Chapter Nine
Ryder exited the hospital parking lot in a dark mood. It had been difficult seeing Ben so weak and out of it. The pianist had encouraged Ryder’s interest in pursuing his music more than once. Ryder guided his car into traffic, glad that his presence had at least seemed to brighten Ben’s wife’s spirits. He’d assured her that Ben would have a job at The Cove when he was ready to come back.
The visit had reminded Ryder that life was fragile and time was short, not unlike his run in with riff raff in Vegas had. He wanted to live it to the fullest, share it with someone that truly mattered…like Ari. Ryder tightened his grip on the wheel. The woman kept him on his toes and his cock hard.
Ari wasn’t the first woman he’d spanked but she was the first one who hadn’t wanted it in the beginning. He’d never anticipated her asking him to punish her or his intense reaction to doling it out.
She was his match, creatively and sexually. Last night had proven that to him, made him wish he’d never accepted their present deal. Pride had been the only reason he had. Ari’s lack of interest in exploring anything more between them without changing the terms of their previous arrangement had prompted him to accept her new one without truly thinking through the pros and cons.
The pros made his cock twitch but the cons felt like a knife slowly twisting in the gut. Ari wanted him—that was undeniable—but would she still be in his bed if it were not for their deal? When she was debt free, would she go back to Vegas to party and gamble? Ryder didn’t like the answers that popped into his head as he turned off the main road.
He glanced out of the window at his old neighborhood, surprised to see how much had changed. Ryder confirmed the address he had for Carrie on the mailbox then pulled into the driveway. He shut off the engine, got out of the car and locked it. Hearing that Cassie had been at the beach house had thrown him for a loop.
Ryder walked up to the front door and rang the bell, determined to get some answers. He glanced around the manicured lawn to the neighbor sitting on the porch watching him with unabashed curiosity. He lifted a hand in a greeting then heard movement from inside Cassie’s home. Ryder turned his head to the door as it opened. He blinked in shock at the young man who was a spitting image of him. What the fuck? It can’t be.
“Hi.”
The teenager seemed unfazed by Ryder’s presence.
“Hello. Is your mother home?”
“Yes, she is.” The young man smiled at him. “Hang on a se—”
“Nathaniel, who is it?”
Ryder shifted his gaze off of Nathaniel as Cassie appeared in the door. “Hello, Cassie.”
Cassie’s eyes widened. “Nathaniel, go finish your lunch. I’m going to take a walk around the block. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
“But—”
“Now.”
Nathaniel frowned but kept his mouth closed as he went to finish his meal. Cassie waited until he’d walked away to step outside. She closed the door then whirled on Ryder. “What in the hell are you doing here?”
“Is Nathaniel your son?” Ryder noted all of the blood draining from Cassie’s face.
“Please”—Cassie glanced back at her home—“let’s take a walk? There’s a park a few minutes away from here.”
Ryder nodded and followed her, a bad feeling settling in his gut about whatever Cassie was about to tell him. He waited until they had entered the deserted playground to turn to her. “Okay. Tell me the truth about Nathaniel, Cassie.”
Cassie drew in a shuddering breath. “Nathaniel is my son.”
Her confession stunned Ryder. “Holy shit. And you didn’t tell me? Is that why you ran off?” He cursed, feeling as if the entire world had flipped on its axis. “Because you were pregnant? I was young but I would’ve stepped up. Surely you knew that.” Ryder shook his head. “Fuck, Cassie, why didn’t you tell me?”
Tears glistened in Cassie’s eyes. “I— I didn’t tell you because Nathaniel isn’t yours.”
“Jesus, stop lying to me,” Ryder scoffed. “Other than your hair color, he looks just like me. After all of these years, I need to hear you say it. Nathaniel is my son.”
“Not yours, Ryder… Your father’s.”
Ryder froze, trying to hear Cassie over the roar in his head. “Excuse me?”
“Nathaniel…” Cassie shook her head as if what she was about to say still stunned her. “He’s Nathan’s son.”
Ryder frowned as he stared at Cassie. What she was saying was ludicrous, could not be true. His dad having sex—and a baby—with his high-school sweetheart? It was unfathomable.
“I’m sorry to be the one to give you such shocking news.” Cassie wrapped her arms around her chest. “I don’t deserve your forgiveness for my betrayal. I won’t even ask. I just want you to know we were together one time and—”
“Stop. I don’t want to hear the damn details.” Ryder rubbed the back of his neck. “Does Nathaniel know the truth?”
“He knows. He used to be happy when your dad would come into town to check on the resort. He’d bring him expensive gifts, but that’s all changed now.” Carrie blew out a breath. “Nathaniel’s older now. I think he resents Nathan not taking a more active role in his life.”
“I don’t blame him.” Ryder glanced at a SUV moving down the street. “Did your mom know about you and my…my—” Ryder shook his head. “Goddammit, this is so fucked up.”
Cassie’s expression was bleak when she looked up at him. “My mother did know.
“Wow. Just wow.” Ryder looked up at the sky then back at Cassie. “Why were you at the beach house?”
Carrie stared at him for a moment. “To talk to your dad about seeing Nathaniel before we moved. Things got heated. I lost my necklace and the cottage was the only place left I hadn’t looked for it. I remembered your dad liked to keep a key under the rock by the porch and I let myself in.”
“The necklace I gave you.”
“Yes.” Carrie briefly dropped her head. “I— I wanted it back.”
“This is unreal.”
Carrie pushed her hands into her hair. “Nathan had the same reaction at first. He started helping me out financially after I gave him proof of Nathaniel’s paternity. I’d expected Nathan to spend more time with more my son. I knew he didn’t love me. That was clear after the first time we…”
Ryder gritted his teeth in an effort to block the torrid images flooding his mind as Carrie drew in a labored breath.
“I just wanted him to love his son, his own flesh and blood.” Carrie gave a bitter laugh and the pain in her eyes shook Ryder to his core. “I kept sending him pictures and updates, hoping for Nathaniel’s sake that he’d come around more.”
Silence stretched between them and only the sound of cars passing by seemed real to Ryder. “That day when I ran into you at The Cove…you were going to tell me about all of this, weren’t you?”
“I wanted to. I almost did, but Nathan never wanted you to find out.”
Ryder steeled himself against the tears shimmering in Cassie’s eyes. “And I wouldn’t have if I hadn’t found receipts of checks made out to you.”
“Ah. Written proof of the contract I signed for my silence.” Cassie gave him another hollow laugh. “I never should’ve agreed to his terms but I was young, naïve and broke.”
Ryder observed a boy ride past on a bicycle with his dad and mom walking not too far behind him. “My mother…does she know?”
“No. I never said anything and I know your father didn’t either. He didn’t have to. Your parents moved to California shortly after you left for college.” Cassie scoffed. “Nathan wanted to put as much distance between him and me and Nathaniel as possible.”
Ryder remained silent, his mind completely blown as Cassie sighed.
“Ryder…I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine what you must be thinking about all of this…about me.”
Ryder watched Cassie pace the pavement, saddened by what she and his father had done and by what she’d had to go
through alone. It was a lot to process all at once and he couldn’t reassure her about their choices.
“Cassie, I think you’re a great mom and Nathaniel seems like a great kid. You’ve done your best to raise him well. You could’ve had an abortion or given him up but you didn’t. I’m glad you didn’t.”
Cassie nodded as she stifled a sob. “Th-thank you, Ryder. That means a lot.” Cassie straightened her shoulders. “We should get back. Nathaniel’s probably wondering where I’m at.”
“Let’s go.” Ryder walked with Cassie back to her house. He managed a tight smile as they reached her door. “Thank you for telling me the truth today. I’d like the chance to get to know my half-brother, but only if it’s okay with you.”
Cassie nodded. “I’d like that, and so would Nathaniel.”
“Good. We can talk later about making that happen.”
“You’re going to confront him, aren’t you?”
“First chance I get.”
Cassie studied him for a minute. “Don’t let this destroy your family, Ryder. Fucked up or not, it’s all you’ve got.”
“Goodbye, Cassie.”
“Goodbye.”
Ryder turned as she opened her door. He walked to his car, hit the button on his key disarming the vehicle and got in. Ryder slammed his fist on the wheel with another vehement curse. A twisted family secret was the last of all the possible scenarios he’d considered for Cassie’s visit at the beach house.
His cell vibrated against his hip. Ryder retrieved his phone to see Ari’s name on the screen and ignored the call. He tossed the device on the passenger seat as he started the engine. Ryder backed out of Cassie’s driveway faster than he needed. He made a conscious effort to push back the anger burning inside him as he slowed down. As much as he wanted to hear Ari’s voice, there was only one person he intended to talk to right now.
* * * *
Ari poured the last of the peach margarita slush she’d mixed in the blender into her glass. She took a generous sip, letting the ice melt on her tongue. “Where are you, Ryder?” Ari glanced at the clock, letting out an agitated sigh when she saw it was after midnight.
Something was very wrong. Ari had suspected it when Ryder hadn’t returned her phone call or texted back. She’d known it the instant he had entered The Cove with less than twenty minutes to spare before their set. There hadn’t been any time to talk after they had quickly discussed the details for the songs they were performing.
Amazingly, Ryder hadn’t let whatever was bothering him detract from his playing. He’d accompanied her without a hitch, but Ari had noticed his lack of interplay with her as they’d performed. She’s always felt in sync with Ryder whenever they did anything musical together, but tonight he’d had seemed closed off—even more so once they’d finished. Ari had approached him after taking her last bow, hoping they’d share dinner together, only to learn he had something to take care of.
Ari went into the candlelit living room and sat on the couch, listening to the rumbling thunder. The increased pitter-pater of rain briefly drew her attention to the skylight overhead. Lightning streaked and another loud peal of thunder made Ari jump. She loved the rain but hated thunderstorms.
Ari took another sip, grateful that her second margarita was calming her frayed nerves. She stared at the three pillar candles she’d lit, concentrating on the flickering flames. A key turning in the lock quickened Ari’s pulse. She got up, going over to the door as it opened and Ryder came in, drenched from the rain.
“What are you still doing up?” Ryder closed and locked the door before turning back to her.
“Waiting for you.”
Ryder took off his shoes. “You shouldn’t have.”
“I wanted to.” A wave of warmth whipped through Ari as his gaze swept over her lacy black nightie. She gestured at his sodden chinos and ice blue tee. “You’re all wet.”
“It’s down-pouring out there.” Ryder pulled off his T-shirt, revealing his hard abs and biceps.
“Would you like some tea?”
“Thank you, but no. That’s not what I need right now.”
“What do you need?”
Ryder reached for her, crushing her against him. “You. Naked now.”
“Mmm. I want that too but first”—Ari rose up on her tiptoes to kiss Ryder chin—“tell me what’s wrong.” Ari moved back to look into his gray eyes. “I know there’s something bothering you.”
“I don’t want to talk, Ari.” Ryder spanned her waist with his hands. “I want to fuck.”
Ari flinched at his hard tone and crude words. Whatever silly illusions she’d had about there being anything more between them than the deal she’d made splintered as she shook her head. “No.”
Ryder’s gaze narrowed. “No? Are you backing out of the arrangement you made with me now? I’ve gotta say, I’m not surprised. Didn’t I say you wouldn’t be able to handle the terms?”
His derisive tone shredded Ari. “Ryder, why are you being like this? Tell me what is going on with you.” Ari winced when Ryder tightened his hold on her.
“Being my girlfriend wasn’t part of the transaction you made. Let’s not complicate things.”
Ari blinked back tears, fighting the urge to wrench away from Ryder as spikes of pain stabbed her heart. What could she say that would change anything?
“All right.” Ari dropped her face from Ryder’s. She reached up, pushing the thin straps of her babydoll style nightgown off of her shoulders. The silky gown slipped over her breasts and gathered on top of Ryder’s hands, still gripping her midriff. She lifted her chin and leveled her gaze at Ryder, trying not to tremble with emotion beneath his silent, brooding appraisal. “Fuck me then.”
Ryder didn’t seem to notice her robotic response. Ari shivered as his sodden pants pressed against her body and he lifted his hands to roughly cup her breasts. Her nightie slipped over her hips to the floor and Ari bit back a moan as Ryder teased her nipples. She gasped when he tugged on her flesh then took hold of her twists and kissed her hard, ravishing her mouth. Ari clutched his arms, hating her desire, her body’s reaction to him in spite of everything. She returned his kiss, aware of him guiding her backward.
Ryder wrenched his mouth from hers as she bumped into the wall. “Tell me, Ari. What’s more important…money or the truth?”
“What?” Ari stared up at Ryder, torn between her arousal and anger as he placed his hand next to her head on the wall.
“Which do you value more?” Ryder pushed his other hand between her legs and caressed her pussy. “It’s a simple question, really.”
Ari gasped as he stroked her clit, knowing her juices were wetting his fingers. “I— I value the truth.”
“Do you?” Ryder bent his head and nipped her bottom lip.
“Yes.”
“I don’t believe you. You made this deal with me instead of accepting your truth, Ari.” Ryder swirled his fingers over her clit, making Ari moan again. “The truth is, you’re a gambling addict. You lost my money, and you’ve lost your brother’s money. I gave you the chance to pay me back by working, singing…something you were born to do. It should’ve been so easy for you, but much to my surprise and disappointment, you offered your body to me to benefit you.” Ryder squeezed her pussy. “You don’t get to look at me with those sad, bewitching eyes and act as if I am cruel, that what I’m asking of you—what you freely offered to me—is now somehow hurting you.” Ryder slid two fingers into her. “This is what you wanted.”
“No.” Ari bucked against his hand as he finger-fucked her, tears falling down her cheeks. “I… It’s not what I want anymore.” She placed her hand on his chest, feeling his heart pound beneath her palm as hard as hers.
“It’s too late.” Ryder released his hold on her, his sensual mouth compressed into a hard line.
“Ryder—”
“Turn around.”
Ari dropped her hand from Ryder and pivoted to face the wall. She held back a sniffle as he unzipped his pants.
“Put your hands on the wall, Ari.”
His command sent a dark thrill through Ari even as she swallowed down more tears. She did as he’d asked, sucking in a quick breath as Ryder put his hand on her hips and pulled her ass toward him. Ari gasped seconds later as he sank his unsheathed cock into her.
“So wet.” Ryder smacked her bottom. “And you don’t want this?”
Ari braced herself as he worked his thick length into her slick pussy. His cock became her anchor as he began to ride her. Ari let out a strangled cry. Her breasts jiggled and her heart raced as Ryder rocked her body. She closed her eyes and more tears slid down her face even as she groaned from the pleasure of his possession. Ari brought one hand down to rub her clit. Her bliss tripled and Ari cried out again as she came.
Her climax seemed to galvanize Ryder. Ari whimpered beneath his punishing thrusts. She brought her wet hand from between her quivering thighs and put it back on the wall as Ryder gave a rough shout. Ari trembled as he pulled out. Warm, wet spurts landed on the small of Ari’s back and dripped down her ass as she panted.
Humiliated, Ari straightened when she could, aware of Ryder still standing behind her. She tried to swallow the tears in her throat as she took a step toward her bedroom without looking at Ryder.
“Ari…”
Ari ignored him and kept walking into the hallway.
“Ari.”
Ryder’s deep voice boomed behind Ari as she entered her bedroom. She closed her door, holding back a sob, and padded into the bathroom. Ari closed that door and went over to the mirror. She stared at herself, disgusted by the passion still glimmering in her eyes and evidence of Ryder’s all over her body.
‘What’s more important…money or the truth?’
Ryder’s question replayed in Ari’s mind as she balled her hands into a fist and let her tears flow unchecked. The truth was, she wanted to be the one Ryder confided in.
“Silly girl.” Ari let out the sob she’d been holding in as she turned on the shower. She hoped the spraying water blocked out the sound of her crying.
Soul Chance Page 10
