I choked back a sob. I squeezed my hands into fists, trying to control the shaking.
“I know Mama, but we can’t help Patsy like this. Think about the good times, when she takes you rock hunting and long drives in the country. Don’t those things make you happy anymore?”
“This isn’t her; it’s the evil inside her. Get out!” Mama shrieked. Her eyes narrowed, staring at Patsy, seeing if the evil had left.
Between the blood beginning to pool on the kitchen linoleum, and the light bouncing off the blade, I stepped backwards, almost losing my balance. I dug my fingernails into the palm of my hands to help me stay focused.
“Don’t hurt her anymore, Mama. Give me the knife and we can talk through this. I love you; you’re a good woman, a good mother and friend. Please, let me help.”
I thought the knife lowered just a bit. She turned her head towards me, still pinning Patsy to the floor, but at least I had gained her attention.
“She’s crazy,” she said between gritted teeth.
“I know, Mama, but this isn’t anything you and I can’t take care of, right? We’re a team. You and I stick together no matter what. Don’t we?”
She stared at me as though she’d never seen me before, questioning if what I said was true, or if I was a stranger standing in her living room. I attempted a smile, showing her she could trust me. I stood there, locking eyes with her, for what seemed an eternity. I waited for a glint of sanity to reappear.
Something inside me shifted, and a long-lost strength boiled to life deep inside me. I’m not sure where it came from. Maybe it was the look of terror on Patsy’s face, or Dr. Unger’s words inside my head that this behavior wasn’t normal.
Before I realized it, I stood behind Mama, and grabbed her wrist. My fingers dug into her flesh, and I wrenched the butcher knife from her with my other hand. It clattered to the floor, and I kicked it out of her reach. . She didn’t even fight me. The fight seemed to have left her.
She looked at Patsy and back at me, tears welling in her eyes. She had returned from the tormented part of her.
“Let me help you up, Mama,” I said, placing my arm under hers. It was no small feat lifting her off Patsy. She seemed stiff and unable to move. After a few moments, I had Mama standing on her feet. I didn’t dare glance down at Patsy, but continued to guide Mama to their bedroom. She sat down on the edge of her bed and I fluffed her pillows for her.
“Mama, lie down and I’ll place a few pillows under your feet. It will help you feel better.”
“There’s nothing wrong with me. She started it; she always starts it by saying something mean.”
“I know she does. It’s not your fault, Mama.” I placed a kiss on her forehead. “I’m going to get you some juice. I’ll come right back.”
I walked into the kitchen, not seeing Patsy anywhere, but the small pool of blood remained on the floor. I sprayed it with bleach water and wiped it up. I hoped it wouldn’t stain the floor. Such a stupid thought, but we were stained enough already. I didn’t need to see it on our floor everyday as a reminder.
I took Mama her juice, and found her sleeping with her mouth open and a soft snore filling the room. She would sleep for several hours. She always did. I placed her juice on the night stand and pulled the door closed behind me.
I grabbed the phone and ran downstairs, locking my bedroom door behind me. I rifled through my purse for Dr. Unger’s emergency number. Our conversation consisted of his giving me specific instructions. After we hung up, I slumped to the floor, my body wracked with sobs. I didn’t allow myself to feel for long. I needed to find Patsy and see if she was okay, and our day wasn’t over yet.
I found Patsy crouched in Krissy’s bedroom closet. I reached towards her, and helped her from her hiding place. We made our way upstairs as the ambulance pulled into the driveway, a police car right behind it. Patsy and I greeted them at the deck. I briefed them on the situation, and then the police escorted us down the driveway. The emergency medics entered our home. I waited in the backseat of the police car while Patsy answered their questions. I tried to focus on what she said, but Mama’s screams broke my concentration. I hopped out of the car and ran up the driveway when the female officer grabbed my arm.
“Please stay here. They won’t hurt her.”
“That’s my Mama,” I whispered.
Moments later the medics emerged carrying the stretcher with Mama strapped to it. As they rolled past me, I saw her face contorted with anger and fear.
“You stupid bitch!” she spat at me.
I stood stunned. No words formed my reply. The medics loaded the stretcher into the ambulance, and the doors clicked with finality.
I’m not sure how long I stood in the driveway after the ambulance and police left. Patsy finally reached for my hand, and led me up to the house. Tears slid down my cheeks thinking of my graduation ceremony tonight. I wouldn’t look into the audience and see Mama clap and cheer for me. I knew I’d made the right decision though, no matter how much my heart broke.
A sudden light filled the sky as the last dark cloud passed. I ascended the stairs to our deck, and stopped, turning towards the sun. I allowed it to warm my skin, and wipe away my tears.
Tears in the Sun Page 2
