Adron fought the need to comfort her, to protect her and that was only on the surface. Somehow, she’d pierced his inner armor with one forlorn look, reaching emotions deep inside him he’d thought long dead. Needing to distance himself from her, he pushed back in his chair intent on crushing those feelings as he meant to crush her. Well, perhaps not crush, but certainly subdue. He owed it to himself and Robert.
“You leave me with no options but to set myself against you,” Laurel cried. “He’s my son, a person in his own right, not a pawn in some game.” She wanted to scream at him but managed to control the impulse. In spite of her struggle to contain her emotions, her eyes filled with moisture. “A child needs a mother, one to love him and protect him from harm.”
His voice swelled with arrogant resolution. “A mother figure I agree, but not necessarily his mother. I rarely saw my own mother.”
Affronted, she sniffed and her voice held a deal of sarcasm. “No wonder your notions are so misguided. I’m sorry you were deprived of a proper upbringing.”
His lips thinned. “Ma’am, you have stepped beyond the bounds.”
She tried to placate him, to soften his anger and lowered her voice. “I beg pardon. I’m simply explaining the need to protect my son.”
“I shall protect my ward. Robert is dead because of you. My cousin married you,” he blazed, “but that wasn’t good enough was it? You rejected him when he returned from the war crippled and impotent.”
“That’s not true.” Laurel wasn’t certain what he meant by impotent but she’d never rejected Robert for any reason. He’d turned against her. Swift heat burned her cheeks as she recalled that night she’d tried to renew their relationship. Robert had yelled at her, told her to clothe herself and get out. The back of her eyes stung with the memory. The accusation she was responsible for Robert’s demise stabbed her to the heart.
“He overdosed on laudanum. I did nothing. I swear.” She swiftly turned away from his hard scrutiny.
Ignoring her words, his patience seemed to wear thin. “The main point is you removed my ward from his home without my permission.”
Everything had spiraled out of control and she fought to steady her voice. “He is my son. I don’t need your permission.”
“You do. Need my permission that is,” he drawled.
Fuming, she drew a deep breath. Only one thing held her together, she must contain her emotions in order to protect Jamie. This was his guardian. “You took my child and disappeared.” Her voice cracked. “I was frightened to death that some daft maniac had absconded with him with the intention of disappearing forever.”
With his eyes trained on her, he lifted his brows. His arrogant expression cut her to the quick and she longed to slap his face.
Outrage loosened her tongue. “Only a demented scoundrel would be that cruel,” she said in a sharp, disparaging tone.
With deadly speed, he rose and stepped around the desk to grasp her arm. “You dare speak to me in that tone? I won’t have it,” he growled. “My cousin was under your spell from the moment he saw you and to keep you content, he knuckled under at every turn. He was blinded by your beauty, but I’m not so easily captured.”
The touch of his fingers against her bare skin sent a tingle of awareness all the way to her shoulder and the look in his eyes heated the atmosphere like a bolt of lightning.
Her consciousness of him sizzled to new fury. She tightened her lips and jerked her arm free. He was an unreasonable, pig-headed tyrant and at this moment she longed to throttle some sense into him. “That’s a shocking bounder. I didn’t rule over Robert in any way. And I’m not trying to capture you.”
“You drove Robert wild with jealousy and he let you because he could no longer perform. Then you betrayed him.”
“Never,” she denied in a strangled voice.
“Your butterfly nature emphasized Robert’s uselessness as a lover, stole his pride and his will to live. He longed for death because of you.”
Shocked, she gasped and stared at him. Perhaps that is what he’d meant by impotent. She gritted her teeth and her hands clenched at her side. “Lies. All lies.”
“He’s not been in the ground even six months and you traipse off to France with my ward in tow. No doubt to meet a lover,” he said in a bitter voice.
“How dare you accuse me.” She glared at him and fought for control. Because her situation was too precarious for her to lose her temper, she faked a calm she did not feel. Biting her bottom lip and unable to fully suppress her emotions, she dropped her gaze to the floor. She’d be damned if she would let him read how his accusations wounded her.
“I was on the way to visit my Aunt Betsy in Sussex. She doesn’t travel well and I needed time away.” Her voice trailed off as she shrugged.
“I stand corrected.” Adron lifted his brows. “But you still need my permission to take Jamie on a trip.”
“I’m his mother and as such I have some say.”
“According to the law you don’t.”
Visibly shaken by the truth, she sank into the chair at her side. The question of how to combat this stern, unyielding man tore holes in her thoughts. She lifted her gaze to meet his. “A tyrant then, that all must obey?”
His jaw tightened. “Your tongue is about to overload your shoulders,” he warned. “I’ll demonstrate tyrant for you. From today forward the child will abide under my roof and access rest with me.” He took his seat behind the desk again.
His agitating touch on her arm had filtered all the way to her toes and she was thankful to have him a safe distance away. She forced out a breath between clenched teeth, hating him and his autocratic pronouncements.
“Your threat is useless. I shall abide under your roof as well,” she said in the same haughty tone he had used.
He lifted one brow, his stare direct and searching. “Perhaps, I’ve been overly harsh. However, I owe it to Robert to guard his son.” He drew a sharp breath. “You may have full access to Jamie,” he hesitated and seemed to ponder his words. “As his nanny. In that situation, I can control his surroundings, keep him safe. You understand.”
She moistened her lips and cleared her throat. “I will put up with much to be with my child.”
“Very affecting, to be sure but I dare say this attitude of a loving mother is only for show,” he droned with that hateful crook of his brow still in evidence.
Elevating her chin, she tried to stare him down. “You’re wrong.”
His smile appeared more as a grimace. “Prove it. My sister will be here in a few days with her brood. Since we’re already established your role in regards to Jamie, I suggest you step into the nanny position with her children as well.” He held up his hands. “Only for a short while. That would allow a full reading of your character. Instead of a glimpse of this mothering temperament you claim, your entire nature would be on display.”
She gazed up at him with an incredulous stare. “Are you serious? Why?”
“My aim is to protect Jamie. If you’re to atone for the past . . .”
“You know nothing of the past,” she interrupted. Fighting to control the urge to pummel him, she glared at him instead.
He remained silent for a long, uncomfortable moment, his gaze doing battle with her steady regard. “I have it on good authority that you’ll try to paste an acceptable façade on your actions for a while, but remember the part you play will be your only access to my ward,” Lord Gladrey mocked. “No doubt your devoted mummy act will quickly disappear.”
“You are wrong.” She moistened her lips and cleared her throat. “I love my son and intend to be with him. I don’t mind where I sleep. Even the attic will do.
A glint appeared in his narrow-eyed stare and his scrutiny intensified. “You’re a desirable woman, passionate, full of life and longings. It must have bee
n hard for you when Robert returned home impotent and crippled,” he sympathized. “I’d imagine a young widow has long denied needs. Needs that I might be willing to fulfill if you ask nicely. I admit I’m attracted to you.”
Mortified, swift color scalded her neck and rose to her cheeks. He had deliberately twisted her words for which she longed to slap his sneering face.
“You—you . . .” Forced to swallow her helpless rage, her voice sank to a choked whisper.
He cocked his head to the side. “It’s as well you managed to swallow those words.”
“You wretched, unprincipled cur.” She glared at him, her nails digging into her palms.
“As bad as all that, huh?” Amusement lit his eyes before he sobered. “Well, the offer stands if you change your mind.”
Fury swamped her and speech was almost beyond impossible as fresh tears stung the back of her eyes. She dared not look directly at him, but stared at his forehead and shot a stiff response at him. “This is ridiculous.”
He shrugged. “It’s that or nothing. Your choice.”
Laurel elevated her chin even higher. “I’ll be happy to depart with my son as soon as may be.”
“I warn you. If you leave here, you’ll leave without my ward. I told you, I must make certain all is well for Jamie.”
“Then you will never be shed of me. Do your worst,” she invited with fire in her eyes. Her entire body tightened with determination.
“So, you accept my terms.” A wintry smile crossed his features and he inclined his head. “At your behest, so be it. One of the servant girls will be available to sit with the children when you are required to appear at family meals or any other social gathering I deem necessary.”
He seemed determined to have his way and his tactics were as subtle as a battering ram. With a bruised spirit, she remained silent. Every time she opened her mouth the situation seemed to grow worse.
“I shall keep you under close scrutiny, so watch yourself.”
A lump formed in her throat and she swallowed several times before her gaze locked with his.
“With my sister’s brood added to the mix, I dare say that dealing with a full nursery will be beyond you.”
“Certainly not. I’ll never give up,” she promised, her lips in a grim line. “No matter the afflictions you choose to burden me with.”
She couldn’t read his expression but his eyes gleamed. “You will meet the rest of the family at dinner tonight.”
“I’d rather be excused.”
“So soon? I’d have given odds you would’ve held firm a while longer—for Jamie.”
She wouldn’t plead with this—this misbegotten cur. All she really wanted was to hold Jamie in her arms and in her exhausted state sink into slumber.
Laurel swallowed nervously under his unwavering stare. Tilting her head to the side, she allowed a meaningless smile to touch her lips. “You shan’t cut up my peace so easily. I’ll be charmed to meet your family tonight.”
Momentary surprise widened his eyes. “That’s wise.”
Satisfaction glittered in his gaze making the urge to fling herself down on the floor and drum her heels in frustrated rage nearly overwhelming.
Adron leisurely deposited the quill he’d been rolling between his hands aside and laced his fingers together. He continued to regard her from beneath lowered lids, his gaze trained on her tightly clasped hands and his expression became more guarded.
“You do fully understand your duties?”
She continued to meet his stare, but she remained silent.
“A maid will clean the nursery and serve the meals. You are only required to do what any loving mother would. Supervise baths and tuck the little ones in bed each night.”
His voice grew a trifle wistful. “Hugs and kisses all around. That sort of thing.”
“Certainly.”
“Naturally you will continue to take meals with the family and to attend any engagement I deem necessary—however late.”
Still she remained quiet, saying nothing to fill the expectant pause. She couldn’t utter a word else she might break down or lose her grip and do something ill advised—like shoot the sorry sod. Would this day never end?
“Do you understand?”
Laurel gave a tight little smile. “I understand. All this is absurd.”
“I hold that I’m doing nothing more than safeguarding my ward.” He frowned. “Certainly this situation is not what one would wish. However, I feel sure we shall arrive at some mutual agreement.” He paused as if to gather his thoughts. “Consider yourself free to pursue marriage to whichever gentleman you can snare, and there should be several.”
Laurel narrowed her lids. “I take it I’m to marry and leave my son with you.”
Adron dipped his head in a nod, his gaze never leaving her face. “The boy stays here.”
Shocked beyond belief at his ludicrous suggestion, she could scarcely contain her temper much less rise from her chair, but finally she managed to stand and curtsy.
Every word that flowed from his mouth strengthened her resolve not to weaken. “I won’t leave here without my son.
Vaulting to his feet with nostrils flared, he glared at her. “Soon, you’ll want to leave, to gad about, to remarry, to live a life as any young, attractive woman would want to do, but you’ll do so without my ward. He is mine to protect. Your devotion won’t last forever.”
“I won’t leave my son,” she repeated between her teeth.
“We’ll soon see—won’t we?”
She squared her shoulders and faced him. “We shall indeed.”
Chapter 3
Laurel surveyed the room that would be her future home in the glow of a lamp and grimaced. The light was more substantial than the single candle she had been allotted earlier, but a closer inspection of the small space did nothing to improve the chamber. Three strides in any direction would find her nose pressed against a wall. She was alone at last, no longer under the earl’s fierce scrutiny with his dissecting stare that stripped her to the soul. Heaving a sigh of relief, she sank onto the narrow bed.
Lord Gladrey’s accusations concerning Robert were untrue and wounding, possibly as he’d hoped. His proposition was another matter and a fresh blush of mortification scorched her cheeks. His conduct was unforgivable.
She had landed in a quagmire of problems, but at least she was with her son. Desperately weary, she surveyed the chamber. The room was adequate for her needs and well scrubbed—a servant’s quarters on the floor above the nursery. Certain this simple chamber was the first in a long line of slights and supposed hardships, she snorted. He had promised to create difficulties for her to overcome, but if this pokey little room was the best he had to offer, his plan would never work.
Shoving those thoughts aside, she rose to her feet. She dared not be late for the first meal under his roof. Reaching for the additional garments draped over the back of the only chair in the room, she inspected the rest of the apparel. Selecting a soft kerseymere gown in lavender suitable for a widow in mourning, she held the garment up in front of her. At least this gown had a stylish neckline embroidered with rosettes and a double flounced hem. With a sigh, she glanced at the borrowed corset she’d been forced to abandon. Because of Lord Gladrey’s harsh stance against her, she had no maid to assist with her toilette.
The maid only serves the children, she mimicked under her breath. She resented the need to flout convention by appearing without a corset, something a proper lady would never do, but she couldn’t lace such a garment without help.
The gown alone did little to push up and display her bosom or nip her in at the waist. Playing the role of a barely tolerated, indigent relative diminished her worth, and the discovery of a pair of white, silk stockings among the clothing did nothing to alleviate her feel
ings of ill usage.
Arranging her hair pulled back in a demure style suited her mood. Laurel wasn’t satisfied with the effect, but on short notice this was the best she could do. Exiting the chamber, she squared her shoulders and picked up her skirts to descend the stairs. It was time to face the enemy.
Lord Gladrey met her at the bottom of the steps and surveyed her from the crown of her head to the hem of her gown. “Not so very different from your dull, rain soaked garments.”
“A dowd to be sure,” she acknowledged. Her lips curved upward in a mocking smile and she elevated her chin.
“Come, let us join the others.” He hesitated, poised to comment further, but said nothing further about her appearance.
Laurel stepped forward and placed her fingers on his extended arm. For the first time, she was aware of him as a man, a strong, capable man, not merely the enemy. Male trumpeting to female and suddenly, with every feminine part of her being, she longed for him to look on her with favor instead of disdain. She took a deep breath, inhaling his spicy scent and followed him into the drawing room.
Facing the family en mass was somewhat daunting. As unobtrusively as possible, she studied the assembled group starting with the elderly lady seated on one of the four ivory-brocade sofas. Her deep purple gown, draped with a paisley shawl, reminded Laurel of the garments offered to her earlier. This must be Lord Gladrey’s grandmother. Laurel hoped when she reached that advanced age, her white hair would be as thick and lovely as his grandmother’s. Her features were still stamped with traces of past beauty, displayed in her sparkling brown eyes, much like Lord Gladrey’s.
Laurel allowed her gaze to drift around the room, touching the light cream walls and moving to the tall window hangings that matched the sofas. The fireplace surround of white marble, the wingback chairs in the same light fabric as the sofas, plus the darker cream tables scattered about the space, gave a sterile quality to the room. No doubt Lord Gladrey had selected the whole—stern, stark décor—intimidating like the master.
Conduct Unbecoming of a Gentleman Page 3
