by Virna DePaul
She started to speak, but he cut her off. “—and no, you aren’t coming with me, Linda. Please. As much as I love the memory of our last visit there, don’t fight me on this. This is my job. Let me do it. Trust me to do it.”
He knew her so well. She had been going to suggest she go with him.
“Okay,” she nodded. “But I think we should do something together. Before you leave for Club Matrix.”
He wiggled his eyebrows up and down. “And what’s that?”
She swatted at him, relieved that he could keep his sense of humor despite his despair over Justine. “Obviously not what you’re thinking. Well, not just that,” she amended. “I think we should see Justine together and try to reason with her.”
“Uh, what makes you think that’s a good idea? Given the nature of her demands, she’s obviously jealous of you and willing to play hardball. I’m completely willing to believe at this point that she’s the one that’s been causing us—causing you—problems. I don’t want you near that kind of danger. Any kind of danger.”
He was willing to risk himself, yet never wavered from his determination to protect her. At that moment his selflessness made her fall even more in love with him. But she had to help him somehow. She couldn’t just sit here and let him take all the risks. She opened her mouth to argue, but he tapped a finger against her lips.
“While I’m gone, you’re going to stay here, Linda, where you’ll be safe. But about that other thing you suggested we do before I leave? I happen to think that was a very, very good idea.”
Smiling, she nudged his finger aside and moved to kiss him. There was still time before he had to leave. She’d love to spend it in his arms, and if she could manage to convince him during that time to let her help, then all the better.
To her surprise, however, he evaded her touch and said, “Let’s go for a drive.”
* * *
After donning a baseball cap and sunglasses, Tony brought Linda to the nearby Discovery Park, a swath of nature and wildlife following the American River as it coursed through the heart of Sacramento. She was confused and, understandably so, a little annoyed by Tony’s lack of romantic follow-through. But Tony kept smiling mysteriously at her, and periodically kissing her—long wet kisses that kept her blood set to a constant simmer until she finally realized that’s exactly what he wanted. He’d decided to take her on some kind of adventure before he had to leave for Club Matrix, and despite everything, she was going to give herself over to it. To him.
Surrounded by the river on one side and overgrown brush, trees and grasses on the other, Linda realized that the sound of the city had faded to nothing. That the acrid smell of exhaust and smog had been replaced by the earthy scent of the river and a hint of mint.
“Look,” Tony said, his voice eager and excited. He pointed down the pathway.
Linda traced the arc his finger made and saw a pair of deer trotting in the bushes. She let out a gasp and stopped, freezing in place.
“I’ve seen them out here before,” Tony said. “These may not be the same pair, though.”
“It’s cool. How wild things can live in such an urban area.”
“Yeah. Pretty cool. They’re both wild and free.”
She looked at him, not understanding his point.
He was no longer watching the deer.
He was watching her.
Smile lines crinkled the edges of his eyes. He reached for her hand and interlaced his fingers with hers. He tugged her closer until her hips met his.
“What are you doing?” she asked, even though she knew exactly what he was doing. What he wanted them both to be doing. She looped her arms around his neck and pressed her body even tighter against him.
Wild and free.
It was how Tony made her feel.
And for once, here on this isolated path where it was only the two of them and the occasional animal passing by, she was determined to enjoy the feeling without guilt or recrimination.
“Wild and free,” Tony repeated, grinning. A light breeze traveled down the path of the waterway, grabbed the tips of her hair and flipped them up. “Just like you,” Tony said. “You are the same as those deer. Wild and free, despite the fact you live in a civilized, controlled environment. You shouldn’t feel bad when your true nature yearns to break free. You should celebrate it. Not all the time, but sometimes. When it’s safe. When you’re with me.”
He kissed her and she moaned, feeling her hunger and love for him filling her up.
Her passion boiled over like a Texas storm cloud, taking away her reason and giving her only pleasure until he broke off the kiss. She whimpered and touched her tender lips, wanting only his taste, his scent, his touch all over her.
“Let your wild child out,” Tony whispered in her ear, then caught her mouth with his again.
Hot, passionate and wild, the kiss went on and on. She forgot about Justine, her father, her quest for the judgeship and her doubts about a future with Tony. All she knew was her love for him, here and now. She marveled at the feel of his mouth, his taste, the sound he made when he sucked in air and the feel of his heart beating against her own.
She was free. They were free.
Free to feel. Free to enjoy each other despite the years and the heartache that had separated them for so long.
But then Tony broke their kiss once again. Her knees caved and she sagged against him. Surprised by her sudden weight, he stumbled backward and tripped over a root. He caught himself by twisting, then winced as he righted both himself and her.
“I’m sorry,” she cried. “I hurt you.”
“It’s nothing,” Tony said. “Come here.”
“Where—”
He led her to an outcropping of rocks beneath a large tree. They were completely off the path now. Secluded, but still close enough to hear someone if they came toward them. Slowly, Tony sat on a large flat boulder and patted the spacious area next to him.
Heat zipped through her veins.
She sat beside him and placed a tentative hand on his thigh. Did he want what she thought he did? Did he want to make love out here, out in the open, or would he be horrified by her attempts to take things in that direction? She was afraid of misreading him and as a result her touch was hesitant. Fleeting. He swallowed hard and placed his hand over hers. Picked it up and pressed it to his lips before placing it back on his thigh.
“Don’t tease me, baby. I’m about to explode as it is.”
His unexpected confession sent sensual quivers through her limbs. It made her tummy turn somersaults. “I wasn’t meaning to tease.”
Tony moved her hand farther up his thigh until her fingertips swept the length of him on the inseam of his jeans. “I want to be inside you. Here. Give me your wild side, Linda. Please.”
Once more they kissed for several moments, rubbing their hands over one another’s hair and bodies. She protested when Tony raised his head. He kept stopping. Why did he keep stopping?
“I won’t stop. We won’t stop. But I want you naked. Now.”
She stopped protesting.
And reached down to take off her clothes.
While she stripped, Tony did the same.
They came together as wildly as Tony thought her to be.
She rejoiced in that wildness, but she also rejoiced in the other things he made her feel.
Beautiful. Sexy. Loved.
Linda felt bombarded by sensation, emotional and physical. She no longer knew where she was. The world ceased to exist. Only Tony was there. In her mind. In her heart. In her body. She felt a familiar pressure building inside her, but didn’t fight it.
She embraced it.
Welcomed it.
When she came, she came looking into Tony’s eyes.
* * *
Sev
eral hours later Tony dropped Linda off at their hotel and drove to the motel where Justine had said to meet him. Thinking positively, he was dressed to go to Club Matrix, but because he was prepared for the worst, he was also wired.
Yet another reason not to get naked with Justine.
As if he needed another reason.
As if the memory of being inside Linda would ever allow him to do such a thing. Ever allow him to want or love another woman again.
He shook his head to clear it.
He couldn’t see Justine with thoughts of Linda clouding his head. He had to be careful. Very careful. If she was taking Rapture and had put a bounty on Linda’s head, she was seriously dangerous. He took some comfort in the fact that Yee would not only be able to hear what he and Justine talked about, but that the other man was stationed around the block. He could be inside Justine’s motel room in under a minute.
All Tony had to do was say the code word in enough time for Yee to actually get there. That, and pray that his instincts in choosing to again trust Yee were spot-on.
He knocked on the designated motel room door.
The motel wasn’t a palace, but it wasn’t sleazy, either. It was clean. Respectable.
Despite her attempts to blackmail him, maybe Linda was right. Maybe Tony could help Justine get back on the road to being clean and respectable, too. He’d failed to help Rory, and for all he knew it was Justine’s grief at her brother’s death that had sent her spiraling out of control. If he could help Justine, he would.
But he was not going to risk himself or his relationship with Linda to do it.
“Justine,” he called when she didn’t answer. “It’s Tony. Open the door.”
But she didn’t answer.
Had she tricked him? he wondered abruptly. Had she lured him here knowing that would mean leaving Linda alone and vulnerable?
“What’s going on, Tony?” Yee asked through the transmitter in Tony’s ear.
“She’s not answering,” Tony said softly. He knocked louder. Called out again. “Justine!”
“Is there a problem, sir?”
A maid pushing a linen cart spoke from behind him.
He thought quickly. “I locked myself out and my girlfriend isn’t answering. We got into a fight earlier and I’m worried. Can you let me in so I can check on her?”
The woman shook her head. “Sorry. I can’t.”
“Yee,” Tony said.
“I got it,” Yee said. “I’ll check with the manager. Get a key and meet you in a few.”
“Hurry.” Tony didn’t know why he said it. But once he did, urgency made him start pacing.
Soon, Yee showed up, key in hand. He pounded on the door. “Ma’am. This is the manager. Are you in there? I need you to answer me or I’m coming in. Ma’am?”
With a final glance at Tony, who stood to the side, Yee withdrew his gun and held it at the ready. He unlocked the door and slowly swung it open.
He didn’t walk inside the room, though. He cursed, entered the room with his gun drawn, then almost immediately snapped, “The room’s clear. Call an ambulance. I think she’s OD’ing.”
Tony swiftly entered the room and saw Justine. She was lying in the bed, pale and sweaty, her entire body trembling. Her eyes were open, however, and they were latched on Tony, her gaze desperate. Her dry cracked lips moved, but no sound came out. And even as he dialed for the ambulance, he knew what she’d been trying to say.
Help me.
Chapter 30
Tony stood looking down at Justine, who was sleeping again. She’d been in the hospital for almost forty-eight hours. It had been touch-and-go for her at first, but once the medical staff had stabilized her, her health was improving rapidly. Physically, it seemed, she was going to be fine.
Her mental health, however, was still in question.
She’d been in and out of consciousness, and Tony had rarely left her side. He couldn’t. At first he’d been worried about her. Then it had become obvious that seeing him always caused her to have an intense emotional response. Initially she’d simply cried or screamed with rage. But then she’d started talking. And once that had happened? Well, he hadn’t wanted to risk missing a single word she’d said.
Some of what she said didn’t make sense, but a lot of it did.
Her words were a jumbled mess of love and hate, with her alternately thanking him for saving her and fighting for her brother, and cursing him for abandoning her for Linda. Other times she didn’t seem to realize what had happened, and she’d ask whether he’d discovered the identity of the Rapture supplier or whether Guapo had been released from prison yet.
The real shocker had occurred almost twelve hours ago, however, when she’d confessed, quite gleefully, to twice hiring someone to kill Linda. She’d been responsible for both the shooting at the courthouse and the attempted attack on Linda at her house. She’d done it because she loved him, she’d said, and knew she wouldn’t have a chance with him so long as Linda was around. When Tony had asked her the identity of the person she’d hired, she’d waved him off, saying that she’d met some guy at a bar and had been having sex with him to get him to do what she wanted. At his urging, she’d finally given Tony the guy’s name and address. He’d already been picked up and booked into jail, and Yee was working on serving a search warrant on the Tortuga Boulevard house. Soon, Carl and Nicco Santos would be in jail, too, although the bust would in no way be linked to either Justine or Tony. In that way, at least, Justine would be protected, and hopefully in protecting herself, she’d keep Tony’s true agenda a secret, too.
Tony was still struggling to accept it all, including his stupidity for not having seen Justine for what she really was and his guilt for having placed Linda in danger again despite all his good intentions to protect her.
“Hey,” Linda said softly, squeezing his arm and making him jump.
He turned toward her. She’d been sitting in a chair several feet from Justine’s bed, but had risen to stand beside him. It was the second time she’d come to see him at the hospital even though he’d told her he didn’t want her here. It wasn’t that Justine was a threat to her anymore—her hands and feet were manacled to the bed—but he didn’t want Linda to hear the ugly things that Justine often said about her.
But when Linda had insisted on staying again, he hadn’t had the strength to fight her. If she wanted to stay with him after everything he’d put her through, he’d just enjoy her while he could. In his mind, she’d be walking away from him soon enough.
“Stop it,” she said. “I know what you’re thinking. I can see it in your eyes. You’re blaming yourself for all this, and I’m not going to let you do it. You are not responsible for what she tried to do to me and you’re not responsible for what she did to herself. She had a drug problem, Tony, long before you and I ever saw each other again. You have to remember that.”
He heard what she was saying. Logically, a part of him could even accept it. But emotionally? He hurt. More than he’d ever hurt physically. He felt like a failure.
As a cop.
As a man.
Maybe he couldn’t do anything about the latter, but the former? Maybe he could still do something about that.
“You should get to work,” he told her. “It’s your first day back, remember? Now that we know Justine was behind the threats to you, you need to get on with your life. There’s no sense in you sitting here waiting for her to wake up. And I’d really prefer you not be here when she does, anyway. Please.”
“You still think she’ll tell you something about the man who sold her the Rapture?”
“I don’t know, but I need to find out. Maybe I was wrong about everything else, but I still think she loved her brother. If I can appeal to her on that level, who knows?”
Linda nodded and stood. Then she ben
t to lightly kiss him.
He closed his eyes. Breathed her in. Soaked in the feel of her and wondered how long this would last. Wondered when she’d realize that, just like Justine, he was still a drug addict and as such would always bring complications to her life. Complications she wanted no part of.
“Will you come by my house later? Around six o’clock? I’ll be back from work then and there’s something I want to show you.”
“Sure,” he said, giving her a tired smile.
After she left, Tony stared at his clasped hands and waited.
Less than an hour later he looked at Justine and found her gaze on him.
She was looking at him with a calmness and clarity he hadn’t seen her exhibit the whole time she’d been here.
“Hey,” he said softly and scooted his chair a couple of feet closer. He forced himself to smile.
“Hey,” she said back, returning his smile. A few seconds of silence passed, then she said, “So do you know?” she whispered. “Did I...did I tell you what I’ve done?”
“That you tried to have Linda killed, you mean? Yeah, I know.” Inside his rage was still building. He hated her for the danger she’d put Linda in. For the way she’d played him. But he’d been playing a part for so long, he almost felt like a different person. He needed information from Justine and showing his rage wouldn’t get it. So he didn’t show it. It was as simple as that.
“I did it because I love you, Tony. And I know you love me. You were willing to go to jail to protect me, weren’t you?”
“Yeah,” he said, leaning over and touching her arm. “I was.”
She smiled and they were silent again.
Finally he said, “Do you still want to help me find the man who sold Rory the drugs that killed him, Justine? The drugs that almost killed you? Or was wanting to help me all a lie?”
She jerked her gaze to his. “No, it wasn’t a lie. I—I used Rapture, too. Before Rory died. But I got it from him. I didn’t know who he got it from.”
