by Liza Brown
The kiss stopped and he looked into me. “Stop it, Mae. Promise me. No more ‘sorries.’”
“I don’t think I can. They’re in my nature. I think they’re a remnant of my past.”
“What do you mean?”
I shook my head and smiled as I stepped away from him. “It’s nothing. Forget it.”
“You sure?”
I nodded. “Yeah, I’m sure.”
I could tell he was battling with whether or not to reply. I was glad he chose not to. “Well, go get ready for bed, I still want to have that talk.”
I looked at the clock and saw it was nearing three in the morning but I wasn’t tired. I’d been looking forward to this conversation all day. I quickly showered and got ready for bed. I threw on an old chop shop shirt I had converted to a tank top and a pair of pajama pants. When I emerged from the bathroom, Elsu was turning the covers back on the bed, my blanket that I had used the night before was laying over the rocking chair that sat in the corner of my room.
I went to grab it and Elsu took it from me. “Can we talk first?”
My stomach flipped in anticipation of this conversation. Where was he hoping this would go? I had slept the previous night on top of the covers with my blanket and I was completely ok with that. Keeping the comforter and sheet as a ‘chastity’ barrier was a nice safety zone. Besides, I really didn’t like sleeping under covers as it was.
I sat down on the corner of the bed. “Ok, let’s talk.”
Elsu sat, leaving some space between us. He turned to face me and I did the same to him.
“Mae, we need to discuss something that I think I may have been too late in telling you.”
“Ok,” I said.
“After you left with Tonesha today I thought maybe I shouldn’t have let you. Not because I didn’t want you to go, but because she’s a talker and I was afraid of what she might say.”
I nodded.
“Mae, I may have led you on before. I’m not as experienced sexually as you might think.”
“But you said you used to stay the night with Saraya in her hotel when she came to visit you.”
“I may have exaggerated a bit about that. I mean we would kiss a little, but I never went any further.”
“Ok, but she told me you were an animal in bed and I wouldn’t be able to keep up with you because I wasn’t woman enough,” I said.
Elsu shrugged. “That’s a really strange message to leave you with. Maybe she was trying to scare you away? I don’t know why she would have said that. It’s not true. Well…I don’t know about the animal part being true. I do know you’re woman enough.” He smiled at me. That mouth.
“Ok, I’ll admit that I’d heard rumors.”
“Who?” asked Elsu.
“Do you promise not to get mad?”
He took a deep breath and nodded.
“Your buddy, Phil Handler,” I said.
“Shithead,” said Elsu.
“Don’t be mad. I think he thought I knew. He let it slip when I walked him out to catch his cab this morning before you got up.”
“I can’t be mad at him, but still. Shithead.”
“While we’re on the subject of Phil, you know you could have warned me that the sexiest man in Hollywood was your best friend.”
“The sexiest man in Hollywood?”
“Yeah. I mean. Well…Ok, I’m a fan of his.”
“Oh, I see how it is. You’re just using me to get to Phil.” Elsu was lucky his skill was on the court and not in front of a camera. He was a poor actor.
I smiled at him and shook my head. “I had no idea. But seriously, have you ever looked at that DVD collection I have out there?” I pointed toward my living room.
“I honestly never paid attention, Mae. I’m usually looking at you when I’m here.”
I narrowed my eyes at him, trying to gauge the direction of his statement. “You are sly,” I laughed.
“What? Seriously, you’re in the room? I’m looking at you. There’s nothing nor no one I’d rather look at.” I could tell he was being serious now and I blushed as I turned away.
“Ok, back to the conversation.”
“Why are we changing the topic?”
“Because you make me blush.”
He leaned over and kissed my cheeks. “Blushing just means the guardian angels are washing their wings.”
“What?”
“I used to be terribly shy and easily embarrassed when I was a kid. Mom said it was just a sign that the guardian angels were washing their wings.”
“Your mom sure likes guardian angels.”
“Oh yeah, most people think you only get one. Mom says you have one for every situation. It’s a tradition in her family.”
“It’s sweet. She seems like a nice person.”
“She is. Someday I’d like you to meet her.”
My eyes widened. “Meet her? Like in person?”
“I’m pretty sure that’s what that means.”
“I’ll just admire her from afar. I don’t have a lot of luck with moms.”
“You don’t have good luck with your mom. My mom is a lot different.”
I sighed. “Well I’m not going to worry about that now I guess.” I readjusted my position and faced him more directly.
“Ok, back to the conversation,” he said.
“Ok, I also heard about you from Tonesha. She said that Saraya had tried to spread the rumor a while ago but no one believed her. Today while shopping she somehow managed to figure out by looking at me that I’m inexperienced and she got all giddy over thinking that you might be. She said it made us perfect for each other.”
“So you’re not mad at me?” he asked.
“Why would I be mad? I am kind of confused, though. You’ve said some things to me that made me think you knew what you were doing. Some innuendos that kind of made me well…crazy.”
“Yeah, I’m sorry about that. But nothing I’ve said has been untrue. I look at you and my heart seems to beat a little faster. I just think about you and I want to do things to you I’ve only ever seen in ummm…you know, porn.”
“Porn?” I asked.
“Hey, I’ve never had sex, but I am a growing boy. I’ve watched porn. Although in the last week I haven’t had to. There’s only been one person on my mind.” He held my hand as he smiled slyly.
I pulled away quickly and scooted a little further from him. “So let me get this straight, you’re 28 years old, never had sex, you’ve known me a week and have decided you want to lose your virginity to me?”
“Makes me sound kind of creepy, huh?”
“No. I just don’t know why anyone would want to do something so important with someone like me.”
“Like you?”
“Yeah. Simpleton. Junkyard bitch.”
“Oh Mae,” he kissed the back of my hand with the lightest, feathery kiss. “It honestly kills me to hear you talk like that. You are amazing.”
I blushed again and smiled as I looked to my feet.
“I want so badly to get into that head and scrub those thoughts away. You’re gorgeous, funny, kind…”
I shook my head. “You’re going to need a really strong bleach and a sturdy scrub brush. Those aren’t thoughts. They’re stains. They’ve been there since the day I was born I think. If my twin brother and sister are my mom’s greatest accomplishment, I’m her greatest disappointment.”
Elsu sighed and looked deep into my eyes. “Well, I’m prepared to do whatever it takes to make you know the truth. These shoulders aren’t big for nothing. They know how to scrub.”
I laughed as I touched his left bicep. It wasn’t protruding like it does when he’s in player mode, but it was still there. Strong, rounded, and firm. “And here I was thinking they helped you throw balls through a hoop.”
He watched as I ran my fingers to his hand. His smile was hypnotizing as he turned his golden eyes to me. “I think they’ve found a new purpose in life. They seem to like holding you.”
; “Do they now? I like being held by them, that’s for sure. I must say, these things took my breath away at the first game.”
Elsu squeezed my hands gently in his as he smiled again. We sat quietly for a few moments before he continued. “Mae, when I was in high school my dad was adamant that if I wanted to do the basketball thing I had to ignore the affections of the girls. He didn’t want me going off getting all the girls pregnant. So the only dates I was allowed to go on were to the few dances I went to. Nothing ever happened between me and any of those girls. Not even a kiss. When I got to college I had a full ride and again, dad was on my ass the whole time making sure I was making the grade to his standards. I didn’t have time for girls then, either.”
“You know, other than telling me that your dad was the half of you that gave you your Native American heritage, this is the first I’ve heard about him,” I said.
“He died a couple years ago. He was a good man. His family disowned him when he started dating my mom. He’s from a small tribe and they wanted him to keep his bloodline pure. He worked hard for us to have what we needed. The fact that he had given up his family for mom was always in the back of everyone’s minds. I miss him. I wish he could see me now. He would have loved you.” He rubbed the back of his hand along my jaw.
I saw a shimmer of a tear floating in his beautiful eyes. I leaned into his touch and kissed him lightly on his palm. “I’m sorry, Elsu. I had no idea.”
“Don’t be sorry, how would you have known? Very few people do.”
I saw the tear in his eye finally work its way to his lashes. I scooted toward him and wiped it away with my thumb. I kissed him fully on his lips.
He closed his eyes for a long sigh then looked down to me. “Thank you.”
I smiled and waited for him to continue his story.
“So after Ohio State I went straight to Phoenix as you might know. My relationship with Saraya was more of an arranged marriage than a dating relationship. My publicist and her publicist are friends and they decided we would be good for each other. She would get more exposure being with me, and I would look more man-of-the-world-ish if I was with her. We liked each other enough at first but she got frustrated with my schedule, plus she hated basketball.” He smiled at the absurdity. “I think she came into town just to make it look like she was visiting me. There were times I’d find out she had been in town days after the fact. She told me she loved me. I could never tell her the same. I never felt an ounce of what I feel with you when I was with her.”
I smiled at his words. “Max said you’re sly. If he ever needs a new wife he’s coming to you for the good lines,” I smiled.
“He’s crazy. But please know, these aren’t lines. I don’t know what it is about you but you’ve sucked me in and have me totally wrapped up in the Mae whirlwind.”
“And what a whirlwind it’s been,” I said as I shook my head.
“I can definitely say there hasn’t been a dull moment since last weekend.”
I laughed again.
He gently put his hand to my chin and I leaned into it, closing my eyes and absorbing his warmth. “Elsu,” I said in a whisper. “I still want to take it slow. I’m not ready to take that next step yet.”
He reached for my chin, and turned me to look into his eyes. “I’m not going to lie, Mae. I’m pretty sure I’m ready. I don’t know why, or how, but since that day at my house I felt an attraction. Then at the hospital, when we were visiting Brandon, there was no denying it, I was hooked. But I don’t want to do this until the fear is gone.”
I looked at him, questioning his statement.
“This whole thing with Bart and Jeremy and your truck and the elevator has you petrified, I see the fear in your eyes. You are really good at acting strong, but I can see through it. It’s killing me to watch you in pain.”
“This whole thing has me confused. I don’t know who would have anything against me. At least not to this extent.”
“I want to figure this out with you. I’m prepared to put everything into finding out who is doing this shit. No one should be forced to live in fear. I want to get rid of that fear for you so we can take that next step.” He took my hand and kissed it, sending shivers up my arm. “Mae, if and hopefully when you get to that point where you are ready, I want your mind, heart, and body to be nowhere else but with me. I don’t want some asshole stalker anywhere in that beautiful head of yours. I want to see the Mae I saw before Little José was ruined, again.”
“I won’t lie either, I’ve fallen for you and definitely have a physical attraction. You’re all I think about pretty much every minute of the day. I’ve pictured every part of your body in my head. These shoulders are the sexiest things I’ve ever seen in my life.” I ran my fingers in circles over his muscles. “I want to touch you and I want to be touched by you, but you’re right. I have too much baggage right now and I don’t want to be reminded of my past when I’m with you. I’m so embarrassed about what happened in the media room today. I need to figure out how to control these feelings. I’ve never had them before.”
“Don’t be embarrassed about that! That was the hottest thing I’ve ever witnessed in my entire life!” He scooted his body closer to mine and wrapped his bare arms around me. “I could die a happy man knowing that I was able to give you such pleasure just from the sound of my voice. I’d give anything to have the chance to do it again someday.”
I buried my body into his embrace and was undoubtedly the happiest, most content girl in the world right then.
I soon had an idea and sat up. “I know I said I’m not ready for sex. But I do have one skill that you might find…enjoyable.”
“Skill?” he seemed intrigued.
“Lean back against the headboard,” I ordered and he did. I leaned over him and kissed his lips then his neck and shoulders. I made my way down his jersey-covered chest and abs, giving kisses as I went. Once I was to his waistband I started to slide it down.
He grabbed my hands and stopped me. “What are you doing?”
“Can I return the favor from this afternoon?” I asked.
He sighed, a look of almost disgust crossed his face. “You can’t possibly want to do that.”
“What do you mean? I can’t think of anything I want to do more right now.”
“Slow, Mae. Remember?”
I was confused. This was the second time he had rejected my advances. The first time was not one of my finer moments, but this time was different. I wanted to so bad my mouth was watering.
“Are you deformed?”
“What?”
“Why don’t you want me?” It didn’t come out right, but it was too late. It was kind of how I suddenly felt.
“After everything we just discussed you really think I don’t want you?”
“No, that’s not what I meant! Is there something you don’t want me to see? I want to pleasure you. The last time I offered, you turned me down, and I know why. I was trying to offer myself as gratitude. But now it’s happened twice and I don’t want to screw this up. I don’t want you to not accept my offering.” God, I was sounding desperate.
Elsu shook his head slowly. “No, I’m not deformed. But what will you get out of it?”
“Pleasing you. Now let me.” I reached back to his waistband and this time he allowed me to lower his pants.
I had pictured his manhood in my mind’s eye for a week but nothing I had imagined prepared me for what stood before me. “Wow,” was all I could say.
“You don’t have to do this,” he whispered. “If it’s too much, I’ll understand.”
I didn’t speak another word. I reached for him and brought my mouth to the head as I knelt between his legs. A heady cocktail of salt, sweat, and soap filled my mouth and nose as I tasted him for the first time.
My ministrations didn’t take long before I heard his breathing start to catch and saw his stomach begin to suck in. “Mae,” my name on his tongue was a whispered hiss. I continued as he latched his fingers into
my hair and tried to get me to stop. I knew what he was doing, but I wasn’t planning to come up for air until he was sated. “Mae!” His entire body spasmed as I felt the first splash hit the back of my throat. I swallowed his gift greedily. Once he had finished, I removed my mouth and hands and looked at him with a smile.
“That. Was. Incredible,” he gasped. He was out of breath, his head dotted with perspiration.
I went to get up to brush my teeth, but he pulled me to him and kissed me. “Thank you,” I whispered.
“Why the hell are you thanking me?” he asked as he gripped me around my arms and pulled me to him like a teddy bear.
“For letting me please you.”
“Oh Mae, that…that was beyond pleasing me. That was. Wow.”
“You’ve really never…?”
I could tell by the way his head moved that he was telling me ‘no’. He really was new to all of this.
“How did you know…” he stopped. “I don’t want to know. Never tell me. Oh my God, Mae!”
I finally stood and he readjusted his pants as I went to turn out the lights in the room. I slid under the blankets with him and we fell fast asleep. I’m pretty sure I slept with a smile on my face the entire night.
CHAPTER 6
Seven o’clock comes quickly when you don’t get to sleep until four. My alarm went off, alerting me to the fact that I needed to get to work. I smiled as I looked to Elsu who was laying on his stomach with his arms wrapped around his pillow. His strong shoulders just begging to be kissed. So I did.
“Mmmm,” I heard a grumble from him.
“Mount Elsu stirs,” I whispered into his ear.
“Mount Elsu?” he asked sleepily as he turned his bedhead-hair-covered face to look at me.
“You’re too big to just be my rock. I’m calling you Mount Elsu.”
“Well, you sure made Mount Elsu erupt last night,” he said as he turned to his side, propping his head in his hand. “Do you have to go to work?”
“Yes, I do. I’ve already missed too much time. You can take a nap when you get there. The warehouse guys have a secret napping space that they don’t think I know about.”
