By the time she finished telling the story, Sarah looked spent, her face weary and flush. She was waiting for me to respond, but my head was filled with questions and I was busy trying to connect the dots. Did Becky's immunity explain the look of bewilderment on the Swimmer's face when he held her in front of him? Had he sensed some kind of connection between them? Is that why he didn't attack her? Then I had another thought—I could be infected. But Raj had been around Becky for three weeks and he was fine. And I'd never seen Becky with any symptoms.
Sarah went on. "Do you see?" she asked me, seemingly flustered at my lack of a response. "It means Becky's immune. That's why we're going to 45th and Wasatch. Jorissen Pharmaceutical is there. It's a research facility. They've set up a lab to help develop a vaccine for the virus. They're looking for people who are immune. Maybe Becky can help."
Sarah's tears had subsided but her face was still red and wet.
"I see," I told her. "I understand." And I did understand why Sarah might want to keep Becky's infection a secret. I'm not sure how I would have reacted if I'd known Becky was infected. Still, they'd kept it from me. Then again, I'd kept my knowledge of the Swimmer from them. The only thing I was certain of was that none of this was Becky's fault.
I turned to Becky and stroked her back just below the nape of her neck to console her. "It's all right, Becky," I told her.
Becky turned, her face red and wet and smudged with tears. Her eyes had a dispirited look in them. "You're not mad at me?" she asked.
"No, sweetie. It's not your fault," I told her.
She reached over and hugged me. She accidentally knocked the steak off my thigh and looked up at me with a sheepish grin. I smiled and shrugged my shoulders, glad to be rid of it. She wrapped her arms around me and settled her head on my chest. She cried softly and I put my arm around her shoulders.
"Good. Now, Jake knows," Raj said, and he nodded, satisfied, as if everything had been set right, but the sadness was still there. I could see it in his eyes.
Sarah got up, grabbed the bag of peas and went back to the arm chair. She pulled her legs up onto the seat cushion and lay curled up sideways in the chair with her head resting softly in the crook of her arm, much the same way Alex had lain that day. She fit the bag of peas against her upper cheek and eye and stared across the room with her good eye, her face smooth and calm. I found it impossible to glean where she'd gone or what she was thinking. She was as distant and enigmatic as ever.
I wondered if the moment we'd held hands had ever actually occurred. It didn't feel that way now, though I could still recall the silky touch of Sarah's hand. The intimate moment had faded like a morning dream. I couldn't grasp it or hold onto it no matter how much I wanted to. Memories were like that—never quite the same as the root experience.
I knew the moment would never come back to me again in the same way. There'd been something unspoken between us, but the moment had passed by as quickly and carefree as a summer breeze. A part of me couldn't help but think that it was for the best.
Becky's soft sobs had turned into deep sleepful breaths. Her arms had dropped down on either side of me, but her head was still planted sideways on my chest and she was in deep slumber.
I noticed Sarah's good eye beginning to flutter dreamily. She would be asleep soon as well. The four of us were worn to a frazzle.
Raj sat stiffly in a meditative pose, staring into the void.
I sensed Sarah and Becky would be fine, but I worried about Raj. He looked troubled. I suspected his sadness had everything to do with the moment he failed to protect Sarah and Becky from the Swimmer. And I couldn't help but feel more connected to him because of it. His pain mirrored my own. I'm sure he wanted to see himself as Sarah and Becky's protector, their hero, much the same way I had seen myself as Alex's surrogate parent. But Raj never stood a chance. He was less of a Viking than me.
Raj's fears were centered around Sarah and Becky's perception of him. What they thought of him meant the world to him. That much was obvious. And while he may have been afraid of the Swimmer, terrified even, he was even more afraid of what Sarah and Becky thought of him.
My fears had carved their own path. I was afraid of failing them. If I failed them, it would be like failing Alex all over again, and I couldn't live with that.
And then there was my fear-based need to survive. The same fear that reared its ugly head the day I shot my brother. Its origin had arisen out of a neediness borne from my childhood; it pervaded my being and corroded my soul from within. It had been with me for as long as I could remember. I may have hidden it well from others, but I could feel the desperation lingering within me. I felt it now. But it had been that fear that had kept me alive all these weeks.
I knew my fears well. They were what drove me to act. They had driven me to go after Becky and the Swimmer today. And in a warped way that defied reason, my fears had become the fountainhead of my strength. The greatest difference between Raj and I was that I had found a way to act when I needed to, prompted by my fears.
Without disturbing Becky, I reached down with my free hand and removed the bag of mixed vegetables from my thigh. My thigh was red and numb as could be from the ice-cold vegetables.
Finally, I breathed a sigh of relief.
*****
After she'd awakened, Becky showed me the scar on her arm where her friend had bitten her. The scar was on her upper left arm, an area I'd seen her scratch. I figured her scar was the reason for the long-sleeved blouses Becky had been wearing. And I suspected her hiding the scar had been Sarah's idea. The scar was pink tissue now, smooth except for some small indentations where her friend's teeth had sunk into Becky's arm. It had healed well, but there would always be a scar there.
Becky told me how her mother had taken care of her and treated the bite wound. By that afternoon, they'd learned about the virus and the chaos at the local hospitals. Sarah used what was available to treat Becky.
Becky described how her mother cleaned the wound several times a day and used apple cider vinegar and salt to treat the area along with some herbs. Becky winced when she mentioned the vinegar and salt. She said it was like being stung by a hundred bees, and she got very animated when she talked about it.
Sarah also had used ice packs to help kill the bacteria in the wound. I was surprised about the ice pack idea. I'd never heard of it as a method for killing bacteria. But it made sense since bacteria thrives in warm temperatures.
It was then Becky told me that her mother worked at St. Mark's Hospital as a trauma room nurse. And the picture I had of Sarah began to crystallize. Not just because she'd nursed Becky's wound efficiently. But her being a trauma room nurse helped explain her calm demeanor at the underpass and afterwards. She'd been frightened when she first saw the infected on the side street, but she adjusted quickly.
I thought it a misstep that I hadn't thought to ask Sarah what she did for a living. I hadn't seen it as relevant to my getting them to their destination, or maybe I simply hadn't cared.
By late afternoon when everyone had awakened, we ate hearty meals. I broiled the T-bone at a low temperature to keep the steak from spitting too much. As always, I was worried about the noise. Becky and I ate our meal greedily. It was delicious and we were famished. We ate the mixed vegetables too. Sarah and Raj had some penne pasta with tomato basil sauce. Everyone seemed to be in a better mood, even Raj.
After we ate, I told them about the attic. I told them getting the attic ready as a hiding place was the smart thing to do. If something went wrong, the attic would keep us safe.
Raj and I collected enough supplies to last several days. I felt better knowing we had the attic prepared. We stashed bottled water, a couple flashlights, some non-perishable food stuffs, and a few blankets and pillows there. We even found some cardboard boxes in the garage and flattened them for something to sit on or lie on.
I told them we should go to sleep early and get an early start in the morning. We were only five to six blocks away from th
e facility, and if things went smoothly, we could be there in three to four hours.
I didn't like the idea of waiting.
That's when I began thinking about the Tundra. If there were relatively few infected out on the street, taking the Tundra made sense. The Tundra would be like a battering ram out on the street if need be. There weren't any busy intersections in the East Bench to worry about. And we were so close to the facility now. We could be there in a matter of minutes. I thought about leaving now since Fortuna Way was clear of the infected as far as I could see, but I knew they were too tired to respond well if anything went wrong. I needed them fresh and alert in case we had to abandon the truck.
I held off mentioning the Tundra to them. I didn't want to overload them with too many things to think about. It could wait till morning.
Sarah and Raj were sitting in the same arm chairs as before while Becky sat next to me on the couch. She was talking in hushed tones to Ralphy, warning him about the infected. Raj might have been feeling better, but his cheerful self had yet to make an appearance. His face was taut and serious and his eyes had a sharpness to them. He seemed more intensely alert than I had ever seen him. Sarah was her usual self save for her discolored face. The nap and the food seemed to have done her a world of good. The swelling below her eye had calmed down, and I didn't believe her eye would close all the way.
"We should sleep upstairs tonight," I told them. "If we have to hide in the attic, we don't want to have to climb the stairs if they're anywhere close by. We don't want them to hear us. That way we can get into the attic quicker too."
I began wondering how we would alert the people at Jorissen Pharmaceutical to open the door when we got there. I asked Sarah about her communications with them.
She told me she'd called them ten days ago in response to their call for anyone with an immunity to contact them. She said she'd spoken briefly to a Dr. Janice Nardone, the virologist in charge of the research.
"I texted them yesterday and told them we might be arriving as soon as tomorrow," she said. "I didn't tell them a specific time. We're supposed to text them to let them know the approximate time we'll be arriving. And then text them when we're ready for them to open the door. We'll be going in the back door of the facility."
"Okay," I told her. "Good." And I didn't see any reason to ask any more questions about it.
"What do you plan to do after we get there, Jake?" she asked.
I'd never said anything to them about where I was going, and they'd never asked. "I'm heading up into the mountains," I told her. "I have a cabin there." I almost said my brother and I have a cabin there, but I didn't want to have to explain about Alex.
Sarah looked briefly puzzled and the effort required to make the face caused her to grimace. Then she looked annoyed by the pain as if it were a petty nuisance.
"How will you survive there?" she asked.
"There's a stream nearby with plenty of fish and drinking water and there's some canned food there too." I paused and added, "I doubt there'll be any infected up in the mountains."
"Oh," she said.
*****
A little later, Raj asked me to accompany him upstairs. We went into one of the bedrooms and he closed the door as far as he could without shutting it.
Raj's face was tight, his expression grim. The same pain that had been in his eyes since we'd left the backyard where the Swimmer had taken Becky was still there.
"Jake," he stated resolutely. "I need a weapon."
I remained silent, not sure what to tell him.
"I will not die a coward," he told me, the timbre in his voice rising with each successive word.
"You're not going to die, Raj," I told him. I spoke as calmly as I could.
Raj's eyebrows were pinched together and the skin between them furrowed. He appeared conflicted. "My whole life, I have believed in non-violence. This is how I was raised." He was speaking nostalgically as if reminiscing. "Non-violence has always been the core of my spirituality. I believe we are all connected, all a part of each other, and that all life is sacred. All life."
But Raj's voice lacked conviction. He was struggling to reconcile his beliefs with the insanity the virus had wrought and he seemed lost in the effort.
"I cannot sit by and watch them be hurt. Not again."
He'd said it with utter determination.
"Maybe we can look around and find you something," I told him.
"We need to protect them, Jake," he said firmly. "We need to make sure they're safe. I do not know about guns, but I know I could hit the grays very hard if I had a bat like yours."
I had no idea if Raj's words were the stuff of false bravado or not, but I wasn't going to give him my bat. He needed something, but if a dangerous situation arose, I would need the bat. The Glock would always be a last resort. At the same time, I knew it would be best if Raj had some kind of weapon. I didn't know if he'd use it when the time came, but if he had something, at least he'd have the chance.
"Okay, Raj," I told him. "We'll find something."
He seemed satisfied for the moment, but there was something else on his mind. He looked at me awkwardly, then stared at his feet.
"I am sorry, Jake. I should not have made Sarah tell you about Becky. I did not do it for the proper reason, and I am very sorry." And he looked ill at ease and embarrassed.
I thought he should have been explaining it to Sarah rather than me, but I didn't say anything.
"Sarah is a very wonderful person, Jake. Very wonderful." He couldn't seem to look me in the eye and he said it with a deep sadness. "I know you will take very good care of them. I know you are a good man, Jake. They are going to need you now."
I knew what he was doing, or what he thought he was doing. Raj was stepping aside. But I had no interest in taking his place, whatever that entailed. I already felt responsible enough for them, and I didn't need anything more added to my plate. Where Sarah and Becky were concerned, my responsibility would end when I deposited them at Jorissen Pharmaceutical. But I couldn't tell Raj that. Not now. I needed to tread lightly. Raj wasn't himself and I knew how much Sarah and Becky meant to him.
"I'm sure Sarah and Becky will be just fine," I said softly.
But Raj hadn't heard a word I'd said. He was off in his own world. He shook his head emotively side to side as if he were frustrated. "Sarah always thinks she can do everything herself, but sometimes she needs help. She can be very stubborn, Jake," he said. "Yes. Very stubborn. There will be times you will need to be just as stubborn as she is." And he nodded his head in self-agreement.
Raj seemed to be feeding me information he thought I'd need to know in order to take care of them. He continued to stare at his feet, his head canted at a thoughtful angle. In a strange way, it was as if he were talking to me without being aware I was even in the room. "Becky needs you too," he said gently with a soft, compassionate tone. "She needs a good role model in her life after what happened with her father. I think I did the best I could." And then Raj locked his warm, dark eyes on mine, and I saw a flicker of the old Raj in them.
"You will take care of them, Jake?" he asked.
I couldn't possibly say no to him. "Yes, Raj. I'll take care of them."
And then he nodded, satisfied.
"I am a Hindu, Jake. When I die, my body must be purified by fire. That way I cut all ties with the physical body. This is a very sacred thing, Jake," he said quietly. "Very sacred. I am sorry, but you are the only one I can ask. Will you promise to burn my body, Jake?"
He said it as if his death were a foregone conclusion, but I wasn't going to let that happen. I couldn't. But I told him what he wanted to hear. "Yes, Raj. I will."
"Very good, Jake. Thank you. Thank you so much. I knew I could count on you." And he walked over and gave me a hug and clapped me affectionately on the back.
Chapter 16
Dead Silence
We found a mallet hammer in the garage and Raj seemed thrilled with it. It had a thick steel head
and looked like a mini-sledge hammer. If Raj could manage to hit the infected on the head with any kind of force, it would certainly kill them. He practiced swinging the hammer with a high overhead arc, using his long arms. Raj angled his swings to avoid hitting himself with his follow through. He held the hammer with both hands and his eyes grew big each time he swung the hammer. Each swing brought a muffled grunt that Raj did his best to stifle. The pain that had been evident in his eyes had been replaced by a wild-eyed look that would frighten anyone.
When he was finished practicing, he placed the steel mallet hammer in his backpack. I suspected he didn't want Sarah or Becky to see it. The hammer seemed too heavy to be carrying around in his backpack, but Raj was happy with it and that's all that mattered. Besides, if everything went as planned, we'd be driving and wouldn't need to be lugging the backpacks with us.
I settled in a young boy's bedroom upstairs and lay quietly on a twin-sized bed. A large window faced west, offering a spectacular view of the valley. I'd checked the view earlier and was struck by the idyllic beauty of the Salt Lake Valley. The valley was dense with lush green trees, and from the angled view I had, the trees appeared to hover over the homes like an emerald canopy.
The natural light in the room had faded with the evening's blue twilight. Darkness would arrive in less than an hour. For once, I didn't try to figure out what had happened to the people who'd lived here. I was too mentally and physically exhausted to expend any energy on it. Besides, I had my own dramas to deal with.
I lay on the bed and imagined everything going perfectly come morning. The way I pictured it in my mind, there were few if any infected out on the street. The street was quiet and peaceful like it might have been on an early Sunday morning before the virus hit. I imagined the four of us piling into the Tundra and driving quickly to the facility without incident. And when we arrived, we texted the virologists and they let us in the back door. Sarah and Becky and Raj were safe and I was free to go my own way. Everything unfolded just the way I'd imagined. But I knew it was pure fiction. The best-laid plans rarely unfolded without a hitch or two along the way.
Apocalypse Journeys (Book 1): Jacob's Odyssey Page 19
