by Jayne Rylon
“Oh, you’re in trouble now.” Kurt dragged her toward the door.
Their playful interaction was night-and-day different from how Brad had treated her. Yes, Brielle would love to watch them have sex. Even if it made her a freak.
“If you need us, we’ll be right down the hall.” Becca looked over her shoulder before crossing the threshold.
“I’ll be fine, thanks.” Brielle spoke to Becca, but stared into Luke’s eyes. Compassion emanated from them.
“I’ll make sure of it.” He hugged her again, chafing warmth into her cool skin. “Can you lie down and close your eyes? Or is it like a hangover when you wake up from a dream like that?”
“Usually I can’t go to sleep again right away.” She slid beneath the covers when he pulled them back.
Luke tucked in beside her, gathering her to his chest. “I don’t know how you survived that so long. I swear that’s not how things are supposed to be. We’ll show you what it can be like. If you want, you and I could try it sometime.”
“It’s not weird that I still think about those things, even after…everything?” Luke’s heart skipped a beat beneath her cheek.
“No.” His hands roamed over her back and into her hair, massaging her scalp. “Not at all. How much pleasure did it bring you last night when I held your waist?”
“A lot.” She groaned, rubbing against him involuntarily.
“That’s all that counts. If it makes you feel good, do more of it. If it doesn’t, do less. Or tell me to.” Though his erection pressed into her thigh, he didn’t attempt to coax her into relieving that need.
Brielle reached for him. He took her hand and wove their fingers together. “I don’t think I can right now, Cookie.”
“You’re really hard,” she whispered, thinking of the moisture pooling between her thighs as well. Something about having him hold her, safe, in the aftermath of all that awfulness, called out to her.
“It’ll go away.” He didn’t sound so sure. “I’m still angry, Brielle. At your ex. Your father too. Fate for putting someone as innocent as you in that position. I won’t touch you like this, when I’m on the verge of losing control.”
His restraint, even in the face of his own discomfort, proved to her again that he was the perfect man to walk beside her on this journey. Emotions welled up inside her and she felt a glad tear roll over the bridge of her nose and drop onto his chest. Then another and another.
Silently, she cried.
It didn’t take him long to notice or smother her in affection. The sweet care he lavished on her only opened the floodgate further. She couldn’t say how long she vented her misery while he protected her from the rest of the world. But by the time she finished, not a drop of moisture left within her, sleepiness had replaced panic. Hope had filled in the gaps left by the draining of all her dread.
Brielle yawned between the tiny sniffles lingering.
“Doze if you can.” He sounded like he might be close to relaxing too. “It’s going to be another intense day tomorrow.”
“’Kay” was all she could manage.
“You’re incredible, Cookie.” He trailed his fingers back and forth over her shoulder then started singing softly again.
“I Got You Babe” instantly became her favorite song. She drifted off with a smile on her face and evaporating tears on her cheeks.
Chapter Seventeen
“Good morning, sleepyheads.”
A light knock stirred Brielle from peaceful slumber. Awareness crept in gradually. The mixture of hardness beneath softness made her realize she had been kneading Luke’s chest like a kitten for some undetermined amount of time.
“You don’t have to stop,” he practically purred. “I like that you’re groping me even in your sleep.”
Brielle shot upright and grabbed a pillow, which she used to whack him over the head.
He laughed and returned the favor.
Like a sunny morning after a storm, all their clouds had lifted.
“What the hell is going on in here?” Kurt peeked over his wife’s head at the chaos ensuing. “That’s not exactly the kind of mattress gymnastics I thought we might be butting in on.”
Luke paused and sniffed the air. His stomach rumbled loudly. “Holy shit, is that breakfast?”
His friends each carried a tray. Becca handed one to Brielle then sat on the edge of the mattress closest to Kurt’s desk when he set down a matching meal and slid out the chair there, preparing to dig in.
“Yeah.” Kurt forked up a slice of bacon. “Becca figured I’d need some fuel for today’s session. She knows me so well.”
His wife blushed even as she rolled her eyes. “I know this is a little informal, what with us hanging around in our pajamas and all. I don’t expect much about this weekend therapy to be status quo, though. I just wanted to recap yesterday and say I think you’re doing terrific, Brielle.”
Luke dug into a stack of pancakes, holding out a bite for her. She gladly took the offering, closing her eyes at the unexpected flavor. “What’s on top of those?”
“It’s ginger syrup.” Kurt hummed as he sampled some of his own. “I love this stuff. Unusual, yet twice as tasty as plain old maple syrup. Sometimes things don’t have to be what you expect to be amazing, Brielle. I hope you’ll see that today.”
“I guess that’s part of what I wanted to cover.” Becca paused with her orange juice halfway to her lips. “After Luke told me about your past, and you shared the details of your father’s death, I assumed I understood the basis of your claustrophobia quite well. However, last night got me thinking.”
Luke drew her glare when he whispered conspiratorially to Brielle, “Uh oh, she’s dangerous when she really gets going.”
“It’s not the fear of being unable to escape a confined space that really scares you, is it?” Becca asked.
Brielle sucked in a few deep breaths at the thought of the coat closet at the banquet. “It’s not a pleasant feeling to consider being trapped.”
“But you didn’t have any trouble with this room last night.” Becca scooted closer, abandoning her omelet. “Not even after your nightmare.”
Luke paused too.
“I think what really terrifies you is a more fundamental schema.” She seemed to be excited by the line of thought.
“That means a set of beliefs, Cookie,” Luke interpreted for her.
“Yeah, sorry. Tell me if I’m going way out there, but maybe what terrifies you is something along the lines of… Did I make the right decision? The part of your nightmare that stood out to me most last night was when you fixated on Brad’s accusation that you chose what he did to you. The same thing caught my attention in your story about running away and the man in the park who tried to molest you. You chose the park and it didn’t work out. You chose the closet in your father’s house. You chose to take the elevator to Luke’s office…or not. I think you doubt your own judgment. And I can’t imagine how difficult it must be to live in constant fear of yourself.”
Brielle didn’t realize silent tears were streaming down her face until Luke collected her into his lap. Hell, she hadn’t cried as much in her whole life as she had in the past few days. She hated being so weak. And so transparent to everyone but herself.
Or maybe Becca was just really good at her job.
“That’s brilliant.” Kurt sounded in awe of his wife. So maybe it hadn’t been so obvious to him either. “I think you’re exactly right.”
“Luke said the same thing, two nights ago.” Brielle barely choked the words out. “He was talking about sex, about holding me down, but…I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since then.”
He kissed the wet trails from her cheeks, murmuring reassurance. “I didn’t see the big picture like she did. I only thought it was your claustrophobia at war with your desire for bondage. It sounds entirely plausible to me, Brielle. But you have to tell us what you feel.”
“I feel like a sweater with a rip in it. Like I’m about to unr
avel, and I’m not sure what’s underneath. It might have been ugly but it’s kept me from freezing to death all this time.” She plucked at the hem of the nightgown she wore, barely covering her from these three people she would love to call true friends.
“I think that’s a pretty good indication that we’re on the right track.” Luke kissed her gently, tasting of the sharp, refreshing tang of ginger. Unexpected and delicious. “I know it’s uncomfortable. Dizzying, even. But you’ve made so many changes in the past week, that’s to be expected.”
“Thanks for keeping me from falling on my face.” She thunked her forehead onto his chest.
“Anytime.” He laid his jaw on top of her head.
“So, if that’s the case,” Becca continued, “I think what we really need to work on, in addition to showing you BDSM practiced properly is not anything like your nightmares, is your self-confidence. You’ve done an amazing job of picking paths through tricky situations that would have destroyed many other people. Getting you to believe it is a long-term issue we can work on together in sessions to come.”
“And for today?” Brielle hoped she knew what Becca would say.
“We stick to the plan.” The psychologist winked. “I’m not giving up the chance to show off Kurt. And I honestly believe you’ll find it valuable to see that what you want is not the horrible choice you’ve been led to believe by circumstances outside of your control. It’s not a bad decision to submit if you have a knowledgeable, skilled, sensitive and trained partner. Trust what you want. Trust that you’ve selected the right man.”
A weight about as heavy as the bus she usually rode to work lifted from her shoulders. Forcing herself to see the world through Becca’s lens changed everything yet again. She nodded and pushed the rest of her cinnamon toast into the corner of the tray.
“Not eating?” Luke brushed a crumb from the corner of her mouth with the pad of his thumb. “Are you upset?”
She sucked it into her mouth, cleaning the slight stickiness from it. “Nah. More like anxious. The positive kind.”
“Well then,” he declared in a stern voice, “you’d better finish that. Because playing voyeur always makes me horny as hell. Don’t expect to sit on the sidelines as if you’re watching a movie.”
“Why not?” She whipped her gaze to Kurt and Becca. “Is that okay?”
“What you choose to do, or not, is up to you.” The redhead smirked. “But he’s not lying. Sex as a spectator sport is one of Luke’s favorite pastimes.”
Kurt shifted in his seat. “Are you about done eating?”
Pancakes flew off Luke’s plate at an alarming rate as he forked in the fluffy discs, followed by some eggs, bacon and the rest of her toast. When he realized they all stared at him, he shrugged. “What? I’m in a hurry. And I love breakfast in bed.”
“Less talking, more chewing.” Kurt wagged his finger at Luke.
Brielle added gourmet French toast to her list of epicurean experiments. Hopefully there’d be plenty of mornings he was around to sample her progress.
He wiped his hands and face, scrunched up his napkin and took the tray to the bathroom. In less than thirty seconds, he’d cleaned Becca and Kurt’s dishes as well.
“What are we waiting for?” He put one hand on his hip and tapped his sexy bare toes.
All three of them cracked up.
Brielle climbed from bed and joined him near the door to the laboratory.
“Go ahead and get comfortable.” Kurt waved his hand toward the other space. “We’ll be with you in just a second. I want to make sure Becca is in the right frame of mind.”
“Does that mean strip?” Luke draped his arm around Brielle’s shoulder but looked to his friends.
“You heard the lady.” Kurt shrugged. “What you do is up to you.”
“Today is going to be a good day.” He gave a happy sigh, patted his belly with his free hand then ushered Brielle into the adjoining space.
Luke whipped his T-shirt over his head and tossed it to the floor. They hadn’t even made it the ten steps to the leather wingback chair in the corner. Brielle recognized the enormous seat from Kurt’s office. There wasn’t as much space as, say, a bed, but it would have to do.
Any other time, she would have waited for Luke to instruct her. Today, she was a new woman. A bold woman. And she took what she liked.
Brielle came up behind him, putting her arms around his waist. She ran her hands from his taut abs up to his chest. A breath hissed out of him when she played with the hard discs of his nipples, pinching them lightly.
“Maybe I’d better leave my shorts on.” His head fell back, exposing the powerful cords of his neck. She wished she were tall enough to suck on them as she had two nights ago.
“I prefer you naked.” Power flooded her as she ran her hands down his sides, loving his shiver when she scraped her nails over his toned waist. She didn’t stop when her fingers encountered the drawstring of the cotton hugging him to perfection. “Besides, it seems only polite. I assume Kurt isn’t going to perform on Becca with both of them fully clothed.”
“Guh.” Luke’s hips thrust when she slipped her hands inside and found his hard-on. The motion shoved his cock through her grip. She smiled against his back when she felt how slippery he was already. Sliding her hand to the base of his erection, she cupped his balls. “You’re torturing me, Cookie.”
The nickname was a warning. She withdrew before she pushed him too far. God only knew how long it would be before any of them found release. All she could say for sure was that being part of their circle, trusting them to help her and care for her made her far more willing to see where things led and far less patient about getting to the destination.
When he caught his breath a bit, Luke turned in her hold. He stared into her eyes as his head lowered. “Amazing,” he whispered just before he sealed his mouth over hers.
“I missed this last night,” she murmured when he paused to drink in some air.
His forehead rested on hers and he chuckled. “I guess we should have given them a show first. I’m dying now. There’s no way I’m going to make it through their demonstration with you on my lap.”
Brielle surprised herself. She shoved him hard so that the chair hit the back of his knees and he sat with an oomph.
“Cookie?”
“Cookie monster maybe.” She faux growled as she slid into the gap between his spread thighs.
Laughter warmed him. “Hard to be afraid of something as cute as you.”
“Even when I do this?” She grasped his shorts and tugged. They didn’t come all the way off, but they lodged far enough beneath his ass that she could reach in and extract his cock.
“Okay, now you’ve got my attention.” His erection twitched in her grasp. “What are you planning to do with that thing?”
“Something I haven’t tried yet.” Brielle licked her lips.
“Oh Jesus.” His head hit the chair back. “Seriously. I won’t be able to resist your mouth.”
“So don’t.” She smiled a little shyly. “Then again, I’ve, uh, never really done this before. Brad didn’t like anything but straight fucking. I might suck at it.”
“That’s definitely the point.” Luke flashed that lopsided grin and his dimples, visible now that he’d shaved that awful goatee, upped his smoking factor to about five billion and thirty-seven. “It’s not rocket science.”
She decided the brave new her should throw caution to the wind and go with her gut. Leaning in, she licked the fluid glazing his thick, purple head.
A raspy groan had her pulling off pretty damn quick.
“That was a happy sound.” Luke curled his fingers toward his palm in a come-hither gesture. “Do it again. If you want.”
He didn’t have to ask twice. She teased him a bit more, lapping from the root of his penis to the tip. When she got to the top she put him in her mouth, choking a little when she took too much, too fast.
“You don’t have to go so quick. Take your time.
Slow feels just as good. Hell, Brielle, I could come on command right now. Maybe it’s best you’re taking the edge off. I wouldn’t want to embarrass myself in front of Kurt and Becca. Or you, for that matter.”
His cock slipped from between her lips. She looked up at him and said, “Don’t hold back on my account. I don’t want you to suffer. And I get the feeling my jaw is going to be sore in just a few minutes. You’re kind of…chubby.”
Amusement had his cock bobbing along with the rest of his body. She loved making him laugh and joining in.
This time she savored him as she slid down his length. She paused when he became a mouthful, rubbing the flat of her tongue underneath his shaft to discover the feel of his prominent veins. When her mouth began to ache she rose, spreading kisses over his head, then descended again.
His thighs quivered beneath her palms.
If she could have roared with him filling her mouth, she would have. To know he granted her this much trust and influence over him thrilled her. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw his balls drawing tight to his core. She cupped them in her palm and rolled them around gently.
With her other hand, she encased the second half of his cock in her fingers. Her lips rested on her knuckles and she moved them together, caressing all of him at once.
“Cookie. Stop if you aren’t ready for me to come in your mouth.” Grasping the arms of the chair, his knuckles turned white. “I’m so close. Going to—”
When she smiled, the slightest hint of her teeth abraded his solid cock. He didn’t finish his warning. Instead, his entire body locked tight then exploded. His hips thrust upward, wedging his dick in her mouth an instant before jets of warm, salty come overflowed the space remaining around his embedded hard-on.
She swallowed as best she could, but dribbles escaped and painted her lips with his desire. He quaked and thumped his fists on the chair. Even his toes curled on either side of her knees.
And then he went totally lax, his chest heaving as his belly still occasionally clenched.
Brielle stared at him, captivated by his masculine beauty.
All the while, she rubbed her hands from his knees to hips, calming and soothing him as he recovered from what appeared to be an epic orgasm. Several seconds later, he lifted his hips, whipped his shorts off and used them to clean the remnants of his climax from his crotch.
