by Barbara Gee
“Thanks for your support. I really appreciate it.” Kelly unlocked her car, willing her shaky legs to not give out before she could sink into the seat. “I’ll see you on Monday.”
“You’re sure you’re okay? I know Charlene can get under a person’s skin.”
“I’m fine. Have a good weekend.” Kelly managed a smile and then got in the car and closed the door. Yvonne stood there, watching her uncertainly. Kelly waved as she drove off, blinking back the tears so she wouldn’t jeopardize anyone else on the road.
A couple miles out of town, she pulled off the road and stopped her car, breathing hard with the effort to control her emotions. She couldn’t show up at the ranch with her eyes red and puffy from crying, so she would take a few minutes now to calm down, holding her turbulent emotions inside until she was alone and didn’t have to face anyone else. She had become a pro at holding things in after Jamie died, and she called on that old skill now, refusing to let Charlene’s harsh words replay in her head. She couldn’t block it out forever, Kelly knew that, but right now she would do what had to be done until she could be alone to process it all.
Taking her phone from her pocketbook, she started a text to Will. It took her much longer to type than normal because her hands were still shaking, but she finally got it sent.
Hey, I had a really long day and I’m exhausted. Can I get a rain check on dinner?
She waited for his reply, jumping when the tone sounded a minute later.
Ok, but not sure I can go all day without seeing you. I could come over later and we could watch a movie or something.
I’m just going to go to bed early tonight. Sorry for the change in plans.
You ok?
Yeah. I guess this first week of work took more out of me than I thought. I’ll talk to you later.
Ok call me if you get a chance. I’m worried about you.
I’m ok. Have a good night.
And that was all Kelly could manage. She took several more deep breaths and then started her car and pulled back onto the road. She knew Will would be worried and confused by her sudden cancellation of their plans, but she simply couldn’t see him tonight and pretend things were normal. He would immediately know something was very wrong, and there was no way she could tell him what. She wouldn’t tell him.
The truth was, whether Charlene McCallum knew it or not, accusing Kelly of breaking up another family was a gut shot, and Kelly had no idea what she was going to do now. Nothing could have devastated her more than hearing that Will’s mother was actually on medication because of her. She’d only ever spent five minutes in the woman’s company, and that was months ago, and yet she’d still managed to upset Diana Connor so badly she needed to take pills.
Kelly longed to talk things over with Will, but there was no way she could tell him what Charlene had said. Will adored his mother, and finding out that she was taking antidepressants because of his and Kelly’s relationship would devastate him.
Even so, Kelly was pretty sure Will wouldn’t end things with her. And if Diana couldn’t accept that, Kelly would indeed be guilty of causing a rift in another fine Tallock County family, although that was the last thing she had ever intended to do.
Her conversations with James Sr. and Maggie swirled through her head. The incredible pain they’d suffered when Jamie left. The years they’d lost, the missed chance to repair their relationship with a son gone too soon. Amy’s suffering at being torn between her parents and her brother. Jamie’s pain when his parents cut off contact. James losing out on six years with his grandparents and aunt. Even though things were on the right track now, talking to Senior and Maggie had shown Kelly just how much pain and regret the Mathersons had endured, and she had wished so many times they could have had a redo to avoid the heartbreak.
Now Kelly had the opportunity to head off another family breakdown, and her resolve to do so grew as she drove the last few miles back to the ranch. She would not put Will in a position where he had to choose between her and his family. She could not allow him to become ostracized from the mother he adored and the brothers he worked with daily.
Short of ending things with Will, Kelly’s only option was to fix the situation, and it all hinged on Diana. It was devastating to know how strongly the woman felt about her presence in Will’s life. Her fears were so unfair and baseless, and likely fed by the clueless Charlene McCallum.
Kelly vowed to do everything she could to take away Diana’s despair and convince her that she had no intention of taking Will away from the Triple Creek. Although the idea terrified her, Kelly knew she had to meet with Will’s mother face to face. Maybe, just maybe, if she was open and honest and handled things right, she could alleviate Diana’s fears and eventually gain the woman’s blessing.
She had no choice but to talk to Diana, and she would do it, but Kelly shuddered at the thought of going to see her. If her animosity was anywhere near as strong as Charlene’s, it would not be an easy meeting.
Black Widow. What a terrible moniker.
Chapter 28
Kelly tucked James into bed, then sat by him and stroked his hair until he was asleep. Her love for her child was so deep, and her heart was heavy as she contemplated their future.
She kissed his smooth warm cheek, then slipped out to the backyard where she curled up in the hammock and quietly cried her eyes out. Hours ago she had been happier than she’d ever been. Now, thanks to Charlene McCallum, she knew that the mother Will adored hated her very existence, and the knowledge was incredibly painful.
So much depended on the meeting with Diana. If Kelly failed to find a way to convince her that she only wanted to make Will happy, walking away from the relationship was the only alternative. It was a last resort and one that Kelly could barely contemplate, but if Charlene was right and Diana was indeed dead set on having Lindsay McCallum as a daughter-in-law, there was a good chance that no matter what Kelly said, Diana wouldn’t accept her. And if the Connor matriarch was against her, Kelly could only imagine how fractured the family would end up. Everyone would have to choose a side, and that would devastate Will.
It had been hard enough knowing she had been the catalyst that caused Jamie’s family to disintegrate. Sure, Jamie had made the final choice of where he wanted to live, but without her in the picture, perhaps he might have given Texas another chance. While she would never know the answer to that question, one thing Kelly did know was that she simply couldn’t live with being the cause of family strife a second time, no matter how hard it would be to give up the man she loved.
But then there was her own son. The thought of hurting little James was excruciating, and Kelly couldn’t even imagine how he would react to losing the man he’d come to love so much. If it had to happen, though, it was better to do it soon, rather than waiting until James’ love for Will grew even stronger.
Oh, God, give me wisdom and strength, Kelly whispered, realizing that she might have to face a life without Will in it. Could she handle such emptiness?
Her phone dinged with a text from Will, which she could barely read it through her tears.
Hope you’re not in bed yet. I’m worried about you. Can you call me?
Kelly wiped her eyes and went inside to her bedroom. She quickly washed her face, brushed her teeth, and put on the sleep shorts and tank top she slept in. She got in bed so that her reply wouldn’t be a lie.
Just got in bed. Can we talk tomorrow?
I’d rather talk now. I need to know what’s wrong.
Kelly closed her eyes, fresh tears squeezing through her lashes. She should have known he wouldn’t accept her flimsy excuses.
I have some things to work through. Just need a little space right now. I’m sorry.
It was almost five minutes before he texted back.
I feel like Wild Red just kicked me in the chest. What changed, Kel?
Kelly continued crying. This was so hard. She was hurting him and it was the last thing she wanted to do. He didn’t deserve it. Her
only hope was that she could clear things up with his mom.
My feelings haven’t changed, Will. It’s just some other stuff I’m dealing with. You know how I am.
I hate when you do that. Don’t let your fears ruin what we have.
I’m trying not to. We’ll talk tomorrow night, ok?
Kelly was determined to talk to Diana the very next day, so she would be able to resolve things with Will quickly, one way or the other. He deserved that.
You don’t know how bad I want to come over there and talk you out of whatever funk you’re in, Kelly.
I’m sorry.
Texting sucks. I want to see you.
Tomorrow, I promise. Good night, Will. I missed you today.
Again, several minutes passed before he responded.
Night. Miss you too.
It was hours before Kelly finally dozed off into a fitful sleep.
After breakfast the next morning, Kelly asked Maggie if she could watch James for an hour or so while she ran an errand, the “errand” being her attempt to talk to Will’s mother.
Maggie was only too happy to oblige, so Kelly set off for the Triple Creek, scared to death but hoping Diana Connor was home and would agree to talk to her. Will’s truck was already parked at the Wild Rose stable, so she knew she didn’t have to worry about running into him at his mother’s house.
It was hard to drive past the stable without stopping in to see him and Kelly found herself fighting tears yet again. She wanted nothing more than to spend a minute or two or an hour in Will’s arms, listening to him assure her that it would be okay and they could work through anything. Twenty-four hours ago, Kelly would have wholeheartedly believed that assurance to be true. But Charlene McCallum had managed to find the one thing they couldn’t work through, because Kelly could not allow Will to choose her over his family.
She drove onto the Triple Creek and pulled up to the big ranch house. Heart pounding, she walked to the kitchen door where they had entered that long ago day when Will had introduced her to Diana. Remembering the coolness in Diana’s eyes that day didn’t exactly bolster Kelly’s confidence at the moment, and she took a few moments to breathe deeply and gather her courage before pushing the button on the doorbell. After a short wait, the door opened and Diana stood there, her perfectly arched eyebrows raised in surprise.
“Kelly Matherson. What can I help you with?” she asked coolly.
“Good morning, Mrs. Connor. I’m sorry for coming by without calling first, but I was hoping we could talk for a few minutes.”
Diana checked her watch, frowning. “I have to leave soon,” she said frostily, “but I suppose I can spare a few minutes.”
She stepped back and motioned for Kelly to enter, then led her into the living room. Kelly realized that Diana was indeed thinner and somewhat more haggard than she remembered, and guilt settled like a rock in her stomach.
“Have a seat,” Diana offered reluctantly. “What is it you wish to talk about?”
Kelly sat on the edge of the sofa while Diana sank into a chair across from her, crossing her arms impatiently.
Getting right to the point, Kelly said, “I spoke to Charlene McCallum yesterday at the school.”
“Yes, I’m aware of that.” Diana had the grace to look just the tiniest bit apologetic. “Charlene can be blunt but she means well.”
“Maybe. She said you think I’m planning to convince Will to move back to Virginia with me.” Kelly’s throat felt thick with tears and she swallowed hard. “That was upsetting to me, as I never intended to give anyone that impression and I hate that you’ve been so worried about it.”
Diana barked out a laugh. “Well honestly, Kelly, what am I supposed to think? That’s exactly what you did with Jamie. Why would Will be any different?”
Kelly shook her head. “Leaving Texas was Jamie’s choice, Mrs. Connor. I would have gladly stayed here, and he knew that. But he had his heart set on attending grad school in Virginia.”
“And you expect me to believe you had nothing to do with him choosing that school?”
“I’m sure he took my being from Virginia into account when he narrowed down his list of schools, but what I’m trying to say is that I would have happily followed him wherever he wanted to go. The fact is, Jamie didn’t want to stay in here, Mrs. Connor, and whether he married me or someone else, he was going to leave Tallock County.”
“I simply cannot believe that’s true.”
Kelly bit her lip, clasping her hands to hide their trembling. “I wouldn’t lie to you, Mrs. Connor,” she said softly.
Diana studied her for a long moment, then sighed. “Kelly, I don’t have anything against you personally, as I’m sure you’re a nice enough girl. But honey, you aren’t the one for my Will. You know nothing about life on a ranch. You don’t know our family. You don’t know Texas. You’re considerably older than him, and you already have a son. Do you have any idea how that complicates things? Will isn’t ready for that. The last thing I want is for my son to impulsively fall for someone who isn’t compatible with his way of life and won’t be able to make him happy long term. I can’t stand for him to hurt, it tears me apart, and unfortunately I can tell from the way he talks about you that you have the power to hurt him very badly. It nearly killed me when he went to visit you in Virginia, because I wasn’t sure he’d come home. In my opinion, Kelly, it would be vastly better if you both realized that whatever it is you have going isn’t right for either of you and end it now, before the fallout is any worse.”
“I’m so sorry you feel that way,” Kelly said, eyes burning with tears she refused to let fall. “I care so deeply for Will, and I know how important you and his family are to him. The last thing I want to do is come between you. I just wish I could convince you that I would never ask Will to leave here. The ranches and the horses and the people—they’re so much a part of him and who he is. And I love who he is, Mrs. Connor. I don’t want to change anything about him, and certainly not his way of life.”
“You love him?” Diana scoffed. “You barely know him, Kelly. On the other hand, Lindsay has known him since day one. They’ve grown up together and have always been close. They’re both Tallock County kids, born and raised, and they’re perfect for each other. There’s no doubt in my mind that if you hadn’t entered the picture, the two of them would be dating right now. And trust me, that would be the very best outcome for my son.”
Diana stood up, checking her watch again. “I have to be going, and this conversation is rather pointless. I don’t think there’s anything you can say to lessen my fears where you and Will are concerned. It’s easy to make promises about settling down here in Texas, but with your track record, I’m not buying it. I only wish I knew what it was about you that made him fall so hard. It caught me completely off guard.”
“Maybe if you and I got to know each other a little better you’d realize that I’m serious about staying,” Kelly suggested. “James and I already love it here.”
“I’m sorry to be harsh, Kelly, but when I look at you, all I see is an interloper. As I said, I’m sure you’re a nice girl, but you aren’t right for my son and there is no reason for us to spend time together and pretend. Will has been after me to schedule a family dinner so he can introduce you to everyone, but that’s not going to happen either. Frankly, we all think you’re being selfish, coming between Will and his family like you are. We’re completely devastated.”
“I’ve never even met the rest of the family,” Kelly said, her throat aching from the strain of holding back tears. ”How can they form an opinion of me if we haven’t even met?”
Diana waved a hand. “Irrelevant. Trust me, you will cause a rift. They all adore Lindsay. They’ll see you as an interloper, just as I do.”
Kelly stood, more than a little surprised her legs were able to support her. This had been her worst fear in coming over here, and she felt numb and hollowed out.
“The last thing I want to do is cause trouble in your family, Mrs
. Connor,” she said wearily. “I have no desire to play any part in something so painful. Going through it once was more than enough.”
“And yet here you are, doing that very thing,” Diana said harshly.
It was all Kelly could do to not sink to the floor and curl up into a ball of hurt. Diana obviously wasn’t going to budge, just as James Senior had refused to budge all those years ago. The next and final move was up to Kelly, and as painful as it was, if her goal was to keep Will’s family intact, that move was pretty obvious.
“I’ll talk to Will and let him know we’re finished. I just need a little time to figure out how to do that.”
Diana’s jaw dropped and she narrowed her eyes as she stared at Kelly.
“Are you serious? You’d do that?”
“I told you,” Kelly said quietly, “I love him. That means I want him to be as happy as he can be for the rest of his life, not just in the short term. He can find another girlfriend, but he only has one family.”
“Well you mustn’t bring me into it,” Diana warned. “If you tell him we had this talk, he’ll be furious with me.”
“I won’t tell him we spoke. Having him furious at you would kind of defeat my goal of trying to keep your family intact.”
“Oh, yes, well, thank you, I suppose. I, um, need to go. I’m sorry for any pain this causes you, but it really is best to end things now. It’ll be easier for both of you to bounce back.”
“Good bye, Mrs. Connor.”
Kelly walked back through the kitchen, anxious to leave so she wouldn’t have to keep holding back the tears. As she opened the door, Diana called her name. She turned and waited for the other woman to approach.
“Why you, Kelly?” she asked curiously. “Why has Will fallen for you? Quite frankly, it’s baffling to me. That boy has had girls after him all his life. All kinds--aggressive, meek, beautiful, plain, cute and bubbly, quiet and serious—you name it. But none of them have had a lasting effect on him. I’m really am curious to know what it is about you that’s different.”
