Jonny slips into me slowly with teasing little movements of deep, deeper and back out; resting on the outside of my vagina . . . waiting, not giving in to its lustful twitching. Then with deep hard pushes he enters me again. Over and over I groan as the overwhelming rhythmic force of him takes me to heights I have never been before. Shit!
Unashamedly I cry out. My pulsating sensitive self relishes in his thrusts as they drive deeper and deeper, faster and faster. I am reaching another orgasmic crescendo. I once again fist the sheets, breathless and panting.
“Oh, shit!” I cry out.
He relentlessly thrusts harder and deeper. An animalistic look of concentration is upon his face. Beads of sweat glisten above his contorted brow, yet he’s still so utterly delicious. A deep throaty gasp escapes his lips.
“Oh, Jess . . . fuck me!”
Our harmonious fucking is on the cusp of a heavenly climax. Deeper and harder he pumps, driving down deep into my core, fucking me faster and faster until together we reach an all-consuming, mind-blowing orgasm. His eyes are tightly closed as the waves of ecstasy drown him while my sexed muscles contract around him, sensation after sensation of pure and utter pleasure.
Jonny slowly opens his eyes and lovingly looks down at my sated body. He lies down beside me. We both lie there drenched in bliss . . . breathless and panting.
“Shit Jessica, you are going to kill me.” We both laugh. “How do you feel, are you okay?” he asks, looking at me with those wonderful suede eyes of his showing such genuine warmth.
I turn on my side and smile. “Honestly? I feel like I have just been fucked like I have never been fucked before.” Jonny is smiling but I am fully aware of the real question that he is asking. “I am okay, as well.” I answer, taking hold of his hand.
“I don’t want you feeling guilty, Jessica.” Jonny tells me as he gently caresses my thigh.
“I think it’s too late for that, don’t you? Besides, I don’t want us to dwell on things. We have all night together and I want to enjoy it.” I change the subject with a smile.
“Now that sounds like a very good plan, Dimples. Are you hungry?”
“Slightly, but I want to lie here next to you for now, and talk until we are completely famished.” We get under the covers and snuggle into one another. It feels wonderful being held so close by him, skin to skin. With the much needed sex part out of the way, this was now pure intimacy. I rest my head on his chest as he gently strokes my back with one hand; nothing else matters, only us in this room. All time has ceased to be in our lavish hotel room. What is happening outside of it is irrelevant. All that matters is he and I, here and now.
“Tell me about you, Jessica. I want to know everything. Tell me about your girls, how old are they?” Jonny asks innocently. I hesitate before answering. Unsure of whether I actually feel comfortable talking about my daughters in the light of what’s just happened. Jonny picks up on my reluctance to answer his question. ”Does it bother you that I ask about your daughters?” he asks softly.
“It just feels kind of wrong, Jonny.” I admit with my body tensing in his hold.
“What we are doing doesn’t change the fact that you are a mother, Jessica. I only ask because they are your life and it’s your life that I want to know more about.” His arms tighten around me. I look up at him and his smile is genuine. I think this is Jonny’s way of trying to make what we are doing feel less sordid. He is trying to connect with me and my life. I relax a little and decide it’s okay to open up.
“Lissy is fourteen. She is a quiet, sensitive soul who is thoughtful and intelligent. Lottie is twelve. She’s confident, mischievous, loud and artistic. Both are beautiful girls, I am blessed to have them.” I proudly tell him.
“Beautiful, just like their mum.” Jonny kisses the top of my head.
“I am incredibly proud of them. Regarding my life in general, I love to read when I have the time. Of course like many women, I love to shop. I don’t have a favourite colour, I don’t have a favourite food, I have an eclectic taste in music and I love period dramas. I hate cruelty to animals, all the hate within the world and I hate people who work with the public who are rude and impolite. That’s me in a nutshell, I think?”
Jonny’s warm laugh fills the room. “Ahhh, that’s me briefed on the life of Jessica Neel in about ten seconds, then.”
“What about you?” I ask.
“Well, I’m an only child. My mum lives in Devon and my dad died when I was fifteen. I, too, have an eclectic taste in music. I love golf, when I get the time to play. I am probably one of the few men in the country who actually does enjoy shopping. I love to travel and discover new things. For me the best thing ever is to be close to the sea. My guilty pleasure is to watch National Geographic. My favourite animal is the gorilla. I don’t like pretentious people and those who don’t have a good heart. Oh, and I have a slight fetish for dimples.” He leans over to kiss my dimple, tenderly stroking my hair. His eyes are happy, relaxed and content. “I still can’t believe you are here, Jessica. I’ve not felt this happy for a very long time.”
I kiss the tip of his nose. “I have always been happy and thought I could never want for anything more, until I met you.”
He pauses, almost hesitant to speak. “I think I am going to fall for you, Jessica, and when I fall . . . I fall hard.” His words ring true and sincere.
With a minx-like smile, I reply in a soft, sexy voice. “Then I had better make damn sure I am ready to catch you.” He pulls me closer to him, so close in fact; it’s impossible to get any closer. I love the smell of sex, which invisibly coats his body and hold onto him equally as tight.
“Are you scared, Jessica?” Jonny asks.
“Of what?” I wonder where Jonny is going with his question.
“I don’t know, maybe it all falling apart?”
“What, my marriage you mean?”
He gently shakes his head. “No . . . us.”
“I am trying not to think too far ahead. Why, are you?” I ask him
“Hell, yeah, I’m shit scared. I’ve never felt like this before with anyone and I’m scared you are going to wake up one day and think ‘what the hell am I doing?’ and then end it between us.”
I take his face into my hands and kiss his parted lips, offering to him some reassurance as a gesture of our unknown future together. “I don’t think I could walk away from you even if I tried, Jonny.”
He smiles, assured enough for now. “I’ve told my agent about you, Jessica.”
“Really?” I am surprised by his comment as I figured I’d always be a secret to anyone within his world.
“He’s not happy, but you make me happy so he’ll just have to deal with it.” he flatly tells me.
“What has he said then?”
“That I am making a huge mistake getting involved with a married woman. The words ‘damage limitation’ and ‘the stuff which ruins careers’ were also thrown into the air quite a few times.” Jonny’s hold around me tightens.
“I see. He does have a point, I suppose. As your agent, he’s simply doing his job.” I offer up an explanation.
“I know, but if I am so well loved by the public, as he persisted in telling me, wouldn’t they want me to be happy, too?”
“You are adored by the public, so they think they own you. They fantasise about you. They talk about who you should be with and who you shouldn’t. They probably think they know you inside and out, but they don’t. I suppose it’s just a part of being famous. You are public property, Jonny, but I agree, I certainly hope your adoring public would want you to be happy, too. However, a married woman is certainly not someone they would choose for their, Jonny Riley.”
He lets out a frustrated sigh. “It can be so hard trying to please everyone, Jessica.”
“At the end of the day, Jonny, it is me who is married. I am the one who will get all the shitty fallout, not you.”
“I wouldn’t want that happening to you though, Jessica. You don’t deserve that
.”
I lean up onto his chest. “Listen, I am not wanting any of this to go public, either. We just have to be very careful, that’s all. Take each day as it comes.” I tell him.
“What about Shawn?” Jonny asks.
I breathe in deeply. The thought of Shawn suddenly weighs heavy on my mind. “I do love him, Jonny. It just wasn’t enough anymore. I have never so much as looked at another man, until I met you. You’ve turned my world upside down, and I know I am living two lives. One with Shawn and the one I have with you. I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I do know I tried to stay away from you, yet I couldn’t. I was too weak.” Not looking at him, I play with his soft chest hair.
“Can I ask you something personal, Jessica?” I nod as an awful feeling of dread rises in my throat. “Are you still sleeping with Shawn?”
I could sense Jonny’s question coming. I can choose to lie, or I can choose to tell the truth. I decide on the latter. “Yes . . . yes, I am.” I say without hesitation. Jonny sits up with his back to me, slowly rubbing his cheeks with his agitated hands. I don’t quite know what he expected me to say, but I needed to tell him the truth. My life is full of enough lies as it is, I can’t let us be based on lies, too. “Say something, Jonny.” I plead.
“I am thinking. I don’t want to speak until I am sure of what I am going to say.” he tells me quietly.
“You hate me, don’t you?”
Jonny looks over his shoulder at me, revealing a slight smile. “I don’t hate you, Jessica. I’m just feeling as though I have been punched in the stomach. I’m confused and hurt. Fuck, I’m more than that . . . I am angry.” His shoulders are tense. His body is anything but relaxed now.
“I don’t know what you expected me to say. You knew I was happily married, Jonny. I wasn’t this lonely, depressed, desperate, sex-starved married woman. I was . . . I am happy with Shawn. The night we first kissed, though, changed everything. I went home to Shawn and felt different. When he made love to me, I felt empty and ashamed. Then I found myself trying to cause an argument with him to give me a reason for him not to touch me. This is the man I have been with for eighteen years, Jonny. He is the father of my children. The one who got me up every single day after my mother died. We hardly ever argue and I could see I was hurting him deeply, because of something you and I are doing. It’s not fair on him, Jonny. I can’t do that to him. So, I made up my mind that all the time I am with Shawn, I need to be his wife . . . in every way. I at least owe him that.”
He turns around to face me. “So, what about us or my feelings?” He looks absorbed in thought and the hurt is painted all across his face.
“Nothing’s changed between us, Jonny. Everything is still the same.”
Jonny leans in close. “You are the first person I have slept with in thirteen months, Jessica. I was this close to fucking you without protection, because that’s how sure I am about my feelings for you. All common sense gets tossed aside when I am with you and that scares the shit out of me. I guess I hadn’t even stopped to think you’d still be sleeping with your husband. What if our feelings do grow, Jessica? Will you still want to be with Shawn?” he asks.
“If you are asking me whether I would consider leaving Shawn, right now the answer is no. If in the future things change, then maybe my feelings will change. It is early days between us, Jonny. We have to think carefully about things. This has happened all so quickly, it doesn’t even feel real yet. You are Jonny Riley. You are a famous man and I am an adulteress. There is no way to make us sound pretty. What we are doing is wrong. It’s a wrong which I am doing willingly, because it feels good being with you, but I don’t want to ruin your good name and I don’t want to leave Shawn.” I confess to him.
Jonny smiles. “I wouldn’t ask you to do that, Jessica. Leaving Shawn can only ever be your decision. I guess the thought of you going back home and doing whatever you do there with your husband has just never crossed my mind before, but of course you’ll be sleeping with your husband. He’s your fucking husband for Christ’s sake!” He turns away from me, once again. His own inner conflict keeps pulling him away from me. I reach out for him. My naked body cradles his back, trying to comfort him in some small hopeful way. I am grateful that he allows me to drape my apologetic self across him. When he takes my palm and kisses it, I say what’s in my heart.
“I am sorry. I know this must be hard for you, but I am married, Jonny, and Shawn is my husband. I don’t know what’s happening here but I feel powerless to stop it. Let’s see where this goes before we begin to talk about me leaving my husband. I am having an affair and similar to how you feel when you are with me, all common sense gets lost when I am with you. We have to be careful. I don’t want what we have being discovered and being dirtied by everyone. I cannot allow your name being dragged through the mud because of me. You would end up resenting me and then I would end up losing everything and everyone . . . including you. I hate myself enough already; I couldn’t stand the thought of you hating me, too. I suppose ending up alone with everyone hating me is something I deserve, but please try to understand how difficult this is for me, Jonny. I guess what I am trying to say is, I don’t know what the future holds for us. I know I love Shawn, but I also know I want you in my life. You have made me question every single thing I have or have ever felt in my life. I have no idea what will happen between us, but I do know you are already in my heart and I’m terrified by that,” I admit. I rest my chin on his shoulder and he pulls me around his body to lie across his lap.
“Now just you listen to me, we are both in this together. I knew full well what I was getting myself into when I pursued you, so don’t you fucking dare carry what we are doing all on your shoulders. You walked away from me and I was the one who wouldn’t stay out of your life. I am sorry for the way I reacted about you and Shawn. It was a shock to find out you are still sleeping with him but that’s my problem, not yours Jessica. I am not going to lie to you; it’ll take some getting used to. I always knew it wasn’t going to be easy for you and me. We have reached our first hurdle, but all the time you are here, you are mine . . . at least for now.”
I exhale with a relieved sigh. “Thank you,” I murmur as Jonny pulls me into his chest. His beating heart is soothing against my ear. Lying in his arms, I feel a bittersweet completeness. I don’t know what is around the corner for us but, I know I am willing to take the risk.
My life over the next couple of months revolves around a passionate, wonderful affair with the sexy Jonny Riley. Lying has now become almost routine. I flit from being with Shawn, to clandestine meetings with Jonny in hotel rooms. When I am sat with only my private thoughts for company, I despise myself for what I am doing¸ because bottom line . . . I am having an illicit affair.
In spite of that, Jonny and I have begun to share more; we are getting incredibly close. We laugh, joke, cry, talk, and then fuck. Our relationship has grown into something truly special. We aren’t controlling it. It is controlling us. We have almost settled into our own beautiful, but sordid relationship. What we are doing actually feels normal.
On the face of it, my life remains normal. Work has been going really well and life with my family remains the same. Lydia and Jake Carter’s relationship is blossoming, too. They have been on weekend trips together and Lydia has even met his parents, which she didn’t even freak out about. Usually, the mere mention of ‘parents’ and Lydia has her rocket high heels on; and is out of there, followed by a text message of ‘it’s not you, it’s me.’
My birthday is fast approaching and Jonny said he wants to do something special. Instead of meeting at a hotel, somewhere in the country, he wants me to visit his home. To say I am surprised and anxious, is putting it mildly.
My birthday happens to fall on a Thursday, but I can’t tie in a meet with Jonny until the Friday, as that is when I have a trade show to attend in Kent. As soon as I have finished up there, Jonny has arranged for a driver to collect me and take me to London.
I am
relieved the driver isn’t to be Beef. Although he is definitely more receptive towards me these days, we still have a long way to go until I feel completely at ease with him. The only downside of a stay at Jonny’s, is I have to walk in with Miss Sour Puss herself, Erin Laurelson. If that isn’t torture enough, I also have to wear a disguise. Jonny doesn’t want anyone seeing my face for fear that questions will be asked.
The day before my birthday, I am at home catching up with chores around the house. Working four days a week means the house doesn’t get cleaned as often these days. Jonny wanted to pay for a cleaner to come in, but I declined his kind offer, as I didn’t want to raise eyebrows with Shawn.
I am busily cleaning the oven when Shawn comes in holding a swanky boutique bag. I smile as he walks over to me, looking very pleased with himself. “Hey you, get those oven gloves off and get your sexy ass over here.”
“I’m all dirty Hun, what is it?”
“Quick, come and see.” He beckons me over excitedly.
I stand up, feeling a little sweaty. Slowly pulling off the dirty, greasy gloves. “What is it you’ve got there, is it a gift for my birthday?” I ask.
Shawn grins. “It is, now have a look.”
I peek into the bag and see a beautiful turquoise fabric. I pull it out by the hanger and hold up the most gorgeous dress. It’s a vintage style 1950’s Rockabilly dress with a beautiful, heart-shaped bust and a flared skirt section with pretty pleats. Shawn has even bought the gorgeous matching petticoat to go with it.
I stand there in awe of this fabulous dress, simply too lost for words. “Do you like it, Babe?” Shawn asks.
“Do I like it? I bloody well love it! Thank you. It is stunning, Shawn.” I throw my arms around him.
“I have booked us a meal at that posh place in town for your birthday tomorrow night . . . you can wear that.” He has a radiant smile on his face and it’s moments like this that I realise why I am so terribly lucky to have this wonderful man for my husband. He is so thoughtful and sweet; I truly hate what I am doing to him. Is it possible to care about two people in two different ways? I know that’s utterly selfish and cruel, but I can’t control how I feel. Shawn is my rock: handsome, kind and safe. We have grown up together, married and have two beautiful daughters. He strives to make the girls and I happy because that is what makes him happy.
A Famous Affair Page 11
