"Oh?" Slowly, hope filtered through, encouraged by the gleam in his eyes.
"There will be times when you won't feel it at all, times when it will come back." Serious again, his look warned her he wasn't perfect, that in spite of all his good intentions he might falter.
"Is there anything you can prescribe that would help?" The words came out with the greatest difficulty.
"Marriage," he said thoughtfully, "marriage..to me."
"Oh Karl!" Laughter and tears competed as she wrapped her arms around him and laid her head against his chest. It felt so good just to be close to him again.
He lifted her face and stared into her eyes, searching for proof of her love. "Will you have me, Jessica?"
For answer she pulled his head down and pressed her lips to his. Karl reached behind him and switched the overhead lamp off. The stream of light from his office was enough to see by.
"Sweetheart, we have to talk," he said quite a while later.
Sitting in the patient's chair he pulled her onto his lap and stole another kiss. "I'm still afraid I may hurt you sometimes."
"I may hurt you too," retorted Jessica. "There aren't rules we can follow for a perfect marriage. We have to make up our own as we go along. But love and communication help."
"I talked to a friend in Mexico this past week. I told him about the past, how I don't want to hurt you but I can't live without you any longer. Phil is a psychologist and when he heard what I had to say he said the conscious will is a formidable ally. I have to remember that only I'm in control of my life. Not my father, not the past." He devoured Jessica's face, snatched a kiss and said, "Will you keep me in line, Jessica?"
"We'll keep each other in line," she promised lightly, unwilling for him to see how deeply moved she was that he had shown someone else his old wounds. The fact he'd done it all for her made her feel very humble.
"My father..."
"Your father was one man." said Jessica firmly. "You're another. My father's always been boss in our house. I know I can't be like my mother."
"You mean it won't be `Yes dear and No dear?'" Karl mocked wickedly. "And I just painted an obedient, submissive wife on my canvas."
"Well, it's a good thing you can paint right over that particular picture," Jessica retorted calmly.
"What should I paint instead?" Karl teased.
"Paint love, and trust, and promises meant to be kept," Jessica said tenderly framing his face in her small hands. "The rest we'll paint as we live it....one day at a time."
Three weeks later, Karl and Jessica sat on the couch in his family room. She had spent a week with her family in Oakland finalizing everything for the wedding. Karl had driven up Friday for the weekend. It had been his second visit to her parent's home. A big wedding was planned in two weeks’ time. Neither Karl nor Jessica could wait any longer. Fortunately with everyone pitching in to help, they didn't have to.
Jessica thought of the noisy laughter, the comments that were typical when her family got together. All weekend there had been someone or other around and Karl had been very quiet on the way back.
"Did you find my family overpowering?" Maybe he was having qualms about the big wedding.
"Not really," Karl replied. "I was envying you all the friendship and the laughter, glad I'd be part of your family soon."
"Then why are you so quiet?" Jessica demanded.
"I'm just very nervous." Karl confessed.
"Nervous? Why?" asked Jessica surprised. "They all liked you."
"I thought your parents might think I was too quiet and stuffy for their daughter."
From time to time she caught a glimpse of the cracks of doubt. They were getting smaller though. Jessica knew it would take time to convince Karl completely. She was content to let life and time paint that corner of their canvas.
She flung her arms around his neck. "As far as I'm concerned you're perfect."
Tenderness softened Karl's face and she saw the love shimmer in his eyes. "I don't know what I've ever done to deserve someone as nice as you."
"Hush!" Jessica ordered, sealing his lips with hers. Karl kissed her long and satisfyingly before raising his head to ask. "Did your mother ask if you were sure you wanted to go through with this?"
"No," Jessica nestled against her fiancé’s strong shoulder. "She said there was a certain something about a woman in love. I have it and she knows I'll be happy. She did ask if I'd told you I can't cook anything except eggs and chili."
"What did you say?"
"I said you could cook and I'd learn." Her laughter was muffled in the soft fabric of his shirt.
"Did you tell her you've decided to quit work?"
"Yes. I told her I've finally found the two things I really want to work at. The first is being a good wife and mother." Jessica watched Karl's face suffuse with tenderness. "The second is working for animal rights. They need champions. Humane shelters need more publicity as well. There are so many people who can benefit from having a pet. Children, older people, those who are lonely. Look at the difference Scrap has made in Mr. Lucas' life." Her face was lit from within as she talked of her dreams.
"You will save enough time for me, won't you?" Karl asked.
"Just like you will," Jessica's reply surprised him. "Mrs. Lucas and I have decided you're not going to work late anymore during the week and not at all at the weekends. She's letting all your patients know your new hours. If taking time for yourself worries you, she suggested getting a partner. She told me there's someone you helped through dental school who is very keen on working with you."
She was relieved when he smiled. "I thought you were against dominance," Karl teased.
"I only said I was against being dominated," his wife-to-be said sweetly, tongue in cheek. "I never said I was against dominating."
"I'll have to get Reverend Barnes to include something about that in the vows then. Jessica Sylvia Woods," Karl intoned in fair imitation of the minister he'd met yesterday. "Do you promise only to love and not to dominate this man?"
"I do," she said solemnly, her eyes alight with mischief. "Except when it's for his own good like working less, taking more time for himself and his family."
Karl groaned. "It would be just like you to say something like that at the wedding, in front of all the guests. I don't know why people call marriage, `settling down'. There's nothing about you that gives me the feeling that we won't be settling down any in the years to come."
Jessica smiled contentedly. "I don't think so either but you're going to love every minute of it."
Karl claimed one more kiss. "I believe that. Are you hungry? I'll fix us something to eat."
"Mom packed some cold turkey for us," Jessica told him. "Do you want me to make a salad to go with it?"
"I'll do it." He cupped her face in his large hands. "Jessica are you really happy?"
She sensed the underlying concern in his voice, the sliver of the old fear. She smiled through the sudden moisture in her eyes. "Happier than I ever thought it was possible to be," she said seriously.
He hugged her before going into the kitchen and taking out the things for the salad from the refrigerator.
She watched him quietly for a while, reveling in the sight of him, painting her canvas with pictures of him holding a baby, while a toddler scribbled with crayons and talked to a dog sitting nearby. She'd never realized when she'd volunteered for Project Valentine what a harvest of love she would reap for herself.
Going to Karl, Jessica wrapped her arms around him as he stood at the kitchen counter.
"I love you, Karl."
He turned to her, a glint in his eye, just as the doorbell rang. A huge frown creased his forehead. "I hope that's not Andy again. You are not to start discussing the wedding with her," he ordered. "The last time you did that they were here till eleven and then you left when they did. Give Andy your mother's number and let her talk to your family all she wants. They'll all like that. I'll even pay her phone bill."
"That's a
generous offer," Jessica teased.
"It's prompted by need, not generosity," Karl retorted. "My sister chooses the most awful times to drop in and she always wants to talk for ages."
"She does?" Jessica said mock innocently, remembering the session Andy had interrupted the last time. The memory made Jessica's smile even wider. "Let me get the door."
"If that's her," Karl called after Jessica on a note of inspiration, "Say I've got the mumps and will be in quarantine till the day she sees me in church."
Jessica laughed. The ruby on her left hand winked back happily. She knew who it was at the door. Opening it she held a finger to her lips. The caller nodded understandingly and handed something over. Jessica blew him a kiss and shut the door.
"Who was it?" Karl asked when she went back into the kitchen a few minutes later.
"It's my engagement present for you."
"Engagement present?"
"Yes. You gave me this beautiful ring and so many other things. I wanted to get you something."
"You've already given me the most important thing in the world."
"Like what?" Jessica demanded.
"Love. Happiness. Faith in myself."
"I was motivated by pure self-interest." Jessica's grin didn't fool Karl. "This is something just for you."
"Where is it?" Karl looked at her empty hands.
"You have to close your eyes and come with me."
Smiling Karl put his hand in hers, did as he was asked. Jessica led him into the hall and plopped a kiss on his warm lips.
"Open!" she commanded.
The dog sat patiently by the stairs, it's leash looped through the rails. It looked at him and then away. Since Arthur, Karl had learned quite a bit about dogs. This one was a cross between a Labrador and a questionable breed. The large face looked very odd on the thin body. And very lovable.
He went down on his haunches and held his hand out, “Hello there,” he said gently.
The dog turned at his tone then deigned to sniff his hand. A minute later and he licked it.
Karl got to his feet and turned to Jessica and opened his arms to her.
"Do you like your present?" she asked.
He crushed her to his heart and kissed her. "Very much."
"Maggie likes you too," she muttered into his chest. "She's just been ill treated by her past owners. When the neighbors reported it to the humane society they went and picked her up. She was a mass of cuts and bruises. Time and love are all she needs."
Over Jessica's head, Karl smiled at the dog with the mournful, treacley eyes. With Jessica beside him, he knew he'd always have plenty of time and love to spare.
EPILOGUE
Jessica looked out the window of the study. Adam, their four year old, was playing with one of the puppies from the litter of six they had rescued from the animal shelter. Already the puppy showed a marked preference for him. Joy, their daughter, was with Karl surrounded by the other five pups who were tumbling all over her. The six year old shared her cousin Molly’s love for dogs.
Jessica looked down at the letter on her screen. It was a plea on their blog from the Wagner Rescue Center for homes for the puppies and their other dogs. The Wagner Rescue Center. She was so lucky to have this job…the best one in the world.
The blog had garnered attention from all over the country and they had people drive over from other states to pick up an animal they had fallen in love with on the Internet. Rikki, the cyber genius, had shown her how to embed short movies of the dogs in the blog and that had received the most response. A trucker had stopped by to take an Afghan hound to a family in New York and a pilot with a private plane had taken a pair of schnauzers to Palm Springs. Jessica preferred to keep the oldest dogs but there was no fiercer champion for the others.
A year after they’d been married, Karl had bought this land outside the city. It had been farm land and was easily converted to a dog rescue home. They’d built a house on the acreage and she and Karl had planted the fruit trees that made up their small orchard on one side. Further back were the dog runs that let out onto grassy patches. A pair of veterans lived in one of the cottages beside the runs and helped with the dogs. Garcia, had moved into another cottage after he’d retired and he picked up the strays in his truck, making frequent trips to the humane shelters to rescue the dogs on death row.
Molly, at seventeen, was talking of being a vet. Rikki, at nine, was a cyber-genius and her assistant with the blog. Karl’s practice was flourishing and he had a partner to help him and share the work.
Karl came in through the back door with both the kids who raced upstairs so quickly that Jessica thought they might be smuggling one of the puppies into the house.
“Children inside, dogs and puppies in their kennels outside except for Maggie and Jack,” Jessica called after them, knowing it was a losing battle.
Maggie, the dog she’d gotten Karl for an engagement present rarely left his side when he was home. Jack the Scottish terrier, was Joy’s dog.
Molly was coming over to baby sit her cousins later and Jessica and Karl were having a date night. She always brought Arthur’s successor, a Great Dane she’d named Gwen with her, so Adam and Joy got to spend time with her and Maggie before their bedtime.
Karl stopped behind Jessica’s chair. Putting a hand on the painful spot between her shoulder blades he rubbed it.
“Are they taking that puppy upstairs?” asked Jessica in a mock stern voice.
“He’s cold and he’s lonely. Please, Daddy please.” Karl’s tone mimicked Adam perfectly.
“I can’t do a thing when he looks at me the way you looked at me in the mall. And then Joy adds, Adam needs a puppy. Then he will sleep in his own room all night and not come into yours. Right Adam?”
Jessica and Karl both laughed. Joy the politician always found a way to justify everything.
“Oh well,” said Jessica, “What does it matter if there’s another dog in the house? I better get the training pads.”
Karl put his hand out to stop his wife as she stood up. “The kids have them and the old newspaper and an old blanket.”
“Looks like they planned this all along.” Jessica knew both kids had inherited her determination gene.
“Just like someone else I know.”
Karl pulled her close and kissed her. After a while Jessica forgot everything but the way his mouth felt against hers.
“Still love me?” Karl asked, a little later.
“For now and always,” said Jessica, pulling his head down to hers.
The End
The Homespun Series
Book 1 – Faith Hope and Love
Book 2 – Project Valentine
Book 3 – The Long Road Home
Book 4 – The Old Fashioned Way
Book 5 – Mr. Wrong
Book 6 – Daddy’s Little Girl
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About the Author
Geeta Kakade was born in India where she attended British schools and colleges. An Army brat she has nomadic dust on her feet and loves to travel. The loneliness of the many moves as a child was dispelled by one constant; books. She has worn many hats, teacher, wife, mother, aunt, friend, reader, writer, volunteer. One of her favorites now is grandmother.
She came to America when she married her husband, raised her family and learned to bake bread. She's lived in Michigan and California and has written seriously for the last 34 years. Her first writing break came when she was discovered in RWA's national writing competition by a very intelligent editor. Geeta’s Homespun series was previously published in print by Silhouette Her first six books have been translated into Italian, French, Japanese, German, Spanish and Hungarian and she has been on the Waldenbooks and BDalton bestseller lists.
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Project Valentine (A Homespun Romance) Page 16
