by Alisa Adams
Ever since this day had been arranged, thinking about it had filled him with dread, but he had always been able to tell himself that it was still some time away. Now, however, the day was upon him. For some reason, he had assumed that something would happen to prevent the wedding from taking place, but it seemed as though it would go ahead without anything intruding on the day. A stray thought passed through his mind, that he could break the agreement and renege on the promise. It was tempting, but it would only lead to more anguish. The Bashir family would not take such a slight lightly and would come in force, seeking to soak the Mackenzie fields in blood.
He left the grounds of the keep and walked across the grassy field, looking out at the valleys. The day was brilliant and as he looked at the horizon, he was filled with awe. The valleys were covered in purple and green and in the distance, a fine mist hid what lay beyond. To the south was a thick wood, a wood he had traversed many times for it led to the Lowlands, to the border with England. It had been the cause of much of his suffering, but that was about to end with this marriage alliance.
Life had been strange for Seamus. There had been much sorrow in his life and he had never thought he would marry again, especially not to an English girl, but his duty commanded him to do what was right for the clan and this would mean an end to the ongoing conflict. It was the right thing to do for the clan and for the English, but he wondered if it was the right thing to do for the people who were going to be husband and wife.
Putting those thoughts aside for the moment, he made his way to the spring and undressed, leaving his clothes near a rock on the side. The spring’s water was crystal clear and at that moment, he was the only one present. He dove in, made a loud splash, and felt the refreshing embrace of the water. Submerging himself for a few moments, the world went silent. The only thing he could hear was his heartbeat. He held his breath until his lungs began to burn and then he broke through the surface of the water and shook his head. Droplets from his hair were released and they created small ripples all around him as they hit the water. He leaned back and spread his arms out, keeping him afloat. The air was sweet out there and his body enjoyed the feeling of being cleansed by the spring water. He reached down and scrubbed himself, dunking his head in the water again to make sure that he was at his best for Sarina.
“Seamus Mackenzie,” a voice called out loudly, breaking his peace. It was Karen. He groaned inwardly for there was no escape.
“What dae ye want?” he asked.
“I want ye tae tell me what ye are thinking! Ye would bring an English lass here tae be ye wife?”
“It is nae a decision I hae taken lightly. It is best for everyone, believe me, and it is nae ye business.”
“Nay! It is my business if it is anyones! If ye wanted tae get married then there is a strong Scottish lass standing right in front of ye. Are ye blind man? I hae been waiting for the day when ye would move on from the past, waiting for the day when ye would see me standing in front of ye, but ye seem tae be mad. Ye would choose an English lass over me?”
Seamus sighed. “It is nae as simple as that, Karen. I am nae marrying her for love.”
“That makes it even worse. Ciara would be turning in her grave if she could see ye now.”
Anger rose within Seamus. He slammed his arms in the water and swam to the surface where he emerged and jabbed a finger at Karen. “Dinnae take her name in vain! Dinnae talk about her like that!” he yelled. Then he saw Karen’s shocked face, her eyes wide as she gazed at his groin. Only then did he realize that he was naked, a fact that he had forgotten in his angry haste. His cheeks flushed red and he quickly dove for his cloak before wrapping it around his waist. Water dripped from his muscles and hair. Karen stood there, stunned.
“It is time for ye tae leave me Karen. I dinnae wish tae hear any more of this,” he said and gathered his remaining clothes before storming away with a face like thunder. It was bad enough that his own mind plagued him with thoughts about Ciara let alone that other people should bring her up as well. Her presence lingered around this keep, haunting him, it was comforting and frustrating in equal measure.
“What troubles ye brother?” Angus said upon Seamus’ return to the keep. Angus wore a cheery smile and his auburn hair glowed red in the morning sun.
“Never ye mind,” Seamus said sharply.
“That is nae way tae treat ye brother on ye wedding day!” Angus said. Seamus didn’t say anything. He merely kept on walking. Angus tried to pull him back, but Seamus wasn’t having any of it. However, the brothers were as stubborn as each other.
“Who was it that mentioned her name this time?” Angus asked.
“What are ye talking about?”
“Ciara.”
Seamus stopped. He looked around, aware of everyone in the courtyard, and pulled Angus inside where they could speak alone. “How many times hae I told ye tae nae mention her,” Seamus rasped.
“Brother, ye cannae gae through life without talking about her. She would nae want that and it is showing nay respect tae her either. She was ye wife, man.”
“Aye, ye think I can forget that? Dae ye think a day goes by without me thinking of her and the life I could hae had?”
“I am sure ye dinnae, brother, but ye must live the life ye hae been given. It was a tragedy what happened tae her, but ye cannae let that define ye. She would nae want that. She loved ye and she wanted ye tae be happy more than anything in the world.”
Seamus glared in anger. “I ken that! But I cannae force myself tae hae these feelings. I cannae make myself forget.”
“But it is nae daeing ye any good. It’s like she took a part of ye with her.”
“Maybe she did Angus.”
“Then I pity the lass marrying ye taeday.”
“As dae I,” Seamus said glumly. Angus clapped a hand on his shoulder and smiled.
“Ye never know, she may be the most beautiful English lass in the land.”
Seamus smiled at his brother’s optimism, not that he believed him.
“Anyway brother,” Angus continued, “I came tae find ye because Da would like tae speak with ye. And is there anything else ye need be tae dae for the wedding?”
“I think ye hae everything in hand,” Seamus said. He moved away from Angus, reaching the door before he paused and tilted his head down. “I dae appreciate everything ye hae done for me, Angus. Ye are a good brother and I hope tae repay ye one day.” With that he left and went to find his father, wondering what words of wisdom Donald Mackenzie had to bestow upon him today.
3
Sarina had made herself ready for the day. After bathing, she had picked out a blue dress to wear. It covered her entire body and had a frilly hem which spread out around her ankles. The dress she was going to wear at the ceremony was in a trunk and ready to be transported to the Highlands. She did not want to risk getting it dirty. Sarina plaited her hair and clasped a silver locket around her neck. Inside was a picture of her father.
“I’m doing this for you, Father,” she said softly, holding the locket in between her thumb and forefinger. Before leaving the privacy of her room, Sarina breathed in deeply and composed herself. Then, holding her head high, she opened the door and was greeted with a crowd. All of her family and closest friends were there and were offering their congratulations. At the head of the crowd was Thomas who clapped most vehemently of all.
He walked up to her and offered his hand which she took. “I’d like to present to you my sister, Sarina Bashir, whose marriage to Laird Seamus Mackenzie is going to ensure peace in our times. No longer will we have to worry about our farms getting raided by Highland bandits nor will we have to say goodbye to our brave soldiers in an endless dance of skirmishes. No, my sister is brave and I hope that you will join me now in offering your congratulations and celebrations.” He led Sarina through the crowd toward the carriage that was going to take her to the Mackenzie territory. Sarina smiled politely although deep inside she resented Thomas for ever putting her in this
position.
The carriage was a tall and wide mode of transport with floral patterns etched into the sides. Two gray horses stood resolute at the front, ready to pull the carriage away. Atop the carriage was space for her luggage to be stored. Sarina’s other brothers, Matthew and Harold, saw to this. Sarina watched them carefully put the luggage on top of the carriage, knowing that in one of those chests the dagger was held, waiting to be used.
“Do you have anything you wish to say?” Thomas asked.
Sarina licked her lips uneasily as she looked around at the crowd before her, each of them with gratitude in her eyes, the women especially. They knew the sacrifice she was making. On the other hand, the men saw her as a mere pawn in their game. Some of them had had designs on her themselves and she wondered what Thomas had promised them to ensure that they did not try and oppose his wishes. It saddened her to think that her destiny was not of her own choosing.
“I want to thank you all for everything you have done for me and my family. I am filled with sorrow to be leaving my home and my family, but I know that I shall not be alone for I will carry you all in my heart. I will be thinking of you all often and although I shall be married to a Scottish man, I will never forget that I am English at heart.”
Her words pleased the crowd. They smiled, applauded her, and wished her a good life. She doubted that any of them were envious of her and none of them knew the secret mission Thomas had entrusted her with. As she stepped toward the carriage and away from her home, her eyes filled with tears. She wiped them away, not wanting to show any sign of weakness in front of her brothers.
Harold and Matthew grinned at her. All the boys were the picture of their father. Each one shared his square jaw, blue eyes, and a crop of thick dark hair. Matthew was the second eldest and Harold was Sarina’s younger brother. When she looked at them, Sarina remembered the joys of playing with them as children, running through the fields without a care in the world. Now, they were men and she was a woman. There was a distance between them that had never mattered when they were younger. She looked in their eyes and wondered if they knew of Thomas’ plan too, but she was too afraid to ask. She was too afraid to even speak of the evil deed she had taken upon herself.
Unlike Sarina, whose dress was plain and simple, the boys wore some of their father’s old clothes. They were smart and official, complete with shiny brass buttons which their father had always taken pride in. When she was younger, one of Sarina’s tasks was to polish her father’s buttons to teach her discipline. She remembered now how her fingers ached after spending hours at those buttons. Father had always told them that it was important to look the part and to put forth an image of oneself that inspired awe and confidence in people. It was a lesson the boys had taken to heart, although Sarina preferred to blend into the background. As the only girl, she had always attracted attention from the friends of her father and brothers, quite unwanted attention too.
Matthew and Harold grunted as they loaded her luggage onto the wagon. It seemed strange to think that her entire life could be held in these chests. Everything she amounted to was on this carriage. Sarina turned around and waved. Thomas strode up to her and gave her a chaste kiss on the cheek.
“Don’t forget to take your opportunity. I will see you soon sister and Father can finally be at peace.”
Sarina nodded and that uneasy knot coiled in her stomach again. Harold held out his hand and helped her into the carriage. He shut the door behind her. Sarina was alone.
Matthew and Harold sat outside. They would take turns guiding the horses. Sarina would content herself by gazing out of the window as the lush colors of the forest passed by. She splayed her hands in her lap and sighed, letting her body surrender to the rattling rhythm of the carriage as the wooden wheels trundled along the uneven path.
They soon left the house behind and passed into the shadows of the forest. This was the natural barrier between the Highlands and the Lowlands and many of the battles between her family and Seamus’ clan had taken place just beyond these forests. Her father had always warned her never to stray too far into the forest for there was never any telling where a Highlander may appear, so as a child, she had only been allowed to come here when she was with a guardian.
The forest seemed so peaceful and she was envious of the animals that leaped about freely. She saw squirrels and badgers rustling through the underbrush and going about their day. Through the gaps in the trees where the golden sunlight slanted through, Sarina saw birds soaring overhead. How she wished she could do something similar, simply spread her wings and fly anywhere in the world. A smile crept on her face as she thought about where she might go, although her experience of the world was so limited that she could not fathom the wonders that the world might offer.
On occasion, she saw some birds nesting in trees, flying back and feeding their chirping fledglings. Sarina had always wanted a family and she wondered if she would truly be able to ever have what she wanted. It seemed as though her life was not her own. She was merely an instrument in her brother’s plan for revenge.
They traveled for a little while more when suddenly Sarina shouted for them to stop. She banged on the carriage until her palm stung, calling out repeatedly.
“Yes, yes, we’re stopping,” Matthew huffed. The carriage crawled to a halt and the horses whinnied as they halted their trotting rhythm. Matthew and Harold alighted from their horse as Sarina pushed open the door, hitched up her skirt, and jumped down onto the grassy ground.
“What in the heavens is the matter?” Harold asked, wondering why his sister was in such a panic.
“Perhaps she heeds the call of nature,” Matthew said with a wicked grin. Sarina ignored them both and marched over to a small copse.
“Sarina!” Harold called and scampered after her. Sarina had only one purpose in mind and nothing was going to stop her. She walked across the soft ground and came to the wounded deer she had seen from her vantage point in the carriage. It looked to be a fawn for it’s antlers were still small. It’s eyes were wide and glassy and it’s fur was a tawny brown which was flecked with white spots. It was a beautiful creature, but a huge gash ran down its stomach.
“We must help it,” Sarina said as she fell to her knees and tentatively reached out her hand to the deer. It raised its head and sniffed her hand then turned away slightly. Sarina took this as a good sign and reached out further until her fingers touched the rough fur, stroking and caressing it gently. The deer arched it’s neck back with delight, but there was pain in it’s eyes.
“Sarina, we cannot delay,” Harold said.
Matthew came sauntering over. “What’s going on then?” he asked.
“Sarina wants to save this deer,” Harold said.
Matthew scoffed. “I’ll help put it out of it’s misery,” he said and drew his sword. Upon hearing the sound of his weapon being unsheathed, Sarina turned to face Matthew, putting herself in between her brother and the deer and spread her arms like wings to try and protect it.
“No!” she cried.
“Sarina, you have far too soft a heart. This beast is clearly in pain and it will be a mercy to end its suffering,” Matthew said, although Sarina knew the only reason he wanted to kill it was to add it to his list of beasts he killed. Matthew had always been obsessed with warfare and fighting. Even from a young age, he had shown a preference for hunting and took great pride in his skills. However, to Sarina this didn’t even seem like hunting, it was just killing a wounded animal for the sake of it. There was still aid she could give.
“It still lives and while it lives, I shall endeavor to help it! Now, go back to the carriage and get a plain shirt. I need to tend to this wound,” she ordered. Matthew didn’t move, not even when she glared at him. Harold did though and Matthew rolled his eyes.
“I don’t know why you seek to trouble yourself with this,” he said, gesturing to the deer with a wave of his hand. This dismissive, callous gesture lit a spark within Sarina.
“This anim
al is in pain and while I am able to help its pain, I would like to do so. We have a responsibility to nature to tend to animals and nurture them back to health. I do not know the story of this deer, but it is clearly in distress and I cannot in all good conscience leave it here to die slowly.”
Matthew arched his eyebrows, exhaled slowly, and then stepped away. He sheathed his sword, a look of disappointment on his face, and then turned his back on her. Sarina tended to the deer, stroking it softly and whispering to it that it would be well again soon. Harold returned with a white shirt. Sarina took the clothes without hesitation and ripped a piece of it off. Harold winced and gasped as she destroyed the item of clothing.
“This deer needs it more than I,” Sarina said, noticing his reaction. She placed the piece of cloth against the wound. The deer winced and a bleat of pain escaped it’s mouth. Sarina gently pressed the cloth against it’s wound. The white fabric soon turned red as it soaked up the blood. Sarina carefully wiped the blood away, trying to clean the wound as much as possible so that it wouldn’t get infected. She had no idea how this deer had survived such a wound. It looked as though it had been inflicted by some huge claw of a predator and if indeed this deer had escaped the clutches of a predator then it had done well.
Once Sarina had cleaned the wound, she took the rest of the shirt and placed it over the deer. The blood was sticky enough that the fabric clung to the deer easily. It wasn’t an ideal way of tending to the wound, but there wasn’t a readily available source of water to properly clean it. She hoped that this would be enough to protect the wound from dirt and infection and to perhaps hide the smell so that predators would not be aware of the deer’s vulnerable state.
