by Vi Carter
“What’s wrong?” He places a kiss on my neck.
“What if someone comes in?” I try to take the fear out of my voice.
“I’ll tell them to get the fuck out.” He’s reaching for my blouse and I stop him. My core has tightened, and I’m already damp with a want for Rian, but I can’t sleep with him when I’m ready to sell him out. I take his face in my hands and kiss him softly. I hope he can taste the apology in my kiss.
“Later.” I smile into his moss-green eyes.
“I’ll hold you to it.” His smiling lips touch mine, and my heart cracks.
“If you ever need to tell me anything, you know I’m here. Right?”
Oh, God. More guilt swirls inside me. “Yeah.” I try to scoot off the counter, but Rian’s heavy hands clamp down on my thighs.
“You know I can fix any problem. If anyone is bothering you, I can remove them.”
He would kill me if he found out. Fear has my tongue heavy in my mouth.
Rian removes his left hand and reaches up, touching my face. “I’d do anything for you.”
“I know.” I can’t hear my words over the blood that roars in my ears.
He holds me in place and I am holding my breath when I start to get dizzy. He leans out and helps me off the counter. I glance at him but he isn’t looking at me. There is a sense of disappointment showing with how heavy his shoulders are.
We go back out, and I spend the rest of the day shadowing Rian. My stomach rolls every time I think of the tape in my sock. Fox is around a lot and I don’t know if I’m being paranoid, but he keeps looking at me.
“Did the name on the paper ring a bell?” He asks Rian.
“Maybe.” Rian’s voice is distant, like he’s stuck someplace else. The betrayal I feel is like slow falling teardrops that just might overflow. I place my hands behind my back and squeeze my damaged wrist. The pain is too minimal and panic sets in. It’s like hitting the buzzer for more morphine—only the drip is empty.
“Are you okay?” I snap my attention to Rian. He has stopped walking, and so has Fox. Both of them are watching me.
“Yes. Did you ask me something?” My heart crashes in my chest.
“I wanted to take you for lunch.”
The idea of food has me feeling sick.
Rian takes a step closer to me. “Willow, you seriously don’t look well.”
“Yeah, I think I have a stomach ache.” It isn’t a lie. The pain is manifesting itself, and it is growing with each guilty second.
“I’ll take you home.” I nod as he reaches for my hand. I allow him to take my fingers in his.
“Don’t you want to go over our plan?” Fox’s face tenses.
“I’m taking Willow home.” Rian starts to walk.
“I can get a taxi,” I say, but my words fall on deaf ears like I knew they would.
“Rian.” I try to stop him but he keeps walking.
“I’m taking you home, Willow. I can call a doctor. You seriously don’t look well.” I hate the worry in his eyes.
I pull my hand from his as we approach the car. I move faster. “I just need sleep.” I climb into his Bentley and strap on my seatbelt. Shifting forward, my trousers have risen. Panic tears through me at the thoughts of him seeing the tape. I can’t look at him; fear has me staring at the floor.
“What are you hiding?” Rian’s voice has my spine snapping straight, and the fear of God enters my body.
I’ve been caught.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
WILLOW
Rian hadn’t seen the tape, but he knew something was wrong with me.
“I just need to rest. I think it’s a stomach bug.” That was the excuse. By the time I got home, I had an actual headache and stomach ache. I didn’t pause as I raced to my room. I couldn’t be around Rian for one more second. He had followed me and knocked several times on my room door. With my back firmly against the door, I had closed my eyes and waited until he left.
Pacing, my hands feel itchy, and I’ve never felt more like a trapped animal than I do now. The tape in my hand has my vision blurring. I uncurl my hands and look at the small piece of plastic that could do so much.
I re-wrap my fingers around it and leave my room. Entering the sitting room, I walk with a purpose to Henry’s small bar. Taking a bottle of vodka off the shelf, I take it with me as I slip out the backdoor. I’d always liked the smell of vodka, and now for the first time, I would allow myself to taste it. I needed all these feelings to go away. Isn’t that why people drank, to bury something?
I keep walking until I hit the fence line at the back of the house. The mature garden with its swooping trees, makes me feel like I found a secret location that shelters only me. Sitting on the damp grass, I open the cap on the vodka. I wonder what demons my father was running from when he drank every night. I squeeze my eyes when I picture him dead on the couch.
The liquid burns as it slides down my throat. I take a deep breath. The vodka is sharper than I thought it would be.
You can do this, Willow, I tell myself as I take another drink. Each one is less impactful. Opening my hand again, I glare at the tape. I had to hand it over. I still hadn’t called Detective Lacy. His card and my phone felt heavy in my pocket. I look away from the tape and lie back on the grass. The sky is darkening with a promise of rain.
I could always bow out. I laugh. I already know I won’t. I’m a coward, and I want to stay. I don’t want to die.
No, instead, you will destroy everyone else.
I drink more, wondering why it isn’t numbing me. Anger bubbles under the surface.
“I had to do it,” I speak to the sky as tears make a pathway down the side of my face.
“What choice did I have?” I shout at the trees before drinking as much as I can from the bottle. It isn’t working. It isn’t numbing me.
Laughter rips from me. “I’m broken.” That’s why it isn’t working. I’m not normal.
Pushing the tape into my pocket, I get up off the damp grass and start back to the house. The world tilts and I reach out for the tree beside me. I close my eyes, until the dizziness passes before opening my eyes again. I don’t want to go back.
You don’t have to.
I listen to the voice in my head and leave the garden through the side gate that leads out onto the street, and I just walk and drink. The sky darkens, and for the first time, I think the alcohol is working because as the rain spills, I feel happy.
What’s wrong with you?
My mother’s voice has me spinning around. The world spins with me and it takes a moment before the buildings stop moving. My mother isn’t here. I’m narrowing my eyes into the sheet of rain, but I’m alone. I lift the bottle to my lips to realize it’s empty. Throwing it across the street, the glass shatters and the noise has me grinning. I stumble further down the road. I have no idea where I am going. I needed more alcohol. It was starting to work when I ran out.
I stop and cling to a lamp post as I look around me for a liquor store. A light shines across the street, I can’t make out the structure as the world shifts again. Closing my eyes, I try to find my focus. His head lay back at an odd angle, blood still oozed down his chest. He had no idea that it would all end. He never saw it coming. My legs grow numb and water soaks into my trousers. Opening my eyes, I look up at the black sky. The rain has stopped, I have no idea when that happened. A phone rings in the distance and I look around me. Reaching in, I take the phone that Rian gave me out of my pocket. I squint but can’t make out the name on the front. A shiver assaults me as I become aware of the cold.
I’m pressing the green button before I hold the phone up to my ear. It continues to ring. I keep jabbing and when the ringing stops, I try to speak.
“Hello” My tongue is swollen, my voice is weird. Panic jolts through my system.
“Where are you?”
I smile at Rian’s voice. “Where are you?” I lie back down but quickly get up as cold liquid soaks my back. I need to get up.
> “Willow, tell me where you are.”
I grip the lamp post and try to pull myself up. “On the ground right now.” I laugh as I drag myself up the pole.
“Where?”
“Why are you shouting?” I didn’t like when he did that. “Don’t shout at me.”
I grip the pole tighter and the phone slips from my fingers. I’m back on the ground trying to pick it up. “Hello.” The line is dead. Stuffing the phone in my pocket, I manage to stand. I’m soaked through. Peeling off my cardigan takes a lot of effort, and I can’t answer the phone as my cardigan has wrapped itself around one of my arms and won’t come off. Standing on the other sleeve, I manage to rip it off. I smile as I stomp on the cardigan. I always hated it. A car engine hums close by, and I glance over my shoulder. A black vehicle slows down across the road until it comes to a stop. I hang onto the lamp post as I stare at the tinted windows. Waving, I’m thinking that I could get a lift. I have no idea where I am. I release the lamp post and take a step out onto the road. The driver slowly rolls down his window. I’m nearly there. Brown eyes stare back at me and I stumble in the middle of the road. I’m staring at a ghost. I close my eyes before opening them again.
“Aran?” His name falls from my lips and I’m shaking my head.
His gaze is hardened with anger and I’m taking a step away from the car. Every alarm in my system is screaming at me to run.
“I’m sorry.” My vision blurs as my brother continues to stare at me. The click of his door opening has my heart tripping over itself.
“I’m so sorry.”
The judgement on my brother’s face is too much, and I start running down the middle of the street. I can hear the squeal of his tires as he turns the car and races after me.
My legs pump hard and fast as I push my body until my lungs burn. Glancing over my shoulder, I skip off the road and onto the sidewalk, as my brother nearly mows me down. I had no idea what would happen, but him trying to kill me, wasn’t something I had ever envisioned. I jump into someone’s garden as his tires squeal, and he’s turning back around.
My fist beats the door rapidly. “Help me!”
Lights come on inside the house, but no one answers as I continue to bang on the door. Aran has driven back, and now that I know his intentions, I can’t stop. I hop the fence into the next garden. The engine screams and my heart nearly rips from my chest as I dash down a pathway and into someone else's back garden. A small shed at the back becomes my focus. The door isn’t locked and I slip in. My breathing is too loud.
A scream lodges in my throat as my phone rings. I can’t answer it quickly enough. I hunker down with the phone.
“Hello.”
“Willow, don’t hang up.”
“Rian.” I hear a car engine close by. I cover my mouth with my hand.
“Where are you?”
I can’t answer him. I rise slowly and try to see out of one of the small windows, but it’s clouded over with dirt. I move deeper into the shed as the car abruptly stops.
“I’m hiding,” I whisper, but I’m not sure he can hear me.
“Where?” His word is growled, I can hear the car engine roar in the background.
“In someone’s shed.” I close my eyes and try to will my heart to slow down.
“Who are you hiding from?”
I hear the footsteps. He found me. I hold my breath as Rian continues to ask me where I am. I don’t hang up because I can’t afford to have him ring me back. Maybe this is what I deserved. This is my fate. The door rattles and I tighten my hold on the phone.
“Jesus, Willow, answer me. Are you okay?”
Rian’s voice is the only thing keeping me sane as the door opens. I’m ready to dash, when an elderly man looks in at me.
“Are you in trouble?” His voice is gentle. He reaches in and flicks on the light in the shed.
“Yes.” I manage to squeeze out.
“Come on inside. We’ll get you dried.”
“Don’t go anywhere with him.” Rian’s voice is loud in the phone and I bring it to my ear.
“I’m sorry, Rian.” I hang up and switch off the phone.
I get up and follow the old man into his house. He gives me a towel and I start to dry myself off. Taking the Detective’s card out of my pocket, I can barely make out the number.
“Can I use your phone?”
The old man glances at my pocket, where I stuffed my phone. “It has no credit.” I explain.
“In the hall.” I walk into the hall with the towel in hand, and the card. I swallow the saliva as it pools in my mouth. I could prolong this, but I’d be no further on. Picking up the phone, I dial Detective Lacy’s number. He answers on the second ring.
“It’s me. I have the evidence you wanted.”
“What is it you have?”
Guilt churns in my stomach and I glance at the old man who stands in the doorway watching me. Maybe he’s worried about his bill.
“A recording.”
“Of what, Willow?”
“His confession to killing Chad,” I say.
“I can meet you at nine thirty at your house. I’ll just do a routine questioning.”
My chest grows heavy and my eyes burn as I close them. I can’t do this.
“Willow.” Lacy’s voice sounds louder and I open my eyes. Wiping away falling tears, I glance once again at the doorway, but the old man is no longer there.
Mail on the side table beside the phone has me feeling stupid. I’m on the same street as our house. I hadn’t gone far before falling down.
“Willow.” Detective Lacy calls again.
“Yes, I’ll see you in an hour.” I hang up and place the towel on the last step of the stairs before walking out the front door and into the night to sell my soul to the devil. I think it always belonged to him, anyway.
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
RIAN
She turned off the phone and normally I would ring Fredrick, but that’s not possible now. I have no idea where to look. She sounded drunk or high. I try not to let fear take root as I drive back home slowly. I had spotted that black car again and now that I knew who the driver was, I knew he wasn’t following me but Willow. Aran Forks was her brother. I felt frustrated with how much she keeps hidden from me.
A flash of blonde hair has my heart pounding. Pulling over, I jump out and Willow freezes when her puffy red eyes land on me. I step in puddles before wrapping her in my arms. She doesn’t respond initially, but eventually relaxes into my touch. My mind won’t slow.
“What happened?” My heart races too fast when her small fists tighten onto my shirt and she shakes with silent sobs.
“You have to tell me.” I’m pushing her back, making her look at me.
“I… I…” Tears stream down her face and the smell of alcohol off her breath frightens me.
“I got drunk.” She continues on, and I’ve never seen her look so broken. “I thought someone was chasing me.” She shakes her head. “Some old man helped me get dry and let me use his phone.” She sniffles and buries her head back into my chest.
All I know is that she didn’t call me. “Who did you call?”
“What?”
“You said you used the man’s phone.”
“I tried to ring my mother, but she didn’t answer.” The lie has me leading her to the car. I had no idea what was going on, but her avoidance of the truth is getting harder to deal with. I get in and start the car, but I don’t move.
“I love you, Willow.” I turn to her and she’s curled up in a ball like she went through hell. “You have to tell me what’s going on.”
“I’m just a mess.” She finally looks at me. “I’m not a good person.”
“Who said that?” I’m ready to tear the person down.
She gives a short laugh. “I did.” There is no humor in her laugh, it’s filled with so much sadness.
“Aran Forks?”
Her face pales further as she stares at me. I hate how much she trembles, and
how damp her clothes are. I want to know what she just went through.
She shakes her head and continues to stare at me. I tighten my hands into fists so as not to reach out and shake her. I want the truth.
“Your brother,” I bark since she isn’t forthcoming. “Why is he following you?”
When Fox had given me the name and address of the person that Fredrick had gotten for me, I would never have put two and two together. Only my conversation with Catherine about her husband recently, told me exactly who he was.
My hands collide with the steering wheel and she jumps like I might strike her.
“Give me something, Willow.” I try to control my temper.
“Yes, he’s my brother. None of this matters.” Her voice sounds dead.
I reach across and grip her shoulders, dragging her to face me. “Everything matters.” I search her beautiful face. “You matter to me.” So fucking much. “What aren’t you telling me? Did you ring him?”
She closes her eyes and tuts while shaking her head. “Have you ever felt like you’ve been backed into a corner?”
I’m frustrated, but I take a moment to answer. “No. There is no such thing. There is always a way out.”
She starts to shiver more and I release her and turn up the heat. Rummaging in the back of the car, I find one of my jackets. She takes it and wraps it around her shoulders. I love when she leans her face in and inhales.
“Why did you or your mother never mention your brother?”
