Someone with her history tossed into another high intensity situation, alone at that, would have a breaking point.
The guilt was something he got on a personal level. No matter what anyone said he couldn’t forgive himself for being the brother that survived. He had the weight of one person on his shoulders. Tanya bore the imagined responsibility for dozens of women forced into a cult. The strength it had to take for her to move forward, to do something about it, that was truly remarkable. If she didn’t break down at some point, she wouldn’t be human.
Tanya lifted her head from his shoulder and relaxed her hold just enough to straighten. She stared at him, her gaze roving over his face as though she were reading him like a book. What did she see when she looked at him like that? Was she searching for something? What was on her mind?
“I’m going to ask you to do something, and I want you to consider it before dismissing it, okay?” She was so serious now.
“What’s on your mind?” He pushed her hair behind her ear. Who did she want him to kill?
“I want us to have sex.”
Isaac stared, aware his mouth was now hanging open.
“Before you say no, I have reasons.” She tightened her hold around his neck.
Of course she did.
He swallowed and closed his mouth.
“I’m listening...”
“First and simplest, sex is a relaxing activity. Endorphins, dopamine, all that stuff.”
Isaac bit back a snort. Relaxing activity. That was one way to describe it.
“Second, and much more complicated, I’ve not always been able to...pick my partners.” She stared at his chest.
His mind stuttered to a halt.
It was something he’d guessed at, but avoided thinking about.
She’d been engaged at thirteen in a cult to a man who was likely old enough to be her father, if he understood correctly.
If she was the undercover agent they suspected, she’d been thrust in Orlando’s way to catch his interest. Isaac couldn’t think too hard about what that meant because he didn’t want to. The idea of that sleazy man anywhere near her had Isaac’s hands curling into fists.
Tanya wanted to piece herself back together any way she could. She was a fighter, distinctly aware of her disadvantages—and how to fix them. He had to respect a person with that kind of inner strength.
“You aren’t saying anything,” she whispered, betraying some of her nerves.
“I’m just processing it all,” he said. “Unlike you, I just woke up.”
“You can say no, it was just a thought.” She glanced away.
“Why me?” He stroked his hand up and down her back.
“Because I don’t think you would use sex against me. I think you enjoy people.”
“Pegged me there. I should be honest with you. I have a bit of a reputation...” He’d never said as much to an asset before, but again—Tanya was different.
“Of what? Sleeping with people like me? I guessed as much from the looks. You aren’t against the idea?”
“No, and I think I understand what you’re trying to do. Replace the bad memories with good ones. This job had to have been hard on you, and you’re trying to regain ownership back of yourself, mind and body.” Usually, he was just delivering on the fantasy fulfillment of a fling for some spoiled rich girl. Besides, everyone deserved a good time and no one got hurt. What Tanya needed was deeper and more complex. It was downright intimidating on a level that Isaac wasn’t used to.
“That sounds about right,” she said.
“How long did you think about this?”
“Not long.”
“Maybe we should eat first—”
“It’s a yes or no question. I’m not asking for you to do anything else. I don’t expect...more.”
“Are you sure I’m the right man for the job? I mean, you might not like my performance.”
“I don’t appreciate your sense humor.”
“If you’re looking to have sex to relax, then you have to be willing to relax.” He jostled her slightly and her tense body wobbled.
Tanya just kept frowning.
He was attracted to her, physically, and he plain liked her. There would be no complications because when someone finally came for her, she’d be whisked away and protected for what she knew. This, right now, was simple human connection, pleasure and fulfilling a need. Something besides a thrill or a fantasy. If he could support a woman like Tanya, why shouldn’t he? How many people did she open up to enough to trust with a request like, please make me orgasm?
Isaac leaned in and kissed Tanya’s cheek. He felt the muscles in her face constrict and her whole body go tight. He slid his lips along her jaw, content to lick the water drops off her skin.
They’d almost kissed once, and though he’d known it was an act, there’d been heat behind her eyes. Real feeling that wasn’t faked.
“Kiss me,” he said against her cheek.
Tanya turned, only a little, and their mouths met. The sensation of a thousand miniature explosions lit up his body from head to toe. A heady, rush of lust sent all his blood rushing to his groin.
The need was real.
She tugged on his shirt and her arm around his neck tightened. He stepped between her legs, forcing them apart and bringing their bodies more into alignment. He slid his hands down to her hips and tugged her closer. Despite the chill of his wet clothes, her heat was close to burning him up.
If a single, brief kiss were any sort of indication of what it could be like between them, he was prepared for good, if not great.
“Do you require an audition?” he asked, keeping it light.
“Wasn’t that what you were doing?”
“Well, a kiss proves chemistry. It doesn’t say anything about my sexual prowess.”
“I see.” She leaned back and frowned.
“I’m messing with you.” He jostled her slightly. “The whole point was to relax.”
“You haven’t said yes or no.” She pulled the robe closed a bit more.
“It’s a bit more intimidating when a strong, confident woman says she wants to sleep with you for your dick magic.”
“I did not say—”
“I’m playing around.” He pinched her chin playfully. “I just wanted to see if we really did have chemistry. That it wasn’t all in my head. I think we could have a lot of fun together.”
“Oh...”
“You should tell me what you like.” Isaac leaned into her. He was going to do this, and he’d do it right, because this wasn’t just about getting a few moments of pleasure.
“Just...anything is good.”
“Anything? That’s a little dangerous. What if I stick it in your butt?”
“Isaac.”
“What? I’m just saying, I know you have specific ideas in mind. You should tell me. Don’t make me guess.” He stroked her back and fought the urge to grin. Her cheeks had the faintest tinge of pink on them. “Do you like to be on bottom, lying down, sitting, what?”
“On top,” she muttered.
“I figured.” The way he saw it, Tanya needed the control. She had to regain bits of herself she’d given up pursing other goals. This was just one way to fit it all back together.
“What is that supposed to mean?” She frowned at him.
“You just seem like an ‘on top’ kind of girl.” He grinned and pushed her hair over her shoulder, exposing her neck. She’d somewhat relaxed again and the robe gaped open. “Now, how about some warm up?”
“What do you mean?” She narrowed her gaze.
“I mean like, oral?” He quirked a brow. “More kissing?”
“Oh, well, I guess if that’s what you want.”
“Cupcake, we’re talking about you here.”
“Me?” Her eyes fluttered wide with surprise.
“Tonight it’s all about you.”
Isaac was going to enjoy this far more than he should.
8.
Friday. Lond
on, United Kingdom.
Tanya’s back hit the mattress and the robe fell open. Her head buzzed and her hands fumbled with Isaac’s damp shirt. The cool air of the bedroom chilled the material. Her too-warm body shivered in response.
Isaac leaned over her, his big body pressing her down into the mattress. There was no flutter of fear, no second thoughts. He didn’t set off her alarm bells. It was a freeing sensation to let go and lose herself in the moment. The feel of his hands on her body, the hot and cold of her skin, the way he stared at her like a starving man. She curled her toes on nothing and fisted the sheets under her.
He was far too pleased with himself. That silly grin hadn’t left his face since she’d uttered the word sex. It wasn’t a threatening expression. It was lighthearted. Fun. He didn’t strike her as the cruel type of guy either. The smile was a promise of pleasure, something she desperately wanted.
Her nerves were wound up, still. Putting herself out there, asking him for this, it was a risk. She had to find a balance between the person she was playing and herself. The line was so thin and blurred these days, she needed to hang onto what made her Tanya. The real Tanya.
Isaac knew, and had guessed, enough about her that he could fill in most of the blanks. It made him both safe and dangerous. She didn’t have to pretend with him, but she also had to hold onto what secrets she still owned. To do that, she had to regain some of her confidence, or else she’d give him everything.
He dipped his head and pressed his lips to her stomach. The muscles in her abdomen fluttered at the gentle touch. Her body didn’t quite remember what it was like to feel pleasure. That connection was one way back to being herself again.
She let her eyelids drift close. He kissed his way up her stomach and to her sternum. Lust wound itself around her with every touch of skin on skin, making it hard to breathe.
His damp shirt slid against her hip. The waterlogged fabric sent more chill bumps up and down her body.
Tanya hissed and shifted her too-hot body away from the threat of cold.
“My bad.” Isaac pushed up and pulled the shirt off, leaving nothing but a pair of battered dog tags on his upper body.
She’d seen a lot of perfectly-sculpted men, but Isaac was different. The scars on his chest and arms told a story. He’d sacrificed to save someone before, and she could trust he’d do it again. He’d proven that to her so far. She hoped to not have to him to risk his life again, but if she did, he was the person she’d call on.
They stared at each other.
It might be the most honest, truthful moment she’d had in...years.
She wanted him, and he wanted her. It really was that easy.
Isaac planted one hand on the bed at her waist and leaned forward. His other hand flattened against the mattress near her shoulder and he lowered his body to hers. She gasped at the feel of his cool skin. His mouth sealed over hers, his tongue teasing her lips. She slid her hands around his waist, luxuriating in the feel of another warm body.
His hand coasted over her shoulder and covered her breast. She groaned and arched her back, but he shifted his hand lower. His fingers teased her stomach and the crease where hip met leg. His lips curved into a smile mid-kiss.
What the hell was he up to?
He caressed her folds, gentle intimate strokes.
The breath stuttered from her lungs at the promise of what he could do with those very talented fingers. She appreciated that he was an experienced partner. There would be no fumbling around, and all the uncertainty was on her side.
“This is going to be fun.” His lips caressed hers as he spoke.
Isaac pressed his mouth to hers. His fingers thrust inside of her, taking her by surprise. She lifted her hips and groaned. He chuckled and pressed deeper, massaging her mound with his thumb.
The tension in her body shifted from nervous to needy. She planted her foot on the bed and shifted in time with his hand, seeking what he offered.
He kissed down her neck and body, pausing only to gently bite her inner thigh. His hand never stopped moving, his fingers curling and thrusting in time with his thumb.
She sucked down a deep breath and shifted, trying to get closer. Or she tried to. He braced his arm across her hips and held her in place. She gripped the comforter with both hands and waited for the panic to rear its ugly head.
Isaac kissed her mound and worked his thumb lower until he massaged the delicate skin over her clit. The bundle of nerves sent ripples of pleasure through her body.
Tanya groaned and arched her back.
There wasn’t room for anything but lust right now. Not with the way he was filling her body.
He let go of her hips and pulled his fingers from inside of her. She whimpered at the loss of him, but only for a moment. Isaac slid his hands under her ass and lifted her off the comforter. His mouth kissed her folds, his tongue delving into her body. She tossed her head back and groaned. The sensation of his tongue and lips on her so intimately set of tremors inside of her.
She planted her heels on the edge of the bed and shifted her hips, searching for the right spot or rhythm. Her nipples ached so bad she covered her breasts with her hands and pretended they were his hands instead.
He thrust in time to her movements, sometimes pressing the flat of his tongue over her clit.
“Isaac...”
Tanya panted his name.
She peered down at him, all the breath in her lungs whooshing out at the hungry way he stared up her body. Like he wanted her just as much as she wanted this. And that made all the difference in the world.
His tongue rubbed her bundle of nerves again and she shuddered, the tight coil of lust releasing a bit. She shoved her hips up and stared at the ceiling without seeing it as the orgasm cascaded through her.
Isaac kissed her mound and eased her back to the bed. For such a strong, alpha kind of guy he was incredibly kind and gentle.
He crawled up the mattress and flopped down beside her, twining their fingers together.
Her body hummed with release, but she was still hungry.
What was it Isaac had called this? The warm up?
She rolled to her side, studying the way his chest rose and fell, how the scars on his arms and chest told a story of a man who gave too much. He’d beat himself up forever for not giving it all. She understood that drive, the need to help others. Maybe that was how they got here, two like souls needing more.
Tanya couldn’t do anything about his guilt. She was still dealing with her own, but that erection was something she was more than equipped and ready to handle.
“What are you doing?” Isaac peered up at her with one eye.
She knelt next to him and focused on the belt. The leather had swelled from the water but she worked it free of the catch.
“Easy, easy.” He cupped his groin.
Tanya chuckled and tabbed his jeans open. He took over the zipper duty and she slid off the bed. He snagged his wallet out of his back pocket before she pulled his soaked jeans down and off his body.
“It’s a little cold, okay?” He still had one hand over his erection.
“I’ll be gentle, I promise.” She crawled back onto the bed and leaned over him, kissing his chest and jaw while she slipped her hand past the elastic of his boxers.
She wrapped her hand around his cock and kissed his mouth. He guided her hand, showing her how to touch him, how tight to squeeze.
When was the last time sex was fun?
A hell of a long time, that was for sure.
“I think it likes you,” he said against her mouth.
“I can warm it up.” She smiled.
“I’ll get a condom.” He let go over and scrambled for his wallet.
Tanya straddled his thighs and pulled his boxers down. If the cold affected him, she couldn’t tell. He ripped the condom packet open and she snagged the latex. Isaac levered up, watching her hands work the protection down over his skin. His Adam’s apple bobbed and his cheeks sank in.
; This was why she’d wanted it to be Isaac. It wasn’t pity sex, this wasn’t just about her, he was attracted to her, too.
“Kiss me,” she said.
“Bossy.” One side of his mouth hitched up.
“You don’t seem to mind.”
“Fuck no.”
Isaac fisted her hair in his hand and dragged her face to his. She pressed her chest to his, and let him kiss her, devouring her mouth, his tongue slipping past her lips. He guided his cock, sliding it between her folds, back and forth. She shifted her hips, luxuriating in the anticipation of it all. If the cold had any impact, she really couldn’t tell.
Tanya canted her hips and stopped the moment she felt the head of his cock fit against her. She planted her hand on his shoulder and broke the kiss, staring down at his face. This was the moment she wanted to see.
Isaac dropped to his elbows, his gaze drifting down to the point where their bodies were almost connected.
She eased down, gravity doing the work for her.
His hands slid up her sides to her waist, holding her steady. Bit by bit, she worked his cock into her, in no hurry.
Isaac muttered words she couldn’t hear and plenty of unintelligible sounds. Maybe he did it for her benefit or maybe that’s just how he was, but it did stroke her ego. His hands coasted up her chest and he cupped her breasts, rolling her nipples between his fingers.
She gasped and sat down hard, her internal muscles going tight.
“Holy fucking shit.” Isaac groaned.
Tanya covered his hands with hers, urging him on.
She rose on shaky legs, her stomach fluttering.
Isaac lifted his head and kissed her chest.
She gripped his shoulders, holding herself steady, and worked her hips. His cock slid in and out of her at her pace. She tilted her pelvis, changing the angle of his thrust.
“Oh—Tanya. Fuck.” His fingers dug into her skin and he gasped for breath.
She did this to him.
Her.
It was a heady, powerful feeing. More than she’d expected. She’d hoped it would be good with Isaac, but she hadn’t dared to hope they’d fit this well.
She reached between them, her fingers slipping over her clit.
Dangerous in Action (Aegis Group Alpha Team, #2) Page 9
