by Charlyne Yi
“Now wait a minute, I’ve got baggage too. And it’s not every day I meet someone so honest. I’d like a chance to get to know you before you just walk out of my life forever.”
Marie stopped. She turned around and stared at Leonard, “Okay.”
“You’ll go on a walk with me?”
She nodded, “Okay.”
Leonard filled his gasoline canister for his truck.
Marie wobbled, trying to keep her balance on the train tracks. “I hope you don’t think this is going to lead to anything. I’m too old for love.”
“I hope you’re not planning on bringing your baggage with us. If you’re as old as you claim, you don’t wanna throw your back out on our first date. We may not have a second.” He took her baggage and placed it in the back of his truck.
Marie took a deep breath, “I don’t know how to small talk.”
“I don’t know how to talk.”
They stared at each other.
“I had a wife once. One day I looked at her and could tell she didn’t love me anymore. I stopped looking into her eyes after that.”
“I ignored it for as long as I could. Like a child who accidentally broke his mom’s favorite vase, I turned my shoulder because I didn’t want it to be true.”
“I tried to make her love me again—you can’t make someone love you. It’s magic. We had grown apart, she changed and I stayed exactly the same. Eventually she’d had enough so she held her heart against my head like a gun and pleaded, ‘Let me go.’ . . . So I did.”
“The guy I was in love with—we had a long-distance kinda thing. You know that part in Peter Pan when Peter flies through the window and hasn’t seen Wendy in a long time? Wendy’s back is turned toward Peter and he’s so excited to surprise her but when he grabs her shoulder Peter is so horrified to find out that Wendy is old that he faints three times and throws up. It sucks for Wendy because she has to clean up after him. The poor dame is so old that her back gives up and she dies . . . I hope I didn’t ruin the story for you.”
“Not at all,” Leonard smiled.
“So that’s the gist. He didn’t have roots or any desire to grow old and get weird with me.” She laughed a sad laugh and her eyes lost contact with Leonard’s.
“You know what I’d like to do more than anything right now?”
“What?”
“I’d like to take the rest of that gasoline and light your baggage in flames so I could watch all the pain in your eyes roll out and your face light up. And when there’s nothing but dust, I’d look back in your eyes and see that your heart was free, and that you were really looking back at me.”
Marie pulled back, afraid of a kiss, “What do you think happened to those snow globes?”
Leonard looked closer, “I think they fought for love and won.”
“Maybe we should head back,” said Marie.
They went back to the tracks they started from.
Leonard looked up to the sky and sighed.
Marie didn’t know what to say, “My feet hurt.” She walked to the truck, climbed onto it, and lay on her back.
Leonard joined her.
Marie closed her eyes, “Whenever a baby or dog stares at me, I get nervous they can see something secret and deep inside me.”
“You must get especially nervous when baby dogs are around.”
Marie laughed.
“What do you think they can see?”
“Dunno. Maybe my soul? When they bark or cry, I feel like they can see something evil in me. I feel like your eyes might have the same powers.”
She looked afraid.
“I’m pregnant.” Wind blew around Marie.
“Don’t worry . . . I’ve got a pickup truck.”
Her face was heavy but she smiled a heavy smile, “I was right about those eyes of yours . . .”
She looked at him deeply as if searching for something, “I don’t want to get hurt.”
“I don’t want to either.”
“Oh, Leonard, I think we met too late.”
“What do you mean?”
“I wish we had met when we were young and I wasn’t so broken. I wish we were in love and could overcome anything.” Marie started to cry.
“Who says we’re not in love?”
“Please don’t do this. Don’t play games with me.”
“Marie, stay with me.” He held her face in the palm of his hand.
“Don’t go getting so lost in your own head that I can’t reach you. I’ve worked so hard in my life to destroy things, things that were important to me. Open your eyes, look at me . . .” She did. “I want to fall madly in love with you, and I swear to God if you gave us a chance, our love would be so strong it could never be destroyed.”
She held him tight, “Thank you for finding me, Leonard.”
“Everything’s going to be okay, I’ve got you.”
She held him even tighter.
The next morning, the sound of the train woke Leonard up.
When he looked around the stars were gone, and so was Marie.
The end.
I killed the wild beast called Anxiety. Don’t worry everyone—you’re free.
Beast Interlude
Our contour lines have been traced by time for wearing a face for so long, that it is an honor to have a record embedded on our skin of how we were known for much of our lives.
This little lady must’ve smiled a lot. Even when she is not smiling she is smiling.
This one worried too much and wore a sexy face from time to time. Perhaps she was worried about being TOO sexy . . .
This man was ruled by his sarcasm. He stressed his skin by punctuating his jokes with raising his eyebrows and smirking. It is very difficult to take him seriously even at his most sincere moments.
If we took a finger and ran it along the grooves that fold around our souls, would it play us a song? Would we hear our heart’s soaring melody?
WORDS OF FAREWELL
If you are reading this that means you are alive, your heart is beating right now.
Thank you for existing.
Throughout life you will get hurt, but hold on tight and fight the wild beast of Anxiety. Because it’s worth it. Because you’re worth it. And you very well might be the thing that can change your own life.
May you never lose romance for the world, and if you do, that’s okay. Get out that old ladder and climb on out of your head and back into the world and exist. Because you’re important . . . from the day you were born and forever more.
There’s so much to live for, give yourself a chance.
Sincerely,
A stranger
Thank you to my handsome-hearted soul mate, Jet, for dreaming with fire and dancing with me endlessly; to my family; Mister Glover for helping me with notes and letting me pay him in eggs; and thank you to you reading this and giving this book life.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
CHARLYNE YI is a cobbler, fire-eater, comedian, and musician. She can do ten push-ups a day. She wrote and starred in the fictionalized documentary Paper Heart, for which she won the Waldo Salt Screenwriting Award at Sundance. She has also been in Knocked Up, This Is 40, and House.
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CREDITS
Cover illustration by Charlyne Yi
COPYRIGHT
OH THE MOON. Copyright © 2015 by Charlyne Yi. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.
FIRST EDITION
ISBN 978-0-06-236329-9 (pbk.)
EPub Edition Novembe
r 2015 ISBN 9780062363305
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