by Maggie Ryan
Before she could speak, he did. “Why are you here, Elena?”
Though she’d expected the question, she wasn’t prepared for it to be the first words out of his mouth.
No hello…
No good morning…
No I’ve missed you terribly.
But then again, did she really deserve anything else?
“I wanted to say I’m sorry,” she said.
“No.” His eyes darkened, the blue hue deepening. “You could have done that with a phone call. Why are you here?”
She swallowed and tried again, her voice a bit stronger. “I wanted to explain—”
“No,” he interrupted. “Again, simply picking up the phone would have taken care of that.” He stopped speaking and yet she couldn’t continue. He wasn’t following the script in her head, and she had never been very good at ad lib.
Well, you truly didn’t expect that he’d make this easy, did you?
“Answer the question, Elena. Why are you here?” he repeated, his hand sweeping to indicate ‘here’ meant the cabin… the cabin from which she’d run.
It was time for the truth.
Time to face her greatest fear.
Time to trust that he would understand.
“I came to… stop hiding.”
“From what?” he asked.
She didn’t drop her gaze, didn’t back away, and didn’t run. Instead, she loosened her grip on the rail, her hands falling to her sides as she gave him the answer that had taken her months to admit to herself.
“From you, Liam. From myself. I came to face the truth, to stop hiding. I came to see if there was any chance… if there is anything I can do to make this… us… right. To tell you that I love you and that I need… need my daddy.”
His intense gaze had her will to remain strong begin to falter and then he did the only thing that could make her break; he didn’t ask another question, didn’t speak at all. Instead, he uncrossed his arms and opened them wide. With a strangled sob, she fled from the railing and to the stairs. She’d never know how she’d descended with blurred vision, tears streaming down her face as she leapt off the second step from the bottom and into his arms, never doubting that he would catch her. The moment his arms wrapped around her, she felt as if she were home. Sobbing, she buried her face in his flannel shirt.
“Shh, I’ve got you,” he whispered, the words spoken against the top of her head a moment before she felt his lips against her curls. And she knew that he did—he always had.
Chapter Four
Liam stood, his cheek pressed against her cap of auburn curls, his arms tight about her small frame as she clung to him. No matter what had happened to make her run, he knew he’d never let her go again. This woman was the missing piece of his soul. Without her, he was incomplete. He’d not held her in months and yet the moment he’d opened his arms and seen her eyes fill with tears, he’d ached to hold her, to assure her that she’d made the right choice. That her daddy would be there for her always. When she’d leapt from the stairs and he caught her in his arms, he’d felt his world shift, righting itself from the tilt off its axis her disappearance had caused. He would call upon everything within himself, but he was determined that she would learn that she belonged exactly where she was… now and for the rest of their lives.
He didn’t rush her to settle, they had time. For now, he was content to hold her soft body against his hardness, inhale the scent that belonged solely to her and allow her to soak his shirt and absorb the fact that he had absolutely no desire to ever let her go again. Gradually, her tears lessened, her hitching breaths slowing as she calmed. He stroked down her back, the touch doing as much to soothe him as it did her. When he felt her pull away just enough to tilt her head back, he cupped her cheek with his palm. Her eyes were red, her cheeks moist, the band of freckles across her cheeks and bridge of her nose prominent despite her flush. She was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. Her sniffles and occasional hiccups tugged at his heart. Using a thumb to wipe away her tears, he wondered how often he’d repeat that gesture before they were done. Pulling a handkerchief from his jean pocket, he lifted it toward her runny nose, acknowledging the fact that if she objected to this simple gesture, if she refused to allow him to perform something as rudimentary as assisting her in blowing her nose, he’d question how she could be serious about needing her daddy. She pleased him when she didn’t reach for the handkerchief, but blew several times until she pulled slightly back, communicating her nose was clear.
“Thank you,” she said softly.
God, just her voice and the look in her eyes had his insides clenching. He pulled back, then bent and kissed the tip of her nose, something he’d never imagined doing before meeting her. It was her innocent spirit, her awe that she could find happiness with the simplest of pleasures, and, of course, the fact that her nose tipped up just the tiniest bit that had him kissing it that first time when they’d first begun dating. Her eyes had gone wide but it was her flush and delighted giggle that had stolen his heart. Now, with her in his arms, he placed his palm against her cheek and pressed his lips to hers. It was probably the gentlest kiss he’d ever given her and yet it was also one that held the deepest meaning. The touch of her lips against his had his heart unfreezing, the cracks beginning to knit back together.
It would be so easy to let this be the only part of their journey… the sweetness, the gentle touches, the sharing of nothing but words of love. It was so tempting to simply forgive her, to pick up where they’d left off, but he couldn’t. She’d been soft and beautiful that day as well. The day she’d run. What he had to do now was determine what had happened to cause her to change her mind. So no, he couldn’t take the easy path. The very fact that she’d spoken those words, “I came to face the truth,” told him that doing so wouldn’t heal her. Yes, they’d return to this and never take for granted how special it was, but first, they needed to clear the slate, wipe it clean so that she felt she’d received the discipline she’d earned. Without making her atonement, he knew she’d never find the forgiveness she so desperately needed.
Liam carried her to the island, setting her on one of the tall stools. As she settled, he moved around the island and reached for a mug he’d placed on the counter. Lifting the teakettle off the burner, he poured the hot water over the teabag, adding a generous stream of honey. His girl had a bit of a sweet tooth. After pouring a dollop of cream into it, he placed it in front of her.
“You remembered,” she said, wrapping her hands around the mug.
“I remember a great deal,” Liam said, watching a flush creep up her neck. He knew the color would settle in her cheeks. She’d always been quick to blush, something he had always adored.
Nodding, she lifted the mug to her lips, closing her eyes briefly and inhaling deeply before taking the first sip. Just like her blush, he loved the sound of her purr of satisfaction. It was the same she’d give when she was sated after they made love. His cock twitched behind his zipper. He couldn’t wait to make her purr again, and again and again. Pouring his coffee, adding nothing to dilute what he considered the perfection of the freshly ground beans, he drank her in with every sip he took.
“Where did you go, Elena? Do you have any idea how worried I’ve been?”
“I went back home… well, for a few days, but I had to leave. An old friend helped me find a temp job and let me stay in her garage apartment.”
Liam was a bit surprised to learn she’d gone home, but not that she hadn’t stayed. Elena had told him little about her family, but enough that he knew her relationship with her parents had been nothing but a hardship for her for as long as she could remember. As a freelance accountant, she also had the ability to pick up and go whenever she desired. She was very good at her job and her services were often in demand by various companies. Hell, that’s how he’d met her. She’d come to work for him and Sean to establish a better accounting system for their firm. Their attraction had been
immediate. Within six months, they’d gotten more serious about their relationship, moving from dating to a dom/submissive one and beginning to discuss a dynamic he’d felt in his gut that she craved. He’d proposed and had been so certain that they would have an incredible life together… then she’d disappeared.
The silence stretched for a few minutes before she set her cup down, her fingers sliding up and down the porcelain. “Liam, I do want to say I’m sorry.” She paused as if expecting him to remind her that a phone call would have allowed that. When he only nodded, she took a deep breath. “And, I-I wanted to explain.”
This was what he’d wanted… what he’d asked himself the moment the taillights of her car had disappeared, what he’d wondered every single day since that one. Prepared to take the blame, to accept the responsibility of his failing her, he nodded again.
“When we met, I had no idea that anyone like you existed. Yes, there are thousands of good-looking men, men who are self-assured and successful. Men who can have any woman they wish, but I never imagined I’d be that woman. From the moment we met I felt a sense of wonder, of awe. With every date, every moment, you pulled me deeper into a dream. I’d never known anyone who paid… well, attention to everything. Like the shampoo and soap.” She paused, lifting her mug. “And this. You had my favorite tea ready. You have always been conscious of every detail and my every reaction. You knew me better than I knew myself, and that scared me.”
“Why?”
“As our relationship deepened and you became my dom, when you began to guide me, to teach me about submission… to love me, I felt that for the first time in my life, I was actually coming alive—not just existing—living, feeling. When you proposed, I was so happy. So incredibly honored you’d chosen me.”
“Then why? Why did you leave me, Elena? What did I do—”
“It… none of it was you, Liam. God, you were never guilty of anything other than loving me. I was just so… so fucking stupid.”
“Are you that anxious to change positions on that stool?” he asked, no longer able to remain silent.
“What?”
“You heard me, Elena. The rules haven’t changed. You aren’t allowed to curse and definitely not to put yourself down.”
She squirmed a bit but nodded. “God, I’m not saying this right.”
“Take your time,” he said.
He watched as she began to turn the ring around and around on her finger. The fact that it moved so easily told him she’d lost weight she couldn’t afford to lose and yet, he didn’t speak. It was obvious she was struggling and he’d sworn to himself he’d listen, no matter how much the words hurt to hear.
“The very first time you brought me here, I could see it in your eyes. Here, within the walls you’d helped build, you were at home. This place is special to you. It was here that you showed me it was all right to be free… to give, to submit, to love without restraint. Do you remember the party we held to celebrate our engagement?”
Liam knew he wasn’t likely to ever forget that day. He’d finally convinced the woman he loved with his entire soul to marry him. Though he’d already begun making plans to renovate the cabin, he’d decided to have a last party. “Yes, I do,” he said. “It was an incredibly special day for me. You were to become my wife and, on that day, we did our first scene as Daddy and little.”
She nodded. “Right. When you first began to speak about changing our dynamic… I didn’t… I was…”
“If we were moving too fast, if you felt I was pushing you toward something you weren’t ready for, didn’t truly wish—”
“Oh, no, it wasn’t that. The first time you said the words ‘Daddy’ and ‘little one,’ it was like you’d looked deep into my soul and seen what I’d never allowed to come out into the daylight. When we did that scene, the day of the party, I was so nervous because others were watching, but you made it incredible. I knew that you’d keep me safe even when you spanked me over your desk. You made it perfect for me.”
He wasn’t feeling enlightened in the least. “Elena, I don’t understand. If you felt that way, if you loved me, loved the fact that we were moving into a new lifestyle, why did you leave?”
“Let me finish,” she said, her voice rising for the first time. Sliding off the stool, she began to pace. “After we finished, do you remember everyone clapped and congratulated us? Wished us the best in our new life together?”
“Yes.”
“You and some others went outside to start grilling, and some of the women went to fix side dishes in the kitchen.” She paused and he nodded, not following but willing to give her time to explain.
“I stayed up here to take a shower and change before the bar-b-que, but when I was done, and leaving the bathroom, I could hear voices. The same voice that had just congratulated me… well, I knew that she’d been lying.”
Suddenly he felt they were reaching the reason she’d left. “Who was talking, about what?”
“Rebecca was talking to some other woman… Pamela, I think? They were still upstairs, standing by the desk. Rebecca was saying that the whole thing was unfair. That I-I’d ruined a perfect play place, that I was desecrating your cabin by demanding you turn it into some pathetic nursery. That I’d-I’d emasculated one of the most incredible doms she’d ever seen; I had stripped you of your manhood. She said you’d not be happy for long playing Daddy to some little mouse who didn’t know what submission even meant. I must have made some sound because they turned and saw me and she… Rebecca laughed. Pamela looked embarrassed, but she didn’t defend me. Instead, she listened to Rebecca saying for me not to worry. That when you finally came to your senses and left me, she’d be ready to remind you what a real woman, a real submissive was like.”
“Oh, Elena, baby, you know Rebecca has problems, is never satisfied or happy. The only reason she was here was because she came with Ronnie. I never was involved with her nor would I choose to be. Why would you believe a word of what she said?”
“I didn’t, not really… not at first. It wasn’t that; it was the fact that you were changing what had been perfect. You began to renovate the cabin—your haven—the next weekend. When you were done, we were to meet here.”
“Right,” he said. “I was so excited for you to see everything, to start our new life together but… you ran.”
“The day we met here, the moment I stepped onto the landing upstairs, I saw that Rebecca was right. There was no more open loft. No more spanking bench or horse. No apparatus at all. The only thing that was the same was the desk. Instead of implements on the walls, there were shelves full of DVDs, books, and board games. You opened the door to my new room and it was a room meant for a child… not a grown woman. You’d changed so very much for me and yet… I had done nothing for you. All I’d ever done was take. I ran because I knew that if I stayed a moment longer… if I was here when you realized that you’d made a mistake… that I’d shatter into a million pieces.”
Liam was through listening to such bullshit. “Now you listen to me, young lady, and you listen good. I don’t give a fuck what Rebecca or anyone else thinks. I will never tire of you. I love you. You take nothing, Elena. All you’ve ever done is give. Yes, I liked the cabin when I first built it, but, Elena, I didn’t renovate just for you. I did it for me as well. I wanted to make into our haven, our special place. Being your husband, your daddy, is the highest honor, the greatest gift you could ever give me. I want to take care of you, to cuddle you, to make life what you dream of because doing so allows me to live my dream as well. Don’t you see that?”
“Not then… but I do now.”
“What made you see the truth?”
“I ran and it was only because I did that I was able to come back.” She moved again, this time around the kitchen island and came to stand before him. “It took time for me to realize that she was wrong. That my family was wrong as well. That worth is not found in being better than anyone else. To realize that what Rebec
ca said was wrong and you… every word you’d told me was right. Katie helped me understand that a person can’t be weak and choose this dynamic. Weakness has nothing to do with submission. It takes incredible strength. To submit is the very definition of the word. Strength to know that while you will bend, you will never be allowed to break. Strength of mind to understand that by giving of yourself, you receive more than you’d ever imagined possible. Strength to know that only those who are willing to open their heart, to truly allow another person to hold it in their hands, have the most amazing, most precious love of all. It takes strength to ignore the judgment, the misconception, the biases of those people who are too narrow-minded to know that by giving of yourself, you aren’t giving yourself away… you are finding the other half of your very soul.
“By leaving that day, I realized that I had made the only choice that robbed me of the gift you’d given me. I was alive but I was no longer living. Without you, I was empty. I came to realize that it was your gift of love, of respect, of leading me, that had finally set me free… not by changing me but by allowing me to be exactly who I am.”
He crushed her to his chest, his heart feeling as if it was finally beating properly again. Her arms wrapped around his waist, holding him tight, her cheek pressed against his chest. It was several minutes before he dropped a kiss on top of her head and then stepped back, his hands on her arms.
“I never stopped loving you, Elena. But, I swear to God, if you ever pull such a stupid stunt again, I’ll make sure you can’t sit for a week. Understand?”
“Yes.”
“No, Elena, that won’t work anymore. From the moment you stepped into our cabin, you became who you should have been that day. It will be ‘yes, sir,’ or ‘yes, Daddy.’”
“Yes, sir.”
