by Virna DePaul
“I love you, Tony. I always have and I always will.”
At the sound of Linda’s voice, Tony closed his eyes. Oh, God. The way her words mirrored his mental yearning almost made him dizzy. Now that she’d said the words, he didn’t doubt she meant them. She loved him.
But she’d also loved him before. And it hadn’t been enough to keep them together.
Maybe it never would be.
She was Linda Delaney. Prosecutor. Warrior woman.
And he was flawed. Too flawed.
He sensed her sit down beside him. Felt her reach out and lay her hand on his. “I’ve never said that to another man in my life, Tony. Not before you and not after you. I love you.”
Tony turned his hand so he could clasp hers. “I know that. And you know I love you so much. But I’m scared, Linda. My addiction got in the way of our happiness once before. And that was before Guapo’s men and Justine tried to kill you because of me. Someday, that’s going to sink in and—”
“I don’t blame you for their actions, Tony. I never will.”
“How can you be sure?”
“I just am. I love you,” she said.
When he didn’t respond, she said it again. “Tony, I love you.” As if repeating it would make his insecurities vanish. But it didn’t.
“I love you, Tony.”
“Damn it, don’t,” he said, suddenly standing and pulling away from her. “Don’t love me. You shouldn’t love me.”
She stood as well, her voice calm. Sure. “I can’t help it.”
“I’m not worth it, Linda. You know that. I’m nothing.”
Linda shook her head. “You’re everything. I love you. Despite your addiction. Despite the problems and hard times we’ve faced. I love you and I trust you. God, Tony.” Linda’s voice grew harsh with emotion. “I let you go before. I know now it was a mistake.”
“You’re only saying that because you know I’ve remained clean. But there’s no guarantee I won’t slip up in the future, just like you thought I had before.”
“No, there’s no guarantee you won’t, but I can guarantee this. I won’t stop loving you, Tony. And I won’t leave you. Not ever again. I’m standing here giving you my heart. Don’t break it by walking away from me. I want a future with you and that’s never going to change.”
Could she be telling the truth? He mentally cursed at himself. Of course she was telling the truth. The question was, was she right? Could he allow himself to believe her? Could he allow himself to believe in them?
But what other choice did he have? He could either take a risk and try his best to keep her, try his best to deserve her or he could spend the rest of his life without her.
Cautiously, he stepped toward her. “I’ve been thinking about getting a pet. A dog. What—what do you think about that? You want to get one together?”
She smiled. “How about a cat and a dog?”
Tony laughed. And all of a sudden, he believed.
Chapter 32
As she stared at the stone entrance of Folsom Prison, Linda couldn’t know how she’d react to seeing her father for the first time in over twenty years. She couldn’t know if the love he’d expressed for her in his letters was enough to open a dialogue between them and enable her to move beyond his past weaknesses, as well as her own, to forge any kind of relationship, let alone one that resembled father and daughter.
Likewise she couldn’t know that Tony had beaten his addiction forever, that he’d never give in to temptation and start taking pain pills again, or that other problems wouldn’t threaten to drive a wedge between in the years to come.
There were no guarantees.
Except for one.
She wasn’t perfect. Tony wasn’t perfect. No one was. Not even Dom or Mattie, the woman who’d sent Linda that fax encouraging her to trust her instincts about Tony.
Whether someone was a waiter, a prosecutor, a cop, a judge or a little girl, it didn’t matter. They’d possess strengths and weaknesses alike.
No, love didn’t guarantee a happily ever after. But it certainly made striving for one a lot more fun, and Linda was enjoying her reunion with Tony and his family to the fullest.
Taking a deep sigh, Linda tightened her fingers around Tony’s. He was staring down at her, sharing his strength just as he always did. Just the way she gave him strength when he needed it.
After only a few more weeks of trying and with some help from Brian Heald, who had been more than ready to cut a deal, Tony and his team had successfully identified the major suppliers of Rapture in Sacramento. Now he was working as a regular patrol officer. According to him, he’d spent far too long hiding from who he was and he had no wish to go undercover ever again. Occasionally, he still had doubts about whether he was “good” enough to be a cop, but she reminded him everyday how silly his doubts were. Even if he’d never caught the Rapture suppliers, Tony’s goodness and determination left her with no doubt that he made the world a better and safer place.
He made her a better person, too.
“You can do this,” he said.
“I know. With you beside me, I can do almost anything.”
“Almost?” he teased. He wiggled his eyebrows up and down. “That sounds like a challenge.”
She snorted. “And you love a challenge.”
He liked to tease her about her wild side, and that occasionally resulted in them having sex in less than conventional places, but he was protective of her, too. It didn’t matter that she’d withdrawn her name from the judicial campaign; he took care that nothing they ever did together could come back to shame her. It was his mission in life that she never feel shame again, and though she knew it wasn’t something he could actually accomplish, she loved him all the more for trying.
He raised her hand to his lips and kissed it. “I love you more. Once an addict, always an addict.”
She smiled, glad they could joke about something that had once brought them so much pain and still very well could.
Nope, there were no guarantees, but trying was everything, and so long as Tony tried to be the man she knew him to be, so long as she tried to be the best she could be, they’d be able to overcome any challenge that came their way.
The past month had been hard on him, but it appeared that finally the worst was over. She took some comfort in the fact that, even though Justine had tried to kill her, Justine had also given Tony the information to save her life.
Since Heald’s arrest, Tony had visited Justine in the hospital twice, and in jail once. The last visit had been to say goodbye. He’d done what he could to help her, but that was over now. He insisted he couldn’t maintain a relationship with someone who’d acted to end Linda’s life.
Even so, Tony had made sure Justine received word that the Rapture supplier had been caught. Hopefully that would give her some measure of peace.
“So,” Linda said. “There’s something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about. Do you remember when I left you at the hospital with Justine that last time? When I asked you to meet me at my house?”
He nodded. “You said you wanted to show me something.”
“Things got a little crazy and I never had the chance to make what I wanted to show you.”
“You were going to make me something? What?”
She hesitated, suddenly feeling shy despite the fact they’d been living together for well over a month and she was absolutely secure in their love for one another. But Tony was the bravest person she knew. She could be brave, too. “Cookies,” she said. “I wanted to show you chocolate-chip cookies.”
His brows lifted in surprise. “Uh...cookies, huh? Well, that’s great.”
She nodded. “I was going to make them even though they wouldn’t be as good as yours. But I was...I was hoping you’d help me with that.”
He continued to look confused, but as he absorbed what she was saying, understanding flashed across his face. Instead of smiling as she’d been expecting him to, however, he swallowed hard and suddenly looked nervous himself. Hopeful, but nervous. “What are you saying, Linda?”
“I’m saying that I want you to help me make chocolate-chip cookies. But only after you tell me your secret ingredient.”
“Is that right?” he said cautiously. “Because I’ve always said there’s only one way I’ll tell you that secret ingredient. Or have you forgotten that?”
“Nope. I haven’t forgotten. You said you’d only tell me once we were married,” she confirmed.
She smiled at him and slowly, surely, he smiled back at her.
“Then I think, after we’re done here, that we should definitely go shopping.”
“For a ring?” she teased.
“For a ring, yes. And cookie ingredients.”
* * * * *
Keep reading for an excerpt from Cowboy with a Cause by Carla Cassidy.
We hope you enjoyed this Harlequin Romantic Suspense title.
You want sparks to fly! Harlequin Romantic Suspense stories deliver, with strong and adventurous women, brave and powerful men and the life-and-death situations that bring them together.
Enjoy four new stories from Harlequin Romantic Suspense every month!
Visit Harlequin.com to find your next great read.
We like you—why not like us on Facebook: Facebook.com/HarlequinBooks
Follow us on Twitter: Twitter.com/HarlequinBooks
Read our blog for all the latest news on our authors and books: HarlequinBlog.com
Subscribe to our newsletter for special offers, new releases, and more!
Harlequin.com/newsletters
Chapter 1
Adam Benson sat in his pickup truck parked at the curb and stared at the two-story house out his passenger-side window. It was a nice place, painted pale beige with rust-colored trim. A large tree in the front yard sported all the colors of autumn, with bright red and orange leaves beginning to group at the base.
The Room for Rent sign had been in the front window for a couple of months, and for the past few weeks each time Adam drove by the place, he’d considered the possibility of checking it out.
Shoving a hand into the pocket of his lightweight black jacket, he found the two small plastic chips inside and rubbed them together as he considered his next move.
There was no question that he was in transition. With two months of sobriety behind him and a ranch that no longer felt like his home, he knew it was time to make some significant changes in his life.
With a new decisiveness, he opened the truck door and got out. Great location, he told himself as he looked down Main Street. This house was one of the last on the block that hadn’t been sold and torn down to make room for commercial property. From here he could easily walk the main drag of the small town of Grady Gulch.
He turned back to look at the house. The place had belonged to Olive Brooks for as long as he could remember. The older woman had been a fixture in town, working at the post office and involved in every charity event. Then about a year ago she’d become ill with cancer and her only daughter had come to town from someplace back east to nurse her. Olive had passed away and her daughter had remained in the house.
It was a little strange. Nobody around town that Adam had spoken to seemed to have seen Melanie Brooks since her mother’s death, although he’d heard a few unpleasant rumors about her.
He jingled his sobriety chips once again. He knew personally about gossip and ugly rumors. In the past year he and his family had experienced enough of both to last a lifetime.
He finally sighed, irritated with his own hesitation. “Doesn’t hurt to check it out,” he muttered under his breath as he headed toward the front porch.
Next door to the house the pizza place was in full lunch swing, the scents of robust sauce and spicy sausage filling the air. Adam’s stomach rumbled, and he decided that after checking out the room for rent, he’d head to the Cowboy Café for lunch. Although the pizza smelled great, at noon the place was usually overrun by high school kids grabbing a slice of pizza before their afternoon classes began.
Besides, the Cowboy Café was the place in town to get a hearty meal and a healthy serving of what people were saying and thinking. In the past couple of months it had felt more like home than the ranch where he’d grown up.
As he walked up the stairs to the porch, he noticed that the railing was more than a little wobbly and needed to be replaced. Up close the house paint wasn’t quite as fresh as it appeared from the street. A little TLC was definitely needed, he thought, not that it was his problem. That was one of the luxuries of not owning where you lived: you weren’t responsible for any of the maintenance.
He knocked on the door, and as he waited for a reply, he turned and looked back at the street where his truck was parked. Within an hour everyone in town would know that he’d been here. That was the way things worked in small towns like Grady Gulch. There were few secrets that could be sustained for any length of time.
However, there was one person in town who was keeping a dark, evil secret, a person who had murdered two women in their beds. So far law enforcement and everyone else had no idea who that killer might be and if or when he might strike again. The murders of two women who had worked as waitresses at the popular café had definitely put a gray pall over the town.
He shoved this disturbing thought aside and knocked again, this time hearing a woman’s voice respond for him to hang on. The door finally opened and he got his first look at Melanie Brooks.
Stunning. She was absolutely stunning, with pale blond hair that fell to her shoulders in soft waves and eyes that were bluer than any he’d ever seen before. She was slender and wore a pair of black slacks, a black blouse and an irritated scowl that looked permanently etched onto her face. He couldn’t discern how tall she might be as she sat in a wheelchair.
Adam swept his cowboy hat from his head, quickly raked his fingers through his dark hair and hoped his shock at her condition didn’t show on his face. “Good afternoon. I’m Adam Benson and I’m here about the room for rent.”
She blinked in obvious surprise and there was a long, awkward silence.
“You have a sign in your window? A room for rent?” he prompted.
She used her arms to move herself backward and then gestured for him to step into the foyer. “Adam Benson,” she mused, her eyes narrowed as her gaze held his. “I heard you were a drunk.”
Adam took a step back, stunned by her unexpected words. “I was,” he admitted with painful honesty. “But I’m not drinking anymore. And the rumors I heard about you were that you’re a sour, rude and cranky woman. The verdict is still out on that.”
Her eyes narrowed even more. “You have a big ranch on the edge of town. Why would you need to rent a room?”
“My brother, his new wife and son have all moved into the ranch house and I’m looking for a change of address.” His decision to leave the house where he’d grown up was far more complicated than that, but he figured Melanie didn’t need to know the details. “So, can I see the room?”
“It’s actually more than just a room. Follow me.” She moved out of the foyer and into a large, airy living room with a staircase that led up to the second floor. She stopped at the foot of the staircase, the dainty frown still etched in her forehead.
For somebody who had had a sign hanging in the window for months, she seemed r
eluctant to allow him to see the space she was renting. Was her reluctance based on the fact that he was a male? Or was it specifically aimed at him personally? Certainly the reputation of all the Benson brothers had taken a beating in the past year, but over the past couple of months things had calmed down.
“Look, Ms. Brooks, I just need a place to hang my hat. I’m not looking for any trouble. I’ll pay the rent on time and be a respectful tenant. Speaking of rent, what are you looking to get each month?”
She told him a figure that seemed a little high and he wondered if she’d done it on purpose to chase him away or if she’d intended to ask for that kind of money from anyone who showed an interest.
“Sounds good,” he replied.
“I’m actually renting the entire second floor. I’m certainly not using any of the rooms upstairs.” A touch of bitterness laced her voice. “Go on up and have a look around.”
Adam nodded, and as he climbed the stairs, he wondered what had put her in the wheelchair. He reminded himself that it—that she—was none of his business. He was simply looking for peace and quiet, for a haven where he could gather himself together and figure out what exactly he wanted to do with the rest of his life.
The upstairs was comprised of three bedrooms and a bathroom. One of the rooms was set up like a sitting room, with a sofa, a television and an overstuffed chair with a reading lamp behind it. Adam could easily visualize himself in that big chair in the evenings, leisurely reading the newspaper or a novel.
The view from the window was of Main Street, and he stood for a moment and looked outside, trying to get a feel for the space.
The bedrooms were decorated in earth tones, making them feel neither masculine nor feminine but simply functional. The larger of the two bedrooms was located next to the sitting room and also had a view of Main Street out the window. Everything was neat and tidy and it all felt oddly right to him.
