“Daily?”
“Yes. Daily.”
“But—” I start to argue but realize it won’t work because he’s already hung up.
I lay back on my bed and look up at the ceiling. I’m frustrated to say the least, but I know it does me no good. When it comes to my father, there’s nothing I can do—not when he’s the reason I’m not paying for tuition, housing and books.
Not while my future, like his football players’, is in his hands.
21
EMMA
When I open my eyes, blinking at the number three on the clock, I realize I fell asleep. I never sleep for long, but I guess I had enough anger coursing through to knock me out for a few hours.
I search around for my phone, finding it under my pillow. When I unlock it, I find a chain of incoming emails.
To: [email protected]
From: Coach Wilson
Cc: [email protected]
Subject: Mandatory Meetings
Hayes,
I’ve decided that meeting once or twice a week is not sufficient. You and Emma Lynn will be meeting every day from now until the exam.
We need you on the field, son.
Coach.
I read and reread the email I’d been cc’d in on. I’m not at all surprised that he doesn’t even bother asking Zack if he can do daily meetings. I guess it’s my dad’s world we’re living in. I expect this sort of thing from my father, though, but it doesn’t necessarily mean Zack does. Still, that isn’t what stands out to me the most. It’s the fact that he calls Zack son and I’m just referred to as Emma Lynn. He doesn’t bother acknowledging that I’m his daughter and even though I don’t really want anyone to know, it still hurts more than I want it to—more than I’d ever admit.
I push down the feeling of rejection and keep reading the email thread.
To: Coach Wilson
From: [email protected]
Cc: [email protected]
Subject: Mandatory Meetings
Coach,
Do you think that’s necessary? I think once or twice a week is enough.
I’ll be out on that field, sir.
Best,
Hayes
Zack’s got a life. I bet he doesn’t want to increase the number of times he meets with me. It’s nothing against me personally—at least I hope it isn’t.
To: [email protected]
From: Coach Wilson
Cc: [email protected]
Subject: Mandatory Meetings
Hayes,
Failing isn’t an option. Daily meetings. I expect you to make it work.
Coach.
My father’s email doesn’t leave space for arguing and when I look at Zack’s reply, I realize he’s noticed that too.
To: Coach Wilson
From: [email protected]
Cc: [email protected]
Subject: Mandatory Meetings
Yes, sir.
I’m not at all surprised. He’s done what my father wants—just like I do, just like my mother’s done for years. It seems no one has the courage to stand up to mighty Coach Wilson.
I should rebel just to spite him, but I know Zack really needs the help. He needs to play. I’m not sure if it’s his love for the sport, or if there’s something bigger on the line, but the moment he begged me to not leave the library table, I knew he really wanted this.
I open another email, my father no longer on the thread.
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Mandatory Meetings
Emma Lynn,
Hope you’re not tired of seeing me already because, as you can tell, we’re going to be spending a lot more time together.
Yours,
Zack.
ZACK
As I wait for Emma Lynn to get back to me, I pick up a box and walk it over to the opposite side of storage; I can’t let my thoughts stop me from doing my job. I pray she doesn’t back out of this arrangement. I know she said it was a requirement, but it seems like it’ll be more than she originally signed up for.
Coach cc’d her into the emails where I showed no spine. She probably thinks I’m a coward. She might not know it, but he literally holds my future in his hands.
Still, there’s one problem for me to fix.
I have to add her to my already full schedule.
I mean, I’m not complaining about getting to see her more, but how am I supposed to make all this crap work? I’m already picking up extra shifts at work, I’ve gotta go home for Christmas tomorrow and I have to show up to practice and do workouts. I’m suddenly overwhelmed by the feeling that everything I’ve been trying so hard to juggle is going to fall down all at once.
I dismiss the thought, though. I’ve gotta keep doing it all.
I have no choice.
My phone pings with a notification and I look around to make sure the coast is clear before I fish it out of my back pocket.
Seeing Emma Lynn’s email address on my screen takes away some of the weight threatening to crush me.
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Mandatory Meetings
Seems like neither one of us has much of a choice.
Emma.
At least she’s agreed to do it. Maybe it’s compulsory but, either way, I’m glad I get to keep her as my tutor.
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Making the best out of it?
You’re stuck with me. I promise it won’t be that bad.
I had fun yesterday. I hope you did too.
Zack.
Desperate. My email sounds desperate and goes from talking about tutoring to validating that I wasn’t the only one who felt something yesterday. I run my fingers through my hair, mentally warning myself about getting too close.
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Might as well
I don’t think getting stuck with you is the worst thing that could happen. I mean, at least you’re easy on the eyes.
I had a lot of fun with you yesterday, too.
How are we going to do this meeting everyday thing?
Emma.
Did Emma just flirt with me? I peer more closely at the screen. That’s gotta be flirting. I mean, she said I’m easy on the eyes. That’s pretty much saying I’m a Greek God. I smile more than I should as I reread her words.
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: I’m with it
Did you just say I’m hot? I feel like that was the equivalent of calling me hot. Emma thinks I’m hot. *Starts singing Emma Thinks I’m Hot at the top of my lungs.*
Let’s start with tomorrow?
Yours,
Hot Zack.
Maybe I’m doing too much, but I hope not. Emma is shy in person, but her emails show a different side of her. It’s nice seeing the different aspects of her personality. I also like that I can challenge her just to see how far I can go. Just be careful you don’t push her so far away she stops tutoring you, the logical part of my mind tells me.
There are a million warning signs, a million things telling me to not pursue this. But with every incoming email—every new encounter with her—the signs seem further and further away.
I realize it’s because they’re behind me as I push forward in search of something I shouldn’t want—something I shouldn’t have.
22
ZACK
I put away box after box while my phone mocks me from inside my pocket. I’ve pulled it out so many times because my mind’s been playing tricks on me, telling me it was buzzing when it wasn’t.
Emma’s going to get me fired.
Well, I’m going to get myself fired if I don’t keep work
ing more and using my phone less.
The thing is, I can’t help being worried. The longer it takes for her to respond, the longer I feel like I’ve overstepped the line. Again.
I went too far.
But I don’t even know where the line is. She complimented me and I ran with it. That’s not enough for her to shut me out... Is it?
My phone buzzes again and I ignore it this time. I open up the box in front of me, sorting the merchandise onto the racks. I repeat the same steps until I can’t do it any longer—until exhaustion and temptation get the better of me.
I pull out my damn phone, head straight toward the email app and feel my pulse rise when I recognize who the email is from. The subject line is just ellipsis and, man, if that doesn’t make me nervous, I don’t know what would.
I press the button and read the email as quickly as possible. Then I reread it because I can’t believe Emma’s response.
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: …
I said you’re easy on the eyes. That’s nowhere near calling you ‘hot.’ If anything, average would be a better description. Also, please tell me you aren’t actually singing that out loud?
Won’t you be away for Christmas?
Sincerely,
Emma Didn’t Call You Hot.
Looking behind me every few seconds, I type out a response.
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Don’t ellipsis me, it scares me
Average?! You think I’m just average?
Well, if you’re not doing anything tomorrow… You can come with me.
Zack.
Shit. Did I just invite her to spend Christmas with me and my family? I definitely just invited her over to my house. I’m taking the damn bus home and yet, I extended an invitation to her! What the hell is wrong with me?
I shut off my phone and put it in the break room—as far from me as possible—before returning to the storage room where I start thinking about the many ways in which this can go wrong.
She’s going to find out you’re poor.
You just invited her to meet your parents.
You’re an idiot.
I’ve hung out with her for a grand total of two days—two days—and here I am inviting her to spend the holidays with me and my family.
Okay, well, while I may be insane, Emma’s smart enough to turn down my invitation.
How could she accept?
She hates football…and football players.
During my break, I head straight to my locker to grab my phone. I take a bite of the nutrition bar I packed and start scrolling. I pretend I’m looking aimlessly through all my apps, but I know I’m not.
Avoiding the unread email waiting for me, I read my text messages. Mom wants to know what time I’m coming over tomorrow. Nick wants to know if I want to go to a party. Some of the younger guys want to know if we can go over a few things in the playbook. Everyone wants to know something. I respond to each message, taking my sweet time because the moment I’m done, there’ll only be one thing left to do.
With ten minutes left on my break, I finally give in and check my email.
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Big Baby
Average is good. That’s what you need to pass biology.
To your parent’s house? Aren’t you spending the night there?
Emma
Her email gives me an out. I can tell her it was a dumb idea and that I’m staying the night there. That’s exactly what I can say to walk it back. I wish my fingers had taken the memo though. Instead of taking the rope she so graciously extends my way, I take a shovel and dig myself in even deeper.
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Only Sometimes
Ha ha very funny.
I know you mentioned you were staying put for the holidays. My parents are only a little less than a two hour drive from here. Why don’t you come with me tomorrow? We can get some studying in and then dinner… with my parents…and then come back to school. I don’t have to stay the whole night.
Zack.
EMMA
Okay, so I’m not crazy. He’s definitely inviting me to spend Christmas with him and his parents. I’ve known the guy for a hot second, and he’s telling me to take a trip with him to his parents’ house? If he really wanted to study tomorrow, he’d have just said we can meet after he comes back.
It’s definitely weird.
I start pacing the length of my room, looking at all the emails I’ve sent him, questioning everything. I can’t believe I told him he was attractive. He called me out on it too, which is what I expected. But then… Then I shot his ego down by telling him he was average and he invited me home with him for Christmas.
I should say no.
I mean, it can’t possibly be a real invitation. He probably feels bad for me because I told him I didn’t have any plans. He probably thinks I don’t have a family or something. I can’t say yes.
Whatever the reason, agreeing to go with him would be insane.
It’s an almost two-hour trip. I would be in a car with Zack for two hours with nowhere to escape.
I could bring my e-reader…
Stop thinking about it! You are not going, I tell myself.
Why would I meet his parents?
I’m his tutor.
Not his girlfriend.
This is crazy.
I’m saying no.
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Are you sure?
I don’t mind staying put. I don’t want you to invite me over for Christmas because you feel bad I’ll be staying at school. Staying at school is a personal choice. You should know Zoe asked me to go with her and I said no.
You also shouldn’t invite me just because you want to obey Coach. It’s not like we’d get any work done. I know he said every day, but he can’t possibly expect you to meet with me over Christmas. I won’t tell on you for skipping a day or two.
Emma
23
EMMA
I grab my computer and put it inside of my book bag. I should’ve said no. This was a bad idea from the very beginning, but as the night went on and our emails went back and forth, I’d said yes.
Why did I say yes?
Because I’m an idiot, that’s why.
Only someone without a brain would agree to such a thing.
It’s about 8 AM when I leave my dorm. Walking down the stairs, I can feel the weight of my decision. My heart tells me I should turn around and go back to my room. I should email Zack and tell him I can no longer make it. Maybe I can tell him I woke up sick? But there’s a small part of my brain telling me that it’s time to take a risk. I always do what’s expected, and this is very much unlike me. Live a little, right?
I walk the short distance to the parking lot and unlock my car. Throwing my bag into the trunk first, I slide into the driver’s seat and wonder if I’m doing the right thing just one more time. The only consolation is I’m driving, which will give me some control—something to focus on. Then again, I couldn’t focus very well the last time I was in a car with Zack. That ride took less than ten minutes; this one will take two hours.
I start the car, pulling out of the lot and driving toward the Football House. When I pull up outside, I shoot him an email to let him know I’m here. Only a couple of minutes pass before he steps out of the house, running his fingers through his hair.
I unlock the door and wait for him to get in, my nerves making me feel queasy.
“This is crazy,” he says the moment he gets in.
“Me going over to your house for Christmas?” I’m unable to hide the vulnerability in my voice. If he thinks this is wrong, then we definitely shouldn’t be
doing it.
“Yeah… Don’t you think it is?” he asks.
I turn to face him. “Yes.”
“But here we are,” he says, taking a deep breath and putting on his seatbelt. I guess that means we’re going.
“It’s not too late to change your mind. I can go back home. I really don’t mind,” I say, giving him the opportunity to make this easier for the both of us.
He shakes his head, resolve evident in his eyes. “Nonsense. You’re already here and I invited you, so we’re doing this.”
Bragan Boys (Bragan University Boxset) Page 49
