by Mj Fields
The same feeling I woke with rushed over me. I grabbed my phone and called Jax. It went to voicemail immediately, “Hey, I’m kind of freaking out here Jax. I hope everyone is all right but I need to know you are okay. I know that part of this married to the Navy thing is expected but, well,” tears started to fall, “Jax, I love you and I need to know you’re okay.”
I looked through drawers to find the keys to the X5, I couldn’t sit and wait. I was already panicking. I tried to shove down the feeling I woke to but I couldn’t. Please God, please. I prayed in my head. The prayer was for Jax to be all right, but in asking for that I felt I was asking that someone else be in harms way.
I felt my stomach lurch and my phone chime at the same time. I swallowed down the bile that had rose and grabbed my phone. It was my mother with a ‘Call me’ message.
I looked everywhere for the keys and then crumbled to the floor, “God please!”
I was shaking and crying at the same time I was trying to muster up enough strength to get up and go to base. I still had my ID, I hoped they hadn’t deactivated it.
I closed my eyes and looked towards the door, the keys hung on a message board right where they should be. Jax was calm, organized, and so strong. I was not, never had been. Hell I couldn’t even cook for my husband. He deserved better than me. I took in a deep breath and tried to force myself to breath, to get my shit together, so that I could go and find my husband. So that I could see his smile, touch his face, hold his hand. And if he was in the accident, I would do everything I could to help him recover. Because Jax could not be gone. God could not be that cruel.
I threw on a pair of flip flogs and grabbed my purse and the keys. I opened the door and a man was standing there. Quickly I slammed the door, panic over took me again. Get your shit together.
I leaned my head against the door, “Who are you and what do you want?”
“Miss Cruz, I need you to come with me.”
“Who are you?” I repeated.
“My name is Russ and I am here to watch over you.”
“I want you to leave.”
“I’m not here to hurt you--.”
“Leave now or I will call the police.”
“Miss Cruz--.”
Fuck that, Jax needed me, “Get away from my door or I will shoot your ass dead and drag you inside.”
“Johnny sent me.”
“I don’t care if the Pope sent you. I am coming out, you stay the hell away from me, do you understand?”
“I will step back, but I can take you where ever you need to go.”
My phone rang and I looked at the ID, “That is Johnny, answer please.”
I answered the phone at the same time I opened the door.
“Frankie, you need to calm down. I am here with your folks and Russ needs to get you home until we know what is going on.”
I didn’t answer him. I looked at Russ, “Back the fuck off now.”
He looked shocked and I stormed past him, got in the SUV, started it up and began to back out.
“Frankie,” beamed over the speaker system and I jumped. “You need to let him help you.”
“Was Jax in the accident Johnny?”
“Frankie--.”
“Answer me! Answer me now damn it!”
Horns blew from behind me. I was holding up traffic on Atlantic ave. I threw the SUV in drive and peeled out. In the rearview I saw Russ pulling out and following me.
“Where are you going?” Johnny asked calmly.
“To base!” I snapped at him.
“You need to stop. You need to back off Frankie. We need to know what we are dealing with.”
“If I knew how to hang up on you I would. Don’t tell me what I need to do Johnny. What I need to do is be with my husband, I need to be with Jax.”
“Frankie,” it was my mom.
“Mom!” I cried, “Was it Jax? Tell me damn it.”
“We’re still waiting to find out but Frankie I am packing a bag and heading over now. Dad and I will be there soon okay? Can you wait for us?”
“No, no I can’t. Were Shadows and Titan both in the air today? Did Johnny try to call them?”
“He left messages for all three. He has someone on base that he is waiting to hear from. Francesca, go home and wait, it may not be Jax.”
“It is, I know it is! Will, woke me up Momma, I had a dream about Will. He was warning me. I know it’s Jax.”
I hear a muffled sob and then Johnny was on the phone, “Francesca--.”
I saw a red button on the dash and I pushed it, it ended the call.
I was in line to get on base when I saw Shadows’ vehicle pull out. I held the horn down to get his attention. He looked over and scowled. He waved for me to follow him. I backed up and a horn blew alerting me that they were behind me. After a five point turn I followed Shadows to a hotel parking lot and he jumped out of his truck and opened my door, “Get over, I’m driving.”
“Is he okay Shadows, tell me he’s okay.”
“They pulled him out two minutes ago,” he said as he put the X5 in gear, “I have no fucking clue Frankie.”
“Oh God,” I covered my face and sobbed.
“He fucking went back. Motherfucker I swear I am going to kick his fucking ass!”
“What? I don’t understand?” I wiped my nose on my sleeve.
“His co-pilot, Reed, didn’t get out. Irons took his fucking inflation device off and went back in. Reed came up, Irons, fucking Irons! Stupid son- of- a- bitch.”
“Why? Why would he do that!”
“Reed and his wife just had a kid. Before they crashed he said, ‘Reed gets out first.’ Reed didn’t come up so Irons went back down. Couldn’t fucking wait for the coast guard to get there.”
“Oh God, I’m going to get sick.” I rolled down the window and threw up.
“They found him Frankie,” Shadows rubbed my back. “They got him to shore. Fucking Ace of all people pulled him out.”
“Where is Titan ?”
“On his way to Portsmouth already, that’s where they were taking him. Russ called said you were being a pain in the ass so I was coming to get you.”
“I don’t know who to trust anymore,” tears wouldn’t stop falling.
“Yeah well, that Night Hawk had just been in maintenance. There was no fucking problem with it--.”
“Do you think--.”
“I don’t know what to think anymore Frankie. Jax doesn’t fuck up. We play this cool until we find out, you got me?”
I nodded, “Yes.”
“We are ten minutes away from Portsmouth. Get yourself together or they may not let you in.”
“I’m his wife Shadows!” I snapped and hadn’t meant to.
“Who knows that information Frankie? Just us. If this wasn’t a fluke and someone is after him, tell me, do you think going in there waving the wife flag is gonna help?”
“I can’t stay away Shadows, don’t even ask me to.”
“You listen to me, we do this my way. His parents are two hours from here but when they get here, if they don’t accept you with open arms, you keep your shit together until we know what we are facing.”
We were getting out of the SUV when the ambulance tore in. Shadows held me back from running to them. When they unloaded him I saw a man straddling a body doing chest compressions.
“Is that--”
“Let’s go,” Shadows and I ran into the emergency room.
After waiting twenty minutes a nurse came out, “Lieutenant Shadows, come with me.”
Titan was already in the room with Jaxson talking to a nurse when we walked in.
“I understand that you two are his health care proxies.” They both nodded yes then the doctor looked at me. “And you are.”
“I’m, um, I am his--.”
“Jaxson would want Francesca here. As a matter –a –fact, he would want her to be the one making all decisions for him.”
“Well unfortunately, legally that isn’t what we have
here on file.”
“Please don’t ask me to leave,” tears sprung up but I didn’t let them spill.
“Dr. Neil. This is William Cruz’s sister. Do you remember him?”
The doctor smiled at me and nodded.
“I’ll do whatever you want, but don’t ask me to leave. I need to know how he is,” I walked over and took his hand, “Jax, please wake up. Please wake up and tell me you’ll be okay.”
“Miss Cruz. Lieutenant Irons has suffered an extreme amount of trauma to his head, and then was without air for an unknown amount of time. He wasn’t breathing when they pulled him out of the water, they preformed rescue CPR and brought him back, then he flat-lined on the way to the hospital. His heart is now beating, as of right now he is breathing on his own, and he just came back from x-ray. We know he has a broken leg and arm, both on his left side, caused by the impact. We also know he has a bleed on the brain and that it is swelling. We are clearing an OR now so that we can go in and alleviate some of the swelling. If he is strong enough to survive that--.”
“He is. I know he is,” my voice broke. “He is going to be fine, aren’t you Jax. You and I have so much to do together. Don’t you quit on me now, not when it all just started. I love you Jax. I love you so you fight for you, and then if that’s not enough, fight for me cause I can’t do it without you.”
A team of doctors entered and they pushed past me. Shadows took my hand and pulled me back, “Let them get to work.”
“I love you Jax,” I cried out softly as they wheeled him out of the room.
Shadows, held me as I cried into his shirt.
~
We waited in his room for two hours before we heard anything.
“Lieutenant Irons is out of surgery. He has pins in his leg, and we were able to find the bleed and alleviate the pressure. Dr. Neil will be with you when she can.”
“When can I see him?” I asked.
“Soon, Miss Cruz.” The nurse smiled and walked out.
I heard Jax’s name in the hallway and Shadows sat up, “Congressman and the Mrs. are here Frankie. It’s show time,” he looked at my had, “You gonna take off those rings?”
“Never,” I shook my head no.
“How bout the band Frankie, they don’t know yet.”
“I don’t care,” I snapped at him.
“Frankie--.”
“I said no.”
“You know what, Will was right, you are a little pain in the ass.”
“Yeah well--.”
“Lieutenant Shadows, Miss Cruz, how is our son?”
Chapter 10
Shadows
History will not repeat itself
“Senator, Mrs. Irons, Jaxson is in recovery. We should know more in a bit.”
“Thank you for being here.” I watched as she eyeballed Little Will whose head was still buried in my chest.
“Wouldn’t be anywhere else Ma’am.” I said with a nod.
“And Miss Cruz, what brings you by?”
I swear to God above I held my breath waiting to see what she was gonna say.
“I’m here for Jaxson,” she said as she wiped her tears.
“This must be hard for you after losing Will in much the same way.” Her voice was cold, not what you’d expect from a mother, not that mine was much better, but that was a totally different level of fucked up.
“Of course it’s hard.” Frankie shook her head in disbelief.
“My wife is having a very hard time with this. I apologize she took some medication to relax knowing she needed to be strong for Jaxson. Isn’t that right dear?”
“I don’t know why you think an explanation is needed darling. I’m sure Francesca understands, don’t you dear?”
“I understand loss, and I know Jaxson is going to be fine.”
“Well we can all pray, but we also need to be prepared for the worst.”
“The doctors seem hopeful,” I interrupted. “He made it through impact, came up and then went back in to save his co-pilot.”
“Our son will receive the purple heart,” she smiled at the Senator.
He rolled his eyes ever so slightly and looked at me, “How are the other two soldiers?”
“All I know is they are both alive.” I answered.
“That’s good.” Senator Irons closed his eyes and nodded, “Now we just pray Jaxson stays with us.”
It was second later that Deveroux, his wife, and Mimi came in.
“Oh Helen,” Deveroux’s wife, Maxine, lunged at her and hugged her. “We are here for you.”
“Thank you Maxine, we appreciate your support.” She turned to Arthur Deveroux and nodded and then to Mimi, “He’ll be glad you are here dear.”
“Tell me he’s going to be okay Helen,” she cried. “Please, I can’t lose him.”
Frankie’s entire body stiffened and I held her just a little tighter, “Easy Mrs. Irons.” I whispered. She looked up at me as if she was looking for answers. “We’re here for him, not showboating for the US of fucking A.”
A nurse came in, “Oh wow. Um, we have moved Jaxson to ICU, there can only be immediate family, and only two at a time.”
“His father and I are the only immediate family here.” Helen spoke up.
“Titan and I are his healthcare proxies,” I interjected.
“And I’m--.” Frankie started.
“She’s family too,” I interrupted.
“She’s not truly family Shadows.” Helen scowled at me.
“I’m Jax’s family Helen.” Frankie sneered. “He and I--.”
“We can make an exception, can’t we?” I asked the nurse.
She looked completely overwhelmed. “ICU has strict guidelines. I will see what I can do. There is a waiting room just outside of the doors, I will show you all the way. It’s on the second floor.”
While everyone pilled into the elevator I held Frankie back, “We’re going to grab a coffee. Anyone else need one?”
“Shadows, no, what are you doing?” I took her hand and dragged her behind me. “Let go of me, damn it!”
“I know this shit is hard Frankie, one of my best friends is up there fighting for his life, but he’s alive. When he wakes up, he’s going to want some fucking answers. So right now, we find them and keep your little ass safe, you feel me?”
“Is he safe Shadows? She is, she is, and God she is so cold! She doesn’t get to be the first voice he hears.”
I grabbed the phone out of my pocket and showed her the text from Titan , “He’s on post working on finding out more. That bird should never have went down Frankie, until we know for sure the fucking Ice queen, Smith, and Deveroux aren’t involved I am gonna have to tell you to shut your damn mouth. I don’t like it anymore than you do. Jax’s last fucking words were take care of my wife and I will make damn sure--.”
She burst into tears and lunged at me. She held on so damn tight as she cried. Fuck! I don’t do this shit. I don’t know what to even say to comfort her, “Listen. That man loves you, and your brother will always be my brother. By default you’re fucking stuck girl. So you play this damn game and you’ll be there when he opens up his eyes. He’s busted up and has a long road ahead of him. You’re going to have to be the one who helps him recover and at the same damn time you are gonna have to be the calm to his storm.”
“Okay,” she said and pulled back, wiping her eyes.
We walked into the waiting room with coffee for the whole crew. Mimi’s parents sat on each side of her comforting her. I looked back at Frankie and rolled my eyes.
“I just saw him Wednesday. He came over with flowers and wine. We talked about future campaign plans. God, I can’t believe this. Lieutenant Shadows, tell us what happened. Was he able to talk?”
I sat down and looked at her trying not to say some stupid shit that was on the tip of my tongue. “We were in contact until impact.”
“Did he mention me?”
“Not one word, sorry.”
“Francesca right?” she as
ked wiping her tears and extending her hand to Frankie.
She looked at her, “Yes and you’re Mimi. Jax’s event escort.”
The way she said escort made me want to laugh, it was a definite slap in the face.
“And your Will’s kid sister. I’m sorry for your loss.”
“Jax has helped me get through that and I have helped him.”
“It’s good to have friends,” Mimi came back.
“Yeah well he and I are a little more--.”
“Frankie means a lot to Jaxson.” I interrupted and then looked at her. “Don’t you forget that.”
“Through sickness and in health,” she looked at me.
Senator Irons walked in and Mimi jumped up, “Can I see him now?”
“Of course dear,” he answered.
“Go with her,” Frankie pushed me.
“You keep your ass in this chair. I come back and you’re gone--.”
“I’m not going anywhere.” She scowled at me.
I walked past the nurses station expecting to be stopped, but I wasn’t.
“When he wakes up, he’ll think about what is important Mimi. After a near death experience prospective change,” Helen said softly. I stopped just outside the door and continued to listen.
“She just won’t go away. She’ll ruin him.” Mimi snapped.
“God willing he wakes and changes his mind about her.”
“Did the paper issue get resolved?”
“Of course dear. You’ve showed loyalty to this family, we will make sure you are rewarded. You just have to make sure that you don’t slip up again, Mimi. Your little romp with Joel could have cost you even more. I do need to ask you to help the cause a little more and get her to either leave on her own accord, or at the hands of security.”
