by Alex Matsuo
This gentleman also went on to talk about how you can take a taser and zap ghosts into submission, just like a regular person. He also believed that you could engage in hand-to-hand combat with ghosts and that all ghost hunters should take martial arts as part of their training against them. And yes, he was serious. This only goes to show that you don't have to take everything at face value from other individuals in the paranormal. I also learned that perhaps there are experiences that are so common across the board, that they might be worthy of categorizing. Since meeting this individual, I have yet to meet someone with a similar theory.
CHAPTER TWO:
WHY DO GHOSTS HAUNT?
We really have no idea what the “rules” of the afterlife are. But as I suggested earlier, we have a lot of similar stories and afterlife lore from many cultures across thousands of years. One of the questions often asked is, why do ghosts haunt?
Family Reasons
I've often found in the case of residential cases that the household is experiencing some sort of strain. In several cases, I worked with couples where the wife was a stay-at-home mother while the husband worked long hours. This dynamic leaves the wife home with the activity for several hours each day. In some cases, the children are present as well, creating a protective tension for the mother. Meanwhile, the husband is off-site and doesn't know or understand what his spouse is going through. Ultimately, this can lead to arguments, as the two have a hard time seeing eye-to-eye on things. Depending on what kind of haunting they are dealing with it, this can generate fuel for the presence to continue to manifest. Ghosts and other entities feed off the energy, no matter if it's positive or negative. I often wonder if sometimes negative energy is stronger, or at least more volatile, which would explain why there might be a provocation for turmoil.
In a situation like this, not only is the wife being oppressed by an unseen presence, but her children are also experiencing the encounters. In anything but the simplest cases, this eventually results in poor sleep, changes in eating habits, and dropping grades for the child. If the child is small, a reluctance to sleep in their own bedroom, increased tantrums, bathroom accidents, and fear of the dark can happen.
I should point out here that we take these kinds of situations, and the inherent risk in residential investigations very seriously. I will discuss in a later chapter the kinds of things we ask before going on an investigation to ensure that the family members are safe.
When a family member’s behavior changes dramatically -- especially when it’s a child -- getting examined by a medical professional becomes the priority. We usually ask that the client speaks to their child's pediatrician and, in some cases, a mental health professional before we go on site. Once medical issues have been ruled out, we will take a case to see what we can find.
I think one of the most important things to note here is that a paranormal investigation should never be a replacement for medical attention. The team is not there to tell you that you can stop seeing your doctor or cease your medication regimen. If you ever work with a team who offers advice outside their scope -- whether it’s medical advice, mental health or legal advice, thank the team for their time and find a new one. Paranormal investigators can only speak to the paranormal activity and cannot give advice in any other arena.
From this perspective, you might think that the ghost is the evildoer in this situation. On the contrary, I've found that most hauntings manifest fear because of communication issues. Those scary footsteps you hear every morning at 3:00 a.m. may not be demonic. Instead, they might be residual energy from the previous owner who had to use the bathroom every morning at that time for 50 years. Or that voice of an old woman you hear? She's not trying to get you or terrorize you, she just wants you to notice her and acknowledge your presence. Of course, there are times where the presence may have malevolent purposes. However, I would say that 90% of the time is from bad communication. Sometimes, it takes a team, or even a medium, to sit down and play mediator between the clients and the entity. It's rather amazing at just how much work can be accomplished through a conversation.
They Don't Like Change
I had another client -- we'll call her Sandra -- in San Diego who had never encountered any paranormal activity in her home. That is until Sandra decided to flip her home and get it ready to put up for sale. This meant she was knocking down walls, hiring interior designers, contractors, and anyone else who could help her change her home. The activity first started as things being moved, mysterious footsteps upstairs, equipment being destroyed, and workers seeing a mysterious man dressed as though he was from the 1960s. Unsure of what to do, Sandra called in a team that initially told her she had an evil presence in the home. The client knew the entity was causing a lot of problems and she was fearful, but she didn't get an evil vibe from it.
Sandra eventually found me through another group; someone told her, "Alex is into that weird stuff." I was new to the field and had not yet started my team. This was the first time I had ever heard anyone say, "This thing is causing me problems, but I don't think it's evil."
Sandra was about my age and was relocating to Arizona for a fresh start. She mentioned that she lost faith in the other teams she worked with and wanted to work with someone independent. After our initial interview, I had the impression that whoever was haunting her home had been there a while and wasn't happy with the remodeling.
Turns out, Sandra inherited the home from her parents, who inherited it from her grandparents, who inherited it from her great-grandparents. After an investigation and working with a medium, we discovered that it was her great-grandfather who was causing the issues. He wasn't happy with Sandra not only selling the "family home,” but also that she was making so many changes to it.
On my recommendation, I told her to leave the plans for the remodel out overnight and ask her great-grandfather to look at them. Sandra started to include him in the remodeling process and even found a way for him to pick the new crown molding. The disruptive activity stopped completely. Sandra was able to get her house ready for sale, and she relocated with no further paranormal problems.
Fear of Punishment
One of the biggest questions in the paranormal field is that if ghosts are able to cross over to a better place, why don't they do it? For many, crossing over means going to heaven. But if a ghost didn't live a good life that was "morally correct" in their eyes, they may fear that hell is waiting for them. This could potentially be why so many negative spirits still stay around in this world. Whether they were thieves, abusers, liars, etc., these ghosts might fear that their day of judgment is coming and that crossing over means resigning to an eternity of damnation and suffering.
From numerous conversations with different psychic mediums who seem to be knowledgeable in what is in the spirit realm, the consensus is that hell, as we think of it, doesn’t exist. Instead, crossing over to that better place means that your transgressions are forgiven, and you're accepted. I can’t possibly know what the rules are when it comes to who gets to go to heaven or hell. But with American society so heavily Christian, it makes sense that a fear of hell is so common. I believe this is the reason why a lot of spirits in this area, especially those who committed heinous acts while they were alive, trap themselves to this Earth. I imagine for many, lingering is a sort of purgatory, allowing them to avoid judgment and punishment.
One thing we also have to consider are those who really didn't do anything bad in life, but society said that their lifestyle was wrong. These spirits may also be afraid to move on, given the messages they got from their communities in life. I would worry that this would be true, for example, for members of the LGBTQ community who were scolded and ridiculed for being "different," when they were really just living their truth. Perhaps, for those who were raised with strict religious standards, they think that their lifestyle was so sinful that surely God would send them to hell. The possibility of this thought process makes me especially sad.
I find that t
here are plenty of ghost hunters today who feel as though personal choices leave you "doomed" to be trapped at a certain location for the rest of eternity. Also, none of us really make the rules when it comes to how the afterlife works. I can see why a ghost might not want to cross over if they are too afraid of repercussions from the decisions they made while they were alive.
They Have a Connection to the Site
At the same time, I really hope that these spirits are not trapped in the location where they died, or they're attached to their corpse in some way. People will often assume that cemeteries are haunted because of the dead bodies. I often find that cemeteries are some of the most peaceful locations in the world. If they are haunted, then the spirits who reside at the ones I've visited are incredibly demure and low key. I want to believe that an afterlife is a place where a spirit can roam about the world and witness some of the most spectacular sites that this world has to offer. Others believe that our souls go into outer space...which is a rather interesting thought. Okay, maybe you need a tinfoil hat to really take that theory seriously!
I have encountered many reasons why a ghost may haunt a historical location. They may have had a personal connection to the site. They might have lived there, their loved ones lived there, or it was a place where they felt safe. I've also found that ghosts can haunt a location without having any sort of personal connection from when they were alive. They might have found the site appealing and decided to stay.
Haunted locations are in trouble. Because many of these buildings are old and worn, they may be unsafe for a proper investigation. Many owners these days, while having good intentions, are limited to the resources they can use when it comes to restoring and preserving a haunted location.
Historical locations that are government-funded will usually be cleaned on a regular basis as well as get a fresh coat of paint and the occasional repairs. In my experience, the privately-owned historical locations that engage in paranormal tourism are more likely to neglect their buildings. I can't tell you how many locations I've been to where the paint is peeling from the walls, and the property has graffiti, stained carpets, guano, mold, and much more. One location in Tennessee was closed down because of a dangerous amount of black mold. I suppose some people find the disarray of these locations appealing since it makes the place spookier.
However, I believe that if a location is truly haunted, you can clean up the place and the spirits will still find a way to communicate. To allow these historical places to fall to the wayside for the sake of preserving a certain aesthetic will eventually lead to the downfall of historic treasures.
The other question is what will happen to these ghosts should a location be torn down and destroyed? Will the activity remain when a new building is erected? Or will the ghosts leave, seeking some other place to haunt and try to communicate?
They Want Their Stories to Be Told
Some of the most vocal and active spirits I've encountered are those who want their stories to be told. Perhaps a fear worse than death, many of us fear the idea of being forgotten. For example, how many people lived during the American Revolution? Think about it, and then consider how many of them we actually remember? It seems that the only to get "immortality" is to become famous or memorable in some way. There are millions of people who have been forgotten. And yet, we wonder why there are so many hauntings all over the world? Once we are forgotten by future generations, is it possible that we cease to exist?
As humans, we are social creatures. Of course, personal preferences cause a lot of variations, but in general, humans live, survive, and thrive in groups. Generally, we crave a connection with other living beings. One of the reasons social media has become so popular is the opportunity to connect without the obligation of face-to-face interaction. Our connections are no longer constrained by being in the same place, and because we are leaving trails of information, we don’t even have to be interacting at the same time. For the most anxious person who is triggered by social situations, social media is the best of both worlds.
As I have gotten older, and more people I know and love are passing to the other side, I've started thinking more about how stories are told and forgotten. As I pass by the headstones of people lost, I read their names; I see the dates they were born and the dates they died; I pause on the famous dash of life. The simple little dash represents a life lived -- births, deaths, new jobs, friends, wars, accidents, romance, heartbreak, disappointments, and joys.
Walking through a cemetery, I am usually struck by all the people who didn't have the chance to live a full life. Lives may have been cut short due to disease, a tragedy, war, the list goes on. Yet, they still have a story to tell.
Unspoken stories of war also make their way into afterlife communication. The words that a soldier couldn't say in life seem to be easier to tell once the physical body is gone. I find these stories to be the most heartbreaking.
As I often say, all ghosts have a story to tell, and are you willing to listen?
Mission in the Afterlife
I am unsure where this section truly belongs in this book. I wouldn't call this situation "unfinished business," but more of a "call to action." Or, perhaps we can even call this a "mission in the afterlife,'' so to speak. This means that the person who died now wants to make sure that others don't suffer the same fate, make the same choices, deal with the same consequences, etc.
I've been to a few haunted places where ghosts have taken up a certain duty to protect a fellow ghost or the living. For example, the ladies' room at the Xoco Mexican restaurant in Raleigh, North Carolina, is known for being haunted. When women go in there, they feel like they're being watched. Things have happened include the door to their stall being shaken or an unsettling feeling that looms over them. Some investigators believe the haunting is one of the victims of the string of serial murders that took place in the area in 1996. However, my team and I believe that the man who died of a heart attack in the building decades earlier still remains. Perhaps he saw the murders happen when he was a ghost and felt so bad that he couldn't do anything, that he decided to stay and watch over the women who enter the building. This would explain why he chooses the bathroom, where one would feel especially vulnerable.
After my mother passed, one of my psychic medium friends told me that she didn't want to cross over because she wanted to stay with me until I passed. Granted, I didn't want to pass away for several more decades. The thought of my mom staying here on Earth saddened me, and I told her to go ahead and cross over. As mentioned before, I don't make the rules of the afterlife, but I've been told on several occasions that a ghost can come back once they've crossed over. I believe my mom protects me from unwanted paranormal activity, and since I haven’t had any lately, I believe she is still sticking around. Personal missions can contain very strong feelings, and they can give someone the motivation to stick around. One could put this in the "unfinished business" category, but it's not like they're trying to solve a mystery or send a message. I almost want to think of these entities like some sort of vigilantes who want to make the world a better place even though they are in the afterlife.
I have also run into hauntings where a ghost sticks around in order to watch over and protect other spirits that are haunting the same area. This can be a common theme for haunted locations where there are child spirits involved. While I'm not saying that this is cold hard facts, but it seems like the ghosts take on a family dynamic where a few will step up for the more parental roles for the younger souls. I find that using this as a conversation starter has been incredibly interesting and brings about fascinating responses to our tech. If you want to get away from the conventional conversation starters you see on TV, this might be a good place to start. This is a pattern I've noticed in the homeless community, especially when there are varying ages. It seems to be human nature to want to take on and imitate a family dynamic. If this concept crosses over into the afterlife, that will be really interesting to study in terms of human beha
vior and psychology.
CHAPTER THREE:
BRINGING THE HUMANITY BACK INTO GHOST HUNTING
The most natural response to a paranormal experience is fear. We have been raised and trained to be fearful, skeptical, and curious about the unknown. But once we have that spooky experience, we rely on fear and that "fight or flight" feeling to help us survive. What we often forget in the world of ghost hunting is that these entities are people too. They are flawed just like us. They have emotions and make decisions just like the rest of us. The big difference is that they are no longer living, and they likely don't live by the same set of morals and consequences in the world of the living. The only reason I can say that is because you often won't find a living person causing destruction, stalking, and borderline harassment without getting arrested and being held accountable.
Truly, joining the spirit world means you follow a different set of rules. I often say, "I don't know the rules of the afterlife." If there weren't any rules at all, then why is it that people can set boundaries in their homes? How can ghost hunters tell an entity to not follow them home and they do so? I find it all fascinating. Of course, there are exceptions to the rules at times. Or maybe these entities are just really respectful?
Perhaps it's because of commercialism in the paranormal. Maybe it's the paranormal television shows needing to entertain an audience. Or it's because we can't see them. But I've found that the paranormal field dehumanizes ghosts. We forget that these were once living people with a story. They were children. They had parents. They loved. They lived their lives as dynamically as you do today. Just because they no longer have a physical pulse, it doesn't mean that we should be disrespectful to the dead. This dehumanization seems to translate into the ghost hunts and ghost tours that are offered by companies all over the world.
