this way, I know I made the right choice moving here. Oh and Grandma wants you to come with me next time.”
She laughs, “Yeah, we’ll see about that. So your dad was still pressuring you?”
“Oh God, asked if I had gone to church, wanted to know when I was going to settle down and all that bullshit. They want me home for Christmas. Not happening. I’m staying here.”
“Well, you’ll have Christmas with us then.”
We managed to find my bag from baggage claim and head for home. When we get home, I go right to my bedroom to unpack and take a shower. I get dressed in my black yoga pants and my pink camouflage t-shirt, grab my phone and my laptop and go out to the living room. “You doing anything tonight?” I ask Mel.
“Yeah, Scott and I are going to his parent’s house. There’s some big announcement. I don’t know, but whatever. His family likes me and that’s all I care about.”
“Awesome.”
“Xander coming over?” She smiles.
“Doubt it. Probably won’t be seeing him outside of school. Just need to be more than the fuck buddy I think.”
She laughs, “Yeah we’ll see about that one. You two are so messed up and attracted to each other.” She stops talking. “I won’t say anymore, because it’s not my business.” She walks down the hallway to her bedroom.
I power up my laptop and try to get some work done.
After Mel leaves, I send Reese a text “Hey just wanted to let you know I’m home.”
Instead of sending one back, she calls me.
“Hello,”
“Hey, so you’re back in Phoenix?”
“Yep, home sweet home. Why?”
“Have you told Xander?”
“Nope! He didn’t text me while I was gone, so I figured he’d been busy or whatever. So I haven’t even bothered him. Why?”
“He’s fucking losing it. He keeps asking if we’ve heard from you. He thinks your parents are going to get you to change your mind and move back. He’s acting weird.”
I let out a small laugh, “Well, the phone goes both ways. Besides, I’m not sure I can see him anymore outside of school.”
