“How dare you talk to me like that.” Mama sniffled. “I’m your mother Roxy May.”
“Yes you are my mama,” I snapped in irritation. “But could have fooled me, bein’ that you were never around when I was growing up.”
I regretted the words as soon as I’d said them, but they were true and we both knew it. I didn’t know why I was in such a foul mood, but my patience was wearing thin with Sharon Hart.
“I didn’t ever realize you felt that way, Rox.” She sniffled again. “I mean, you never said anything. You always seemed so capable and all.”
“Of course I did.” I laughed dryly. “Somebody had to be. I had to take care of Reagan while you were off doin’ your thing. You were the adult and I was the kid, how was I supposed to know any better? It’s the only way I knew mama.”
She stared at me with her green eyes filled with tears, like she was finally seeing me for the first time.
“I don’t wanna’ upset you,” I said softly. “I just can’t understand why you always think you need a man to be happy. Why can’t you just be mama and Sharon Hart for a while? Find out who you are without a man first.”
She glanced down at her hands as she wrung them together in her lap, tears spilling down her cheeks.
“You make it sound so damn easy, Rox.” She smiled sadly. “You know I’ve always been envious of you in that way. How you could just be so strong all the time. I don’t know how you do that. The thought of being alone is paralyzing to me. And I don’t know who I am, sugar. I don’t think I’ve ever figured that out.”
“Well then, isn’t it time?” I asked her hopefully. “Reagan and I could help you, ya know.”
She stared at me and shook her head as though she were ashamed.
“I know darlin’. You’re right, I know that you are. And I promise I’m gonna’ try. It’s all I can do. But I mean it from the bottom of my heart, I will try.”
I reached forward and pulled her in for a hug, smiling with relief. It was more than she’d ever promised, and I knew she wasn’t gonna’ change overnight. But I really believed her when she said she’d try.
“Oh and Rox?” She pulled back to stare at me.
“Yea mama?”
“You promise me you will try to put yourself out there too.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, you need to learn how to trust again darlin’.” She gave me a sad smile. “Even if it hurts.”
Chapter Twelve
Roxy
When Bentley picked me up from the hospital later that evening, he was awfully quiet, and I didn’t know why. He was acting real nervous again, like he wasn’t sure what to say.
I was hoping it wasn’t because of him telling me that he loved me. I hadn’t said it back, even though I knew with certainty that I did. Bentley and I hadn’t been messing around too long before I realized that I was love in with him.
It just couldn’t be helped. I’d harbored feelings for him for so many years. All through high school, and even after I married Corey I’d still get little flutters in my chest whenever I saw him. But he never talked to me, and I couldn’t figure out why.
It wasn’t until I was hanging out at Murphy’s one night when he sidled up to me like we were best friends or something. Started giving me shit about being the homecoming queen, which he knew I hated. He was drunker than all get out, which Dawn later told me was becoming a regular occurrence for him.
She was about to call his daddy to come get him when I told her not to worry about it. I knew that the Daniels’ had been through enough as it was, and probably wouldn’t have liked seein’ Bentley that way. So even though he was bein’ a real dick, I hauled him on out to my car.
It wasn’t an easy feat. The man was at least a good ten inches taller than me, and mostly muscle it felt like. The body of a laborer, and the hands of one too. I still remember how rough his hands were as he gripped my arm that first time, holding on tight. It felt good to have his hands on me, and I had all sorts of crazy heat runnin’ through me.
I took Bentley home and managed to put him into bed when he started mumbling a whole bunch of stuff that didn’t make much sense. Stuff about me bein’ the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen in real life. I was sure it was the alcohol talkin’ so I just gave him a glass of water and a Tylenol chaser and left him bee.
But the next day he showed up at my door with my favorite coffee in hand, looking like he was on his way to church to repent. He sat down and apologized for bein’ a dick the night before, and it was the first time we’d ever just talked.
It didn’t last too long though, because the next thing I knew, sparks were flying every which way and Bentley and I had started something we couldn’t stop. The passion was all consuming. A raging inferno of desire that had swallowed me whole. And even though I suspected I had every chance of getting burned, I dove head first into it anyway.
Now here we were two years later with a whole lot of heartbreak on my part, and Bentley lookin’ like a nervous wreck. And I didn’t know how to fix any of it. I didn’t know how to just be Bentley’s friend, or even if I could. The lines were already starting to blur, and I didn’t think I could pull back now. No matter how hard I dug in my heels, Bentley Daniels was going to pull me under his spell.
We pulled up to his house and he helped me out of the cab of his truck, bein’ the short ass I was. Then he took me inside, and I realized why he was so damn nervous.
The dinner table was set for two, a soft candle flickering in the center. There was a bottle of my favorite wine on ice, and two plates under silver trays.
Bentley looked embarrassed as he walked across the room and blew the candle out.
“She wasn’t supposed to do that,” he said, his eyes looking everywhere but at me. “I just asked her to set the table while we were away.”
“Your mama?” I asked, unable to help the teasing smile that came to my face.
“Yes.” He sighed. “She has her own agenda I guess. But I just wanted a chance to talk to you Rox, if you’ll let me.”
I knew it was long overdue, and from the looks of it, Bentley had gone to a lot of trouble for this. I couldn’t have shot him down now if I wanted to.
“Okay, Bentley.”
He looked like he’d just had a piano lifted off his back as he took in my words, and then tugged me along to the table before I could change my mind.
I sat down and he went to pour me a drink when I stopped him.
“I don’t want to drink in front of you.”
“It’s okay,” he said, pouring me a glass. “It doesn’t bother me, Rox. It was never the smell of it or anything like that. I know everyone thinks that if I even see alcohol now I’m gonna’ jump all over it, but that ain’t the case.”
I nodded and waited for him to sit down. He lifted the lids up to reveal a perfectly cooked piece of steak and a side of mashed potatoes.
“This looks really nice, Bentley,” I said, tucking in. I was starving.
He started eating too, and for a while it was quiet. But once we’d finished, he slid the plates aside and clasped my hands in his.
“Rox, the reason I told you about Jake the other day, was because I wanted you to know why I started drinkin’ in the first place. It’s important to me that you know it had nothin’ to do with Annabeth, although, I guess that did kind of make things worse. But truthfully, I never felt for her the way I feel about you, and I need you to know that.”
I shifted in my chair, staring at the table cloth, not really knowing what to say to that. I mean, honestly I was glad that he’d told me that. If only to reaffirm that wasn’t the case.
“Now I don’t plan on makin’ any excuses,” he continued. “But I would like to give you an explanation for why I done what I done.”
I inhaled a shaky breath and nodded, waiting for the words that I needed to hear a long time ago. And I’m sure I could have, if I’d just given Bentley a chance to explain. But my heart wouldn’t let me.
&
nbsp; “When you and I started… well, hookin’ up, I wasn’t in a good place. You already know that, and like I said, it ain’t an excuse. I was an angry drunk who just generally thought I was no good, and then you came along… and Roxy, you were so God damned sweet and innocent and beautiful in every way. You kept complimenting me and tellin’ me how amazing I was, and it just didn’t sit right with me.”
“I was confused as hell because I’d never felt anything like the things I felt when we were together. But at the same time, I knew everything you thought I was couldn’t be true. And I’d get angry and say stupid shit to upset you, just to prove a point to myself I guess.”
“I remember.” I gave him a wobbly smile. “You never could get out of your own damn way.”
“Ain’t that the damn truth,” he mumbled, scrubbing a hand through his hair. “But the last time I saw you, before that night… I just kept replayin’ it through my mind. How I’d made you cry, and how much it just completely broke me to see you that way. And I knew that I was too selfish to let you go, so the only choice I had was to make you hate me.”
I opened my mouth to argue when Bentley cut me off. “I didn’t say it was a good choice. I was an angry drunk, remember?”
I tried not to smile, because I knew which part was comin’ next, but I couldn’t help it. I was half smiling half-crying by that point.
“I kinda’ figured you’d stop by that night.” He blew out a shaky breath. “I was at Murphy’s when Bethany threw herself at me, and I sure as hell didn’t take her home because I liked her if that’s what you think, Rox. Ain’t no woman on this planet that could ever compare to you, but I just figured at the time it was what I needed to do. I was drunk and stupid, and I wasn’t thinkin’ clearly about how much it would hurt you. I don’t think there’s anything I can ever do or say to take away that hurt from you. I wish there was. The only thing I can tell you is that I never wanted her. I kicked her out right after you left, and I haven’t spoken to her since. I haven’t been with anyone since, matter of fact, because it just don’t feel right if it ain’t you.”
The tears welled up in my eyes, and they were too powerful to stop. And as soon as Bentley saw me crying, he pulled me into his arms and sat us both down on the sofa.
“I’m so sorry, Rox,” he whispered. “I really am. If I could take it back, I would. I would do anything not to have hurt you that way. All I can do now is prove to you that I’m a better man. That I love you more than anything, and I want you in my life.”
He rocked me back and forth in his arms until I was all cried out, and then he just held me tight, waiting for me to say something. Everything he’d told me wasn’t anything I didn’t already know. I knew Bentley was hatin’ on himself for some reason, which is why I was always complementing him. And I knew that he’d been with Bethany that night to hurt me, but he didn’t know about her and Corey, or just how much it would devastate me.
It still hurt like hell, but truthfully, I wanted to forgive him. To forget all of it and move on. If only it were that easy. I decided while we were having a heart to heart to just put myself out there on the line too.
“You know you were only my second,” I said. “Corey was my first, but I always wanted it to be you, Bentley. You just never gave me the time of day.”
He stared at me with pain filled eyes, squeezing me just a little bit tighter.
“I didn’t know that,” he rasped. “God Rox, I had no idea. I knew you were innocent, but I didn’t know I was your second. And as for high school… well, the reason I didn’t talk to you was because you made me so damn nervous.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Cause’.” He laughed as though it were simple. “Foxy Roxy makes every red-blooded male in town nervous. Can’t you see that?”
“Ugh,” I groaned. “I hate that damn nickname.”
Bentley just shrugged. “Fits you though. You’re a beautiful woman, Roxy Hart.”
He held me close, his scent washing over me, and I wanted nothing more than to lose myself in that scent again. But Bentley wasn’t done talking.
“I didn’t realize you’d ever had a crush on me either, truth be told. My mouth would have probably hit the damn floor if you’d ever said anything about it.”
“Because you always thought I was too good for everybody,” I said quietly. “But I just had my guard up. My life hadn’t been all roses Bentley, and I had my own ways of coping with it too.”
“I know you did, sweetheart.” He brushed the hair from my face. “I can see that now. I was just too damn stupid then.”
The way he was staring at me had me feeling all kind of crazy emotions, and before I could let my mind protest, I leaned up and kissed him. Bentley froze for all of two seconds before he groaned and kissed me back with so much passion I thought I was going to explode.
And for once I let my heart say the words that it so desperately wanted to speak, consequences be damned.
“Take me to bed Bentley Daniels, and start making it up to me.”
Chapter Thirteen
Bentley
I spent the entirety of the next two weeks making up to Roxy in every way that I could think of. Things were finally good between us, and I felt like I was flying high on a new kind of drug as I stared at her across the dinner table.
“Why don’t we go down to Murphy’s tonight?” Sharon suggested with a twinkle in her eye. “It’s karaoke night, isn’t it?”
Roxy shot her a disapproving glance before looking my way. I knew what she was thinkin’ as she worried her lip between her teeth, but I put her fears to rest.
“We should go,” I told her. “It’ll be fun.”
“Are you sure?” she asked. “I don’t want you doing anything that you’re uncomfortable with.”
“It’s fine, Rox. I’ve been into Murphy’s a hundred times since I quit drinkin’, you don’t have to worry about that.”
She smiled at me apologetically before turning back to her mama. “Okay, but you have to promise me we’re just there to sing.”
“Yes, Roxy.” Sharon rolled her eyes. “I know.”
***
Bethany was working back at Murphy’s, and I felt bad for pushing Roxy to come here. I could tell she was uncomfortable, but I did my best to reassure her. I never took my eyes or my hands off of her the entire night, and I made sure to order her drinks at the bar.
When Bethany did come to our table, I could feel her eyes on me, but I stoically ignored her. I didn’t think there was anything nice I could say to the woman, especially not after the latest stunt she’d pulled with Corey.
When we finally left around midnight, Bethany chased us out onto the sidewalk.
“Hey Bentley,” she hollered. “Can I talk to you in private for a minute?”
I saw the way she was looking at Roxy with an evil little grin on her face, and it only made me hate myself more. Out of all the women I could have screwed up with, it had to be the most vindictive one in town.
I wrapped my arm around Roxy like a vice grip and shook my head. “I ain’t got nothin’ to say to you, Bethany. So from now on, you stay out of our business, got it?”
She feigned insult as she clasped her hand over her chest. “All I wanted to say was I’m real happy you two could work things out,” she said softly.
And with a flip of her hair, she sauntered back inside. But somehow, I knew this wasn’t over.
***
Roxy
Mama called me over for a celebratory dinner tonight. Robert’s probation had been revoked, and we wouldn’t be seein’ the likes of him anytime soon.
I was happy to celebrate with her, and proud of how hard she was trying. Since she’d been on her newfound quest for self-discovery, she was a whole new woman.
“You and Bentley seem to be gettin’ real close,” she observed.
“Yea, I guess you could say that.” I gave her a shy smile.
As happy as I was, I couldn’t help feeling like the rug was about
to be pulled out from beneath me. Because nothing this good ever lasted, did it?
Bentley and I had been making up like crazy, and he couldn’t take his eyes or his hands off me most of the time. I was all warm and fuzzy inside, but I was scared as hell too.
“He’s crazy about you,” Mama said, seemingly reading my thoughts clearly. “You don’t have nothin’ to worry about with him sugar.”
“I know you’re probably right,” I said. “I’m just being paranoid.”
An hour later, I was on my way to meet Bentley at Murphy’s.
He’d started to join Amy and I for our weekly karaoke night, even though he claimed he couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket.
When I walked inside, Amy was at the bar, shrugging out of her apron. I glanced around, not seeing Bentley anywhere.
“He just went to the bathroom.” Amy jerked her head towards the hall.
“Okay.” I nodded. “I gotta’ go too. Can you sign us up for something, your choice?”
“Already on it, sugar.” Amy grinned.
I headed down the darkened hallway that led to the restrooms, and stopped short when I heard a giggle from the corner. Up ahead of me, Bethany Francis was pinned to the wall, her face plastered against his.
My heart started racing, my palms sweating, and all I could do was stand there and watch. I didn’t want to believe it was real. I couldn’t look away, and it took me forever to move.
I spun around in a wave of nausea and slammed face first into a hard wall of muscle.
“Hey, sweetheart, are you okay?”
I glanced up, confusion washing over me as I stared into Bentley’s green eyes. I looked back over my shoulder, catching Bethany’s little smirk as she stared back at me. It wasn’t Bentley she was with, but it sure as hell looked a lot like him.
Bentley seemed to realize what I was thinking as he pulled me into his arms and squeezed me tight. And I was embarrassed, because I was already crying over something that hadn’t even happened. My heart felt like it was shattered into a million pieces, over a guy I didn’t even know.
Louisiana Sky (Love in Belle Pont #2) Page 5
