by Charlyne Yi
DEDICATION
for you
CONTENTS
Dedication
Introduction
Chapter I: Forgive Me Egg Interlude
Chapter II: Bernard the Sailor Music Interlude
Chapter III: She’s All Legs Love Interlude
Chapter IV: The Crescendo Growing Interlude
Chapter V: Strange Love Beast Interlude
Chapter VI: Wrinkles
Words of Farewell
About the Author
Credits
Copyright
About the Publisher
INTRODUCTION
Hi. My name is Charlyne. I am . . . an adult. I wasn’t always an adult. I used to be a little kid. I didn’t really have friends back then, even imaginary ones didn’t want to hang out with me. I spent most of my time alone, daydreaming. With that I grew a really strong imagination. Super buff. But I lived mostly in my head and didn’t know how to function in the real world until . . .
One day, I turned 18 and POOF I became an adult! I moved out and started to do comedy. I had to live in my car, but it wasn’t safe to sleep there at night. So I stayed up at night like Batman and drank lots of coffee in diners . . . just like Batman. By day I slept at the park and became friends with homeless folks and regulars at bars. These people opened their hearts up to me, trying to teach me things that they had learned.
And it was the magic of us exchanging these bubbles of memories and stories that allowed us to connect, pass time, and laugh while we cried . . .
Like the strangers that opened up to me, I’d like to share something with you: I’d like to share with you my heart and the memories that changed my life.
Alright . . . deep breath. Here we go!
It was night. And a chimney puffed clouds of smoke,
giving company to the other clouds in the sky.
Something big was happening in a little house.
Old Ms. Jenkins was giving birth to a giant!
She thought,
“He looks nothing like me, his face is much too big.
Mine is small and narrow.
I definitely did not give birth to this baby.”
“I’m sorry but you’re too big for me to love.
I don’t have enough love in me to love you, for I am
small.”
Fearful of what she had created, she banished her only son.
The infant couldn’t make his mother love him.
So he had to learn how to walk on his own.
And so, he took his first steps
out and into the world . . .
. . . searching to belong.
A villager moved closer and studied the visitor.
“Look at him, he’s not like us!
“Well, actually, he’s exactly like us BUT BIGGER!
“And that’s just not normal . . . he’s a monster,” the angry man concluded.
The angry villager introduced the town to him,
“Monster, this is our town . . .
Town, this is an unwelcome MONSTER!”
The infant was never taught how to speak so he couldn’t explain he meant no harm.
Ready to destroy him they threw their fists into the air, when SUDDENLY, the tiniest boy of all time came to the rescue. He stood as tall as he could between them, because he too knew what it was like to be unloved because of his size.
A cloudy memory stormed into the tiny boy’s head.
“Congratulations, I heard you had a baby,” a neighbor greeted. “I would love to meet him.”
“Of course,” the excited father replied.
The father brought his tiny baby out, “Here he is, isn’t he beautiful?”
“Where is he?” the confused neighbor asked.
The neighbor laughed right in their faces,
“You have an ANT for a son?!”
She went about her way, the parents hearing every “HA” as she laughed all the way home.
Now, this didn’t exactly happen.
After all, this is a cloudy memory.
However, his parents were awfully
embarrassed of their tiny son, and he
was able to feel those big feelings.
“Never again,” the tiny boy thought to himself.
“From hence on, I shall be heard.”
The villagers were still angry.
And with a toss of a stone . . .
. . . the baby was dead.
The tiny boy cried tiny tears from his tiny face.
Ashamed of his tears, he hid his tiny face inside the giant’s giant face.
The boy decided to move the giant
toward the ocean to give him a proper burial.
And along came a cry.
It was Old Ms. Jenkins.
But it was too late.
“I’m sorry, I’m not your son.”
At first she didn’t believe him, but she looked into his eyes and knew he was telling the truth.
She leaned on his shoulder,
and the two strangers walked the giant
to the sea.
The end.
Which one is my head: This egg? Or my head?
Egg Interlude
Bernard had woken up from a bad dream, only to realize he was living it: Bernard felt stuck.
Every day he ordered the same thing at the same place, hoping that would make people remember him.
“I’ll have my usual.”
“And what would that be?” asked the waiter.
“Two eggs and some tea please.”
“Mmhmm . . .”
Bernard didn’t feel special in his life. He worked at a modest pillow factory.
And with every pillow he stuffed with feathers, the emptier he felt inside.
He was a hard worker and saved up for eight years but still Bernard couldn’t afford the tallest hat in the world. So he succumbed to other strategies . . .
Bernard was a man of pride. He wanted to look good and feel good. He often daydreamed about owning a tall hat and all the amazing qualities that come with it—like power, respect, and mysteriousness.
Bernard loved his new hat.
He was excited to show it off.
The bar folk loved Bernard’s hat so much that they decided to celebrate by carrying him all over town.
They passed the time shop. Through the window Bernard saw the pretty lady he was secretly in love with. He had been enamored with her just about as long as he had been with his hat: eight strong years.
Bernard had never felt brave enough to speak to her . . . til now.
“Here, put me down here please,” Bernard politely requested.
His fans stood there smiling and waiting. Bernard turned to them and kindly said, “Thank you, I can take it from here.” And they left him to it.
Bernard’s hat wouldn’t fit through the door. His heart grew heavy with concern. How could he ever win the affection of the beautiful woman without his hat? He tried not to worry. He removed his hat, hugged it close and took the deepest breath he had ever taken in his life . . .
“Hi.”
“Oh, hi.”
Bernard tried to conjure something else to say, “Want to see me with my hat on? I’m handsome.”
The girl laughed, “What?”
“I mean—people really love my hat. Come outside and see it on my head.”
“I can see it from here, thank you.”
“Wait!” He ran outside.
He delicately placed it onto the crown of his head and pointed, “Nice huh? You’ve gotta come outside and see the whole thing!”
“PUH-LEEEEZZE,” he pleaded.
She sighed and stepped outside. She stared and nodded, “You’re right. It is a nice hat.”
And just like that a gust of win
d blew it right off Bernard’s head and into the sky. The woman could not help but laugh. And off they went chasing the tallest hat in the world.
“I’m Ellie by the way!”
“I’m Bernard, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you.” He ran and smiled through the misery of his hat mishap. And then . . . the hat flew completely out of sight.
Bernard looked through his telescope but could not spot his hat anywhere.
He thought, “Maybe I’m looking through this wrong!” and flipped the telescope around.
Ellie moved closer to Bernard and leaned into the eyepiece. “Oh my!” She stepped back startled.
“What? What’d you see?”
“Nothing . . .” replied Ellie.
He stared at her, uncertain of what to think.
“Okay my turn. It’s only fair.”
He flipped the telescope and gazed into it. Bernard had no idea the telescope was powerful enough to look into the pit of Ellie’s soul . . . which was glowing, full of beauty and magic.
“. . . So when you said you saw nothing, you weren’t kidding.”
Ellie nodded, she played with her locket, she was nervous, “Where’s your soul?”
He sighed and sat on a rock. Embarrassed he slipped his words under his breath, “. . . I sold it to the Devil.”
“Can you get it back?” asked Ellie.
“I traded it for the hat . . .” Bernard couldn’t even look at her.
Ellie put her hand on his shoulder, “Don’t you worry, we’ll find it together. And then you’ll get your soul back!”
“C’mon, I think it flew this way,” Ellie pointed.
They both jumped into the water and made their way into the Swamp.
They asked the Ancient Frog, guardian of the Swamp, if he had seen Bernard’s hat.
“So it was YOUR very tall hat that made me choke!” he croaked.
“Yes, the wind took it from me! I did not mean for you to choke on it,” bowed Bernard.
The Frog croaked again, “You are forgiven. You may retrieve your hat from my belly.”
“WAIT! How can we trust you’re not just trying to eat us?!” asked Bernard.
Ellie took out the telescope, “I can see it! But it’s far.”
“You have exactly fifteen minutes before my digestion begins, or my acids will break your bodies apart and you will die,” warned the Frog.
“We understand,” Ellie nodded and took Bernard’s hand, and up they climbed into the Frog’s mouth.
As they entered, the Frog’s mouth started to close. And as it got darker, glowing, floating lights began to dance
. . . fireflies.
A firefly floated toward them, “Hey kids, heard about your mission. Hop on my back and let’s lickety-split outta here before the bile comes!”
“What’s in it for you?” asked Bernard.
“HA. I wanna help because I can! Wouldn’t you? My life span’s almost over—least I can do is spend it doing something meaningful.”
“Thank you so much for your kindness,” Ellie replied.
“Of course little lady. C’mon, let’s play with fire!”
They flew through the wild winds of the Ancient Frog’s breath, but the winds were too strong, and they lost control, crashing right into a web.
They crashed into the web of a cathedral. A praying mantis rubbed his hands together and smiled.
“I had prayed for more company . . . I’ve been alone for so long,” whispered the Praying Mantis as he untied them from the web.
Bernard scratched his chin, “How long have you been here?”
“Ninety-seven days . . .”
“What? But how? The bile . . .”
“I’ve been drinking the bile and praying to the Gods to make me immune to it. And they have blessed me and I have been able to sustain life down here. Come, I can save you. Pray and drink with me.”
The Praying Mantis brought a glass of green liquid.
“What happened to these guys?” Bernard pointed to bodies of insects lying on the ground with spilled cups.
“Not everyone becomes immune. The Gods choose. Now it is time for your test . . .” He moved closer with the bile in his shaking hand.
As he got closer, Ellie reached for something and chucked it at his head, knocking the Praying Mantis out cold on the floor.
They made a run for it but when Bernard looked back, Ellie had gone back to pick up something. She caught up, and the three friends continued their journey.
“What’d you go back for?” asked Bernard.
She opened her hand, and in it was a locket. “My father gave me this watch before he passed . . . I’m sentimental.”
“I understand. Thank you for helping me find my hat.”
They both smiled. But the pulsating tick of her watch washed it away. “The bile is coming . . .”
The Firefly twirled and danced, dodging the falling beads of bile. But alas, this dance could not go on forever. A few droplets hit his glowing bulb.
The Firefly looked at his friends. “Sorry, kids, this is my stop . . .”
And like a firework, the Firefly exploded into brilliant light, shooting rays of color everywhere.
The glowing sparkles rained onto Ellie and Bernard and they began to glow.
The wind whispered, “I’m with you now . . . Good luck my friends.”
They walked toward what seemed like the end . . . and then they saw it . . .
. . . the tallest hat in the world!
“Let’s do this . . .” Bernard took Ellie’s hand.
He climbed to the top. Bernard couldn’t believe he was on a date with Ellie. He wondered if she knew it was a date too. He thought, “I bet I look really cool right now. I wonder if Ellie thinks so too.” He turned to see her, but when he turned he saw a giant wave of bile rise and take her down. Bernard’s heart leapt.
“Bernard! You came back for me!” Ellie kissed him on the cheek. “Oh Bernard, you should’ve saved yourself.”
He stared at her longingly, “I guess I’m sentimental too.”
Bernard took her hand. They held each other well.
“You may not have a soul, but you have a beautiful heart,” whispered Ellie.
Their hearts ached. As the bile seeped in so did the realization of knowing this was their last moment together. An old record player sat the bottom of the Frog’s belly and it began to play a sad tune.
“Dance with me,” Bernard said. Ellie nodded and they slow danced.
The bile started to take Ellie, she was growing weak and fell into his arms. “What does Heaven look like?”
“Brilliant sun shining onto golden glowing grass . . . and there’s a little cottage big enough for the two of us, with a clothesline for our little clothes. And a tall, tall swing that hangs from the moon up in the sky where I push you . . . and you laugh . . . because we’re happy together.”
Bernard and Ellie began to fade into particles.
And then there was darkness.
The end.
Music Interlude
Donald’s fingers crawled across the bed like a tiny soldier. They approached my thighs; I took a deep breath and turned over. I pretended to be asleep so Donald would resign his affection. And he did. Quickly he met his slumber, turned, and stole the blanket that was covering our distant bodies.
I tried to remember a time when the world wasn’t so crowded with loneliness, a time when I could feel the person lying next to me. But our romance had expired. What could have been love was nothing but curdled milk. I miss all the memories I can’t remember.
I got out of bed and stared at the Moon. Without words we commiserated. I could feel the world breathing. It seemed winded—like the unfortunate circumstances of reality had hit the world right in its gut when it wasn’t looking.
The Moon bid me farewell. I folded my name into a whisper and passed it along to her, “It was nice to meet you, I’m Agatha.” I watched the sky swallow her whole then roll out the next shining ball of light. It
was morning so I climbed back into bed.
As soon as I closed my eyes, Donald opened his. He reached for the TV remote and turned it on. He always hyperventilates while laughing at cartoons. Breaking news interrupted his program and Donald let out a childlike “Aww man!” then noticed I was awake. Damn. The TV was small but the news was big.
The world was collapsing and so was my heart. I couldn’t just lie there and watch it happen.
