by E. L. Todd
The guys took off after the game, so it was just Charlie and me. He’d had more beers than I had, either because his tolerance was somehow higher or he just didn’t care right now.
“You seem down.” I’d moved to the seat across from him once the guys left. Since the game was over, there was no point in looking at the TV anymore.
“What gave me away?” Charlie said sarcastically.
“I’m sorry, man.” It was unfortunate that I was happier than I’d ever been, but Carson and Charlie were dealing with this problem that weighed them both down.
He shook his head as he looked out the glass doors that showed the street. “I don’t know what to do. Most of the time, exes just can’t be friends, and I think Kat and I are an example of those kinds of exes. Losing her friendship permanently is a bit sad, but if she feels as strongly as she does…maybe it is best if we go our separate ways. I want her to find someone she really loves and be happy. But I really don’t want Carson to lose her too. It wasn’t her fault.”
I thought Carson got the short stick in this cruel game. No matter what she did, she had her loyalty pulled in three different directions, every single person expecting something from her. Of course she couldn’t live up to everyone’s assumptions. She was a victim of a problem that was bigger than herself.
“And now Kat isn’t seeing Nathan anymore… That’s not a good sign.”
“No.”
He brought his beer to his lips. “We’re all fucked.” He took a drink. “How can I go after Denise when I’m in such a bad mood? I’ve wanted this for so long, and now it doesn’t feel right.”
“Because you feel guilty about Kat?”
“I guess I feel guilty about everything…” Charlie looked past me to the TV behind me. “I wish I had just stayed committed to Kat. Honestly, we were really happy. I wish Denise didn’t affect me the way she does. My life would be far less complicated if that had never happened.”
“Yeah, life can be cruel sometimes.”
“You’re telling me.”
I didn’t see Charlie as just Carson’s friend, but my friend as well, and as years went by, I hoped we would become closer. That made me want to help him as much as I could. “What if you talked to Kat yourself?”
His eyes came back to me.
“You probably can’t smooth over your problems with her, but maybe you can fix the situation between Kat and Carson. That’s all you really care about, right?”
He nodded. “I just have a feeling she never wants to see me again.”
Finding out most of your relationship was a complete lie would make anyone pull away.
“If I do that, I still need to wait a while. Let her cool off for a bit.”
“Yeah, maybe you should.”
He finished the last of his beer then glanced at the bar like he might order another, but something changed his mind. He left the empty bottle on the table. “Carson is finally happy with you, and I’m overshadowing it with my drama. I’ve wanted her to feel better for a long time now, and it finally happens, and then this shit goes down…”
“It’ll get better.” Carson hadn’t been the same since all of this happened, and I missed the way it was the first weekend we’d had together in my penthouse. It was a dream, having her beside me all night, watching her want to stay with me instead of darting for the door right after sex or first thing in the morning. It was what I’d wanted since the beginning, to really be with her, to be happy.
“Yeah… I hope so.”
“And she and I have the rest of our lives, so if it takes a while for this to resolve, that’s fine.”
He lifted his gaze and looked at me. “The rest of our lives? Look, don’t get ahead of yourself like last time. Don’t push anything too heavy. Just live in the moment with her and let her steer the ship.”
My eyes narrowed. “She and I are in the same place, man.” When I’d said those three little words to her, I was taking a huge risk. I knew it was more likely that it would scare her off instead of bring her closer, but she accepted those words with tears…and said them back. So I didn’t know why Charlie had any doubts that Carson was ready to be in this relationship completely.
“She said that?” he asked incredulously.
My eyebrows rose in surprise because it seemed like he had no idea the feelings we had exchanged. I hadn’t said it again and neither had she, but I suspected we would be one of those couples that only said it once in a while, not every time we got off the phone or departed from a room. She told him everything, but he seemed to have no idea about this. “I told her I loved her…she said it back.”
His eyes snapped wide open like he couldn’t believe the news. “Really? Carson?” Then his eyes narrowed in suspicion, and he rubbed his palm across his jawline. “That really happened?”
“Why would I lie about something like that?”
“I don’t know. You lied about being a billionaire, so…”
I released a quiet chuckle because I would never live that down. “Yes. It happened the night we left the bar. She came over…and I told her.” I wouldn’t give him all the details because the intimacy was just for me. “She said it back. Rest is history.”
Charlie was speechless now.
“She didn’t tell you.” For someone like Carson, who confided everything in this person, I was surprised she hadn’t shared such a big moment with him.
He shook his head.
Maybe she thought it was just for us. Maybe we were so special she didn’t want to share us with anyone else. I decided not to jump to conclusions and take it as a compliment.
“Well, I’m really happy for both of you. I mean, I never thought Carson would get to this place, and it makes me happy that she has. Maybe someday, it can be the four of us…”
“Yeah. Maybe.”
6
Dax
I’d become indifferent to Rose. I didn’t spend my free time thinking about her. I never looked back and reflected on the relationship, second-guessing my decisions and mourning my mistakes. I made my peace with it and moved forward.
But whenever we were in the same room together…I hated her.
I really hated her.
I walked into the conference room and saw her sitting there with her lawyer at her side. Her blond hair was in soft curls over one shoulder, and she wore designer clothing she didn’t pay for. She even had a level of pretentiousness she didn’t earn, snobby like some trust-fund baby, when her beginnings were humble.
I was the one who gave her everything.
Without me, she’d be nothing.
Before we married, she was a regular person, working at a coffee shop for minimum wage.
When I’d asked her out, she took advantage of the opportunity—and ran with it.
Even if I could prove in a court of law that our entire relationship was a sham because she was an opportunistic parasite, it wouldn’t change anything.
I didn’t get that fucking prenup.
I took a seat across from her, beside Renee, along with a few other executives who worked at the company. We were going over quarterly figures.
That was why Rose was there.
She wanted to know what her paycheck was.
Splitting my income with her wasn’t the worst part. Letting her take a piece of my family’s legacy…that was what hurt.
We handed out the files and went over the numbers, business as usual.
I barely looked at her.
Whenever her stupid voice entered the conversation, I focused on the one thing that could calm me down.
Carson.
“It looks like you’re spending a lot of money on research, doubling your budget from last month.” Rose looked over the paperwork, acting like an executive even though she had no business experience at all. “I’m not sure if I approve of that.”
Renee kept her head down and released a suppressed sigh, swallowing her insults because it would get us nowhere.
I steadied my anger and spoke. �
��We have to keep reinventing our company if we want to survive another generation. Companies that just sit back and do nothing never last. I assume that’s the last thing you want…since you have nothing else.”
She turned her blue eyes on me, her plump lips outlined with a racy color of lipstick. There was no guilt in her look, no second-guessing. She didn’t give a damn what she did to me.
She owned it.
When the meeting was finished, she rose to her feet and strutted out. Her spike heels echoed against the hard floor as she walked out, her head held high as if she’d built this company from the ground up.
“Sometimes I want to jump over the table and break her neck.” Renee put her papers in her folders, a bit of redness to her cheeks from her anger.
“Yeah…I know the feeling.”
7
Dax
I sat on the couch in front of the TV and nursed my scotch. I usually went for a run after work, but today, I totally ditched the obligation because I just wanted to sulk in silence.
Carson texted me. I had to stay late at the office today, so I’m just leaving now. Dinner?
I wasn’t in the mood to do anything right now. But I didn’t want to push her away, do anything to jeopardize what we finally had. I already ate. But you’re welcome to come over.
Alright. I’m picking up Chinese.
See you soon.
Thirty minutes later, my elevator beeped quietly before the doors opened, revealing Carson on the other side, wearing skinny jeans and green booties with a black sweater on top. A plastic bag of takeout was in her hand. “Hey, babe.”
Did she just call me babe? “Hey, sweetheart.” I got to my feet so I could greet her properly instead of letting my sour mood destroy the energy in the room.
Besides, it seemed like my night just got better.
My arms wrapped around her small waist, and I leaned down and gave her a kiss.
I was shirtless and in just my sweatpants, so her hand groped me dramatically without apology.
I smiled against her lips, letting her know I liked it when she made me feel desirable, made me feel I was worthy of her. I knew I was attractive, but I rarely got compliments from women, maybe because they thought my qualities were obvious and should go unsaid. But beautiful women liked to be complimented, and the same applied to men.
“I know you said you weren’t hungry, but I got some extra spring rolls if you change your mind.” She stepped back and shook the bag, the plastic film making a shimmering sound.
It was hard not to smile. “Thanks for thinking of me.”
She carried the bag to the dining table behind the TV and ripped it open. “I’m sorry, but I’m starving.” She went to the kitchen and grabbed a fork and then took a seat so she could eat her chow mein and sweet-and-sour chicken.
I grabbed my glass of scotch and took the seat beside her. I watched her devour her food, quickly shoveling it into her mouth like she hadn’t eaten in days. “How was your day?”
It took a long time for her to give a response because there was always food in her mouth. “I’ve been doing a lot of surveillance today. Basically, stalking my prey.”
“Who’s the prey?”
“Pharmaceutical company that I can’t name. I have information that they’re purposely changing the concentrations of their drugs to make people sick. I’ve got to figure out what I’m going to threaten them with.” She stabbed her fork into the food again and took a few more bites.
Her profession would always be difficult for me, knowing she was rattling cages and pissing off people she should avoid. It would always make me worry about her. There were times when I wanted to ask her to step aside for me, but I knew it would just make me lose her. If I wanted to keep her, I’d have to accept this part of her life. “And you’ve narrowed down your targets?”
“Yep.” She dipped her spring roll into her dipping sauce and took a bite, the crunch audible. “How was your day?”
I shrugged. “Not my best day…”
“What happened?” She stopped eating like it was a limited-time buffet and gave me more of her attention, her eyes showing her sincere interest.
I shook my head. “Doesn’t matter. Just wasn’t good.” I didn’t want to spend time talking about my ex-wife, not when I was with the woman I should’ve been with in the first place. I used to believe everything happened for a reason, but now, I wasn’t sure. What could possibly be the reason for me to marry someone who just used me? To make me so paranoid that I created a fake life to lie to Carson? It seemed like a lot of work.
“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. But I’m always happy to listen…if you change your mind.”
That gave me a change of heart. If I wanted her to be open with me, I had to reciprocate. It wasn’t that I felt uneasy sharing my life with her; I just didn’t want to dampen what we had by talking about a woman who already took up enough of my time. “I had a meeting today at work, and she was there. She always brings her lawyer to these things, and her only interest is determining what her paycheck is for the quarter. She doesn’t even have the class not to make it obvious. She questions my business decisions whenever it decreases her revenue, and I actually have to justify what I’m doing…to her.”
Carson was silent as she continued to look at me, clearly searching for something comforting to say. She obviously didn’t find anything because her only response was silence.
I looked out the window in front of us, seeing the city lights become brighter as the night intensified.
Her hand went to mine on the table, and her small fingers caressed my skin. “I’m sorry. I can’t even imagine…”
“Yeah. Fucking sucks.”
“But you don’t have to see her a lot, right?”
I shook my head. “Thankfully.”
She turned in her seat altogether, her knees hitting my chair. Her fingers remained in mine, her gentle pulse vibrating against my hand. “There’s really nothing you can do?”
“Besides murder? No.”
“I could beat her ass for you…if you want.”
That immediately made me smile, not because I would actually ask her to do it, but I could clearly picture that scenario. Rose would step out of the building, and Carson would beat her ass right on the sidewalk. “No, it’s okay.”
“Offer is always on the table.”
“No doubt.” I turned my gaze away from the window and looked at her face, her glowing eyes. “I don’t want to talk about her anymore. I’d rather spend all my time thinking about you.”
“I’m not sure you want to do that.”
“Why?”
“Well, if you think about me all the time, you’re gonna be walking around with a big-ass boner, twenty-four seven.”
That made me burst with a chuckle, and it made me immediately snap out of my bad mood too. “That’s a valid point.”
A beautiful smile formed on her face, like my happiness increased her own.
This was a new side to her that I wasn’t used to quite yet. She’d always been beautiful, always been exceptional since the moment I’d laid eyes on her, but the softness was just exquisite. Her eyes were no longer guarded, her lips were always ready for my kiss, and she looked at me with her heart on her sleeve, like I was the only man she wanted to give herself to.
How did I get so lucky?
I knew it was a hard road to get here, but it was worth it every step of the way.
When my stare lingered for a long time, she asked, “What?”
I brought her hand to my lips and kissed her knuckles. “Nothing.” I moved her hand back to the table and continued to hold it.
I hadn’t been looking for anything serious before this. If I’d never met her, maybe I always would’ve felt that way. But listening to her tell off that guy in the bar the night we met made me connect with her emotionally before even seeing her. I respected her fire, respected her for using it against an opponent. She was the kind of woman I’d been looking
for without even knowing it. I hadn’t even been divorced for a year then, but I felt like I was already ready for something great. “I’m just…in love with you.”
She stilled at the admission, but she wasn’t afraid, just deeply touched by the unexpected confession.
I didn’t miss the one-night stands. I didn’t miss the strip clubs. I didn’t miss being single. I was never as happy then as I was now. Finding one incredible woman to be committed to with my entire soul was nirvana.
“I’m in love with you.” She glanced down at our joined hands before she gave me a squeeze and looked back up, her eyes so soft and gentle.
I could stare at that beautiful face forever, look into those green eyes and never get bored. I pitied anyone who didn’t have this. I actually pitied Rose because she was too evil to ever find this. She had half my money—but she didn’t have this.
Her hand cupped my neck, her fingers reaching into my hair. With her brown hair all over the place underneath her, she looked up at me with eyes bright like Christmas ornaments. When we were together, it wasn’t about getting off, about only good sex, it was about being together, so her eyes were always on me, always soft, always pulling me directly into her heart.
Her legs were wrapped around my waist, ankles locked together against my lower back, and I slowly rocked into her, felt her so intimately that I could map out her body with my mind. She was always ready for me, always tight, always anxious. I breathed deeply with her, sometimes dipping my neck so I could kiss her collarbone or her shoulder. When we made love, I didn’t just want her lips. I wanted her soft skin, her deep breaths, her bright eyes. My tongue wanted to taste her everywhere. I wanted to feel her heartbeat against my chest and have her feel mine.
I’d never felt more alive than when we were close like this, our bodies slowly moving together, high off the connection between our souls rather than the lust between our flesh.
