by Vi Carter
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
WILLOW
A knock at my door I’d gladly ignore, but I know if I stay here, I’ll end up turning the phone back on.
“Would you like to go for a walk?” Luke smiles down at me.
I slip out of my room and close the door behind me, forcing Luke to take a few steps back.
“I’m going to be really honest with you.”
Luke scrubs his chin. “Okay.”
“I know my mother is encouraging this, but I’m not ready.”
His smile widens and I’m not sure how to feel about his response. “We can always go for a walk as friends.”
Friends.
What does that mean? Someone you share your secrets with, someone who makes you laugh, someone who holds you when you cry.
“I don’t think I’d be a very good friend, Luke.” I didn’t want to hurt him, so I was letting him down gently.
He stuffs his hands in his royal blue jacket. “Let me be the judge of that.”
He’s staring at me, and I don’t know what more I can say right now.
I can pretend. I had to remind myself I’ve done it my whole life. I let my smile form on my lips. “Friends could work.”
He smiles in victory and widens his hand in front of him. “Ladies first.”
I move down the hall and pass through the main seating area. Josh still lounges on the armchair. His eyes are closed, but I can tell he isn’t asleep.
“Josh. Willow and I are going for a walk.”
I cringe at how loud Luke is. Did he have to announce it so loud like it was more than what it was?
I don’t wait to hear Josh’s response but go outside. It’s cold, and I like the bite in the air. It pierces through my light cardigan.
Luke rubs his hand together before his gaze roams across me. He starts to unzip his jacket.
“No, don’t. I’m not cold.”
He pauses. “It’s pretty cold.”
“I like the cold.”
He slowly zips his jacket back up. “If you change your mind...”
I nod and step out on the gravel that surrounds the cabin.
“We don’t get to see you much outside of Bible study.”
The fields around us are covered in tall grass. There is nothing around us, only flat ground. To the left, I see the outline of distant mountains.
“I keep to myself.” I’m careful where I step. The ground sinks under my feet from the recent downpour.
“It’s nice that you are with us.”
My stomach tightens. “It’s nice being here.” That is true. I feel almost at peace in this moment, standing knee-deep in grass, with nothing around me. It would be nicer if I were alone. What would Rian think of this place? Butterflies erupt just thinking about those moss-green eyes and the way his hands felt on my skin. I shiver.
“You are cold.”
I have to stop Luke again from removing his jacket. He’s more reluctant this time and doesn’t zip it back up but keeps it on.
“You said painting made you sad because your brother taught you. Is he still with us?”
“Yeah.” A pain in my chest feels so physical that I rub it.
“I just assumed he wasn’t with us.”
I glance at Luke for the first time since leaving. His gaze is heavy on me, and I don’t want him to look at me like that.
“I told you I wouldn’t make a good friend. I don’t like talking about myself. I think we should go back.”
“No. I’m sorry. Let’s walk. Just walk.” He forces a smile and starts to walk but stops after two steps to see if I am following him.
I do and when he stops talking, I actually enjoy the silence that the outside offers. It’s different from the silence of a room.
“My father died when I was three.”
“I’m sorry for your loss,” I say automatically.
Luke laughs. “I didn’t know him, but he sounded like a great guy.”
I don’t want to ask questions but feel I should. “What happened?”
“He fell asleep behind the wheel of his jeep coming home from a twelve-hour shift.”
“I’m sorry,” I say again with no idea what to say now. He’s broken the silence and I’ve lost the moment of peace that I had found here briefly.
He goes silent, but I can sense him glancing at me. He was sharing. He wanted to share.
“Willow!” Barb is running across the field with her red curly hair bouncing behind her. She looks like something from an old film.
“I told Josh we were going for a walk.” Luke takes large steps back towards Barb, and he isn’t hiding his impatience.
“Josh is asleep. Can I join?” She’s smiling, and I can sense the devilment in her.
“Why don’t you finish the walk with Luke. I need to use the bathroom, anyway.”
Both of them start to protest.
“I’ll catch up.” I fold my arms across my chest and make my way back to the cabin. When I reach the main door, I finally look back to see Luke and Barb walking deeper into the fields.
Josh is still pretending to be asleep on the chair as I pass him. The phone is bothering me too much. Going to my room, I rummage through my bag and take it out again. Why did my mother give it back to me? I can’t figure out her motives, but her conversation with Lacy and her asking questions about Rian—all feels wrong to me.
I turn on the phone and immediately place it on silent. I stare at it for a few moments and when no missed call comes up, I stuff it under my pillow and return to the main room.
Laura, Maria, and Casey are in the kitchen making food. Their laughter slowly filters through the cabin, and I envy them.
“Come on in.” Laura is the first to notice me, and I step into the kitchen with my hands folded behind my back.
“We are making supper. Father Cooney will be back for prayers, and then he’s gone for the night.” Laura mixes up the salad in a bowl as she speaks.
Maria grabs some place mats and knives and forks. She pauses when she’s nearly past me. “It’s really nice to have you here, Willow.”
“Thanks.” I dig my nails into my wrist, and the pain has me releasing my arm.
“I love your name.” Casey glances at me over her shoulder as she flips a steak on the pan.
“Thanks.” Her words have me stepping further into the room.
Let’s pretend.
I force a smile, and I’m someone else. “So, what can I do to help?”
“You could cut up some onions,” Casey answers me.
I move around Laura and grab a large onion and knife. “You know the trick is to breathe through your nose,” I say as I slice the onion six times before turning it and doing the same. I don’t cut the whole way down. Turning it on its side, I chop and small squares of onion filter onto the chopping board.
After three onions, my eyes start to water, and I step away. “Or not,” I say, wiping tears from my eyes. Laura, beside me, laughs and blows her bangs out of her eyes. She blinks and tears fall. “Jesus, they are nasty onions.”
The front door opens, and I can hear Barb before I even see her. She bounces into the kitchen full of life, and her eyes widen in surprise to see me helping.
“Someone give me a job, so I don’t attack Luke.” Her voice is good-humoured, but I wonder what happened.
“I thought I told you that Willow and I were going for a walk?” Luke’s voice carries clearly into the kitchen.
“Yeah, I fell asleep.” Josh doesn’t sound sleepy at all and makes me aware that I don’t know these people at all or their dynamics with each other.
“What happened?” Casey steps away from the pan and hands Barb a bowl full of mushrooms. “Chop them.”
She returns to the stove.
“I mean, he’d bore anyone to death.” Barb starts, and I realize I like the sound of her voice. I smile a lot internally at her description of Luke. “I really think I’d rather watch paint dry than have another conversation with him.”
Laura laughs and bumps her hip with Barb. “Don’t be mean. He isn’t that bad.”
“Besides, he can hear you,” Maria says, as she passes us with glasses.
“I really don’t care. I’m not one to hide my feelings.” Barb chops the mushrooms like she’s ready to hurt someone. We work well together, and the meal is set by the time Father Cooney arrives.
Everyone eats, chats, and laughs. I’ve never been part of something like this before, and I think if I could stay here and pretend, I could really like it.
After food, we sit down and pray for a while. Once Father Cooney closes our prayer, Barb bounces around, waiting for him to leave. He sits back in one of the large armchairs, and he doesn’t look like he’s going anywhere. I leave them and return to my room to check my phone. I have no more missed calls.
“Are you okay?” Luke knocks on the frame of my door and stands in the threshold, blocking the doorway.
“Yes.” I tuck the phone back under my pillow and face him.
“I heard Barb going on about me.”
His smile tells me he isn’t offended. “I don’t blame her,” he says, lingering at the door. I think he is waiting for me to invite him in, but I’m not going to. It's like a really odd standoff or something.
“I’m going to be honest. I didn’t want to spend time with Barb today. I had really hoped that we could spend time together.”
I’m ready to reinforce my earlier words; as I take a step towards Luke, he moves two feet back as I stand on the door threshold.
“Oh, my God! I call dibs.” Barb’s breathy words disrupt my thoughts.
“What are you doing here?” Father Cooney asks, and both Luke and I move up the hall. I don’t get far when Rian comes into view. His moss-green eyes soften when they land on me, but a savagery enters them when they land on Luke. As he walks towards us, I’m shaking my head.
“Rian, you can’t be here.” Father Cooney calls, and I’m frozen in place because this can’t be happening. Why is he here? I snap out of my frozen stance as Father Cooney appears, and everyone else is behind him. Barb's eyes are alight like a movie star just entered. Everyone else is just watching. I step in front of Luke, and Rian looks at me.
“What are you doing?” My voice is low, but everyone is packed too tightly into the hallway, and I know they all hear me.
“What are you doing?” His words are sharp, and my heart starts to rage in my chest.
I force a smile and look at Father Cooney. “It’s okay, Father. If I could just have a moment?” The tremble in my voice has me swallowing back the anxiety that is building inside me. I’m praying to God that he agrees, and my legs threaten to buckle when he finally gives his approval.
“Come on, everyone.” Father Cooney ushers everyone back into the sitting room. I glance at Rian, and he’s staring at me like he’s ready to crack at any second.
“Go on, Luke. I’ll only be a moment.” I speak without looking away from Rian.
When Luke doesn’t move, I quickly glance at him over my shoulder. “Luke.” His gaze moves to me, and he exhales loudly.
“I can stay.” His words are gentle.
Rian’s laughter has me cringing. “Do stay,” Rian tells him.
“Rian, I want to talk to you alone.” I step closer to Rian and die a little inside from how this might look to Luke. No one can know. I don’t need any more people judging me.
“Luke, please. I want a moment with my step-brother.”
Rian’s lips tug up into a sneer, and he nods like he knows I’m embarrassed. I want to slap him. This is his fault; he had no right to be here.
Luke steps around me, and I reach out and place a hand on Rian’s chest, begging him not to move.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
WILLOW
“What are you doing here?” I remove my hand from his chest. His heart is pounding against my palm, and I can almost taste the want for violence that is emanating off him.
“I told you before that you are mine.” He steps closer.
I can’t let anyone see this. “We can talk outside.”
His sneer grows, and I swallow the saliva that pools in my mouth.
I take a step around him, and I am surprised when he follows. Everyone grows silent in the sitting room.
“Father, I’m just stepping outside. I won’t be long.” I force a smile and refuse to meet anyone else’s gaze.
“I don’t think that’s wise.” Luke steps forward.
“You want to come out and join us?” Rian steps up beside me, and I want to curl up and let the ground take me.
“Father, I don’t think Willow going with Rian is wise.”
“Luke. What I do is none of your business.” My words are louder than I intend, but I didn’t want someone else hurt because of me.
“Willow, Luke is correct.”
Father Cooney folds his gentle hands in front of him. “Rian, I think it’s best that you leave.”
Luke smirks and looks at Rian smugly. Rian stiffens, and I feel his energy change a second before he lunges at Luke.
Everyone is screaming as he grabs Luke. I’m frozen when his fist smashes into Luke’s face. Blood seems to explode everywhere. Father Cooney and Josh try to drag Rian away. They get thrown back like pins being knocked over by a bowling ball.
Casey’s cries snap me out of my frozen state, and I’m running towards Rian and Luke. I grip Rian’s arm, trying to stop him.
“Stop it!” He pauses and shakes me off, his fist hitting Luke’s face again. All I see is Chad’s face unrecognizable in the bed.
I grab Rian’s arm again. “Please!” My scream has the whole room falling silent. Father Cooney stands up, his face red with anger.
“Let him go.” I refuse to release Rian’s arm. He opens his fingers, and Luke tumbles to the ground.
“Get out.” I slam both hands into Rian’s chest. Tears leak from my eyes that I can’t control. What he just did was barbaric.
“I said, get out.” I slam my fists into his chest this time, and I don’t want to stop. I want him to hurt as much as I do right now.
His jaw clenches, and I think he’s going to leave until he reaches out and grabs my arm.
“Let me go.” I try to pull away from him, but his grip is like iron.
“Rian, you let Willow go.” Father Cooney steps in our way, and I can’t bear to see anyone else get hurt.
I stop fighting. “It’s okay, Father. I’ll only be a moment.” I swallow tears. Father Cooney doesn’t look happy, and I’m sure the moment we leave, he’ll either ring the cops or my mother.
The moment we get outside, Rian releases my arm. He won’t look at me, and I can see it’s taking a lot of control for him to stay still right now.
“That boy did nothing wrong.” My lip trembles as I speak.
Rian wheels on me, and I take two quick steps back as his anger grows with his steps. “You are mine. Not his.”
His words have me glancing back at the house.
“Are you afraid of them hearing?” Rian’s lips tug up into a cruel smile as he takes another step towards me and grips my chain painfully. “Are you afraid of them knowing that you wanted me to fuck you?”
I rip my face out of his hand and start to walk fast. “I told you, this was over,” I bark out into the night air. “Why won’t you listen to me?”
“I took you for a lot of things,” Rian’s voice is lowered. “But not a coward.”
“You have no idea who I am!” I shout. How dare he judge me.
His face softens. “I think I do.”
Curtains move on the cabin window. “You should go.” I fold my arms across my chest.
“You think I’m going to leave you here with Luke?” The cruelty returns to his voice.
“What exactly do you think I’m doing here? Fucking Luke? Is that it?”
“Don’t push me, Willow.” Rian’s words are barely controlled, and I know pushing him won’t get me anywhere.
“He likes me, I tol
d him I’m not interested. So we agreed to be friends.”
Rian doesn’t move.
“You need to leave. I’m sure the police are on their way.”
Rian sneers. “I don’t run, Willow. You should know that by now.”
“How did you find me?”
“I tracked your phone.” Rian takes a step towards me, and I don’t want him near me. I start to walk. The night is cold, but I don’t want anyone watching us.
Rian walks beside me, and I’m thinking about walking this field with Luke, how different it feels with Rian. I glance at him, and he’s watching me with his hauntingly beautiful eyes.
“I’m sorry about your father.”
The world tilts, and my stomach rebels. The ground shifts, and my legs buckle.
“Jesus, Willow.” Rian is beside me, gripping me. “Talk to me about it.”
The air grows thinner by the second, and I’m picturing him so clearly. His brains splattered against the wall—Blood streaming down his chest. The cushions splattered around him.
“When I found out he took his life, all I could think about was you cutting yourself.”
It’s like someone slapped me across the face. “Took his life?” The words tumble from my lips, and Rian’s large hands grip either side of my face.
“It must have been terrifying at ten to have found him. I can’t get that image of you out of my head.”
I’m sinking further into the ground. A sob tears from my lips and transforms itself into a cry of pain before it evolves into laughter. “Who told you that?” I blink and tears spill.
“My father. Willow, I’m here.” He’s still gripping my face, forcing me to look him in the eyes. More laughter bubbles up, and I can’t stop it. My body temperature spikes, and I’m sobbing again. Rian drags me against his chest, and I give in, sinking into him. The fight for me to get away from my past is slipping hard and fast, and I am starting to feel like I’m drunk or what I would imagine drunk to be.
I push away from Rian. He jolts back and my hand collides with his face. The sound is loud in the dead of night and I strike him again. He doesn’t stop me and I hate him for that. I hate him for allowing me this. My mouth crashes down on his, and he responds instantly to my lips. Pushing him back roughly, I climb on top of him. His cock is rock hard already, and when I bend over him, he grabs my face stopping me.
