Curse of Remorse

by Waggoner, Robert C.

  Ann had sat down on her floor of thick carpet and Glen noticed her mouth open. He said, “Do you want me to put his number in your phone?”

  Ann closed her mouth and looked toward the voice of her brother and said, “Yes, and mark it on the number 2 as Alice is number 1.”

  “Ok and here it's as you asked. Now I'll go check my mail and see if my friend from the library has mailed me. Bang on my door if you need me.”

  After her brother left, she punched her phone to call Alice and tell her about the note. After ten minutes of discussing the church meeting, she decided to not say anything to her best friend and keep this note to herself. She realized that even if she swore Alice to secrecy, word would get around she had a new boyfriend. Suddenly she felt very tired and made her way to the hall bathroom to brush her teeth and get ready for bed. Her mother would be up soon to tuck her in and that was a great comfort to her.

  It wasn’t long and after a good night chat with her mother, Ann went into dream land. Not only Ann, but all three kids with stuck eyelids, went into dream land.

  The same hazy violet colored fog drifted like angel hair floating on a slight breeze similar to their last dreams. Ann drifted like before, but this time she didn’t scream for help. She felt a bit more comfortable. Also, she didn’t feel alone like the last time.

  Tommy felt like time stood still with the same feeling as Ann not being alone. Slowly twisting and turning, he searched hard for a presence with him. He heard himself saying, “Hello, anyone there?”

  Sara was enjoying her dream of floating along in a warm haze of violet colored fog, when she heard Tommy’s voice saying, what she thought, was a hello. Sara returned the greeting and asked, “Who are you?”

  Surprisingly, it was Ann who answered her saying, “I’m Ann Blumps and who are you?”

  Tommy answered both of them by saying his name and told them they sounded close by and could anyone see him?

  Sara said, “I think I see something like a log floating in a river and if you were to wave your arm….” Tommy waved his two arms and Sara said:

  “I see you and I will try and swim to you.”

  Ann said, “Tommy, I am right behind you and saw you waving your arms. I will try to swim up to you.” Tommy tried to slow himself down by backstroking and it wasn’t long before Ann touched his hands. No sooner had they connected then Sara came alongside them. She held out her hands and then all three looked like skydivers holding hands, falling through the air, but in this case were floating along like a peaceful river meandering along on a summer’s day.

  Tommy was first to speak and said, “Do you suppose this is real or just a dream?”

  Ann replied, “I am sure it is a dream, but I feel so wonderful and I can see each of you very clearly. This is so peaceful and I wonder why we are together in this dream fantasy?

  Sara looked at both of them and then she added, “I too feel very special and my father would say we are on our way to heaven. Hey, do you guys have an idea about where we might be going?”

  Tommy and Ann looked at each other and then Ann said, “No idea where we're going or why we're floating along together. I remember the last time having this dream and screaming for help, but now it feels safe and there must be a purpose for us being together and knowing when we wake up in the morning, we will feel good about life.”

  Silence was surrounding them, as they floated along each in their own thoughts. Tommy felt the best he ever had, and even had the thought that he was the only boy here, he felt a little responsible for the other two girls. Regardless of what happened, he had the feeling of growing up. Liking the feeling a lot, he didn’t want it to end.

  The next morning Ann woke up refreshed and full of confidence about what she really didn’t know, but she felt good no matter why it was happening. She bounced out of bed and listened to her cell phone tell her the time. Surprising it was exactly the time to get ready for school. She made her way to the bathroom and realized she was growing used to not being able to see what she was doing.

  Both Sara and Tommy woke up feeling the same as Ann. Tommy especially felt good going back to school and his brother promised to help him get ready. Sara, with her mother Nancy, helping her make ready for another day.

  Nancy was what one would expect of a wife of a pastor. Her role as a mother and wife was what she liked and thanked God every day for giving her the opportunity to have this wonderful life. Now as she helped her daughter in the bathroom, she looked into the mirror as if seeing herself for the first time. At thirty four there was not a line on her face. She never thought of herself as anything but plain, but others told her she had an inner beauty that distracted others from her mousy brown straight hair. Her dark brown eyes twinkled and her husband Chris said that is what he noticed first when they met at a church service being administered by her pastor father in Bangor, Maine. Chris was in his last year of theology and as each Sunday went along, the next day after his graduation ordainment they were married by her father.

  Their first years were a little rough as he was sent to the Midwest where the awful climate and remote towns felt like a ton of weight on her shoulders. Right after Sara was born, life became a joy for her and they were transferred to Remorse where it appeared they were going to stay for a long while. Now as the shower turned off and her daughter held out her hand for a towel, she noticed her daughter was becoming a young woman with small breasts and getting some curves of a woman. It made her heart a bit sad as they couldn’t have any more kids. She and Chris both wanted at least three so they were on a waiting list for adoption, but that was a slow process. She thought, so many kids in this world as orphans and it’s been three years since they had put their name on a list. However, patience was a virtue, it was said, so she waited with high expectations coming soon.

  ***

  Across town, Candice too was taking a shower and getting ready to meet Ed in the restaurant. The story she sent in last night after the church meeting was accepted by her boss Jim. He told her in a mail to stay with it and if she had the time, go up and visit the aunt for some additional background. She had called the boys and told them to get ready for a trip north to Salem and to pick her up at the restaurant around ten am.

  When Candice rang the bells over the door, all eyes, including Ed, who was sitting drinking coffee with the regulars, turned to see who was coming in. She thought, as they quickly turned back to the matters at hand and wrapping their hands around the mugs of coffee – it was common to see each regular with their own cup or mug – that she was becoming a regular customer. She moved to her regular table and was followed by the ever smiling waitress, Ginny, with a cup and pot of coffee. There was no need to bring a menu as it was not necessary to look at it anymore, as Ed joined her bringing his own cup with him.

  They both ordered omelets. Ginny moved off and Ed said, “Well, I sent you my next news report via your e mail and I’d like to know what you thought of last night's events at the church.”

  “Ed, my boss said to keep on it and I’m not sure what to make of the story we heard last night. It would appear the man was a bit deranged and of not sound mind, but as we both know, there is some substance lurking somewhere in the written lines or in-between the lines. But I'm, or we're, a long ways from discovering the facts of the case, that's for sure. What do you say and I'm all ears at this point?”

  “No doubt there's a story here and it’s probably one that will go down as memorable, to say the least. I've a friend who has a friend down in New Orleans that says we can find out some information on Jamaican black magic. I have a call coming in later this afternoon and if you're available, stop by.”

  “I doubt I'll be back in time, but if I am, I surely will stop by.”

  “May I ask where you are going?”

  “I’m going up to Salem to do some research and interview the aunt.” Candice didn’t think it any harm to tell him what she was doing. He’d find out anyway. Besides this town was too small and the story too big to
hide very much. She thought about asking him why he was feeding the Post, but let it go for now. She’d nail him when the time was right.

  They finished breakfast and Dave came in to say they were ready to go when she was. They had stopped at the local fast food market and loaded up on coffee and sandwiches instead of a sit down breakfast.

  ***

  Roy had just entered his office as Candice and crew left town for Salem. He’d hung around the house talking to his wife and they discussed what options they had going for them. Earlier he’d called Dr. Choi for his take on last night’s meeting and as far as Dr. Choi was concerned, science was absolute, but he didn’t rule out some outside influence. He told Roy he would stop by his office around eleven and have a sit down with him.

  Joan was not about to sit around and dwell on this or that and decided on visiting Nancy and Chris at their house if they were available later in the morning. Joan rang Nancy up as her husband left for the office and found Nancy very happy to have her come by anytime she wanted. Joan put on her coat, winter scarf, and gloves and went to see them.

  Joan decided to walk as the sun was out, but bitterly cold. She walked quickly and really didn’t take notice of the maple trees heavy with snow and the power pole wires sagging from an ice buildup. A few neighbors were out shoveling the latest snow fall, but mostly the sidewalks were trampled with packed snow making it rather difficult to walk without slipping. On more than one occasion, she slipped but caught herself, swearing some words she didn’t want the good Reverend Chris to hear. Billowing clouds of frozen breathe drifted down as tiny snowflakes while her nostrils froze inside, it was so cold out.

  Ten minutes later she walked up the clean cement walkway to a short few steps to the doorway, where a recently painted white door had a welcome mat in front of it. She pushed the brass button and heard the familiar sound of a door chiming behind the door. Almost before the chime ended the door opened and there stood a smiling Nancy ushering her in from the cold. Joan slipped off her snow covered boots in the small entry way and hung up Joan’s coat. The blast of warm air hit her cheeks turning them beet red as Nancy led her into the kitchen, where she found Chris on the phone with a member of his congregation. Apparently he used the kitchen table for a desk when away from his church as a stack of papers, a bible of course, a portable phone and a large coffee mug that had a picture of Christ on the opposite side of the handle. He said a few more words and hung up and stood to greet Joan.

  This kitchen was not unfamiliar to Joan as she had on more than one time stopped by for a chat and cup of coffee. But usually it was more banal conversation rather than today’s topic about their kids and what the future might hold for all of them. She sat down on a wooden chair that sort of matched the kitchen table also made of wood, but covered in a nice table cloth of a bright, but not gaudy yellow color. The whole place was neat as a pin, including the kitchen where the smell of toast hung in the air from a not so long ago breakfast mixed with a fresh coffee aroma.

  Nancy asked, “Have you had your breakfast yet?”

  Joan replied, “Yes, and thanks for asking. Just some coffee please.” A mug of coffee was sat in front of her and Nancy sat down while her husband remained deep in thought. What he was thinking about Nancy didn’t have any idea, but most likely it had something to do with the blind kids. She noticed he broke his thinking and smiled up at Joan.

  Chris said, “These are difficult times Joan and we must stay focused on our kids and families.”

  “I think we need to have a get together and let’s organize our thinking about what to do with this predicament we are in. What I mean is, let’s assign different tasks to different people and see what we come up with. I am not sure how to do this, but not doing anything isn't doing us much good or sitting around lamenting the crises is wasting time. As we know, Brian, the mayor’s son, is having a birthday this Friday. If the same thing happens to him as what happened to our kids, then we're in for an event of untold proportions,” Joan said.

  Chris thought about it and then after a sip of fresh coffee, said, “I’m in favor of whatever anyone wants to do about this situation. I agree just beating a dead horse is not going to make it get up and go; we have to make something happen.”

  It was decided, at the small kitchen table, that a meeting again would take place in the church. The list of participants was kept short and only involved the major players and for reasons not completely clear to anyone, the New York Times reporter Candice was invited. Joan thought it best as there were no secrets in this town and it was better to have a trained professional doing some research than not having one. All knew Ed the Nose was not up to the task or standard they were looking for.

  Joan decided to walk down town and have lunch with Roy and talk to him about the upcoming meeting at the church. Joan thoughts moved to her daughter and how she was doing in school. The cold air bit into her cheeks as she walked on sidewalks that had been mostly cleared by homeowners or had been salted by the city workers. The sun was shining brightly but the heat from the sun was doing a poor job of any ice melting as the crunch, crunch of her boots reminded her how cold it was outside when she hit patches of snow where nobody had bothered to make a path.

  It was getting close to lunch time at school and Joan and the rest of the concerned parents could relax as the school had the situation under control. A special blind teacher had come down from Salem and instead of having a special class just for Ann, Sara and Tommy, the classes were part of the day’s routine with the other students learning about a disability. The teacher went on about how easy it was to learn Braille and how to surf the net with a special computer designed for the blind. More importantly, the idea was how to help and not try too hard to assist the blind person. That is why a blind person has a guide dog, she had told them: Guide being the key word here.

  Ann was having a good day and enjoyed the special teacher from the capital. She was resigned to the fact she couldn’t see and with no medical help on the horizon, best let it develop, realizing that for the present and near future, and maybe longer, she would need to learn how to deal with being handicapped. A dog would be nice, she thought.

  Lunch, similar as the day, before with Alice getting Ann’s lunch, but what were different Sara and Tommy were all sitting together with the special teacher chatting with the students. Ann was sitting at the end of the table with Sara and Tommy to her left. The special teacher sat across from her and to Ann’s surprise, Brian sat down next to her asking her to scoot over a bit. She moved a bit and so on down the line as she told Sara to move down a little. Brian ate his lunch and as Ann introduced Brian to the special teacher, also adding, his birthday was coming Friday. She gave him a concerned look and then a big smile on her face came when she saw the intelligent look on his face.

  She thought, this boy is certainly some years older than he appears. She asked Brian, “From what happened to your fellow students here on their birthdays, do you think the same will happen to you?”

  Brian smiled and once again special teacher Joy Plant was taken in by his demeanor as he said, “I have no control over what might or might not come, but if it does come that I can’t see, then I believe there are worse things that can happen to a person.”

  Wow! She thought. Who raised this boy and I think he is gifted in more ways than one. Joy turned her attention back to the other three and asked them if their parents were prepared to help them with their study of Braille?”

  All except Tommy said they thought so. Joy noticed he was silent and spoke only when spoken to. She thought right that something was amiss in his family. She quickly added that the state had some resources that low income families could apply for and that she could help them the next time she came down. She noticed Tommy had perked up at that mention of help for the poor and began to pay more attention than before.

  While Joy was talking to the group, Brian leaned into Ann’s ear and whispered something that made Ann smile. Alice had arrived and noticed them snug
gled up and Brian whispering in Ann’s ear making Alice jealous and mad at the same time. How dare he befriend her, she thought. Alice had heard he had broken up with his old girlfriend and now it looked like he had his sights on Ann who would gladly accept his attention.

  Alice purposely broke their whispering and said, “Ann here is your lunch and as it's fried chicken with fries, do you need some help?”

  Brain quickly whispered something in Ann’s ear and Ann replied, “Brian has offered to help if needed but as its chicken and fries, I can do it by feel I think. Thanks Alice and is there milk to drink?”

  “Yes, and it is in front of your tray opened and with a straw in it,” she replied a little too harshly. Alice bit her tongue, but knew it was too late to take it back as she caught Ann’s body language as if struck by a thump to the chest. Brian didn’t miss the barb either and went back to his lunch which was cold by now. The rest of time was spent eating and when it was time to go, Alice kind of bumped Brian out of the way and took Ann’s arm leading her out of the cafeteria. Brian was left standing there feeling a little put out by Alice, but realized they had been friends for a long time.

  Tommy and Sara sat together and as Joy finished her lunch asked them both if she could lead they back to class or someplace where they wanted to go. Sara readily agreed and Tommy stuttered a thank you and they left the cafeteria with many eyes on them as Sara was holding Tommy’s hand.

  ***

  Joan and Roy sat in a booth at the “Best Food” restaurant having their usual soup and sandwich. The café was serving a sparse crowd as the sun was out and a lot of regulars were catching up on their snow shoveling, or such things as a clear winter’s day permitted. Roy noticed a pickup truck going through town with a load of firewood, or stove wood in back. Behind that he saw the mayor’s SUV pull into the curb and Veronica get out and enter the café. She walked straight towards Joan and Roy and asked if she could join them? Roy slid over and she sat down with a style befitting her personality. She thanked them and when the waitress asked her what she wanted to eat, she told her the same as what was on the table with tea to drink and not coffee.