“So the new website will feature real stories of choices young men have made. If you’d like to submit your story for consideration, please send your e-mail to Kelli London at the address in the program.”
Brian looked at Kelli with surprise and opened the program they’d been using. “You didn’t tell me about this. You’re working at the church now?”
“Only part-time, in the mornings. I start Tuesday.”
“That should be great experience, Kel. Congrats. And I love what they’re doing with this ministry.”
She nodded. “I really hope it makes an impact.”
They tucked the game away during the rest of the service, focusing on Pastor Lyles’s sermon and a moving song afterward by the choir, the one Kelli had heard them practicing Thursday evening.
When the service was over, Brian had his eye on Logan. “I have to ask him if he wrote that song. That was incredible.”
“I hadn’t thought about that. I’d like to know too.”
Kelli and Brian waited as Logan talked with his bass player and drummer.
“Hey! Good to see you guys,” he said when he saw them.
“I know you’re busy between services,” Brian said, “but had to tell you that song was the bomb. Did you write it?”
“I did. Thanks, man.”
“You have a real gift for leading in worship,” Kelli said. “I bet you wrote that song from last Sunday, too, based on Psalm 91. Stayed in my head all week.”
“You two are embarrassing me. Yes, I wrote it, but . . . from what I’m hearing, you’re putting together some awesome songs yourselves.”
Kelli smiled. “Let me guess which little bird told you that. Heather?”
Logan smiled in return. “She did. No specifics, just that it’s awesome.”
“I’m glad she has you for a friend,” Kelli said.
“She’s probably a better friend to me than I am to her. And she helps me feed my inner child. We’re going to Six Flags after church.”
Kelli and Brian gave each other a look.
“What?” Logan asked.
Brian had a gleam in his eye. “We used to be Six Flags fools. When I got my first car, Cedric bought us season passes—”
“Best gift ever,” Kelli added.
“—and we’d go even if we only had a couple of hours to ride the Screaming Eagle fifty times.”
“Oh, well there you go.” Logan lifted his hands. “It’s a foursome. Screaming Eagle fools unite.”
Brian looked to Kelli. She knew he was remembering her response when he’d asked to go to the Science Center. But this was different. It wouldn’t just be her and Brian. She’d have Heather to pal around with as well.
“I think it’ll be a lot of fun,” she said. “Let’s do it.”
BRIAN WAS BRIMMING WITH ENTHUSIASM, READY TO thank God already for answered prayer.
Friday night in the Ozarks had been hard, especially because it caused him to think even more about Kelli and what they didn’t have. He’d felt defeated all the way back to St. Louis, thinking he’d never have the one woman he cared deeply about, due to his own failures.
Somewhere on that road back, though, a radical notion came to him—unplug for several hours Saturday and pray. Pray about Kelli. Pray about the album. First he thought he’d gone mad. He’d been planning to call Kelli first thing and spend the day in the studio. How could he afford to give up a Saturday, given his deadline? But the urge was insistent, so he went with it, thinking by the end of the day—as a nice bonus—the divine quiet would bring a flood of musical inspiration.
He didn’t get that flood, but he got some hope, if only a little. Focusing on God all that time and diving deep into Scripture, reminded him that he didn’t need to feel defeated. Nothing was impossible with God, not even the seeming miracle of knitting his and Kelli’s hearts back together.
But he sure hadn’t expected movement the next morning— sitting with Kelli and her family, making plans to spend the rest of the day at Six Flags. He was almost afraid to get excited, but how could he not? He couldn’t wait to go home, get changed, and meet up with her again.
KELLI HADN’T RIDDEN A ROLLER COASTER IN YEARS. IT felt like part of her was reawakening, the carefree side that enjoyed life and made the most of it. She couldn’t remember when she’d laughed this hard.
“Heather, seriously, let’s ride in the first car this time.” They were at the point in line where they had to choose a lane.
“Uh-uh. Girl, I told you . . . I love roller coasters, but something about the very front makes me nervous. I feel like I’ll fall out.”
“I’ll sit in front with you.”
Kelli looked at Brian. They’d been at the park two hours, and thus far the pairing on the rides had been Kelli and Heather, Brian and Logan. Heather had even told Kelli she was glad they came, so it wouldn’t seem too much like a “couple thing” between her and Logan.
But Kelli had to sit in front at least once. “Let’s do it.”
The roller coaster lurched upward with Kelli and Brian in the lead car, pumping their fists and yelling.
Heather and Logan were right behind.
“Truth be told,” Heather yelled, “I’m not crazy about the second car either. I like the comfortable middle.”
Kelli turned around, smiling. “You’ll love the thrill. And don’t close your eyes.”
At the very top, Kelli and Brian stuck their hands in the air. Kelli laughed when she glanced behind to see that Logan was doing the same, but Heather was holding the bar, eyes shut tight.
Kelli screamed at the top of her lungs when they tipped downward. She and Brian bumped into one another as the car jerked this way and that, taking tight curves and zipping down more hills. It sped through the tunnel and screeched to a stop.
They unbuckled their belts and got out. Kelli goaded Heather. “Totally different experience, right? Admit it.”
“I did get a rush.” She laughed. “I might be up for trying the first car. After a break. Whew. Was that eight times straight?”
They talked as they strolled to another section of the park, Kelli and Brian now side by side, Heather and Logan just behind. She looked back at Heather. “So I want to hear more about the conversation with your brother. Did you talk about getting together soon?”
“We didn’t talk long. When I called, they’d just gotten home from church and were on their way to a barbecue or something. He was so shocked to hear from me, he mostly kept saying, ‘I can’t believe this.’” Heather was smiling. “We caught up on the past some and said we’d talk again this week. I’m really excited about getting to know him and his family. I’ve got two nieces and a nephew!”
“It’ll be nothing for you to go see them,” Logan said. “Normal is only two hours away.”
“I love that they’re so close,” Heather said. “I might pop over there so often I make a pest of myself.”
“I doubt that,” Kelli said. “Sounds like he was as excited as you were.”
“Lemonade!” Logan’s shout startled them.
Heather laughed. “Hey, Logan, how would you like some lemonade?”
He wiped his forehead. “I need a bucket. The sun ain’t playing today.”
The four got in line at the fresh lemonade stand, continuing the banter, when Kelli’s phone rang. She glanced at it . . . and let it go to voice mail.
When it rang again, she remembered she’d told Miles she’d be available to listen to a draft proposal he’d written for work—but that was yesterday, before the Six Flags opportunity. She faced away from the others and answered. “Miles, hi.”
“I’m glad I tried you again. I’d really like your input on this— where are you? Do I hear screaming?”
“I’m, uh, actually at an amusement park. It was just a spur-of-the-moment thing with some friends from church.” Kelli moved up with the rest in line, keeping a slight distance.
“An amusement park? So . . . you’re with your girlfriends?”
�
��Just a group of friends, no big deal.” Kelli tried to keep her voice light.
“Sounds fun.” He paused. “Wish I could be there with you.”
“Yeah. Me too.”
“I’ve been thinking more about that lately, that we need to plan a visit. I think it would be nice to come to St. Louis and see your favorite spots, since I’ve never been.”
“Definitely. Let’s plan that.” Suddenly, the thought of Miles in St. Louis seemed a little more complicated. Couldn’t happen while she and Brian were working on the album, that was for sure.
“I’ll let you go,” Miles said. “Call me later?”
“Absolutely.”
Brian handed her a tall plastic cup of lemonade.
“You didn’t have to get that for me. Thank you.”
They moved out of line, waiting for Logan and Heather.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked.
“Tell you what?” She inserted her straw.
“You have a boyfriend, Kel?”
Her stomach dipped. “Brian, it’s really kind of private.”
“Private? You can’t even tell me yes or no?”
Heather and Logan walked up, but when they saw Kelli’s and Brian’s faces, kept moving and stopped at a baseball hat kiosk.
Kelli nodded. “Yes, I have a boyfriend.”
“So, I say again, why didn’t you tell me?”
“There was no need to tell you, Brian. It’s none of your business.” Kelli felt like she had a split personality, part of her defensive about his questioning her, the other part wishing he hadn’t found out.
Brian looked away, wearing that look Kelli knew like the back of her hand. His feelings were hurt.
“You’re right.” He still wouldn’t look at her. “It’s none of my business.”
Kelli sighed. “I wasn’t trying to be mean. I was just—”
He held up his hand. “My fault, Kelli, I shouldn’t have asked.” He yelled over to Heather and Logan. “Y’all ready?”
The pairings shifted again, Kelli and Heather, Brian and Logan.
Logan had the map out, trying to find the quickest route to the newer wooden roller coaster, when a couple with three children came toward them. They slowed, whispering, and Kelli saw Heather turn slightly away from them.
The woman approached. “Logan? What a surprise to see you here.”
“Oh, hey, Sue”—Logan nodded to her husband—“Herb. You guys having fun with the kids?”
“Having a great time. But . . . can we talk to you a minute?”
“Sure.” Logan followed them a few feet.
The couple’s faces registered concern, and the more they talked, the more bothered Logan appeared.
“What do you think’s going on?” Kelli asked. “Do you know them?”
Heather sighed. “They’re in the choir. They’re talking about me.”
Kelli frowned. “Why?”
Heather gave her a look.
Moments later the family continued on, and Logan returned, staring after them.
“You all right?” Brian asked.
Logan gave a quick shake of his head. “I don’t get people. We say we’re followers of Christ. We say we believe in forgiveness and redemption. And yet . . .”
“They said you shouldn’t be here with me, didn’t they?”
“Let’s just say they questioned my judgment. But please don’t let it upset you. We’re having way too much fun.”
“I’m not upset. I’m in too good a mood after talking to Ian and spending time with y’all. And anyway, they think I’m the old Heather, but I know who I am.”
“There you go.” Kelli high-fived her. “You’re not the same. Remember the twins.”
Logan arched an eyebrow. “Twins?”
Heather nodded. “Cyd likes to say, ‘Nothing like those twins Grace and Mercy.’”
“I like that,” Logan said.
Brian sounded a quiet, “Amen.”
They began walking slowly again, three of them. Kelli remained in place, listening.
“Girl,” Heather said, turning, “I started talking, thinking you were beside me.”
Kelli heard her, but she had to get this. Head angled to the side, bobbing, she focused a few seconds more. She looked up finally, into inquisitive faces. “Let me try a melody out on you guys. I only have the first couple lines, but here goes . . .” She paused to get it again. “His grace and mercy have covered you; you’re not the same . . .”
“Mm, I like that,” Heather said. “Sing it again. I want to try something.”
Kellie did. “His grace and mercy have covered you; you’re not the same . . .”
Heather added, “No longer bound by what you used to do.”
Kelli grinned. “That’s why He came.”
“So you could make a change, completely new.”
Kelli high-fived her again. “And in His name . . .”
“You are a conqueror, beloved too.”
Logan looked incredulous. “Did you two just stand here and put together a chorus on the fly? And you sounded beautiful together.”
Kelli looked at Brian, unsure because of the tension between them. “Might be another love letter.”
Brian’s gaze was contemplative, somewhat distant, but he nodded. “I agree with Logan. It was beautiful. I’m hearing both of you on the chorus too.”
Kelli’s face lit up. “Brian, really? That would be so perfect, Heather and I singing about God’s grace and mercy.” She turned to Heather, hands clasped. “You have to do it. No way could those words have come to you like that if you weren’t meant to sing them.”
Heather stared downward. “I’ve never felt the presence of God like that, like . . . He was really doing it.” She paused again. “Brian, if you want us both to be on the chorus, I’d be honored.” She looked at Kelli, tears cresting. “I agree. It would be so perfect.”
twenty-four
KELLI WOKE UP TUESDAY MORNING EXCITED ABOUT her new job, but now that she’d been at it for two hours, she was even more enthused. She’d spent the first part of the morning settling into her cubicle, touring the three buildings on the church’s property, and familiarizing herself with the various ministries, including their printed brochures and web presence. She had no idea Living Word had so much going on—Bible studies and accompanying DVDs on almost every book of the Bible that shipped to people around the world, tons of active outreaches in the community in addition to ministries within the church, not to mention a music ministry that was gaining more and more outside recognition. All of this meant that the internal and external communications connected with these efforts— web, publications, media, and video—needed to be consistent with Living Word’s vision and commitment to biblical integrity.
Now she was digging into her first project, thrilled that it was the newest ministry being birthed at Living Word. She’d been reading through the stories that had come in since Sunday’s announcement, amazed at not only the sheer volume, but at the transparency of the men. She flagged particularly poignant ones or those that showcased different walks of life.
The one in front of her was especially moving, a young man who’d started dealing drugs at fourteen after his father died and his mother was herself strung out on drugs. Reminded her somewhat of Brian, whose mother also struggled with addiction. If it weren’t for Grandma Howard, who knows? He might’ve ended up like this guy, living a life of robbing and stealing and violent assault. Someone eventually told this man about Jesus, and he was forever changed. At twenty-nine he now worked in the inner city, sharing the Gospel with guys who were like him. That was definitely one to feature on the website, if not the video.
Kelli sat back a moment, thinking about that video. Doug told her this morning she had a green light to script it. She wondered if a portion should be an interview format, maybe of Cedric, since Scott didn’t want to tell his story that way. She could write a list of questions for him to answer on camera, which would then be edited for seamless ef
fect. But she knew she wanted a dramatization as well, and as she read through these stories, she was looking for one to feature. So many possibilities. So much potential impact.
A shadow fell across her desk, and she looked up. “Brian? What are you doing here?”
He got a chair from another seating area and placed it in the cubicle. “I’m here every Tuesday, meeting with the pastor.”
“I didn’t know that.”
His gaze was solemn. “Got a minute?”
Kelli nodded. “I do.”
He leaned over, elbows on his thighs. “I talked to Dr. Lyles about something and thought I’d run it by you too, since it involves you.”
Kelli turned more toward him.
“The love letter to our baby . . .” He looked down a moment. “I’d come to the conclusion that I would release the album, the song would be on there, and people could piece together on their own that it’s about our love for a baby. But I wouldn’t directly address it, and they’d never really know the story.” He paused again. “But I feel like God is moving me to do more with the song . . . to make it the first release on the album and tell the story behind it in some form or fashion.”
Kelli took a breath, eyes widening. “I don’t even know what to say.”
“Yeah, that was my first thought. If I have to be honest, I know what I’m struggling with. I’m not the Christian rapper who came out of a really hard street life. I’m the one with the ‘good boy’ image. What’ll happen if people see this other side of me?” He sighed. “I thought about how people treat Heather, knowing her past. I might lose a lot of support.”
“What did Pastor Lyles say?”
“Same thing I knew in my heart but needed to hear—that I can’t operate out of fear. I have to do what I feel God’s leading me to do. But he said something else—that he thought God would use this in ways I couldn’t imagine.”
Kelli’s heart was beating fast, trying to catch up with what Brian was saying and what it might mean. “So . . . how much would you tell? About the baby only? About us?” Her mind flashed to Miles. He didn’t know about her past.
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