by K. T Fisher
I nod my head. I wouldn't miss it for anything now. He asks me to walk him to the door, and I do. I'm still in a state of shock. When we reach the door he turns to face me, kissing me gently on the forehead. "See you tomorrow, angel."
I shut the door behind me, leaning against it, staring into my empty home. What the fuck just happened?
I don't know how long I stay like that, but I decide to get into bed. I think about Leo's words. I wonder if we'd been clearer with one another, if things would have been different, could we still have been together?
That night I fall asleep with thoughts I haven't let into my mind in a long time.
Chapter 14
Tanya
I wake up the next morning feeling a little disorientated. I dreamt of Leo all night, remembering how we were, and also, of what we could have been. Sadly, I also dreamt of the baby we created, that sadly, I lost. I still grieve for our baby. Whenever I think about it, I'm still overcome with utter loss. Our baby was taken away from us. Leo has no idea he could have been a father.
I go about my morning routine as usual. When I'm in the shower, I think of Leo, and what he said. His words still shock me. I begin to wonder if maybe I imagined his visit last night.
When I'm ready to go, I leave for work. I'm glad Kendal isn't at work today, I know I'd have her questioning me all day. I can't deal with that today. I need to forget. I'm hoping work will keep my mind busy with my clients’ endless chatter.
***
After a busy day of non-stop hair and beauty, I'm glad to finally be home. I thought being at work would keep my mind off Leo, but I thought of nothing but him for the entire day! Him and his words. The memory of his face as he told me he wants me back sending shivers all through me.
Maisy comes over after I've been home an hour. We're getting ready together before the gig. I'm really looking forward to it, not just because I've always loved to watch Decoy's shows, but because ever since Leo left my apartment last night, I can't wait to see him again.
As I finish making my hair perfectly wavy, and my make-up fit for any rock princess, Maisy turns to me with a curious look on her face. "So, how did last night go?"
I mockingly frown back. I've been thinking about giving her a piece of my mind for telling Leo where I live, but I'm secretly glad she did. "Wouldn't you like to know?"
A surprised look crosses her face. She probably thought I was going to shout at her, I did too when I first heard from Leo that he came because Maisy told him we needed to talk. Since I saw him though, things have changed.
Maisy plants her hands on her hips. "Yes I would, and you're going to tell all, right now."
I fill her in on everything that Leo told me. Her shocked face probably looks the same as mine did last night. When I've finished talking, her face breaks out in a huge smile. "I fucking knew it! I knew you had it wrong! No way could Leo treat you like that."
I look at her with disbelief. "You were the one slagging him off!"
She laughs a little, pulling on her black dress. "Yeah, well, I was a little drunk, and when I left yours last week, I couldn't stop thinking about it. I just couldn't see Leo talking to you like that."
I dress in my leather skin tight leggings and red silk blouse. I can feel Maisy's eyes on me, when I turn around I see I'm right. She looks deep in thought. "So what are you gonna do?"
I shrug my shoulders. "I dunno right now."
One of her perfectly shaped eyebrows raises. "Well, you look freaking hot. I bet there's a reason for that."
I slip on my red heels. "Yeah, I wanna look good for the show."
Maisy coughs in a mocking way. "Yeah, keep telling yourself that."
I shoot her a glare as she walks out of my room laughing.
***
When we arrive at the arena where Decoy are playing I'm covered in goose bumps. As we're led backstage to our friends, I can feel the electricity sizzling in the atmosphere. I'm really looking forward to watching the guys play again.
The large man who guided Maisy and me through the maze of backstage stops at a large door and knocks. Max opens the door, dressed like a badass rock star, in tight jeans and shirt. He smiles widely when he sees us. "It's about time!"
He smothers us both in a tight hug, leading us into the huge room. There's a massive table full of food, another table full of bottles of alcohol, and five huge sofas. Everyone's standing in the middle of the room, smiling at us, but it's Leo's smile that has me smiling back. The girls surround me and Maisy, welcoming us, then we say hi to all the guys.
While I'm talking to Jax and Kendal I feel a hand touch the small of my back. I turn, seeing Leo standing at my side. He's got a huge smile on his face, those damn dimples affect me like you wouldn't believe. "Wow angel, you look amazing."
I look down at myself, feeling my cheeks burning, and thank him. When I look back up I notice we're now alone. Jax and Kendal have left us to it. Cheers guys! If that's not bad enough I take a quick sweep of the room, seeing everyone has their nosy little eyes and ears on us. Noticing this himself, Leo guides me to the table with the drinks in the far side of the room. He pours me a Vodka and Lemonade. "I'm glad you're here." Leo says, handing me my drink.
"I wouldn't miss it." It sounds cheesy, but it's true. I couldn't have missed this.
"Have you thought about what I said last night?"
I bite on my lip, nodding. "A little."
He steps closer, taking a strand of my hair between his fingers. "And?"
I take a deep breath to calm myself. "I don't know, Leo."
He nods his head, his fingers letting go of my hair, then stroking my cheek. "I'm gonna make you mine."
Just as he says this a voice behind me shouts that it's time to make our way to the stage. I'm glad, because I don't know what the fuck to say to him. A couple of days ago I was so fucking pissed at him, now I'm becoming all flustered just like I used to. Leo flashes me a smile, taking hold of my hand and leads me behind our group of friends. Even Mark, Sam and James are here. Leo's large hand feels so warm in my little one, rough too, manly.
When we reach the destination, I hold in my gasp. There's a black curtain in front of us. Through a small gap I can see a huge stage. There's a band playing already, warming up the crowd. There are so many people here, the place is huge! There are men running around, making sure everything is running smoothly and where it should be. It's funny seeing people looking and treating them like this. They're still just the guys to me, but to everyone else, they're Decoy, the world famous rock band.
I'm standing with Sophie and Kendal, while the Decoy members are being checked over and connected to whatever they need to be, before they walk on stage. Sophie rubs her swollen belly, sighing. "I don't think I'm gonna last the whole concert."
Kendal giggles. "I'm ok, but Jax wants me to go sit in the V.I.P room half way. He worries too much."
Sophie's eyes widen. "Good idea, then I can still watch them on the TV's in there."
I look down at their round bellies and they notice. "Oh Tan, I'm sorry." Kendal starts to apologize, but I stop her.
"No, don't you dare. I'm fine, I'm happy for you both. Don't be hiding yourselves from me."
She smiles at me, nodding. They talk amongst themselves. I feel eyes watching me. I look around, spotting Leo leaning against a steel pole. I feel like shouting at him, surely that little thing can't support his big frame. He looks fucking sexy as hell though, in his jeans and white shirt, his drum sticks in one hand. He sends me a crooked smile, and I smile back. I can't help it. I notice Jax and Max's shocked faces, before turning back to the girl’s conversation.
It's time for Decoy to take the stage. The crowd is going insane. They walk on one by one, each getting a huge cheer from their fans. As they start their set, I can't take my eyes off Leo. Watching him as he bangs those drums is hypnotic. I feel as if I've gone back in time, except their crowds were never this big. Their music is as good as it always was. I used to watch Leo and fantasize about him
. I find myself doing it again, watching his white shirt soak up his sweat and making it damp enough for me to see those beautiful muscles, his arms bulging from his shirt sleeves. Damn he's sexy.
Sophie and Kendal decide to disappear to the V.I.P room half way through. Bless their pregnant asses.
When the show finishes, and they've appeased their audience with an encore, they stroll off the stage. I become more hot and flustered the closer Leo gets to me. The sight of him, the smell of him, is just too much for me to handle. I can see his six pack through his shirt as it clings to his skin. Fuck me, he looks incredible!
He flashes me a wink as he passes by me to get to the roadies. They hand him his towels and take away his drum sticks. He watches closely as they take them away. I'm not happy when I spot a skanky looking girl walk right up to him, groupie. I can tell by her tacky make-up covered face, short dress and fuck me heels. She screams desperation.
Maisy wraps her arm around me as I watch the groupie run her nails down Leo's arm and whisper into his ear. I see red, but I can't do fuck all about it. See Leo, how can I trust you when it's just the same as it was before?
I look down at the floor. I can't cry, but then I hear his voice. "No thanks." I look up in shock. Leo looks right at me as he speaks to her. "I'm waiting for someone else."
My legs shake, I almost fall from the shock.
Leo
In the car back to mine and Max's place I can't help but carry a smug eating grin. Knowing that Tanya was watching me was fucking awesome. I could have killed those bitches for ruining it for her, for us. I love my career, but when it comes to Tanya, I hate that the groupies are a part of it. Sure I've had a lot of great nights with them, but they are no use to me anymore. All I want is Tanya to myself, and after hearing what Tanya thought of me the first time around, I want her to know I've changed. That's not going to happen if band sluts are always around. This time we're doing it right, this time everyone will know she's mine, no fucking around. It's going to be the way it should have been the first time.
"So, where do you two live?" I look over to Tanya who's sitting in the passenger seat. I drove to the gig tonight because I knew I wouldn't be drinking. I was saving that until we got to mine and Max's, where the party's being held. I was worried Tanya wouldn't come, but when she said yes I made sure she was riding with me. I didn't give anyone else chance to catch a ride, I sped off wanting it to be just us two.
"About ten minutes from Jax and Kendal's and Sophie and Rhys' place, but it's nowhere as big." Although our place is bigger than average for a house, it's nothing compared to their family sized mansions. I've been looking at new places on the market, but I haven't told anyone. There's no need to just yet.
I watch Tanya as she takes in my home, I'm pleased she seems to like it.
"Wow Leo, this place is beautiful." She turns to look at me as I park in front of the garage, giving me a smile. She's fucking beautiful. Holding back is a fucking hard job, but I'm trying, for her.
I take her hand as we walk to the front door. Music is already blaring, the room's packed with people already dancing. I wasn't expecting this many, but I should have known as Max was in control of the guest list. Tanya spots Kendal and Maisy, wandering over to them. I watch her as they giggle together and smile.
"Ya know, you do look creepy standing there watching her." I turn to see Rhys grinning at me, Sophie standing at his side with the same smile.
Sophie playfully smacks his arm. "Leave him alone." She looks over to Tanya and back at me. "I heard you two had a chat?"
"You heard right." I'm not telling her anything, I know how these girls are. If I reveal any of Tanya's secrets, then I'll be back on Tanya's shit list. I don't want that, so I don't say anything to her friend, even though Sophie's a friend of mine as well. Girls are close, they share all of that shit.
Sophie giggles. "Well, I spoke to Maisy and we're just happy. You seem to have said the right thing. Keep it up."
I give her a smile and, after talking some more, they eventually walk off. Max approaches with a beer in each hand, passing me one. "Why are you standing here?"
"I was talking to Rhys and Soph."
"Well you'd better get out back, some dude is talking to Tan."
I look up to where I saw her last, she's not there. "Why are there so many fucking people here?"
Max shrugs his shoulders, and I give him a few strong words. I storm towards the back garden where more people are dancing and I look around for her. "Over there." Max points out from behind me. I see them, and I see red. Some fucker is talking to Tanya, and she doesn't look very comfortable. He's leering at her, and fucking gawping. I start to walk closer, feeling like I'm breathing fucking fire. I'm that pissed off.
"Look, I said I'm not interested." I hear Tanya say.
"Aw baby, don't be like that. Trust me, you will be." I hear the dick say back, then he takes a step closer.
Tanya steps back, scowling at him. I don't let her say another word, I've already pushed him to the floor. I hear her gasp in surprise, and I turn to check on her. Max is standing by her, talking to her. I turn back to the man sitting on the floor, looking up at me. "Oh, it's you Leo. Fuck, if that was anyone else man, I'd be pissed."
Why do people say that?
They would be pissed if I was an average Joe, but because I'm in a band, he's fucking cool with it. Fucking pathetic.
"Get the fuck up and leave."
"What?"
"You fucking deaf? I said get up and get out!"
Everyone stops and stares at us. Jax and Rhys come to stand by me while the girls usher Tanya away. The dick on the floor gets up, squaring his shoulders. "What the fucks your problem?"
"You don't take no for an answer. Girls don't like that shit."
He looks over to Tanya. "What's that piece of ass got to do with you?"
I don't even think. Before I know it he's back on the ground holding his nose, blood pouring down his chin. Fucker should know a drummer has strong arms. He stumbles up, but Jax and Max carry him off. I look to Rhys and calm myself. "Do me a favor, if you see any dicks about or chicks who are up to trouble, just chuck em out? I want this to be a good night, and fucking Max has invited all these people."
He nods, smacking my back. I give him a nod, walking over to Tanya. The girls leave us alone, giving me small smiles as they pass. I'm going to say sorry as soon as I get close enough, but she shocks the hell out of me. "I'm so sorry Leo. That guy was a prick."
I smile. "You're not bothered about that?"
I hope not, because I have a habit of thinking too quickly with my fists when it comes to dickheads like him. I have a feeling when it comes to men coming on to Tanya, it will be worse. Now I know why Rhys and Jax are so damn protective of their women. Fucking hell, I've got a headache already.
Tanya smiles back. "No, he deserved it." She takes a step towards me, pointing her finger at my chest. "Besides, it was pretty hot to watch."
She walks past me, sauntering off. I quickly follow like a lost puppy as she goes to fetch another drink. I see Jax on the way, smirking at me, so I give him the finger. Prick knows what I'm going through.
After a few drinks I know Tanya's a little tipsy. She always was a lightweight, even though she'll never admit it. She puts down her empty glass, strutting over to me, hips swaying to the music. "You wanna dance?"
Like she needs to ask!
I grab her by the waist and we dance. Or you may call it dry humping. I want to remind her what we had. Our bodies soon recognize each other, remembering what the other likes. Every time I was with Tanya was amazing, I never knew sex could be that good. I wasn't mature enough then to realize what that meant, but I do now. I still love her, I still need her. This time I won't fuck it up.
We spend most of the night drinking, laughing and dancing. People start to go home. Jax and Rhys had already taken Kendal and Sophie home earlier. Tanya's face is close to mine as she grinds on me. Her lips are close enough to kiss. I lean closer
, deciding to take what's mine. I hear her moan as my mouth covers hers. Her arms wrap around my neck, pulling me closer. This is what I've been waiting for since I came back. Her mouth feels like fucking heaven. Fuck, I missed her so much, and those little sounds she makes when she kisses me.
"Let's go somewhere private." She whispers in my ear.
I don't know if it's the right thing or not, but she kisses me again and my brain jumbles. I'm a man, there's only so much thinking I can do, when all the blood has rushed down south. I take her by the hand, leading her upstairs to my room. My heart is beating so fucking fast. Fuck, I'm a man not a chick!
