by Melody Grace
But Finn? He makes me feel everything, so much that it scares me. The desire for him, my naked need; I’ve never felt so out-of-control as when I’m with him, like my chest is cracked wide open and my heart is beating, open and raw, offered up for him to do as he wants with it. I’m on the edge of the cliff, and just slightest sign from him -- the smallest hint at all -- and I would give it all to him. Hand him my heart, and soul, and relinquish myself to the fall.
This fire racing through my bloodstream both terrifies and intoxicates me too. It could leave us both in ashes, burn my whole world to the ground again.
But wouldn’t it be a beautiful blaze?
I hear another round of applause echo, so I pull myself back together and walk slowly back towards the party. As I’m heading down the hallway, the front door opens, and Sawyer steps inside. I do a double take. He looks different out of his work jeans and sweater. He’s wearing a smart button-down, looking cleanly-shaven and classically handsome.
“Eva.” He greets me with a smile. “How are you? I was hoping I’d see you here.”
“Umm, hi.” I blink, thrown. “You’re back!”
“I know, it feels like I was gone for weeks,” Sawyer agrees. “But you know how us veterinarians like to party.”
“Wild nights with all your research papers?” I joke.
Sawyer laughs. “Something like that. Anyway, how about you? How have you been?” He moves just a bit closer, leaning against the wall.
“Good, busy,” I say vaguely.
“Lots of work at the shelter?”
“Right.”
And diving headlong into emotional confusion over my ex, I silently add.
“That Edith’s a character, huh?” Sawyer continues, smiling affectionately at the thought. “I stopped by yesterday, and she gave me the third degree, quizzing me all about my intentions towards you.”
I groan, embarrassed. “I’m sorry, she likes to play matchmaker.”
“That’s okay.” Sawyer grins. “They’re only a little dishonorable, I promise.” He winks, and my heart plummets. Any other month, and I would be on cloud nine right now. A hot, single animal lover who wants to flirt with me? I should be melting. But with Finn in the next room – scruffy, dangerous, intoxicating Finn – I’m afraid to admit it, but no other man stands a chance.
“Listen,” I start, awkward. “There’s something you should know—”
I’m about to tell him that I’m too tied up in ancient history to think about dating him right now, when the cause of all my confusion emerges from the living room. Finn stops, taking us in.
“I don’t think we’ve been introduced,” he says, stepping forward with his hand outstretched. “Finn McKay.”
“Sawyer Green.” Sawyer shakes his hand, good natured. “Great to meet you. Are you a friend of Eva’s?” he asks.
“An old friend,” Finn says, giving me a look.
“Sawyer’s the new vet in town,” I speak up. “He’s been helping out at the rescue.”
“That’s great.” Finn’s voice is friendly, but there’s a weird vibe here all the same. Sawyer and he are assessing each other, casual on the surface, but I can tell something’s going on underneath. “Eva’s been volunteering there for years.”
“She said so,” Sawyer replies pleasantly. “She has a real gift with the animals. They all love her.”
“Everyone does.”
There’s a pause. I look back and forth between them. “You want to get a drink?” I ask Sawyer. “There’s a full bar, right through here.”
“Sounds good.” He smiles at me. “Good meeting you, Finn.”
“You too.” Finn nods. “Let me know if you need anything.”
I guide Sawyer through to the party and get him set up with a beer, my mind racing how I’m going to explain this one. But he beats me to it. “I’m guessing he’s who you wanted to talk to me about,” he says casually, and I nearly splutter on my drink.
“How did you know?”
Sawyer chuckles. “I’m not blind. Old boyfriend?”
I nod, feeling bad. “He just came back to town,” I try to explain. “And I wasn’t going to get involved, but—”
“Hey, it’s okay. I understand.” Sawyer gives me a rueful look. “Bad timing, the story of my life.”
“I’m sorry,” I say, feeling a twist of regret. “If I’d met you any other time—”
“I get it,” Sawyer cuts me off, smiling. “We’re good. But I still want to get that drink sometime. You can give me the inside scoop on this town. Friends?” he asks.
I nod, relieved. “Friends.”
Sawyer looks over my shoulder, and smiles. “If it makes you feel any better, your guy looks as if he’s about to challenge me to a duel.”
I turn. Finn is watching us, looking tense. Sawyer leans in a little closer, and murmurs in my ear. “A little jealousy can be good for a guy.”
“I’m not trying—”
“I know,” Sawyer reassures me. “But I’m happy to help.” He places a hand on my arm, still leaning in close. “I give him ten seconds…”
But it barely takes five before Finn cuts through the crowd and joins us again. “Finding everything okay?” he asks, a new note of steel in his voice.
“Sure. Eva’s being real helpful,” Sawyer drawls. He squeezes my shoulder.
Finn’s jaw clenches. “Is that so?”
“I’m lucky I met her,” Sawyer continues. “She’s really one of a kind.”
I flush, caught in Finn’s possessive stare, but I can’t help feeling a satisfied thrill. I hate playing games, but after acting so relaxed around me, he’s finally looking like he gives a damn.
“What about you, Eva?” Finn asks. “Are you having fun?”
His voice is dangerously silky. I smile.
“Yes, I am. Thanks again for hosting,” I add sweetly. “I’ve been wanting to introduce Sawyer, and this is the perfect chance for him to meet everyone. He can’t wait to settle in, since he’s going to be sticking around.”
“You’re just passing through, right?” Sawyer asks him.
Finn scowls. “I haven’t decided yet.”
“He’s just here for the month,” I tell Sawyer. “Then he’s back on the road again, back to his real life.”
“I never saw the appeal of big city life,” Sawyer muses. “As far as I’m concerned, you’ve got everything you need right here.” He holds my gaze, flirty, and I can almost feel Finn seething beside me.
“Eva?” Finn’s voice comes. “Can I talk to you a minute?”
“I’m kind of busy right now,” I tell him, not looking around.
“Eva. Now.”
Finn takes my arm, and before I can protest he steers me through the crowd. “Hey!” I try to stop him. “I was in the middle of something.”
“Clearly.” Finn doesn’t let go. He guides me down the hallway, looking around for something.
“Finn, let me go!” I demand. “What are you doing?”
“What I’ve been wanting to do ever since you walked in the damn house.” Finn yanks open a door and pushes me through it – right into a dark coat closet.
“Finn!” I protest again, turning, but my words are swallowed by his kiss.
Hot, hard, possessive. His mouth crashes down on mine, pushing me back until I’m up against the wall and there’s no escape from his passion, even if I tried.
Clinging to my last thread of sense, I wrench away. “Finn—”
He kisses me again, sliding both hands around my waist, his body hard against mine.
I know this is crazy, but my resolve wavers. This is sexy as hell, here in the dark with the party just a few paces away. I push him weakly. “We can’t,” I gasp. “We need to talk.”
“So talk.” Finn dips his head and kisses my neck. “I’ll just be busy, right here.” He bites down softly on my shoulder. My head spins.
Focus, Eva. Adult conversation.
Finn’s hands slide under my camisole, and God, his touch
is fire, igniting me all over again. Desire curls through me, and it’s impossible to ignore. He’s here, so close. All mine.
Talk later. Kiss now.
I give up and pull him down, greedy, loving the feel of his body, every last inch. Here in this dark cocoon, I can forget everything, everything except the wild touch of his hands, and the ache he brings, like my body is calling out for the one thing it needs more than anything in the world.
Him.
I kiss him back, sinking into the wildfire heat, and the tantalizing slide of his tongue deep in my mouth. I moan against him, and his body tenses in answer. He pulls back. “Tell me you haven’t done this with him,” Finn demands, his voice hoarse with lust. He slides his hand possessively over the curve of my breast, making me shudder. “Tell me he hasn’t felt you like this, or seen the way you look when you’re coming undone.”
I shake my head. “We never,” I manage. “We didn’t even go on a real date.”
“Good.” Finn scowls. “Because I was just about ready to knock him out for laying a hand on you back there.”
His fierce possession makes my pulse kick, but I feel a spark of anger, too. “You don’t get a say in who touches me,” I remind him crossly. “You don’t own me.”
“Don’t I?” Finn yanks me closer, sliding one hand between my legs. His touch finds me, through silk and lace, and presses softly. I gasp at the rush of pleasure, and Finn gives me a victorious smile. “Tell me that again when you’re begging me to let you come.”
Damn.
I’m torn between begging him right now, and showing him I’m not so easily controlled. I hate how easily my body responds to his dirty mouth and tempting hands. But I love it, too. Nobody ever made me feel this way.
Finn strokes me again, inching my skirt higher, but with super human strength I pull away. “Not here,” I manage. “Someone could walk in.”
“And?” he asks, a wicked glint in his eye.
I flush, and he chuckles. “OK, we’ll have it your way. Outside.”
Before I can point out that’s not what I meant, Finn pulls open the door and peers out. “All clear,” he says, and takes my hand, pulling me after him. He grabs a blanket from the closet behind us, and a bottle of champagne from the table in the hall, then ducks out the back door.
I hesitate.
Isn’t this what I’ve been fighting all along? If I walk out that door after him, there’s nothing but heartache waiting for me – and incredible, bone-deep pleasure.
But if I stay, I’m playing it safe, the way I’ve done for years now: a neat, careful life with a heart that never breaks, but doesn’t have a chance to swell or beat, either. No chance to feel the storm crackling with electricity, or know the rush of total release.
“Eva?”
Finn stands in the doorway. My Finn. He’s wearing that heartbreaker smile again, the one that always takes my breath away.
My heart aches for him. Sometimes I think it never stopped.
The past can stay hidden, I remind myself. Secrets don’t have to be told.
I make my choice, and follow.
Thirteen.
Outside, the air is still warm, and the blast of music and lights is softened, filtering into the dark. We walk in silence down the path behind the house, under the lanterns that are strung all the way to the dock. I expect him to sit on the end of the wooden jetty like we did all those years ago, but instead, Finn climbs down the rickety ladder, down to a row-boat that’s tethered there, bobbing gently on the water.
“Come on, I want to show you something.”
I carefully climb down and join him in the boat, my heart beating faster.
“Where are you taking me?” I ask, nervous. I take a seat on the narrow wooden bench opposite him, holding on to the side to keep my balance.
Finn gives me a wicked grin and reaches for the oars. “Someplace nobody can hear you scream.”
I laugh out loud, breaking the tension. “Way to sound like a serial killer!” I kick him lightly.
Finn gives a grin. “You know that’s what the French call it: le petit mort.”
My cheeks burn, and he laughs again. “You’re cute when you blush.”
“It’s dark out, you can’t even see my face.”
“I know you’re doing it anyway.”
He rows us down the creek with long, even strokes, until the bright lights of the house are swallowed up by the trees. Still, the moon is bright tonight, casting a silvery glow on the water and marshland as we glide on by.
“It’s so quiet out here,” I marvel, listening to the distant chirp of the crickets. “You must feel a long way from home.”
Finn shrugs. “LA isn’t home. Nowhere is, really. Even when I was here, it wasn’t about the place. Home is people to me.” I can’t see his expression clearly; I can only hear a note of emotion in his voice. Or maybe that’s just my mind playing tricks on me, because he barely skips a beat before adding in a teasing voice. “Now it’s just the two of us. You can’t bolt when you get self conscious.”
“But I can push you overboard,” I counter.
Finn laughs. “I could use the cold shower right about now.” My stomach curls. Me too. Finn looks around in the darkness. “Here we are,” he says, angling the boat off the main creek. “Watch your head.”
I duck just in time as we glide under an old cypress tree, the branches dipping heavily to skim the water. It’s like passing through a secret gate. Suddenly, the woods rear up, the creek collecting in a still, silent pool, fringed with trees and grassy riverbanks. Moonlight falls against the black ripples, and all I can hear is the hush of the forest and the trickle of water slipping over smooth, worn rocks. Everything is darkness, painted with silver reflections, private and alone.
“It’s beautiful,” I breathe, taking it in. There’s something almost enchanted about this hidden corner of the world, so secluded it’s like the rest of the universe doesn’t exist.
“I found it the other day.” Finn steers us to where the water gets shallow, then jumps out onto the shore. He tethers the boat to a tree branch, and offers his hand to help me out.
“You’ve been here a week.” I hold on tightly as the boat rocks beneath me, carefully stepping onto solid ground.
“I’m a man of many skills,” Finn laughs. “And you’ve only seen a couple.” He catches me around the waist and pulls me closer. I gasp, braced for another hard, all-consuming kiss, but this time, when his lips find mine, they’re slow and whisper soft.
I melt against him, the sweetness rushing through me like a drug. His hands move to cradle my cheeks, his mouth barely grazing mine, over and over until I’m mindless with the gentle pleasure of it. He kisses me like we have all the time in the world, and I feel him, everywhere. He tastes my lips; there’s the flicker of his tongue against mine. The warm night air sighs on my hot skin, and there’s the soft press of our bodies as he pulls me closer in his arms. I go to him, sink into him, lost in this moment I wish would never end, where nothing matters except the feel of him beneath my hands, and that simmering fire slowly burning hotter, brighter in my blood.
Finn comes up for air, his breath heavy on my cheek as we stand there, holding each other in the dark. I can feel his heartbeat, strong in his chest, and I wonder how it can beat so steadily when my own pulse is racing. His hands slip over me, skimming my bare shoulders and over my silky camisole, making me shiver with sensation and a low, curling lust.
“My sweet girl,” he whispers, kissing my skin so softly, it’s like I’m made of glass. He teases one finger down my arm, watching the skin pebble in its path. “Look at you.” He starts to follow the path of my goosebumps with a trail of soft kisses, but I’ve waited long enough. I tangle my fingers in his hair, and then bring his mouth back up to mine – where it belongs.
This time, I’m the one leading the pace.
Hotter, deeper, I kiss him with everything I have, trying to drown in the feel of him, so familiar and yet so brand-new. I must have kis
sed these lips a thousands times over, but it still feels like the first time – something darker, more intense than our teenage kisses could ever be. Now, there’s the soft scratch of beard against my skin, and a new hunger lurking just below the surface. His hands rove, clutching harder, and I twist in his arms, needing his touch more than ever to soothe this wildfire and quench the desperate thirst in me now.
He grips me tightly around the waist and lifts me like I weigh nothing at all, pushing me back until I’m up against a tree. He reaches for my skirt, hands hot on my thighs, but I pull back. It’s always been him, pushing me further to the brink. Him, making my world unravel beneath those skilled hands. It’s my turn now, to discover everything he’s become, to learn his body by heart all over again.
I unbuckle his belt, and sink to my knees.
I hear Finn inhale in a rush. The grass is damp on my bare legs, but it’s cool and a welcome balm to the fire raging through me. I ease his jeans open, and find he’s wearing nothing beneath them at all. His cock springs free, hard and hot in my hands.
God, this man is magnificent. I taste him slowly, every thick inch, savoring the feel of him between my lips, the salty taste. Finn’s body tenses, his hands moving to cradle my head closer.
“Eva.” He groans into the darkness, as I part my lips wider, and take him all the way. It’s a rush like no other, to tease him like this, pulling back to gently lick along his shaft, swirling over his head before I take him into my mouth again. Finn strains against me, trying to bury himself deeper. But I keep him hanging on, languidly tormenting him the way he’s done so many times to me. Power races through me, metallic and bright, as his breathing grows ragged, and I feel his body tremble to my touch. Closer to the edge, I drive him, never giving too much, just a taste, a whisper of breath against his skin. My hands close around him, pumping slowly in time with my mouth until Finn is panting in frustration.
I pull back, looking up at him as I brush my lips to the very tip. His head is thrown back, eyes shut, his face a mask of desperate need.
Now he knows how it feels to love him. To want so much and never get enough.
