by Mj Fields
Book two in the Norfolk series
Irons 2
By
MJ Fields
Published by
MJ Fields
Copyright 2014 MJ Fields
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Editing, proofreading, and formatting done by Little House of Edits.
Songs mentioned throughout have been given credit and are the work of the credited artist, musician, or song writer.
This book is a work of fiction. The names, characters, places, and incidents are a product of the writer’s imagination or have been used fictitiously and are not to be constructed as real. Any resemblance to person, living or dead, actual events, locale or organization is entirely coincidental.
Table of Content
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Prologue
Jax
We were flying a lot, which meant something was brewing.
Isis, a terrorist group led by an Iraqi by the name Abu Bakra al-Baghdadi, was growing and becoming a bigger threat. The group had been connected to al-Qaeda until they split in February of 2014 because Isis, was out of control, too violent for al-Qaeda. They were an unleashed threat to humanity and our country. While at work I kept my head in the game. It wasn’t easy.
When you have been raised with the knowledge and had complete understanding that two lives are more important that one, that there is a bigger picture, one that may not have the outcome you desire at that given moment, that if forced to chose to save the life of a friend or that of a squadron, you chose the squadron. When you are raised like I was, feelings are not entered into the equation.
Feelings hinder strength.
The nation’s security and my brothers in arms were always number one in my life. It was now a constant, conscious battle inside of me to keep my feelings where they belonged, and it was not up in the sky with me.
Feelings caused risk for error.
As a child the sound of thunder always frightened me. I would hide under the covers, cry, and shake during storms. My mother explained that it was childish and if I wanted to be a man, a soldier, I needed to stop allowing myself to succumb to childish fears. I would stand clenching my jaw at the foot of the bed forcing myself to strain the muscles near my ears to cause a sound that mimicked a waterfall after a spring thaw, to wash over them, drowning out the sound of the thunder, all while staring into her gray eyes.
“That’s a good soldier.” She would pat my shoulder before turning around, walking towards the door, turning out the light, and leaving me alone in my room.
My parents were becoming a distraction as well. My mother seemed to be calling often, and my father’s presence on base was becoming more and more frequent. I still didn’t believe they knew about the firefly, but one could never tell.
Mimi was becoming increasingly needy. She called nearly every day and she texted several times a week. Always wondering when the next fundraising event was, or asking if I needed to talk about anything. I knew she was talking about the firefly and no I didn’t want to discuss the fact that I had a child out there who I couldn’t know. I had never even thought I wanted children. There were plenty out there who had been tossed aside, discarded, or living in hellish conditions. Someone like me couldn’t give them what they needed.
It’s not that I didn’t like children; I had little experience with them. When deployed, I saw children all over the world. Hungry children, living under hell like circumstances. They were not safe, nurtured, or supplied with even the basic necessities. I won’t say that I allowed it to consume me. That would have caused me to feel.
Feelings and emotions are weakness.
I couldn’t fuck up. I was not only born and raised for this role, I chose this life.
That was before I allowed myself to feel, before Frankie made me feel. I loved how she made me feel.
I will not lie or misguide, it worried me. She had become so fucking important to me, that I seemed to need her just as much, if not more than she needed me.
I was struggling trying to find a balance between life and love. My head was full and spinning most of the time that I was not at work. I missed the young woman I loved and I yearned to know the girl who I should love, protect, and provide for.
Firefly.
Another worry was how much weight could my angel’s wings carry? She had been consumed by darkness for too long, and I was partially to blame. I wanted nothing more than for her to shine in the light of day. Frankie, my angel, needed to be cherished, loved, and taken care of. I would give that to her, I would give her anything she fucking wanted just to hear her say it again. I had already taken measure to ensure she was safe, and mine, forever.
The firefly needed to be kept safe in the darkness where she could shine just as brightly. I could never expose that I knew about her. I will not say that someday, someday soon, I want to see with my own eyes that she, my flesh and blood, was in fact real and not an illusion, a trick, a part of the plans already in place for who this soldier, who I, Jaxson Irons was too become.
Chapter 1
Frankie
Day 14
Jaxson and I exchanged texts several times a day for the first five days I had been home. It only made being away from him even more painful. I didn’t tell him that. I wouldn’t. His heart belonged to me just as much as mine belonged to him. There would never be a day it didn’t. Ever.
“Think of it like summer camp Francesca,” he said quietly the last time we spoke.
“Is that what you’re doing?”
“I’m less about the imagined and more about reality.” There was a soft hint of amusement in his voice.
“Meaning?”
“Nothing. I miss you.”
“I miss you too. Have I told you I love you yet?” I stood up off my bed and walked over to close my door.
“A few times, but say it again.”
“I love you.” I whispered.
“I wish you knew what that meant to me.”
“I love you.” I couldn’t help but smile.
He sighed, “I love you.”
“Are you tired Jax?” I asked as I laid back on my bed and grabbed the picture frame that held a photo of Will, Jax, and I from their graduation from Annapolis.
“Yes. We’ve been busy.”
I knew what that meant. Something was brewing. “Can you tell me anything?”
“That I miss you.” He yawned.
God, his tired voice was so sexy but also made me nervous. “Jax are you flying tomorrow?”
�
�I am.”
“You should sleep.” I looked at the photo and then held it tight against my chest.
“Yeah.”
“Jax.”
“Frankie.”
“Let’s not talk every day.” I sighed and rolled to my side, placing the frame back on my nightstand.
“Is that what you want?”
“You said summer camp. We weren’t allowed to call home. They knew it would make us miss it that much more.”
“Annapolis, the same thing.”
“So the theory must be true.”
Neither of us said a word for a while and it was Jax who broke the silence.
“Frankie, this has to stop. You should be here, right now.”
“No place I’d rather be.”
“I’m going to call you exactly one week from today. I need to focus on getting this sorted out.” I heard him moving.
“You need to get some sleep if you’re flying tomorrow.”
“I need to--.”
“Sleep Jaxson. I don’t want you up there flying around knowing you’re tired. I can’t lose you--.”
“You won’t.”
“I love you.”
Before hanging up I said I love you over and over again knowing I wouldn’t be talking to him for a while. Knowing how much he needed to hear it.
~
When the week was almost over I was admittedly in a darker place. I worried about him. I watched the news, I slept a lot, and I didn’t eat. It was hell, my hell, my private hell.
I worried about the black sedan and whoever it was that jumped me. I worried about Jax, Shadows, and Titan . Were they safe?
I couldn’t talk to my parents about Jaxson even if I wanted to. I mean what would I say? They were going to be upset with Jax and me for keeping us a secret. Understandably so.
I couldn’t talk to my friends. I’m sure Mary, and Renee were over the drama I brought into their lives. I missed them but I wouldn’t drag them in any further. I had no friends from high school. Hell I lost touch with all of them when I lost Will and started dating Joel.
I couldn’t blame them. I mean I would stay the night with them and either push to go to a party or sneak out and go myself. I pushed them away on purpose. I didn’t want anyone close to me and I certainly didn’t want anyone who tired to talk about it and make me feel the pain. Not in the emotional sense of the word.
Joel wasn’t warm and fuzzy. Hell he got pissed when I seemed upset. He seemed to take it personally. He even mentioned that I was lucky he was still sticking by me when everyone else had been smart enough to walk away from the shit storm I had become.
He had graduated college and was home for the summer and he had called a couple times, I hadn’t bothered to answer. I didn’t like how I felt when Jax attended campaign functions with Mimi, and I knew that was a front.
Our start was rocky at best. Our present and future would not be. I have loved Jaxson Irons for so long and now that I have been loved by him, there was no turning back.
I reached under my bed and grabbed my scrapbook. Flat Jax, I laughed to myself as I opened the book and flipped through it. I couldn’t wait to add more to it. I couldn’t wait to be able to take pictures of him. I loved the way he looked sleeping his eyelashes fanned across his face, his broad muscular chest rising and falling slowly, his hair cut short on the sides and back but a little longer on the top a bit messy from my hands fisting it in the thralls of passion, his full lips parted slightly, and his arm resting on his forehead.
Jax’s scent was intoxicating. He didn’t wear cologne. His body wash had a light musky smell and so did his shampoo. His natural scent was woodsy. Strange, I know but that’s what it was.
I laid back, held the book tight against my chest, closed my eyes, and thought about his touch. It was intense. His kisses neared severe, his penetration so damn powerful, and possessive. His eyes were expressive, a true window to his soul when he allowed it. I didn’t like to think about how he became so incredibly gifted in bed but there was nothing like the way he handled me. The way his hands, his mouth, his cock moved with skill. His own pleasure, need, and release never put before mine. When he did finally cave and take what he wanted, it was unbelievably raw. His words, his restraint, his reserve was shattered and I would not want it any other way.
I swear I could get off at just the thought of him. My insides tensed and my eyes teared up. I needed him so badly. It should scare the hell out of me but didn’t. I grabbed my phone and started to message him, but I couldn’t.
One soft knock on the door before it opened, “You have company.”
I got up and shoved the book under my pillow and watched my mother look curiously at the book she had seen before. She knew I had a crush on Jax for seven years now, hell anyone who saw how I acted around him would have known.
When Joel walked in, I immediately felt tense.
Mom smiled as she left the room.
“What are you doing here?” I whispered so she wouldn’t hear.
“I’ve tried to call, sent a couple texts.” He looked me up and down. “You look good Francesca.”
“Ya, you too,” I mumbled as I grabbed my Annapolis Sweatshirt off the end of the bed before he sat on it.
I watched as he stared at my chest. Oh for the love of god, I was sticking out from thoughts of Jax and Joel probably thought that it was his doing. I pulled the sweatshirt over my head and pulled my hair out from the collar.
His eyes still focused on my chest but now they were narrowed. “He’s bad for you.”
“He’s bad for me?” I huffed.
“Yes. He. Is. Bad. For. You.”
“Joel, I’m not an idiot. Don’t talk to me like I am.”
“Look--.”
“No you look. I’m here. He’s—wherever he is. This isn’t any of your business.”
“You really are fucked up you know,” he raised his voice.
“Joel, shh.” I looked at the door.
He laughed, “They don’t know do they?”
“There is nothing--.”
“Bullshit.”
“Either quiet down or --.”
“Let’s take a walk.”
“I’m not going anywhere with--.”
“I spoke to Mimi.”
My jaw must have hit the floor.
“Do I have your attention now?” He asked as he walked out the door.
I walked past my parents who were sitting in the living room. Dad was reading and mom was watching TV.
They didn’t even react to Joel walking out the door or me following him, even though it wasn’t something that had happened in a while, they were pretty much immune to the way we fought.
He was standing at the edge of the woods when I caught up to him.
“Why did you talk to her?” I all but spat at him.
“Ran into her at a club. She was staring at me like she knew me. Took me a few minutes to figure out who she was. When I did, I may have laughed and turned away.”
He ran his hands through this wavy brown hair and then finally looked up at me.
“She’s a bitch Francesca,” he turned and started walking slowly towards the path in the woods and I followed. “She came up and asked me to dance. I told her no. She asked if I was still in love with the little Hispanic girl.”
“She said Hispanic girl?” I laughed.
“Nope, a nicer interpretation.” He stopped and looked at me. “The girl in the news, the one on Irons’ arm at those events, isn’t the girl I met Francesca. She’s a nasty bitch.”
I didn’t know what to say but I didn’t want him to know it bothered me. “So.”
“So?”
“Why are you telling me this?”
He walked over and sat on a fallen tree and patted the spot next to him. “I looked into her.”
“Why would you do that?” I stood in the same spot with my arms crossed.
“I don’t know? Fuck, Francesca we were together for a long god dammed time you know. I do
give a shit what happens to you. I don’t want to see you beat up again or--.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. This was the same guy who loved the whip as much as I did at one point.
“That’s another thing Francesca. I didn’t start that shit you did. You pushed every fucking button--.”
“Fine.”
“Fine is all I get. Do you know that I can’t have sex with a girl without wanting it the way you and I had it. I’m fucking ruined. You ruined me and then bolted.”
“You admittedly cheated on me Joel--.”
He jumped up, “I fucking needed someone to want me Frankie. Fuck, you didn’t want shit except--. Never mind. She’s bad news okay. I’m fucking out of here.”
“Joel wait,” I grabbed his elbow. When he turned and looked at me his eyes were wild.
“No, fuck that.” He looked at me like I had grown horns. “You looked at me different once Frankie. You cared about what I felt. You were sweet and then--.”
“Will died.”
“I tried so damn hard to be what you needed then. You just made it impossible. Fuck, don’t you remember us? Damn Frankie,” his eyes began to tear up.
“I’m sorry.” Was all I could think to say.
“Tell me you remember.”
I slowly shook my head back and fourth.
“Well I do, damn it.”
“Joel, nothing is going to change the past. I was cold, pushed you away and I am not trying to hurt you when I say this, but you were not what I needed then.”
“Irons.”
“Will.” My voice cracked, “I wanted Will. I hated everyone and everything and you pushed so fucking hard.” He tried to interrupt. “I know you didn’t know how to deal with it either. I was a mess. Hell, I still am. I’m sorry. I’m sorry okay?”
He grabbed me and hugged me tight. The scent of his cologne reminded me of death, of Will’s death. A scent that once was so sexy to me now disgusted me. It wasn’t Joel’s fault. It was an association. I knew this. To some people it was the smell of orchids, for me it was Joel’s cologne.
I stepped back and his eyes were closed.
