Tightening the Knot

by Amanda Hamm

  “I don’t know. It sort of feels like Greg and I have other problems to deal with now first. I just wish he wasn’t so stubborn about it.”

  “Well, no offense, but aren’t you being just as stubborn?”

  Meredith gave a guilty nod. “But he’s a guy. Women are supposed to have babies. We’re supposed to be made that way.”

  “I think, isn’t it supposed to be kind of manly to get your wife pregnant? Maybe he could be afraid of finding a problem as much as you are.”

  “I really hadn’t… I guess I just thought there were more things that could be wrong with me so his part would be simple, but… This whole thing is just, it’s not something I ever expected. I don’t know how to deal with it.” She dabbed away the last bit of tears and took a deep, steadying breath. “How did you get to have so much insight into men by the way?”

  “Well…” Jenna winked at her friend. “I do watch a lot of chick flicks.”

  Meredith smiled in spite of her swollen eyes. It really did feel good to let go for a moment, though she still would have preferred a different venue. Somehow, she felt more hopeful even though nothing had really changed. At the very least though, she felt ready to get that last present crossed off her shopping list.

  ╣ Chapter 14 ╠

  “Do we have any peroxide?”

  “What!?” Meredith answered a call from Greg while still walking up their driveway. Jenna had just dropped her off from the shopping trip.

  “Hydrogen peroxide. Do we have any?”

  “I think there’s some under the sink. What are you doing?”

  “Under the sink? This stupid dog!”

  Meredith was bewildered by this conversation she seemed to have joined in progress. “Hang on, I’m right outside.”

  “Wait! Don’t come in!”

  His urgency stunned her and she froze on the porch. A few seconds later, Greg opened the door for her with his other hand firmly on Katie’s collar. “I am not chasing her again.”

  When the door was closed, Greg let go of the dog and they put their phones away. Meredith followed Greg into the kitchen and saw that he had found some peroxide and was now trying to stick a turkey baster into the bottle.

  “What are you doing?” she asked again.

  “That stupid dog. Stupid, stupid dog. She ate the batteries!”

  “Batteries?”

  Greg got down a bowl and poured some peroxide into it as he explained. “I was changing the batteries in the remote and I put the old ones on the couch next to me while I was putting in the new ones and she ate them.”

  “The old ones or the new ones?”

  “The old ones. Does it matter?”

  “I… I have no idea. Is that dangerous?”

  “Well, it seemed like a bad thing to me so I found a vet in the yellow pages. They told me to make her drink about a tablespoon of peroxide. It’s supposed to make her vomit so we can retrieve the batteries. They suggested a turkey baster to do it so…” He gestured at his operation.

  “Okay. Should I, like, try to hold her or something?”

  “I don’t know. She might bite you if she doesn’t like it.”

  “You think so?”

  “What do I know about dogs? I feed them batteries. Let’s just see how this goes first.”

  Greg sucked just a bit of liquid into the baster and aimed it at Katie’s mouth. She evidently thought this looked like a fun game of tug-o-war and immediately grabbed it. Unfortunately, she grabbed it from the side so the end was not in her mouth. Then she gave a good tug. The baster separated, leaving Greg with just the bulb, while Katie dashed around the house with her prize. She crouched into a playful bow, daring them to chase her.

  Greg looked at Meredith. “Maybe we do need to hold her.”

  Meredith took a treat from the box on the counter and held it up where the dog could see it. Katie dropped her new toy and ran to her.

  “Okay.” Greg was planning the next attack. “I’ll hold her and you try to squirt it in her mouth.”

  Meredith nodded and got ready. But Katie would not stay still or open her mouth. They tried offering treats, but the dog always managed to close her mouth too fast for Meredith and the floor was starting to get slippery.

  “This just isn’t working.” Meredith put down the baster.

  “Do you think there’s any chance we could just put it in her dish?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, she eats washrags and batteries… maybe she’d willingly drink peroxide.”

  “I guess it couldn’t hurt to try.” Meredith squirted a bit into the dog’s dish and called her over. Katie lapped it up eagerly. “Now I feel pretty silly.”

  “Hey, at least you’re not the one who ate batteries.”

  Meredith laughed. She was only slightly concerned for the dog and already had the feeling this was going to make a good story, one that she and Greg could tell together. It was not exactly a romantic story, not by any stretch of the imagination, but it would still be something they would share. She loved making new memories, but her reverie was short. It was rudely interrupted by a horrible gagging sound. She turned quickly away. “I’m not watching; just tell me when you see batteries.”

  “Um… yeah, there they are. Wait, no! No, no, NO! I don’t believe this!”

  “What?” Meredith spun around to see Katie licking the floor.

  “She just ate them again.”

  “Ewww… again? That’s so gross.”

  “What do we do now?”

  Meredith shook her head. She didn’t need to answer because it was obvious that Katie was about to give up the batteries a second time. Greg quickly put the leash on her and pulled her away as the mess hit the floor. Meredith grabbed the leash. “Good idea. But this time I’ll hold her and you deal with that.” She pointed at the centerpiece of the less than delightful new memory.

  ╣ Chapter 15 ╠

  The story of the dog and the batteries went over well with Meredith’s family that night, even if it wasn’t terribly appropriate dinner conversation. She arrived home in good spirits and pulled the page from the church bulletin out of her bag, the one Jenna had given her over lunch. She couldn’t wait much longer to broach the subject with Greg and still have any hope of getting a reservation. But it felt funny to be holding the suggestion as he walked in, like she was waiting to pounce or something. There was no need to be overly aggressive.

  An idea struck and Meredith raced up the stairs. She put the page on the bed next to where she had taken off her church clothes, planning to “notice” it when they were getting ready for bed. She could mention it very casually. The sound of the garage door seeped through the floor, it could probably use some WD-40, and told her that Greg was home. Her stomach fluttered as though she was about to approach a cute boy at a party and she made it back to the living room just in time to meet him at the door. Immediately, she recognized the church bulletin in his left hand.

  “Hi.” He smiled at her.

  “Hey.”

  “That was a pretty good dinner, huh?”

  “Yeah.” Why were they both so stiff?

  “I can’t believe Ellie actually asked about your dress.”

  “Uh-huh. I’m starting to think she really doesn’t care and just wants to find a free dress.”

  “Well, if I remember right, wedding dresses aren’t cheap.”

  “True.” The bulletin was folded open. Had he gotten to the page with that ad?

  “Would it be weird if she wore yours?”

  “I don’t think so.”

  “Hmm… hang on a sec.” He unzipped his coat. They had both been standing in the middle of the room and he now moved to the closet to put the coat away. He held the bulletin in his teeth as he took it off. Meredith watched closely, wondering why he wouldn’t put that bulletin down. He fiddled with it for a moment, then brought it to the couch and sat down. “Can I talk to you about something?”

  He seemed to want Meredith to join him, but she
didn’t like where this was going. She hadn’t read the rest of the bulletin. What were the chances he was going to bring up something else? Or anything not related to the paper in his hands?

  Her heart sank as he put the familiar page into her lap. He pointed quickly and then began his speech. “I was hoping you’d like to go to this with me. We don’t have any plans for New Year’s and it might be fun to do something for a change. Now I know how you feel about marriage counseling and it does say marriage enrichment, but it’s not like therapy or anything. It’s just an excuse to do some things together. And we could use those dance lessons you made me take for our wedding. I mean, if I can remember anything.”

  Meredith sat quietly. This wasn’t right. It was the second time today someone had tried to convince her of the merits of this idea. But the point was for it to be her idea.

  “So what do you think?”

  “Umm…” What did she think? She hadn’t considered what it would be like to actually go to this event. Its promise had been in what it might mean for her to suggest it. And he had just taken that away from her. She wanted to stall to collect her thoughts. “It, uh, it says space is limited. Do we know if we could go?”

  “I already called, just to get some information, and the woman told me there was just one room left so I went ahead and booked it for us. We can still cancel so that doesn’t mean we have to go, but I thought it was best to take it, in case I could convince you.”

  Meredith felt cornered. She also felt suddenly useless. Making plans had always been a strength for her. Did she not make a plan for her classroom each day? And in that setting, she had no trouble adapting when things didn’t work out. When Aiden put a bead up his nose, she hadn’t panicked for a moment. Where was that kind of resiliency now? What did she think? While she was disappointed in not being able to suggest this, it did seem that agreeing to go could be a smaller, though still positive, step. And it wasn’t as though she could say no just so she could ask him later. But it was taking her an awfully long time to answer. It was going to seem like he was dragging her along. How helpful would that be? Hoping to salvage the situation, she finally blurted, “I’m just surprised because I was thinking of suggesting this myself.”

  “Oh?” He looked… What was that look? “So you’re okay if we go?”

  “Well, you already signed us up and everything.” That sounded snottier than she intended.

  “I said we could cancel.”

  “No, it’s fine.” Fine!? Fine was the answer of someone looking for a fight. She didn’t mean that kind of fine. “I mean good. It’ll be good.”

  “I’m not trying to make you do this.” It sounded like an argument, but his expression was more concerned than annoyed. Meredith looked into his amazing eyes and felt herself in danger of forgetting every fight they had ever had. She wanted to tell him how much she loved him and how she wanted more than anything to get through this rough patch. She wanted to say a lot of things and couldn’t figure out why any of it was so difficult. She sat silently and helplessly as he stood up. He spoke softly as he left the room. “The number is right there if you want to cancel. I’ll just leave it up to you.”

  Greg went upstairs and Meredith heard the shower running a few moments later. He didn’t usually shower before bed. Meredith took Katie outside and stood shivering in the backyard until her fingers were numb and she could think of nothing but the cold. The relief was welcome.

  ╣ Chapter 16 ╠

  Monday morning felt peculiarly like a Monday morning. Meredith was on vacation and it was Christmas Eve. There should not have been any reason to dread getting out of bed. In fact, the pitiful whining coming from the nearby crate should have made staying in bed pretty unattractive. But Meredith hadn’t slept well and she was having a little trouble rousing herself. She noticed the shower running in the next room. Greg had been still showering when she went to bed. She couldn’t believe he needed another already.

  Wait a minute! She sat up quickly in bed. Greg had been getting the dog up with him. Why was she still in her crate? Was it… it couldn’t be possible that the shower had been on all night. It would have kept her up. It was true she hadn’t slept well, but there had to be a more rational explanation. Dark thoughts began creeping into her head and she tried to push them away. A feeling that something was wrong here took hold of her and she could not shake it. She sat frozen in place trying to listen for movement from the bathroom. She couldn’t hear anything over the pathetic creature in the corner. Katie had gotten more excited when Meredith sat up and she was now pawing the bottom of her crate.

  While Meredith was not immune to the effects of Psycho, this was the first time her spine had tingled while listening to the shower from the outside. Her eyes focused on the light coming from under the door as she pushed back the covers and moved slowly toward it. Her hand closed on the knob. Katie was jumping up and down frantically in her crate, apparently oblivious to the bashing it gave her head. Then the eerie moment was shattered by the unmistakable sound of metal rings sliding on the shower rod as the water stopped.

  Meredith groaned at her overactive imagination before she walked over to release the dog, and swear her to secrecy. Katie was a willing confidant and her ears were so soft. Meredith felt some release as well and began to relax.

  “Oh, you’re up.” Greg had opened the bathroom door wrapped in a towel, a not at all unwelcome sight. She was feeling better and better. “Sorry about the whining,” he added. “After that battery incident, I wasn’t sure it’d be safe to let her roam the house while I was in the shower.”

  “That’s alright.” It was alright. It was perfectly rational. Why hadn’t she thought of that? And now that she was fully awake, she remembered that Greg had come to bed before she fell asleep. “I should be up anyway. Has she been out?”

  “Yeah. We got the paper, then I put her back in the crate.”

  “Okay. I better get started on breakfast.” Katie bounded down the steps ahead of Meredith, then back up to see what was taking so long, then back down again. She circled eagerly while Meredith prepared a coffee cake. It went into the oven about the same time Greg stepped out the door. He would be back with his mom one last time this visit. They were going to exchange gifts after breakfast and then Judy would leave for the airport by noon. She planned to spend Christmas Day with Greg’s sister.

  Meredith chopped some vegetables and cracked quite a few eggs. The omelets would start cooking once everyone was there so they’d be fresh. Then she went back upstairs to get dressed. Her red sweater was appropriate for the holiday. It was also a shade that looked fabulous on her. She noticed this as she checked herself in the mirror, and it occurred to her how she had been taking a little less care with her appearance lately. She paused to put in her diamond stud earrings, a gift from Greg two Christmases ago.

  A car door shut in the garage as she made it back to the kitchen and she was struck with an impulse. She dashed to the calendar on the wall and wrote “marriage thingy” on the 31st. That would show Greg that she was not backing out.

  As the door opened, she heard Greg yell, “NO!” and knew immediately that the dog had escaped again. She grabbed the leash and bag of treats off the counter and when she couldn’t find any footwear of her own, put her feet into Greg’s slippers before beginning her sprint down the street.

  The dog had stopped to sniff a tree just as Meredith caught sight of her. Greg was gaining on her. When she started running again, Meredith called her name and waved the package of treats wildly. Katie recognized what Meredith was offering and changed direction in mid-stride. She received her undeserved reward only after the leash was secure and when Greg caught up, the three of them walked back together.

  “She totally did an Indiana Jones under the garage door.”

  “Really?”

  “Well, it started going back up right away and everything, but it certainly gave her a head start. Like she needs one.”

  Meredith shook her head. “Stupid dog
.”

  “Yeah. I might be giving Mark an earful when he gets her back.”

  “He did warn you that she likes to run away.”

  “But he didn’t tell me how good at it she is. Or that she eats things.”

  “It has been interesting.”

  Breakfast was interesting as well. Meredith was distracted. She tried not to be. She tried to focus on the conversation, but her mind was formulating a new plan. Greg had noticed her addition to the calendar while he was setting the table. He added “check-in 3pm” and smiled at her. They were going to make the most of the event no matter who suggested it. And if Meredith could just get a minute alone with Greg, she was going to add her other part of the plan by letting him know it would be okay for him to hint at the baby trouble on the way to the airport. Judy was very helpful though, even when Meredith tried to insist she have a seat in the living room while they took care of the cleanup.

  Meredith found herself amused rather than frustrated by her mother-in-law’s constant presence. She wasn’t sure it even mattered that she couldn’t find the time to talk to Greg privately. They had not talked about the source of their trouble for months and the fact that she was not afraid to broach the subject was encouraging. It seemed there was nothing like not finding something traumatic in your bathroom to improve one’s perspective. She sat down to open presents feeling downright festive. When Judy opened the knitting book and skeins of yarn, she said she had been thinking of trying a new pattern and Meredith took this declaration at face value.

  Judy’s present to Meredith was wrapped in red and green plaid paper with a pile of curly ribbon on top. It felt like a book. Meredith carefully peeled off the bow and placed it next to her. Then she noticed Katie looking at it and moved it to a higher surface. The pretty paper came away to reveal a book called “Fertility, Cycles & Nutrition.” The hints never stopped. Meredith sighed, internally, and said, “Thank you.”

  “You don’t have that one already?”