“Anyway…” I try to change the topic but fail when I blank on what to follow up with.
She takes a deep breath, preparing to explain things to me. “No, no, not ‘anyway’. You won’t get out of it that easily. He walked into the café, spotted you and then joined our table.”
“He spotted us,” I correct.
“He doesn’t know me. He’s seen me once,” she deadpans. “But you made it seem like you didn’t quite know him when I asked you. The way you two were talking just now makes it seem like you guys have known each other forever.”
“He and I may have met over the summer,” I say, smiling as we start walking back to the dorm.
“When in the summer? Weren’t you in hospital and then confined to your home this summer? Was he in the hospital with you? Oh, my God, does he have cancer? Did he have cancer? Is he—”
I interrupt Emma before she confuses herself. “If you stopped throwing out a million questions a second, I could try answering them.”
She sighs. “Fine, go ahead!”
I laugh. “Thank you. He was an intern at the hospital.”
Her eyes light up. “Oh! I read a book like this. The guy is an intern who meets the girl at a hospital and was immediately attracted to her. Then they get together and steamy stuff happens.” Emma’s face goes red when she sees the look in my eye. She knows she’s just unintentionally confirmed to me that her reading list isn’t so squeaky clean.
“Steamy stuff, huh?” She blushes. “Emma, first, what kind of stories are you reading? Second, this is not that kind of story,” I say.
“But it could be! He seems interested,” she continues, purposefully avoiding my question. I don’t know how interested he seems when the moment his friends are around, he wants the Earth to swallow him whole.
We close the distance to our dorm, and I try and explain to her that there’s nothing between me and Jesse. “We kind of became friends this summer since he was at the hospital a lot for an internship. And I was there for treatment.”
“And then you saw him every day and realized you were meant to be!” Emma cuts in excitedly.
I have to stop myself from rolling my eyes. “Not a book. Not a fairy tale. We’re just friends.” I say friends hesitantly because aside from exchanging messages and seeing him at the café a few minutes ago, I haven’t spent as much time with him as I used to—as much time as we spent together last summer.
“A friendship is a start; it could turn into more. He did wink at you!” For someone so interested in science, math, and facts, my roommate is a bit of a romantic, which I guess I already knew based on all the romance books she’s read in the last week.
“Keep your fairy tales in books, woman! We live in the real world,” I tell her. Someone throws a Frisbee, and it lands near our feet. I grab it and toss it back.
“Thank you,” the group of students yells back, and I nod in response.
“Do you believe in all that football-player-falls-in-love-with-nerd stuff from books?” I ask her. Part of me is trying to make the point that those things don’t happen in real life, but a smaller part of me hopes she does believe in it—because that’s what my story with Jesse, if there ever was one, would be.
“To be honest, it’s easier to believe it in books. I don’t know if I’d buy it in real life,” she says, and I think my expression changes because she adds, “but you never know. It could happen.”
We walk the rest of the way to the dorm, talking about classes and life. It’s insane that this has become my new normal—just having a conversation with my roommate about a guy, school, and life. I never thought I’d ever have the ability to think about my future again. But I can.
18
JESSE
The weekend comes around faster than I expected, and yet at the same time, it feels like it takes forever. It’s probably because I haven’t seen Zoe again. I still haven’t gotten to hang out with her. All we have is messages going back and forth, and while that’s nice, I need more. Leaving my room and shutting the door behind me, I take the steps downstairs two at a time to join the guys in the living room.
“Who’s ready to party?” Zack shouts from the top of the stairs. Some of the freshmen moving the couch down to the basement in preparation for our annual welcome party glance up at him and grin.
Nick comes out of the kitchen, beer in hand. “I’m ready!” he shouts back.
“Can either of you help me move this chair?” I ask, upset about being roped into helping in the first place. Each year I say I won’t do it, and each year I end up here. Sometimes I think I’m too nice.
Nick puts his beer down on the nearest counter and finally walks over to me. “Where’s Colton?” he asks.
Coming down the stairs, Zack replies, “Where do you think?”
“He’s fucking whipped.” Nick says the word whipped like it’s the worst thing that could happen to a guy.
Feeling the need to step in, I add, “He’s happy.”
I immediately regret it.
“Oh yeah, happy. He’s happy,” Nick mocks, and Zack and a few others join him. They think being in a relationship is some sort of burden. The sad thing is, none of them knows any better.
“Cut the shit and get this stuff downstairs already,” Chase says from behind us.
Nick salutes him before picking up his end of the couch and helping me move it downstairs.
“Smartass,” Chase mutters, cracking a bit of a smile. Chase Boulder. He’s as intimidating as Colton, but unlike Colton, he hasn’t had a girl soften him up. He may be a hard-ass—a little rough around the edges—but he cares about all of us.
“Do you think Colton is coming tonight?” Nick asks as we descend the stairs.
Coming in right behind us carrying a lamp, Zack says, “He kind of has to—he is the president and all!”
We reach the basement and set the couch on the floor. “He’ll probably show his face for, like, a minute and then leave. He may be president, but he does what he wants,” one of the red shirts on the team, Alex, says as he and another freshman reorganize the furniture. Nick, Zack and I turn to him immediately, the same thought running through all of our minds.
Nick stalks over to the kid. “What did you say?” he asks, enunciating each word.
“I j-j-just… I—” Alex stammers. He looks over at his friend, who has taken a step back.
“You what?” Zack adds, standing by Nick’s side now. I can see the fear in the freshman’s eyes, and I sit back, doing my best to hold back my laughter.
Alex’s eyes volley between Zack and Nick. “You…you guys talk about him being absent all the time. I was just…”
“We earned that right by not only being his teammates, but his family,” Nick replies.
“You haven’t earned shit,” Zack adds.
Alex looks down at the floor and then back up at the guys. “I’m sorry,” he says.
“Alright, that’s enough,” I tell them, and Zack and Nick burst out laughing.
“Did you see how scared he was?” Zack says, pointing at the poor freshman.
The other freshman, who’s name I should probably learn, smiles. “You…you guys were only joking?”
“Sort of. We know you don’t know any better—just don’t do it again,” Nick says, turning around and heading up the stairs. Zack and I follow behind him as the two freshmen stay behind and resume their jobs.
“Tonight, I’m drinking until I can’t see color,” Zack announces the moment we reach the living room.
I look at him with concern. “Do you really think that’s a good idea?” I ask, knowing he’s going to ignore me anyway. Zack kind of plays by his own rules.
“Isn’t that the point of these parties?” he says, heading over to the kitchen to get himself a beer. I don’t respond because he’s right—there really is no other point to these parties. If I weren’t on the team, and if these guys weren’t my brothers, I wouldn’t bother attending.
Nick walks by me with another l
amp in his hand. “Do you think your friends will show up?” I know he’s talking about Zoe and Emma, and I almost tell him to back off, but I realize that may not be the right approach. Nick likes challenges, and if he feels like that’s what this is, it’ll only make him more determined.
“Who knows? They’re juniors,” I reply. I don’t know if Zoe is up for it, and from what I know about Emma, she’s majoring in something science-related and loves books—parties and football games are not her thing.
Nick looks like he’s mulling this information over before he replies, “We both know that not just freshmen show up to our parties.”
“Yeah, but if they don’t regularly attend other parties, why would they come to one of ours?”
“That’s nonsense,” he retorts. “Everyone wants to come to our parties.”
“You do know that if everyone in the entire school came to our parties, we would need a bigger house?”
He rolls his eyes. “Just keep an eye out and let me know if your friend with the red hair shows up.”
I nod, knowing if she were to show up, I wouldn’t be the one to tell him. Not a chance in the world.
ZOE
Hey, are you coming to the welcome party? – Good Doctor.
What party?
I stretch out on my bed, feeling the weight of my lethargy like a blanket. Classes haven’t started yet, but I’ve had to meet with a few different administration people to ensure that—as they put it— ‘my transition back into Bragan is smooth.’
“Do you know of a party happening tonight?” I ask Emma.
She looks at me from over the top of her paperback. “Me? No. I have no idea.”
“Huh…” I lick my lips. “Another romance novel?”
She shrugs, marking her page and closing the book. “You sound surprised.”
“That’s the third one this week.”
Her eyes crinkle in the corners as she laughs. “I’m not even close to breaking my weekly record.”
I look down at my phone—still no reply. “You’ve been here for three years now…”
Setting her paperback down, she shrugs and says, “And I’ve never gone to a party. Why do you ask?”
I try to look disinterested. “Oh, just Jesse asked if we were going.”
“Oh, Jesse,” she says in an ‘I told you so’ kind of way. “Why didn’t you just say you knew him when we saw him and his friends on the quad?
“I told him I didn’t want any unnecessary attention. He’s a football player. I don’t want to ride his coat tails.”
She nods. “You don’t seem like the coat-tail-riding type.”
“Psht, I love the attention,” I respond sarcastically.
“We’re going to get along just fine.”
I raise my brows at her. “I thought you’d already figured this out!?”
“Eh, I was still testing my theory.”
My phone beeps with an incoming message. “I’m, like, your best friend already,” I tell her as I open the notification.
The Welcome Party we host every year for freshmen. – Good Doctor
I was here freshmen year and don’t recall this party. Also, stop calling yourself that.
I glance over at Emma, who’s already picked up her book again. “Does the Welcome Party for Freshmen ring a bell?” She shakes her head without giving me a second look.
“Fine, I’ll let you read your smut.”
Without looking up, she throws a pillow at me.
She didn’t deny it though.
The first two years were lame. It’s much better now. Are you coming? Maybe you can bring your roommate? It’s tonight… Also, is Good Intern better?
Tonight?! I’m gonna pass… You’re not an intern anymore.
Come on! You know you want to hang out with me. I miss hanging out with you.
I can’t hold back my smile. Spending time with Jesse sounds heavenly, but I don’t know that a party is where I want to do that.
Eh, not really. I think I’ll opt for a quiet night in with Emma.
You’re killing me, Evans. Bring Emma and come have some fun, even if it’s only for an hour. It’ll make my night.
I bite my lip to keep from smiling. I don’t want Emma to see the way he makes me react, the way just his messages can put a smile on my face.
I’ll think about it.
Remember you promised you’d make time for me.
STOP trying to guilt me into going to your party.
I won’t stop if it’s working… Is it?
I smile.
Maybe.
You know you have nothing else to do tonight. You’re probably already in your dorm, wearing pajamas and lying in bed.
I look down at myself to see that he’s right on the money with his prediction.
You may be right. If I can convince Emma to come with me, I’ll go.
I’ll send you the address. Tell Emma I’ll buy her ice cream.
You may need more than ice cream to convince Emma to drop her book and go to a party.
I look at my roommate, who is frantically flipping back and forth between two pages, her mouth open in shock.
I’ll give her anything she wants.
I’ll let you know if she accepts that offer. Oh… and Jesse?
I tell him and wait anxiously for him to respond.
Yeah?
I miss you too.
I type out the words and send the message as quickly as I can before I lose the courage. The small icon at the bottom of the screen shows me he’s typing, but then it stops. It does that a few more times before it stops again. I set my phone down and turn to my roommate once again, this time looking for a distraction to calm my rapidly beating heart.
“Hey, Emma?” I use my sweet voice to pry my roommate away from her book once more.
She looks at me. “Yes...” she answers knowingly, drawing out the word.
I clear my throat. “Do you want to go to the Welcome Party tonight?”
“No,” she says without any hesitation.
“Would anything change your mind?”
Returning her attention to her book, she says, “Nope.”
Well, I tried. I got shut down, and I’m staying in. Maybe next time! Getting up, I head over to my desk and pull out my journal. I started journaling when I was first diagnosed with ALL; I wanted to leave something behind, a legacy of some sort. But since I hadn’t done much with my life yet, I figured I could at least leave some words for others to find.
Now, I keep writing because you never know when life can end. I write my thoughts, my goals, and my regrets, and if I’m lucky enough to live and see my future children grow up, then maybe I pass this on to them so that they can have a glimpse of my journey. So that they, too, can appreciate each and every day of their lives.
I lose myself in the sound of the pen moving over the paper, the rustle of the turning pages, only realizing I’ve been writing for almost two hours when my phone pings. I look around the room to find Emma asleep, her book resting on her face.
Carefully, I take the novel and place it on the shelf above her desk. I pick up my phone to find a text from Jesse. I smile instinctively. I haven’t even read the words, but that’s the way I react at the mere thought of him. I’m old enough to know that I definitely have a crush on him and it’s completely his fault. He’s too sweet, kind, and caring. He’s unbelievably handsome. And, well, clearly out of my league, so I’ll settle for having him as a friend.
You coming, Evans?
No, sir. Staying in tonight. Have fun though!
You’re breaking my heart, Red. I’d have more fun if you were here :(
I’m sure you’ll survive, Falcon.
I may not; you never know.
I may not have gone to the party, but from the speed his replies are coming in, maybe I’m not missing out on much—well, aside from missing out on the opportunity to see him.
Getting comfortable in bed, we text back and forth until I eventually fall asleep.
<
br /> 19
ZOE
For the first time in a long time, I take the stairs rather than the elevator out of my dorm. I’m blaming it on nerves; I feel like I have a whole swarm of butterflies in the pit of my stomach, all of them flapping around wildly in an effort to get out. I know I have that feeling for one reason, and one reason only: Jesse.
“Man, why does it feel like I haven’t seen you in ages?” he says as soon as I open the lobby door.
I try to hide my smile. “Because you haven’t. You abandoned me weeks ago.” I take a step closer, letting the door shut behind me I take him in—the length of his hair, the exact shade of blue of his eyes. I don’t know how I’m supposed to greet him—it’s been so long since we’ve been alone together.
“Come here,” he says, making the decision for me. He envelops me in a bear hug, one that reminds me that I miss him so damn much even though I shouldn’t. I hug him back, feeling the strength of his arms and smelling his cologne. Why does he always smell so good?
“Reacquainting yourself with the way I smell?”
I pull back right away, feeling my cheeks reddening. “No!”
He grins. “It’s okay. You haven’t sniffed me in a while. I get that you have to become familiar with me again.”
My eyes widen. “Are you comparing me to a dog?”
“Absolutely not. I was recalling your birthday and how you took your time breathing me in.”
Bragan Boys (Bragan University Boxset) Page 30
