by Annika James
“So you’re over this already?” What was it with guys and beating things, and then they felt all better? Damn. Wish that worked for me.
“I’m just saying. It looks bad now, but we don’t know the whole story.”
“You really don’t want to be the one to bite me, do you?”
Matt’s face drained of all color, blue eyes widening, full of pain and want. “I do. I really do. But I know it would be worse for me. So no, I really don’t want to have to. Does that make any sense?”
I nodded, the lump in my throat making it impossible to say anything. He knew I didn’t feel the same way about him as he did for me. Biting me would be a kind of torture for him. So close to what he wanted, yet not able to grasp it. Yet, I knew he would do it. For me, he would suffer. He really was my knight in shining armor—or sharp fangs, anyway. Why couldn’t I love this boy as more than a brother? I returned my attention to the window as he pulled into my driveway.
“Maybe the rest of the week will go by super fast. Or the Council will forget all about you and not force you into this,” he offered hopefully.
“Yeah, right,” I muttered, opening the door. “Not holding my breath.” I leaned over and gave him a hug, drinking in his familiar scent.
“Thanks, Matty,” I whispered.
“Anytime.”
Chapter Eleven
I didn’t want to go to school the next day. I didn’t want to face Conor, or Tre, or Matt, or answer Cora’s questions. So I stayed home and hid with my Book of Shadows, looking for a spell to aid me with my dilemma.
The Book was leather bound and old, having been passed down through my mom’s family for generations. It was a grimoire, containing mostly spells and instructions for rituals. The handwriting in the front was small and hard to read.
As I flipped through the yellowed pages, it got easier to read, as the more recent generations had bigger handwriting and better spelling. I scanned each page, reading the titles of spells, looking for something, anything to help.
For a Bountiful Harvest. To Ward off the Pox. To Bind Someone. To Turn Someone into a Frog. Whoa! Was that even possible?
I scanned the cramped writing. The spell only made someone act like a frog. Hmm. Maybe I could save that one for later. I shook my head, chuckling, and continued my search. Wait a tick. A Cloaking Spell. Cloaking, like hiding. That might be useful. I gathered up my book and made my way to the attic.
The attic room was a large, open space. The ceiling comprised of wooden rafters, the floor wooden floorboards. There was one small window facing east and beneath it was my parents’ altar. They had made this room our sacred working space. I immediately felt at ease as I entered the room. I could feel both my mom’s and dad’s energies in here, lingering, positive and comforting.
A large chest of drawers sat on the north wall. It contained spell ingredients and was covered by candles of various colors and sizes. Bunches of dried herbs hung from the rafters near the west end of the room. Bookshelves filled with books lined the southern wall.
Making magick wasn’t second nature to me yet. I should have been up here the first time I’d heard of my predicament, meditating and searching for an answer. Searching for a solution even through magick wasn’t natural, yet. The more I used it, though, the more it would be.
I didn’t need any boy to protect me. I did not want to be a pawn of the Vampire Council. I was going to take care of this myself. If I was so damn powerful, why shouldn’t I be able to take care of myself?
Determined, I set my Book of Shadows on the purple cloth-covered altar and set about gathering ingredients. In the chest, I found my athame, a birthday gift from my parents when I turned thirteen. The knife had a dark wooden hilt set with red stones, not what I would have chosen for myself, though, and that was important when using magickal tools. It wasn’t really me, and I decided I needed to do some shopping for magickal tools that felt more natural.
After I’d gathered everything I needed, I called the four elements and cast a circle in front of the altar. The incense represented air, the lit candles were fire, a small bowl of salt acted as earth, and a small bowl of water rounded out the elements.
I closed my eyes to center and ground myself. Being so high in the house, one would think it would be hard to ground. The house, though, was built into the earth, and it wasn’t hard to follow the house down into the earth and ground myself there. I lit some more candles, burned some herbs, chanted, and it was done.
“So mote it be,” I finished. The energy rebounded like a snapped rubber band and I knew the spell had taken root. Power left my body, expanded outward, and then came back and filled me.
My mouth opened on a gasp as the power raced through my blood, every cell suddenly alive and buzzing with potential. I could feel it. I could sense what the vampires must sense. In that moment, I felt like the powerful, goddess-like witch Conor said I was.
Okay, he had never called me a goddess, but it really was what I felt like, standing there in my circle of power, relishing in the magick I had just worked.
I thanked the elements, banished the circle, then extinguished the candles and cleaned up the remnants of my spell. I knew something important had happened. Only time would tell if the spell had worked the way I had intended it to.
I reeled with power as I headed back down to my bedroom, a lazy smile on my face. Was this what it felt like to be high? Because I felt a little lightheaded and giddy. It was…nice. I put my book safely away and saw by the glowing numbers on my clock that school was now over. I probably had a ton of texts from Cora and Matt wondering where I was.
I picked up my phone and sure enough, both of them had texted me multiple times. I sent them each a reply explaining I’d stayed home and I was fine. As I hit send on the text to Matt, the doorbell rang. Had they decided just to come over and check on me?
As I ran down the stairs, I noticed I no longer felt powerful, just heavy. Was the spell working?
My mouth dropped when I opened the front door. My heart raced. Conor stood on my front porch, all gorgeous in baggy jeans and a bright green T-shirt that matched his eyes. The warm breeze carried his scent to me, almost causing me to give into the instincts that begged him to bite me. Almost. I leaned on the side of the door and gave him a hard look, my body rigid.
“Hey.” He gave me a hopeful smile.
I would not be swayed. I tried to keep my eyes narrowed, my mouth tight. I gave him what I hoped was an irritated look.
“What do you want, Conor?” To my chagrin, my voice shook a little.
His face fell. “I just needed to talk to you. There’s a lot to explain.”
I refused to move. He studied me, brows drawn together. I closed my eyes with a sigh and readied myself to send him away.
“I don’t…”
“What did you do?” he cut me off sharply.
My eyes snapped open. “Excuse me?” I reared back, indignant at his tone.
He pushed his way into the foyer, closed the door behind him, and gripped my shoulders.
“What did you do?” he repeated, voice demanding yet full of awe. His intense eyes had questions in them, but were bright as though he was excited. His gaze raked over me, searching for something.
His raised eyebrows, open mouth, and pink cheeks surprised me. My pulse raced and my hands trembled as he gripped me tightly.
I shook my head and mumbled, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Had the spell worked that well?
He bent his head and put his face to my neck, inhaling deeply. Goosebumps broke out on my skin, traveling down to my toes. My hands shook as they involuntarily found his waist, gripping his shirt.
I held my breath, my resolve to be mad at him crumbling at his nearness. His scent flooded my senses; his body heat warmed my skin. I was completely undone by a gorgeous boy, full of himself, sniffing my neck.
His hands clenched on my shoulders as he raised his head. His lips pulled into a wondrous smile. “How did you do it?”
He gazed at me with wide eyes.
“Do what?” I asked, innocently.
His eyes narrowed as he pushed me gently up against the wall, pinning my shoulders. He stared down at me intently.
“Your power. It’s…it’s gone.” He shook his head disbelievingly.
I flushed and looked past him. “So, you’ll be leaving?” My hands fell to my sides. If I wasn’t powerful, he wouldn’t want me anymore, right? Life could go back to normal.
His hands gripped me tighter, pulling me to him. Then his mouth was on mine, kissing me. Dumbfounded, I managed to kiss him back. It was as good as I remembered, better even, because now I was participating.
I wrapped my arms around him, holding his heat to me, and he pressed me even closer to him. I lost myself to the kiss. I had no idea why he was kissing me or why the discovery my power was ‘gone’ inspired this kiss. At the moment, I didn’t care. I went with it.
When he finally pulled back, his arms came around me and pressed me to him. He kissed the top of my head as I buried my face in his chest. He smelled amazing, as always.
“See?” His voice was a little raspy.
I pulled back and looked up at him in question. “What?”
“I came here to tell you, to convince you I wasn’t in this just for your power. Now, though, your power appears to be gone. So you have to believe me, right?”
“You kissed me just because you wanted to?” I asked. Dare I believe him?
He smiled, eyes crinkling. “Well, yeah.” His cheeks flushed.
I let go of him and paced away, cold washing over me in the absence of his arms.
“What about your mom?” I asked, remembering that humiliation. My voice hardened as I recalled why I’d been mad at him before he’d started kissing me. “I heard you guys talking about me.”
He paused, pressing his lips together. “My mom has other plans. I don’t always agree with her, which is why I was having such a hard time these last couple days. She wanted me to…” He swallowed and squared his shoulders. “After I sensed you at school, I asked my mom and mistakenly mentioned you might like me. After the Council made the decision you had to be claimed, she told me to use your affection to get you to pick me. Then I would be the one with your power and she thought she’d be able to use me to be more powerful herself.”
I froze, my heartbeat sped at the thought of being used by Conor, his mom, or anyone. No, no, no. I couldn’t believe I’d fallen for it, had kissed him. Was he here now to get me to agree to his mom’s plan?
I opened my mouth to protest, but Conor kept going. “I won’t let that happen.” His eyes hardened with determination. “Her plans are why I started to pull away. Why I didn’t want to be dating right away. I wanted you to trust me without the whole dating thing getting in the way. We were forced to pretend, but it just felt natural to be with you. It scared me a little, and I found I liked you. I didn’t want my mom to be able to use you.” His voice dropped, and he looked away.
I swallowed. He’d really wanted to date me? I didn’t know what to say without sounding stupid. It felt natural? That’s what he’d said, natural. My chest tightened.
He looked back at me, eyes shining. “I wanted it to be more than me using you. I didn’t want to use you, so I pulled away. I was going to explain yesterday, but you ran away. Understandable, I guess, but I need you to know how I feel.” He smiled again, causing my heart to palpitate. “Now that your power is undetectable, you might not even need a protector. It’s still there, isn’t it? Just not on the surface?”
Did I tell him the truth or let him think my power was gone for good? He’d already admitted he wanted to be with me, and not just for my power. However, I was still having a hard time completely trusting him. He barely knew me. How did he know he wanted to be with me for centuries? I took a step toward him and put a hand on his chest. Goddess, his muscles excited my senses.
“If I’d found a way to get rid of it for good, would you still want to be with me?” I dragged my hand off of him reluctantly and walked away again, not wanting to watch his face.
“I mean,” I continued, facing away, “my power is what attracted you to me in the first place.” I turned, spreading my hands. “If it were gone, what’s left for you with me?”
He remained quiet, thinking. I was ready to bolt, to run upstairs and leave him there in my foyer. He closed the distance between us and took my face gently in his hands.
“The only thing that comes to mind is you’d be so much more relaxed with me if your power truly was gone.” His voice softened. “Yes. I would still want to be your boyfriend.”
Whoa. He wanted to be my boyfriend. I just meant being with me as a protector. Since when had he decided he wanted to be my boyfriend?
“I’ve missed you, Ash,” he continued, his gaze traveling to my face. “Even though you haven’t gone anywhere. I miss your smile, your laugh, your eyes. I need to be with you, Ashlinn, power or no.”
I swallowed hard, face flaming. Okay, boys just did not talk like that for real, did they? He spoke with complete and blatant honesty. When did that happen? And how did I respond?
“Um.” Oh, brilliant. The boy poured his heart out and all I gave him was ‘um.’ I tried to find my voice. “I did a cloaking spell. I don’t know how long it will last.”
Conor nodded, smiling like a proud teacher. “My smart witch,” he murmured, bracketing my face with his hands and kissing me softly on the mouth. His mouth was cool and hot at the same time and he tasted like mint gum. I wanted to devour him, or let him devour me. Just like that, my mind was made up. Wow, I was a pushover.
“Okay,” I whispered, covering his hands with mine. He looked down in question. “Bite me.” I grinned wickedly.
His eyes widened. “But with the spell, we may not need…”
I shook my head. “I don’t know if it will last. I don’t know if it will work when I get stronger. Let’s just go with the inevitable and I pick you, okay? I mean…if you still want me,” I faltered.
He studied me for a moment. “You sure?” he asked softly.
I nodded. “When do you want to do it?” I asked, my pulse picking up.
He lowered his hands, entwining our fingers. “Friday night at the Council gathering is probably still the best time.”
I must have looked shocked because he squeezed my hands reassuringly.
“We’ll have privacy. It’s not like we have to do it in front of them,” he said with a small smile.
I was really going to let Conor bite me, just hours after I’d decided I could do without a protector. The thought of him sinking his teeth into me made my skin tingle with excitement.
“That was everything you had to explain?” I changed the subject.
“Yeah. I figured you’d be confused why I was acting like I didn’t want you while at the same time forcing you to pretend to date me. The deadline is coming. Matt doesn’t really want to do it. Tre is getting bolder and I just kept pulling away. I know I was hurting you.”
He turned a little, avoiding my eyes. “I came to just let you know I really do care about you, as a person, not your power, and I wanted to be your boyfriend. As cheesy as that sounds.” His cheeks reddened a little as he gave a wry smile. “I’m not sure whether you want to date me or not, which is why I didn’t ask you on Sunday.” He looked at me now. “I was afraid you wouldn’t want to be with me in a consort type of relationship.”
I gawked at him. “You knew I had a crush on you.”
He shrugged. “Yeah, but I freaked you out. I thought you might have changed your mind.”
How could a guy so hot and in control be self-conscious? It made me want to laugh.
“Well,” I started, heart beating rapidly. “I do want you…that way. Even though you screwed up. I think you’ve proven you have some control.” I smiled shyly at him.
His eyes twinkled at me. They actually twinkled. His arms found me and pulled me close to him. “I promise I will protect you, help you to lear
n how to control that power of yours.”
Happiness filled me to the point of bursting. I wanted this. This boy. Everything felt right, like destiny finally being fulfilled and we were supposed to be doing exactly what we were at that exact moment. I was meant to be with Conor. Period. I ignored the tiny twinge that indicated something more, something I wasn’t thinking of, because at that moment, it didn’t matter.
What to do until Friday? Would Tre leave me alone? My face fell a little as I contemplated the next couple days.
“What about Tre?” I frowned.
His eyebrows drew together in concern. “I’m not sure,” he admitted. “I don’t think he’ll do anything at school but harass you. However, it would probably be enough to piss both me and Matt off and we don’t need a fight at school.”
“So.” I picked invisible lint off his shoulder. “I can either skip school for the next two days, or…” I let my voice trail off, leaving the insinuation hanging in the air.
“No,” he said with determination. He smoothed a hand down my hair. “I want to wait until Friday. You don’t really want to be bitten and I want to make sure you’re as comfortable around me as possible before I do bite you.”
Okay, that reasoning I could understand, and I appreciated his concern for me.
“Fair enough,” I agreed. “What do we do about Tre? Because I really don’t feel like being licked again.”
Conor’s face registered shock. “He licked you?” Okay, he looked mad.
I fidgeted a little. “Um, yeah. I thought you knew.”
A muscle ticked in his jaw and he gave me his back, walking a step away before turning around, eyes steely. “No. I didn’t know that was what he did. I thought he was just smelling you, like I did, you know, to taste your power.” His voice was hard.
I took a hesitant step toward him. “No. He, uh, kissed my pulse, and then he licked me.”
Conor closed his eyes and took a deep breath, like he was trying to stay calm. I continued. “See. He heard us talking about you pretending to like me and he offered to be my protector, only he said he’d be my boyfriend, too. He said you were stupid for not claiming me already and he promised a relationship between him and me would be…hot.” I finished with red cheeks, embarrassed by what Tre had said to me in such an intimate way.
