by E. L. Todd
I turned away and stepped into the elevator with my friends. I stood in the middle and faced Dax, looking at him for the last time.
Charlie placed his hand on my arm, telling me he was there.
The doors closed.
And that was it.
We were over.
24
Carson
My bedroom furniture was still in the apartment, so I went to sleep like nothing had changed.
Charlie sat with me for a while at the end of the bed, but he didn’t try to engage in a lengthy conversation, knowing I just wanted to lie there in silence.
When he left and turned off the light, I went straight to sleep.
Like I had no energy.
When I woke up the next day, I moved like a zombie. I threw my clothes in the dryer to de-wrinkle them and put them back on so I could wear them to the office.
If anyone noticed I was wearing the same clothes as yesterday, they probably wouldn’t say anything.
And if they did, I’d tell them to fuck off.
I made myself a mug of coffee at the kitchen counter and took a drink, my eyes still puffy from crying the night before.
Charlie made scrambled eggs on the stove and dished them onto a plate before he handed it to me.
“I’m not hungry.”
Charlie turned off the stove and made a plate for himself. “You’re still going to the office today?”
“Yeah.” I stared out the window over the sink and looked at the city outside.
“You have a lot of sick days built up. You don’t want to use one?”
“No.”
He pulled out a fork from the drawer and dug it into his eggs so he could take a bite.
“Is it okay if I move back in?”
His chewing slowed, and he looked at me incredulously, like it was a stupid question. “Always.”
I took another drink from my mug and then poured it into the sink because I had to get going.
“But are you sure about this?”
I nodded. “If a relationship is hard now, it won’t get easier. I’ve been divorced once. I’m not going to do it again.”
Charlie continued to stare at me, not giving his two cents on the matter. “All right.”
“Relationships aren’t always easy. Sometimes they take hard work. It’s not always butterflies in your stomach kind of happiness. But I feel like Dax and I have been overrun with problems since the moment we met, and all those problems come from his billionaire status. Money makes things complicated. I just don’t need anything more complicated in my life.”
He nodded.
“Instead of just being in love, we’ll always be dictated by his money. He had no idea how shitty it felt to walk into his conference room and have those suits staring at me like I was the enemy.”
“Yeah. It was pretty shitty.”
“I thought it would just be Dax and a lawyer, and we would just go over the paperwork. Casual. Transparent. But I walked in there, and it was really clear I wasn’t entitled to information about my own marriage. I was in no place to negotiate, and they knew that. So, it was either sign it…or we don’t trust you. It is not a good way to start a marriage.”
He agreed. “No, it’s not.” He set his plate and fork down like he’d lost his appetite because of our conversation. “I think Dax is a good guy, and he has nothing but good intentions. But when you marry somebody, you don’t just marry them but everything they’re associated with. So that’s the kind of life you’ll have to live, with someone who is guarded about their wealth, where their money is a liability more than an asset.”
“Exactly.”
“And you’ll always be an outsider because of it. I wonder if he passed away if you would get anything at all or if everything would go to Renee or your children. Are you always prohibited from gaining any of his assets? Those are really important questions to ask, and it’s unacceptable that this wasn’t a conversation prior to your being asked to sign the contracts.”
I’d really expected Charlie to try to talk me into going back to Dax, and it was a relief that he saw my point of view. As journalists, we had to deal with rich people all the time, write articles about their wealth and inheritances. We understood exactly how these things worked. I knew what I’d signed up for with Dax, but I didn’t expect him to go about it in such a disrespectful way. “Thanks.”
He sighed deeply and crossed his arms over his chest. “Want to watch a movie after work? We can order pizza or something.”
I smiled at the offer. “You don’t have to hang out with me, Charlie. I’m sure you’re eager to spend time with Denise since you just got together.”
“Bros before hoes, right?”
I chuckled. “There’re a lot of offensive things in that sentence.”
“Why do you think I said it?” He grabbed his mug and took another drink before he poured it out in the sink.
“Why don’t you invite her over too? I don’t mind hanging out with both of you.”
“You’re sure?”
“Of course. She’s my sister. Just don’t have obnoxiously loud sex after work.”
He gave me a thumbs-up. “You got it.”
I knocked on his open door before I stepped inside his office. “Can I talk to you for a second?”
Vince looked up from his phone and set it down on his desk. “What’s up?”
“My life plans have changed. Can I get the Simon Prescott article back?”
He turned slightly in his chair as he stared at me. “Everything alright?”
“My fiancé and I broke up. So, not really.” I fell into the armchair in front of his desk and kept a stoic expression, brushing off the news like it didn’t affect me as much as it really did. “But it will be alright…eventually.”
Vince stared at me through his glasses, taking his time before he found a response. “I’m sorry to hear that, Carson. You seemed happy.”
“Well, happiness is only temporary…just as sadness is.”
“Ordinarily, I would say no to your request, but Arthur just dropped the article, and I don’t have the time to bring someone else up to speed. It’s yours.”
My eyebrow cocked. “Why’d he drop the article?”
“His dad had a stroke back in Ohio. Needs to take medical leave.”
“Oh, that’s terrible.”
“Yeah,” he said with a shrug. “So, get back on it. And try to hustle. We’ve lost a lot of time switching hands so many times.”
Kat sat across from me in the bar, her finger on the straw that extended out of her fruity drink. “I’m sorry, girl.”
“I know.” I sat with my elbows on the table and my eyes on the surface, my hands digging into my hair. “I’m just happy that you’re here with me, that we’re talking about boys the way we used to.”
The corner of her mouth rose in a slight smile. “There’s the silver lining.”
“I got my article back.”
“The one Dax asked you to give up?”
I nodded. “I changed my career plans for him, and now that he’s gone, I’m going back to my old life. It’s ironic that he asked me to give up my dream, then served me a bunch of paperwork that required me to give up god knows what.”
“Yeah, it’s rough. But are you sure this is what you want?”
“What I want?” I asked in surprise. “No, I don’t want to lose Dax. I loved that man. I couldn’t sleep last night because he wasn’t there, and I’m used to him being there. But if a relationship isn’t right in the beginning, it’s not going to be right later. I should have just stayed away after he lied.”
“Maybe…”
Every relationship I had seemed to be a huge mistake. That was why I’d now decided to stay away from relationships altogether. The high wasn’t worth the fall—not by a long shot.
“Has he tried to talk to you?”
I shook my head. “He knows it’s over.” Even if he was innocent in the whole thing, he knew his world was so different from
mine that it would always divide us. He could never really let me in because of everything that had happened, and I wouldn’t let him in ever again.
“Maybe we should just get together and be done with it.”
I raised my glass from the table. “I’ll drink to that.”
25
Dax
It was an out-of-body experience.
I was so devastated that I didn’t know how to behave.
Everything unfolded in front of my eyes, getting worse and worse, as I watched her pull away more and more. It was like a horror film, losing the love of my life. And when the ending finally arrived, I knew there was nothing I could do to stop it.
So I let her go.
There would always be obstacles between us because of my wealth. There would always be a fine line between us—my family’s wealth and then her. I would always have one foot on each side of the line, unable to fully give myself to a single person.
It sucked.
I didn’t go to work the next day. I kept up with things through my laptop but never got out of my pajamas. I didn’t shower or brush my teeth.
Whatever.
By the end of the day, Renee texted me. Everything okay?
Just had stuff to do at home today.
Are you sure? Because you never don’t come in.
I said I’m fine. I resented my sister because she was responsible for all of this, but I also didn’t blame her. She was just protecting her own interests, which were unfortunately attached to the decisions I’d made. I’ll see you later.
I sat at the table and looked out the window, watching the sun fade and darkness spread over the city. I had nowhere to go. I had no purpose. Carson had been the most important person in my life, and she’d just walked away.
I didn’t go after her because it was pointless.
There was no hope this time.
She was right. It was too complicated, and I didn’t handle everything well. I should have been more involved instead of letting my sister take charge. The only reason I was so clinical about the whole thing was because I didn’t want to be involved at all. The assets didn’t matter to me. But from Carson’s point of view, it did look like an attack.
It did look like she didn’t matter.
I grabbed my phone again and texted Charlie. How is she?
The three dots came and went, like he wrote a message, deleted it, wrote it again, went back and forth because he didn’t know what to do. I’m sorry it didn’t work out between you guys because you were great together, but I’m Carson’s best friend and I don’t think we should talk anymore. Take care, man.
I got dumped again, this time by her friends, and that hurt just as much.
Because they had become my friends.
My family.
The next few days were lifeless.
I went to work but didn’t give a damn about what I was doing.
The company could burn to the ground for all I cared.
The idea of having to go out and meet someone new at some point sounded like torture. I’d already found exactly what I wanted for the rest of my life, and I didn’t want to move on. I didn’t want to lose that. I just wanted it back.
I went to work then went home, scrounging for food in the fridge instead of cooking like I usually did. Scotch became my best friend.
My only friend.
My phone lit up with a text from Charlie. I’m outside your building. Do you mind if I come up and grab her stuff?
Living with her shit was the worst part. Her clothes were still on the floor, and I didn’t touch them. Her beauty products were still on the counter in my bathroom. I wanted them to disappear so I could go back to my lonely existence, but the idea of her stuff being gone forever seemed like another version of goodbye. Sure.
Be up in a sec.
I stayed on the couch in my sweatpants, rocking a full beard because I’d stopped shaving. The game was on, and my glass of scotch was never empty, no matter how much I drank.
Minutes later, the elevator beeped, the doors opened, and Charlie stepped into the living room. He took a quick scan then settled his gaze on me. For a brief moment, he wore a look of pity, like he could see my struggle in just a simple look.
I dragged my hands down my face before I stood up. “Need help?”
“Matt has the van downstairs.”
“Is she with you?”
He shook his head.
“Then I’ll help you.”
Charlie didn’t decline the offer, and together, we went into my bedroom and placed her clothes into boxes. We worked in silence, packing up her entire essence like she’d never been there in the first place.
I finished one box and set it on the edge of my bed. “How is she?”
Charlie dropped her beauty products into a box, and they thudded when they hit the hard surface below. “She’s fine.”
“Fine like me, or actually fine?”
He shrugged. “It’s a tie.”
At least I wasn’t alone in my sorrow.
She’d left her engagement ring on my coffee table, and I hadn’t touched it. What the hell was I supposed to do with it? Put it in my nightstand? Every time I looked at it, it would just hurt. I wanted her to take it back, because it was a gift that showed my love, which was eternal. But she never would. “You think there’s any chance for us?”
He lifted the box then carried it to the edge of the bed, rarely making eye contact with me, like he wanted to keep me at a physical and emotional distance. “No.”
“Look, my sister was the one in charge of all that—”
“I’m not part of this, Dax. She made her decision, and I understand why she made that decision.”
Her best friend wasn’t on my side, and now I really had no chance. “But I went to you first and asked for your advice. You know I never wanted to do that prenup in the first place. You know that.”
“Yes, I do know that.”
“Then tell her,” I snapped.
He picked up the box but then decided to put it back down because this conversation couldn’t be prevented. “Everything that happened before and after that meeting is moot. She walked into a room with a shit-ton of lawyers and got her ass handed to her. That was how you decided to start that marriage. That’s the dividing line.”
I shook my head. “That’s not how I decided to start it, okay? I didn’t want it to be that way.”
“Blame it on your sister all you want, but all you had to do was move to the other side of that table. But you didn’t. You act like that money means nothing to you, but you’re full of shit. You know you are.”
“I’m not full of shit. The money has brought me nothing but misery and only made me lonely. What I do care about is my family’s legacy, for the work and dedication of my father and his father. If I didn’t try to protect that, what kind of man would I be? It’s easy for your guys to see it the way you do because you have no idea what it’s like.”
He picked up the box then gave me a long, cold stare. “And you have no idea what it’s like to be sitting across that table, to be pushed around because you only have a few dollars to your name.” He turned to walk out. “To be treated like shit by yet another rich person…”
I watched him go and felt the concrete slab land in my stomach.
Charlie carried the boxes outside then returned a few minutes later.
I had the ring in my hand and extended it to him. “Give this back to her.”
He eyed it but didn’t take it. “She gave it back to you because she doesn’t want it.”
“It was a gift. She can sell it if she wants—”
“Trust me, she wants nothing to do with it.” He turned away and kept walking.
I squeezed the ring in my fist as I sighed deeply. Then I opened a random drawer in the kitchen I never used and dropped it inside since I would hardly ever see it there. Then I grabbed another box and helped Charlie carry it downstairs, where Matt was organizing things in the back.
&n
bsp; Matt stilled when he saw me. “Hey, Dax.” He hopped out of the van and landed on the sidewalk.
“Hey, man.” We didn’t greet each other with a handshake like we used to. “How are you?”
He shrugged. “Times are weird right now.”
Charlie walked back inside to get more boxes, like he wanted to get this over with as soon as possible.
I thought I might get more information out of Matt. “How is she?”
He slid his hands into his front pockets and gave a shrug. “You know, throwing herself back into work like usual.”
I knew exactly how she was, choosing to mask her pain by working crazy hours and hooking up with random guys. I tried not to think about it. Otherwise, I would never get out of bed again. “She’s taking on more assignments?”
“She asked for her old job back, actually.”
My heart stopped beating—literally.
Matt rubbed the back of his neck then looked at the door, waiting for Charlie to come back.
I was even more horrified than I was before. The breakup was hard enough to handle, but knowing she put herself back into the line of fire was sickening. The thought hadn’t even crossed my mind. I thought once she stepped down, someone else filled that spot and she wouldn’t be able to go backward.
Matt studied me for a bit, like he knew the blood was draining from all my extremities. “You okay, man?”
“No…I’m not.”
“You’ve been avoiding me all week.” Renee walked into my office even though my assistant tried to prevent her from stepping into my space. “What is your deal?”
Since the damage had been done, my assistant gave up.
Renee walked across the large room, her heels tapping against the hardwood. “Dax?”
I stared at her coldly, putting all the blame for my failed relationship on her shoulders. “Carson left me.”
She stilled at the edge of my desk, sincere pain moving into her eyes. “What happened?”
“What happened?” I said it with a slight chuckle, a dark tone that defied my laughter. I rose to my feet because I couldn’t sit anymore. “She came in to sign a prenup but ended up in the court of law. Were two thousand papers really necessary?”
