“Anna, you’re overreacting.” “Whatever, Buck. Thanks for the lovely night.” I took a few steps toward him to try to get to my coat.
Buck grabbed a hold of me by the waist and swung me in closer to him just then. He had a silly smirk on his face which only agitated me even more.
“Let go of me!” I cried out.
“Anna,” he whispered, and then suddenly Buck’s head bent down and his lips pressed tightly to mine. It only lasted a few seconds before he backed up to see my reaction. He was still smirking. I immediately swung back my hand that was still clenched into a fist behind me and then released all of my fury and irritation as my fist collided with Buck’s hard skull, directly on his eye. He instantaneously cried out and stumbled backwards, probably more from pure shock than from the actual blow.
“Not the reaction you were hoping for?” I asked, suddenly feeling calmer and better having released some of the built-up tension from within me.
He was holding onto his eye with his hand, suddenly furious with me now. “You’re crazy! Why would you do something like that?”
“Why would you kiss me, especially in a moment like that?”
He squinted at me with his other eye, his hand still pressed against the one I had punched. “I was trying to get you to calm down.” “By kissing me?” I screamed.
He winced a little. “Do you have a ring on?”
I suddenly looked down at my still clenched fist. It was throbbing from hitting his hard face, and there on my middle finger was a ring with a sapphire stone on it in the shape of a heart. I looked back at Buck and felt a little twinge of guilt for hitting him now. “I’ll go get you some ice.”
I walked into the kitchen and began shuffling around his freezer searching for an ice pack. The phone rang, echoing throughout the house. I turned around and stared at a large black phone hanging on the wall behind me and guessed it to be more memorabilia from his grandmother.
“Can you get that?” Buck shouted at me.
I slammed the freezer door shut and reached for the phone with my bad hand. It hurt as I did so. I started to wonder if maybe I had broken something. “Hello?” “Anna, is that you?”
It was my father.
“Yeah,” I whispered lowering my eyebrows. Why would he have called here?
“Put Buck on the phone,” he commanded me.
I thought about hanging up on him, but instead, I gently laid the phone down on the table and went to get him. “Buck, it’s for you. It’s the honorable Pastor John James.” He gave me a look of surprise but didn’t dare say anything to me about it as he tromped into the next room. His hand came down from his eye revealing the damage I had done. It had already turned a deep shade of purple and blue as it began to swell. I didn’t listen to their conversation. I just sat down on the loveseat and found myself staring blankly at the floor.
“Get your coat on,” Buck instructed me as he came back in. He walked to a small closet near the front door and retrieved a coat for himself.
I stood up and looked at him cautiously. “That was fast. What did he want?” He bit his lip slightly, still angry, but I could tell he was hiding something from me. “He didn’t want me to tell you right away, afraid that you’d be upset, but I don’t really see how you could get much more upset than you already are.”
I continued to stand there waiting for him to tell me what he was talking about. I put my hands on my hips impatiently. “Did he confess his undying love for Mrs. Anderson or something?” “No, he wants me to drive you to the hospital.”
“What for?”
He turned around and picked up my coat for me. “It’s your mom. They think she’s had a heart attack.” The ride to Seneca Memorial was a long, silent one. The roads were slick and wet. Buck drove cautiously and too slowly for me not to keep losing my patience. I kept wondering if my mother was okay, what had happened, where was Matthew? Everything kept swirling around in my head. I glanced at Buck and saw the bruised, bulging eye. Probably another reason he was driving so carefully, I presumed.
Perhaps my mother had finally realized what exactly my father was up to with Mrs. Anderson. That had to be it. She now knew he was having the affair, and it probably broke her heart in half and gave her a heart attack from finding out. How horrible for her if she now knew. She was too fragile to handle something like this. Her heart was too delicate. She had always had irregular heartbeats since she was a child, and I knew she wouldn’t be able to take something as devastating as this. My father was going to be the reason for my mother’s death.
Once we were parked and inside, we headed directly for the cardiac floor of the hospital. “Helene James’ room,” I said trying to catch my breath from walking so quickly. I had decided that taking the stairs would ultimately be faster than the elevator. Buck and I stood in front of a large desk with four nurses sitting behind it. They didn’t look particularly busy, but then again, it was almost ten at night. The hallways of the hospital were quiet and everyone was whispering so as not to disturb those that were asleep.
“Are you a relative?” the nurse questioned me. She was chewing vigorously on a piece of gum. “Yes. I’m her daughter.”
“She’s in room 1048. Go down the hall and it’ll be on your left,” she instructed me.
Buck followed me but remained a few steps back. I walked quickly to the end of the hall and hurried toward the door labeled 1048 in large gold metal numbers. I burst in and saw my mother lying in bed with all sorts of monitors and cords running to and from her.
“Anna,” she whispered, reaching out her hand to grab hold of mine. I rushed to her side, relieved that she was all right. I immediately felt the chill of her cold fingers as she touched me. My father was sitting on the other side of the bed directly across from me. I barely gave him notice, focusing all my attention to my mother who looked pale and exhausted.
“What happened?” I asked, my eyes now moving accusingly toward my father and then back to her. She attempted a half smile. She always did this when she was trying to cover something up, trying to make things appear better than they really were. She had done this since I was a small child so I would feel better about the situation, only now I could see right through it.
“I’m okay. Really.”
I wasn’t convinced. “What happened?” I repeated, adding a little more emphasis this time.
“She was having her palpitations again,” my father explained. “She started getting sharp pains with them this time, though.”
“You usually don’t get them unless you’re upset. What were you doing? Were you two fighting?” My mother gave my father an uneasy look. A small wrinkle appeared between her eyebrows as she had a concerned expression on her face.
“Why would you think we were fighting?” she asked.
My eyes went to the floor. “I just assumed …” but I stopped. I couldn’t talk about it like this, especially here. A tall doctor came through the door. His hair was dark and he wore tiny, wire-rimmed glasses. He glanced over a page on a clipboard and then tucked it under his arm. “I’m Dr. Weston. I’ve come to reassess you, Helene.” He flashed a smile full of bright white teeth. “Are you able to sit up a little for me?”
I moved out of his way so he could get closer to my mother. I watched curiously as he checked some of the monitors and then wrote down the information on the clipboard. He checked her pulse and her blood pressure and then walked in front of the bed to look at her.
“Looks like you’ve got some company,” he said cheerfully.
She nodded.
“How are you feeling?”
“Better, thank you.”
“You’re responding well to the medication. Very good. Any more pains?” he asked. “No. Just tired.”
“Yes, well, that’s expected.” He turned and gave my father and I a look over. “I’m going to keep Helene overnight for observation. We haven’t totally ruled out a myocardial infarction just yet. I’m still awaiting the results of her cardiac enzymes and expect a
call from the lab shortly on those.” He turned his head toward my mother again. “Try to get some rest, Mrs. James. I will be in to check on you in the morning before I leave.”
“Thank you, doctor,” my father said as we watched him leave the room.
“You should go home and get some sleep,” my mother told me.
“I just got here. I’m not going anywhere.” I was irritated that she had suggested such a thing. I wasn’t a child.
“Did you have a good night with Buck? Where is he?” she asked, still practically whispering. “He’s here.” I glanced toward the doorway. Buck was obviously within listening distance as he peeked his head in the room for a moment so she could see that he was there. “Oh my goodness!” my mother gasped. “Your eye.”
Buck disappeared around the corner again, embarrassed.
My father gave me a hard, stern look. Had he already figured out I had done that?
“Um, I think he ran into the corner of a cupboard or something,” I quickly spit out. “Where’s Matthew?”
“Lydia has him,” she answered. It was one of her friends from the church. “He was excited to stay the night.”
We sat there in silence for a few moments just listening to the hum of the monitors. There was a huge elephant in the room, and I grew more furious by the second that no one was acknowledging it. “What were you doing exactly when you got these palpitations?” I asked, suddenly feeling brave, wanting to get this all off my chest. I wanted this weight lifted from my shoulders because it wasn’t fair to have to hide this any longer. It was too much of a burden for me to bear, too much for my mother. If my father wanted to be with another woman, we would turn our backs on him and never look back. I had little respect for him left now anyway. It was time to tell the truth. If she didn’t know already, which I assumed she did, it was time to expose this failure of a Christian man who stood at a pulpit every Sunday and made everyone else in the room feel guilty for their sins when a big, fat finger should have really been pointed right back at the pulpit to Pastor John James. The thought of him standing up there believing he had any right to speak about Jesus repulsed me.
My stomach churned and my heart ached as I saw my mother in the hospital bed. And then I sighed, knowing that I was about to be a coward again. All of my strength dissipated when I realized that such a truth could possibly cause her frail heart to fail once and for all and then what good would the truth be if it had all been revealed and then the one honest, loving, respectful parent I had left, the one person who encouraged me and uplifted me was gone? If she didn’t know, I would not, could not be the one to sit here right now and tell her of my accusations toward the man she thought she knew and loved. It would still have to keep my burden bundled up inside of me, tearing at me, but safer there than to cause physical harm to my loving mother.
The silence was broken by the big heavy door to the room cracking open. I looked up expecting to see Buck there. Instead, I gasped as Mrs. Anderson stepped into my mother’s hospital room. I wasn’t the only one completely shocked. My mother look horrified as well. And just with that one look on her face, I knew for absolute certain that my mother did indeed know something was up.
“Helene, how are you doing?” Mrs. Anderson asked, removing the hood she had over top of her head and exposing her brown hair streaked in gray sticking out under a white lace shawl that she wore often.
I had never realized before how raspy and coarse Mrs. Anderson’s voice was. It sounded as if she had been a chain smoker for years. Her face seemed hardened and stern, so much the opposite of my mother, but of course, she could never compare to her in my eyes.
“What is she doing here?” my mother asked, the question almost a hiss coming from her mouth. She suddenly looked even more upset than she had before as she looked toward my father. “You really shouldn’t be here,” he said, standing.
She raised her arms up as if she meant no harm. “I know, I know. Please, I need to speak with you,” she said to my father. “Are you kidding me?” My voice sounded louder than anyone else’s in the room. “How did she get in? Didn’t they ask her if she was family at the front desk?” I found myself now standing, rage rushing through my veins. I wanted so badly to physically remove her from the room. She had caused this family so much pain and now she had the gall to come to my mother’s bedside while she was in the hospital? Who did she think she was? I felt the sting of tears filling my eyes without my consent. This seemed to be happening a lot lately. I was so out of control. I had too much built up. Mrs. Anderson had triggered an intense emotion from within me, and I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to refrain myself from truly losing my temper now.
Buck ducked into the room just then, a look of concern on his face for what was going on. Surely he didn’t doubt my opinion now seeing that she had come here in person only to interfere further with the relationship of my parents.
“This is not a good idea,” my mother said, trying to sit up more now. Her voice still remained so calm. Why had I not genetically gotten that gene passed down to me?
My father walked toward Mrs. Anderson and looked over his shoulder to his wife laying in the hospital bed, her condition fragile. “This will only take a moment,” he told her. “I’ll be right back.” He gave Buck a hard look on his way out.
As if Buck could read his mind, he suddenly came over to me and grabbed the back of my arm. “Come on. Let’s take a walk, Anna.” I was so stunned by what was happening that I didn’t even put up a struggle. I looked back at my mother, into her suddenly very sad eyes and my heart broke seeing her like this. I almost couldn’t stand to be in this room for another moment and allowed Buck to direct me out into the desolate hallway.
My eyes scanned the dimly lit corridor. Where had my father and Mrs. Anderson gone? They were nowhere to be seen. Buck continued to walk further away from the room as my legs shuffled forward right along with him. He led me to a small waiting room, and I collapsed into a scratchy, stuffed-arm chair that smelled of some sort of lemony cleaner. A TV hummed quietly above our heads. Buck sat across from me and gave me a look. His eye seemed to be even worse looking than before, but I noticed he could open it wider than he had been able to earlier.
I knew I should be back there in that room with my mother. She was all alone and God knew what was going through her head right now. I didn’t want to think about it. I didn’t want to go back there, and I didn’t want to see my father anywhere near Mrs. Anderson, the two of them standing even remotely close to one another. The thought made me want to puke. I slumped over and rested my head in my hands as the clock on the wall ticked, the noise starting to get on my nerves.
Why wasn’t Buck saying anything? He was usually good for some sort of remark, always putting his two cents in. He just sat there, not even looking my way, staring off in a daze.
I suddenly felt the need to break the silence. “Buck?”
“Huh?” He looked up now, raising his eyebrows so high that it made thick creases in his forehead. He looked tired.
I sat back in my chair and crossed my arms in front of me. “What do you think she wants?”
He sighed, probably hoping the conversation would be about anything but my father and Mrs. Anderson and the situation at hand. Maybe he was afraid to talk about it in case I would sock him in the face again.
“I honestly have no idea, Anna.” He suddenly reached over and held his hands out. I automatically repositioned myself so that my hands were resting in his. I felt the warmth of his skin soothing. “Listen to me,” he began, now looking directly into my the eyes. “Everything is going to be fine.”
I searched his one good eye for any sort of doubt. He seemed to be sincere. I had to admit, it did make me feel a little better for a moment, but life had been too perfect before. Something bad was bound to be thrown our way. This was definitely an obstacle that could potentially break up our entire family and the tightly-knit bond of trust that had seemed to always have been there as far back as I could remember
. Something was happening to the James family, and anyone who tried to be insightful and look into the future would only surely be able to see disaster ahead. It was crouching all around me like shadows that never went away, always hovering, ready to pounce at any moment and come crushing down around all of us.
We sat there for what seemed like hours, my hands being held inside of Buck’s. I could feel the sweat from our hands pressed together, but neither one of us seemed to mind. There was nothing left to do, nothing left to say. When we released our grips, we would have to go back and face reality. The cruelty of it all truly sickened me. It was so much worse for me than Buck, but he too would have to be witness to my family’s shame. He already had.
My mind wandered to the only thing that could make me happy, the only person in the entire world I really longed to be with at this moment. Emry’s face flashed before me in my head. He smiled and for a second, all of my worries were swept away.
“Anna.”
I looked up at Buck, his eyes sympathetic towards me.
“We have to go back now.” His eyes glanced up toward the clock and then his hands fell, releasing mine.
I held them there in the air for a moment before pulling them in tight to my side. I stood up and nodded. We walked more slowly back to my mother’s room, everything around me a foggy haze. We passed by room after room, all the doors closed as I imagined each patient in bed sleeping. We passed by the front desk and the nurses sitting behind it who eyed us silently as we walked on. There was a bench up ahead and a young woman sat there, her long brown hair covering her face as she slouched over ever so slightly. I looked at her as we went by and she turned her head up and met my eyes. She was pretty but her face was hardened. She was obviously upset by something. Was she going through something similar to what I was? Her lips were slightly pouty and her green eyes narrowed for a split second as I stared at her. Then she looked away, and I did the same as Buck touched my arm. I turned toward him and forced a quick smile.
Strange in Skin Page 8
